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#1 of 10 Old 10-27-2013, 06:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It's very interesting anyway.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-559913/A-obstetrician-men-NEVER-birth-child.html
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#2 of 10 Old 10-27-2013, 06:39 PM
 
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I think it is a matter of personal preference. In my case, my husband is my support, not a hindrance. But, I have seen men freak out when their SO goes into labor, which just creates more stress for mother.

I'm not even going to address men attending deliveries leading to divorce. That's just stupid.
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#3 of 10 Old 10-27-2013, 06:42 PM
 
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"And while we're on the subject, bring back the Twilight Sleep!  These darn wimmin keep squirming and complaining, how is a doctor supposed to do his JOB, dammit!"

 

It's the Daily Mail so it's exactly what I'd expect. 

 

ETA that is a made up quote, but I wouldn't be surprised if it lies on the editing room floor somewhere.

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#4 of 10 Old 10-27-2013, 10:30 PM
 
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I didn't read the entire thing but got the gist of it. I really think it depends on the man and how truly comfortable he is with childbirth. I've read so many birth stories where the man was all for birth at home, often even his idea and from the sound of it those men felt truly comfortable and weren't worried at all while their spouse labored. Having said that, although my hubby seems to have accepted my decision of homebirth, he's still quite skittish. He's warming to the idea of catching baby, but still adamantly refuses to cut cord saying he'll pass out. I'm seriously considering having a good friend of mine there more for his support than mine, only because I worry he'll be really nervous when it comes down to it. And I know I can't be worrying about him at that time. I intend on having him in another room for a while to see if I'm able to labor better without him. We'll see I guess :-)
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#5 of 10 Old 10-28-2013, 07:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I agree, it depends on the guy. Some guys can't handle it.  My husband was there for me throughout both labors and one birth.  He missed the birth of our second son because we went to hospital due to supposedly being overdue.  They thought I had hours left and I obviously didn't, since I startd pushing 20 minutes after he left.  It took him about 3 months to start to bond with our second. Huge difference, and i twas hard on both of us.  I would not have it any other way, I need him there, especially when there were medical professionals around, otherwise who knows what they would have tried to pressure me into.  It's very important to have dad committed to natural birth and advocating for his wife, otherwise, he can be a hindrance I think.

 

Now, there were times when I had to tell him to shut up because he kept talking during contractions and asking me questions, and taking me out of that zone.  That hurt his feelings but I couldn't get it across any other way at the time.Or times when I didn't want to be touched when he was trying to comfort me but anything on my skin was beyond irritating.  But he supported me emotionally and physically during the labor, and I can't picture myself doing the whole thing without him.  I would like some time to myself I think though, and we have discussed that I might want him to leave me alone for a bit at times.  I tend to start to feel claustrophobic with so many peole on me constantly or touching me.  I might feel differently now that he and our kids will be the only ones present.  But no way would I have wanted to labor without him in any place other than in an unassisted birth in our own home.

 

I was very upset when he had to go during the hospital birth.  I think both of us struggled with some depression as a result of that for the first few months after the birth.  We thought for sure I had hours to go and he'd be back.  And like I said, he had a hard time bonding with our second, although more than made u pfor it later on.  As far as the impact on intimacy, there may have been some impact for a bit, as he showd up just as I was being stitched up from the tear (due to the purple pushing they insisted I do, and him being a big baby) and he got the full view when he walked in.  Yuck.   LOL  But that's something you work through and forget. If a guy can't stand the most extreme aspects of life with you, then what's the point? He helped make the baby, he should be there, its the least he could do if I have to go through it! LOL

 

I showed him the article last night and he got upset by the title and refused to read it or talk about it.  I can see the point about the distraction and we've talked about that before and I'm not worried about it.  Being at home, I can always tell him to go to another rtoom and leave me a lone for a bit, or go into the bedroom or bathroom and be alone if I want, but I would want him there when the baby is ready to arrive.

 

My husband went out with a vet friend to see cows and other animals birthing prior to the birth f our first child, to ensure that he was ready to deal with whatever comes.  Heven saw a uterine prolapse with one cow, so he was confident he could handle it and he sure did.

 

I doubt the cause of longer labors and interventions are the husbands, its more to do with the hospital environment and not being able to allow those hormones to be releaseed because of it.

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#6 of 10 Old 10-28-2013, 07:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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LOL.  I was a bit surprised by the opiniongiven the OB  Wasn't Michel Odent one of the OB's who strongly advocate natural childbirth? I think he wrote some books.

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#7 of 10 Old 10-28-2013, 08:08 AM
 
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My husband comes from a farm where they had cattle and he saw birth complications with some of the cows. On one hand it hs made him afraid of what could go wrong but I the other he is able to handle the sight of blood and stress around birth no problem.
Going out with a vet is a great idea more people should do that as part preparation, maybe even some women should go with the vet too or maybe not, then they wouldn't have kids at all ? Haha
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#8 of 10 Old 10-28-2013, 08:30 AM
 
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(We don't UC, because of my comfort level, hubby would be fine with it, so...)

 

I appreciate what Michael Odent has done for natural childbirth, but I think he is out to lunch on this one. I agree that for some couples, the husband is going to make things worse, for whatever reason and that they should make that decision for themselves. But to make a blanket statement that all women are better off without their man, yet he is the one in there delivering the baby is ridiculous and offensive at best. There is absolutely no way I could have birthed my six children without the help of my husband and him being right there in my face when things got really tough. Actually it was a really big point of contention with us with my oldest because it was a long labor and he was sleeping a lot of the time.

 

Ask my hubby what he thinks about a man who would divorce his wife because he saw a baby come out of her vagina. :wink

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#9 of 10 Old 10-28-2013, 08:58 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I agree, it is a blanket statement and he is out to lunch.  LOL I can see how it might be true for some. Like my own friend whose husband was never on board with natural childbirth.  She had two c sections, even though she got a midwife the second time.

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#10 of 10 Old 10-28-2013, 09:15 AM
 
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Well, it is Michel odent so that quote probably isn't there.

I agree with a lot of what he wrote. I teach childbirth Ed classes, which are 80% of so for the benefit of telling the dad to chill out and give him some ideas of what to do, because I think that women have a great instinct to do this and guys have no idea but are expend to be there. I think doulas often have the same role.

Some dads rock, and are as good as a doula. Others should sit in a corner, and let the women do their thing. A good firiend's husband sat In a chair playing video games for her 2 labors, which were medically high risk d/t bleeding disorder but in fact totally natural births. Her mom and sister where her people. I think guys should have the freedom to do that, and moms should have the support around that they need. Like, moms should have the choice to labor in whatever position or location that they want, and men should feel the same- even ifthat means in a different room from mom. do it if it works and do something different if it isnt working, and listen to your body- moms and dads. Everyone's different.

One thing about Michel Odent, though, is I feel like he always presents this picture of women as delicate hormonal flowers, and if someone looks at us wrong it will all fall apart. I don't want to understate the importance of a good birth environment, but I also don't want women to think that the only way to birth is in a perfect cocoon. Like, this friend with the video game husband had an IV, continuous monitoring, in a huge teaching hospital, but also had amazing confidence (and sort of the protection that no one wanted to give her an epidural or C/S due to the bleeding disorder). or at home, moms are often getting interuptewd or at least hear in the background their other kids, or the phone rings, or you run out of hot water. You do what you can and have some faith!
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