Nervous FTM wanting a UC! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 18 Old 04-01-2014, 12:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi all, I've been browsing the articles and forums here for a while and love all the information I've seen! While it's more than a little late to still be waffling around on where I want to have my baby (I'm around 38 weeks), the idea of a homebirth is hugely appealing to me. Problem is, there's not a midwife within three hours of here, so a UC is my only homebirth option.

 

I'm of the mindset that women don't generally produce babies they can't give birth to, and no matter the setting I'm eager for an all-natural birth free of painkillers and any non-emergency interference (no vag exams, monitoring, etc.). Mentally I think I'm about as prepared as I can get.

 

The only thing that's making me nervous at this point are all the comments on how "huge" my baby is - I'm a rather petite person with a very not-petite belly - and the talk of stuck shoulders and excessive bleeding are starting to get to me. I've read up on methods to try and fix the shoulder problem, and we're maybe 5 minutes from a hospital if an emergency does present itself. Still, people insist that being *in* the hospital to begin with is the only way to guarantee that I'll get help in time. I hate feeling this way, but my trust in my body is beginning to waver. =/

 

Aside from my husband (who's grossed out by birth videos, so I'm not sure how helpful he'll be when I start pushing), I'll have my sister, and her mom-in-law and sis-in-law in attendance. One's a nurse who's attended her own daughter's three UCs, the other has had two very smooth natural births in a hospital. So I'm not entirely devoid of experienced help, but neither of them have had to deal with any serious birthing problems.

 

I know that the absence of fear - or at least the ability to deal with it - is a major aspect of a successful natural birth, wherever it happens. What I can't decide is whether I'm better off staying home and conquering my aforementioned fears, or risk losing momentum by going to the hospital. The idea of having to stop everything, go to an unfamiliar environment and then try to regain my "happy place" while my husband fends off nurses sounds awful. But I know my husband and mom would be greatly relieved if I quit being stubborn and had medical staff nearby.

 

I suppose the biggest issue for all of us is that this is my first baby, and I have no idea how I'll be. Is it irresponsible of me to want to birth my "giant" baby at home without a midwife? Am I risking our safety over something as petty as location? I'm low-risk, and have had a completely uneventful pregnancy, so there's no medical backing to my doubts. I know that my feeling of safety is key to getting through a drug-free birth, and I don't want to lose that by leaving the comforts of my home, but my baby's health is of course much more important.

 

Sorry to type a book, I needed to vent a little and see what peoples' thoughts are on an inexperienced mom having a UC. In my heart I know it's the best way I could possibly have my baby, but I'd never forgive myself if something went wrong.

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#2 of 18 Old 04-01-2014, 12:13 PM
 
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Well first of all congrats on your pregnancy and trusting your body!
Who says your baby is so huge??
Believe me, belly size does not indicate baby size!
I would personally start inserting EPO at night as it will soften your cervix and make stretching much easier and hopefully prevent any tears.
I think you sound educated and prepared as well as supported.

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#3 of 18 Old 04-01-2014, 12:57 PM
 
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I wish I had that much support for my UC wishes! I agree with the pp, baby is big- says who?! I was told my son would be "big" and he was 7lbs 12oz, and I'm pretty sure I only tore because I was flat on my back in a hospital bed.
I've read around these parts that squatting during labor can help get baby in an easier exit path, so I would make friends with gravity smile.gif
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#4 of 18 Old 04-02-2014, 01:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I asked my OB on my last visit if she thought he was big, she said "A little". But that was over two months ago, and we've grown a LOT since then. I'll ask again next week. =)

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I've read around these parts that squatting during labor can help get baby in an easier exit path, so I would make friends with gravity smile.gif

 

Yup, squatting can increase the size of the pelvic outlet by a whole extra centimeter! I'll definitely try it during pushing, hopefully it's not too tiring. I haven't really found a good place in my house to hold onto for that position so someone might have to help prop me up.

 

I had to look up what EPO was, haha. I'll see if I can't find some, thanks for that! Never heard of it before. Is there a sticky someplace that lists common acronyms around here? I see lots of things I can't translate while browsing threads.

 

Thanks for the kind words, I feel a bit better already. ^.^

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#5 of 18 Old 04-02-2014, 02:06 PM
 
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Ultrasounds are inaccurate, and a big belly doesn't necessarily indicate a big baby. No one really knows how big a baby is until it is out.
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#6 of 18 Old 04-02-2014, 02:35 PM
 
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I'm sorry for using an abbreviation. You can always ask if someone throws one out and you don't know what it means. smile.gif I got my EPO at walmart. I'm sure its not the cream of the crop but it still works just fine.

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#7 of 18 Old 04-04-2014, 12:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Unfortunately my Walmart doesn't have EPO, bummer. Guess I'll order some off Amazon, there's not a lot of places to shop for vitamins around here.

 

I didn't think there was supposed to be any way to accurately measure an unborn baby, though my OB or the tech always says "He's about X inches long!" after taking some measurements. My stepson was supposedly "too big" and ended up being delivered via C-section (after the typical hospital cascade of interventions), and everyone was so surprised that he was just over 8lbs. That was only six years ago, I didn't figure the technology had advanced that quickly, but you never know. =)

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#8 of 18 Old 04-04-2014, 06:41 PM
 
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As good as ultrasounds can be at detecting certain things, size of the baby in the later weeks of pregnancy is not one of them. I wouldn't fret too much over it. Just try really hard to eat lots of protein and whole foods.

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#9 of 18 Old 04-05-2014, 11:52 AM
 
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Hi, Ellie, and congratulations on your pregnancy! I've sent you a PM (private message).

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#10 of 18 Old 04-08-2014, 12:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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As good as ultrasounds can be at detecting certain things, size of the baby in the later weeks of pregnancy is not one of them. I wouldn't fret too much over it. Just try really hard to eat lots of protein and whole foods.

Oh, I don't have to try really hard to eat anything. That and sleeping are my areas of expertise right now. =)

 

I'm liking my OB less and less, though not enough to find a new one with only a week or two to go. (I'm not worried much about her influence if I do go to the hospital; I've already gotten pretty good at telling her "no".) I hadn't made an appointment in several weeks; I've felt great and baby never showed any signs that he was less than perfect. She gave me nine kinds of hell for not getting "adequate care" and said I was lucky that nothing horrible had happened. Sonogram showed that everything was perfect, as usual. It almost felt like she was upset that I was doing fine without her help.

 

She informed me that I'd be induced at 41 weeks if I hadn't delivered by then. When I asked why, she said "It's just what I do. Babies die after 41 weeks." I said I wouldn't agree to an induction without good cause, and "still pregnant" wasn't one, especially since the post-term phase doesn't begin until week 42. That didn't make her very happy. My only guess is that it's just a liability thing, maybe if I promise not to sue her she'll calm down. >.>

 

Something else she said that sounded odd was that there's absolutely no purpose for babies to remain in the womb after 41 weeks. I thought that was pretty presumptuous. How does she know what each baby needs? Plenty of healthy babies are born after they're "due", who's to say that that extra time did them no good? She's definitely convincing me that minimal prenatal care for kid #2 might be the way to go, if my next pregnancy is as smooth as this one.

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#11 of 18 Old 04-08-2014, 02:39 PM
 
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Something else she said that sounded odd was that there's absolutely no purpose for babies to remain in the womb after 41 weeks. I thought that was pretty presumptuous. How does she know what each baby needs? Plenty of healthy babies are born after they're "due", who's to say that that extra time did them no good? She's definitely convincing me that minimal prenatal care for kid #2 might be the way to go, if my next pregnancy is as smooth as this one.

It doesn't sound like your relationship with the OB is so good, and I certainly understand why.

However, I think I have to reluctantly agree with her on this one. I used to think the exact same thing as you, but then I did some research. It turns out that as long as your dates are accurate, there really is not much benefit in going over 41 weeks, and going over 42 weeks is actually pretty dangerous.

I've read about a few problems that can develop late in pregnancy, but the biggest thing that can go wrong is that your placenta can just stop working. I know we all want to think that our body and baby will know when it's time to go into labor, but sometimes it just doesn't work that way and a healthy baby ends up suffering or even dying when it would have been a lot happier being born a week early. I really don't want to scare you with the details, but there was just a widely publicized case where that happened.

I also am pretty sure that I read somewhere that you actually have a better chance of delivering vaginally and avoiding a c-section if you induce at that point than if you wait. Can't find that article right now, but I'll look around for it later.

I'm not saying that your OB is right about everything, but I think she's right about this.

Sorry if this was a little scare-mongery. I think UCs are great, but I've gotten a little less radical over the years about avoiding interventions in every case.

Good luck making the decision that's right for YOU!
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#12 of 18 Old 04-10-2014, 01:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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However, I think I have to reluctantly agree with her on this one. I used to think the exact same thing as you, but then I did some research. It turns out that as long as your dates are accurate, there really is not much benefit in going over 41 weeks, and going over 42 weeks is actually pretty dangerous.

That's my worry though; while this is a planned pregnancy, I don't know for sure when my last period was, so my "due date" might easily be a week or two off. While I'm definitely VERY pregnant and the arrival of my baby is probably imminent, I don't want to have an induction and then find out he might not have been quite ready.

 

Also, "normal" human gestation can vary in length by over a month. Some babies are done baking around 38 weeks, others in their 42nd week.

 

I'd rather wait until the supposed 42nd week before considering induction, as long as everything's still ok up to that point. Forced contractions are almost guaranteed to ruin my natural birth desires completely, since they're usually extra-painful, and the whole reason I want a natural birth is to avoid drugging up my baby.

 

If I do get to the point where I consent to being induced, I'll request a half-dose of Pit given at intervals rather than in a steady drip, so that once contractions have started I can refuse another dose. Fingers and toes are crossed that I'll go into labor in the next ten days so I don't have to argue with my OB about it anymore.

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#13 of 18 Old 04-10-2014, 03:13 PM
 
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Pitocin is evil!!! I would try every natural induction method before resorting to pitocin. I had 3 inductions, its just not natural, at all.
I'm wishing you a natural, healthy, satisfying homebirth and soon!

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#14 of 18 Old 04-11-2014, 11:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Pitocin is evil!!! I would try every natural induction method before resorting to pitocin. I had 3 inductions, its just not natural, at all.
I'm wishing you a natural, healthy, satisfying homebirth and soon!

Thanks very much! ^.^ While I haven't experienced Pitocin myself, from what I've read and heard I'm inclined to agree that it's one of those things that shouldn't be considered unless all else has failed.

 

I did finally get some 1000mg EPO capsules, it may be too late for them to do much good but I'm inserting a couple at night anyway. I'm not bothering taking them orally since it sounds like they take several weeks to be effective that way. Baby has dropped, resulting in a very flat bladder and the pregnancy-waddle I've managed to avoid until now. I know it doesn't necessarily mean he'll be arriving soon, but I'm still excited!  =)

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#15 of 18 Old 04-11-2014, 02:35 PM
 
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Look at indiebirth.com!!
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#16 of 18 Old 04-12-2014, 12:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks, there's a lot of interesting articles on that site! =)

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#17 of 18 Old 04-12-2014, 12:04 PM
 
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Their course "how to have an indie birth" is so worth taking!! I am halfway through right now and have learned so much. This is the best prep I know of! I would give so much to have heard it before my first birth. We would totally have had the courage and knowledge to do an unassisted birth that time - we so wish we had!!
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#18 of 18 Old 04-19-2014, 09:07 PM
 
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OP, please update us and let us know how your UC goes.

bfinfant.gif  Breastfeeding, non-vaxing, homeschooling, baby wearing, cosleeping, non-cic'ing mama to CJsuperhero.gifAGdust.gifJJnono02.gifSDbabyboy.gif  And married my highschool sweetheart lovestory.gif

And expecting #5 in Nov. 2014 heartbeat.gif
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