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Old 09-16-2014, 07:59 AM - Thread Starter
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Men and childbirth

How do you feel about men attending childbirth? As a coach/support person/because "it's his baby too", or for any other reason... Do you want them there? Does it help or hinder? What do you think their roll should be during labor, birth and early parenting?
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Old 09-17-2014, 11:16 PM
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I personally am a very hands off type of person and my husband is not one that wants to be involved in the delivery (such as catch the baby or cut the cord). So it works well for us for the most part. I think every couple is different. Honestly, with me, every pregnancy has been different. With my first (hospital birth), I didn't want him in the room and he didn't want to be....but his co-workers convinced him that it was best for him to be. I told him he had to stay up by my head. I think him seeing what I went through was a revelation to him and actually brought us closer and he respected me as a mother more for it. I will say he had to leave a couple of times because it was too intense for him. With my second (birthing center birth) he and my daughter were watching from the other room (about 10 feet away). I didn't feel comfortable with that (although it didn't seem to bother him...he could have been somewhere else where he couldn't see. It seemed like he wanted to watch...which was a surprise. But since it was the business end facing him, I didn't care for him to see that, so I told the midwife to shut the door. Since he was born in 5 minutes, they didn't ever get around to shutting the door I don't believe....and if they did he had already gotten an eye full at that point.
With my 3rd (first uc), I didn't want anyone there for the most part. So I had him out playing with the kids and called him in once the baby was born. With my next uc, he came in the bedroom and intended on hanging out on the bed, but I quickly kicked him out. So he watched the kids in the other room and I called him in once the baby was born. With my last uc, the pool was in the living room, so it was kind of a given that he would be there unless I banished him to the bedroom. This time it didn't bother me as much. He played on the computer most of the time and only did something if I asked. Honestly, I kind of enjoyed his company. And for the first time, I called him over to help me (support me physically) while I delivered the baby. It was a bonding experience. I am not sure what I am going to do with this uc... I will plan to be more alone, but I could change my mind...who knows =S
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Old 09-18-2014, 01:39 PM
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Blessed One I agree every labour and birth is different. I love having my husband around and he wants to be there too. I had my three in the hospital so understandably I wanted him as a support but I made him promise to support my decisions rather than dr's if it came to decisions.
My first two he applied pelvic pressure to my back and that was awesome but my third I was just "don't you dare touch me" it was painful if he did. But even handing me water and telling me how far out baby is was really encouraging.
This time around since I am considering uc I would rather do it all alone and just have him in the next room or something. That's how I feel but we'll see.
Educating him about it will be hard because reading about complications and resolutions to them just gets him panicky, I can't have a fearful person at my birth.
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Old 09-23-2014, 12:33 PM
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I didn't mind being alone for the beginning of labor, with my husband bringing me something to drink and just checking on me once in a while (or sleeping during the night hours). But for the actual birth I wanted him there- partly because 'it is his baby'. Also, because I get really shaky during transition so having him hold me helped feel like I wasn't falling apart, and I'm the type of person who needs a hand to squeeze while pushing. And I enjoyed him being the first to know if the babe was a boy or girl. If/When we have another I'd expect it to go the same, but who knows.

Homeschooling,mom to DS1 ('02) , DS2 ('03) , and DD1 ('14) . Now living in a very cold place
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