I'm pregnant with our third child- first one hospital (routine... blah), second one unassisted home birth- all went great! Now that I'm pg again, my new OB (Kaiser) wants to know if I'm planning another UC, and they keep reiterating, 'because we need to know as soon as possible.' Like I'm going to pop the kid out at 12 weeks. I'm wondering now if it is because they will drop me from their care if these are my plans. I just keep saying that I don't know yet, and that I'm going to see how the pregnancy goes- which is true! Really, I can't say until I'm in labor, and see how things go. If I feel that all is well, we'll stay here and have the baby at home. If I feel like I need or want to go to the hospital, I will.
What bothers me is that they keep pressuring me to answer. Should I just say, 'yep, we are going to plan for the hospital' and obviously give them the answer they want, or sit and get lectured each apt for how 'dangerous' home birth is. When I brought up my concerns, they were brushed aside.
I'm honestly sick of standard prenatal care. I think it is a huge waste of time, money, and energy. I'm due for my 16 week apt next month, and am thinking of skipping. Just going to the 20 week ultrasound and leaving it at that. Going to read up on unassisted prenatal care as well!
Thanks for your comments and experiences.
If you feel that you don't have a trusting, open relationship with this practice, then why are you seeing them? From their perspective, you don't trust them. They have to be wondering if you are withholding other information. It must make them feel vulnerable. How can they make good decisions if they don't have the whole picture.
I'm an OOH midwife. If I find myself in a situation where the family is not being truthful then we have a sit down about it. If they can't trust me and I can't trust them, we should not be working together.
You may feel you have a right to care, but they also have a right to run their practice in what they feel is the safest way possible. Potentially, what you are doing could put a lot of other women at risk for not having access to care. If something happens with your pregnancy or the birth and they become involved in a lawsuit because of it, other women will not have that practice available to them. And, if their practice limits the number of women they can provide birth care for each month, then you are taking a space that another woman may need who does plan to deliver with them in hospital.
It is common courtesy to be honest with them, and a sign of maturity that you are willing to own your decision and the outcome of telling them.
I've removed a post that is inappropriately posted to this forum by a member who is not demonstrating a supportive basis for the forum's focus. I hope this helps you, Heather, and the sincere Unassisted Childbirth forum members, feel more comfortable discussing this topic amongst yourselves.