UC Support Thread #12 -- December 2004 - Page 5 - Mothering Forums
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#121 of 192 Old 12-21-2004, 03:36 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ChildoftheMoon
Is anyone who is a part of the cbirth yahoo group experiencing trouble with it?
I did not receive a daily digest today so I went to check it out and the group is no longer listed in my groups. I did a search and clicked on cbirth and it says it does not exist. Did something happen to the group, or am I the only one experiencing problems?
Thanks!
Brandi

Oooh Brandi. I just tried to log in also- it says no such group called CBirth.
:

I just emailed the owner- and the email was returned.

Mama to 5 babies. UCer, too!
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#122 of 192 Old 12-21-2004, 03:45 PM
 
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Jeanette! -- how funny, I was *just* wondering about you, and did a search to see if you were still posting at MDC and first thing your post on this thread pops up! Must be a sign.

So what were the circumstances surrounding your hemorrhage?

Amy, I feel the same way. I have to keep repeating to myself, we cannot afford another baby, we cannot afford another baby, we cannot afford another baby...
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#123 of 192 Old 12-21-2004, 03:46 PM
 
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Weird. Hopefully it is just a technical problem that gets sorted out soon.
Thanks for checking too!
Brandi

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#124 of 192 Old 12-22-2004, 01:31 AM
 
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Blueviolet -
A sign indeed I went back to the PM I sent you months back several times to try and formulate a reply that would somehow explain my thought process on all this, and I could never get out anything coherent. I really hope it is okay for me to post here - because I really want to soak up some of the wisdom and trust in this thread (please, please, pretty please).

The circumstances of my hemorrhage......well - I was unable to urinate for most of my labour (I'm talking hours and hours and hours). The midwives didn't really do anything (intervention or assistance wise) to encourage/make me pee - but it was mentioned several times through the labour as something that contributed to the course of events. I ended up with a swollen cervical lip that delayed progress for a few hours; at the time midwife said it might have been my distended bladder. I pushed for 2+ hours, and although that is not really a long time, my MW told me last week she believes that my second stage would have been much faster if my bladder had been empty, and then I hemorrhaged, also likely due to my bladder (I ended up with two shots of pit, methergine, "massage" hard enough to leave me bruised and with my abdomen swollen like I was six months pregnant again, and a catheter to empty my bladder - which hurt for months after everything else had healed). It was all handled very professionally and calmly - and so at the time (and for most of the three years since) I figured I didn't have anything to work though, no trauma, no lingering affects. Surprise

Other factors that make me antsy about third stage: I have a septate uterus, which can lead to bleeding if the placental attachment site overlays the septum (low or no musculature to help it clamp down). No idea if this was the case, but I doubt it, as an early ultrasound for bleeding had noted a low-lying placenta - but still, it's there in my mind, and I am sure, in my husbands mind as well.

Psychologically - I'm very affected by one factor, and this may be the hugest thing that lead me away from my former MW. My third stage started fairly soon after Bella was born, cord was not cut; we were still loving each other in the birth pool. When I looked between my legs and noticed my placenta was partially out of my body, my MW had me hold it in - said it was not safe to deliver placenta in water (risk of water embolism - which I now know is a theoretical but never documented risk and that most caregivers allow third stage in water). Anyway, I held my placenta in while the cord was clamped and cut, MW dried and wrapped up Bella, transferred her to DH and then helped me out of the pool. It fell out as soon as I stood up, and then the hemorrhage started soon afterwards. I know now that the act of interfering with the timing of the third stage, with stopping it from happening, with HOLDING my placenta inside my body when it wanted to come out and then experiencing the hemorrhage and all accompanying interventions had great effect on me inside. I get really tense when I read or watch birth stories/videos and there is ANY interference during the third stage. I want whoever is with me to be totally hands off at this point, and I worry that I'll hold back from this part because of my experience last time.

The MW I thought we were going to work with this time summed things up like this...."You don't trust midwives, and I am one. You don't trust unassisted birth, so you are settling for a midwife". Hard to hear - but possibly true?

Gosh - are you sure you want me in this thread - I've got issues Where do I go from here?

Jeanette
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#125 of 192 Old 12-22-2004, 10:40 AM
 
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Jeanette, I think its great for you to post here

Stacey
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#126 of 192 Old 12-22-2004, 01:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Jeanette, I agree that you absolutely belong here! I doubt there is one mama among us who hasn't experienced some sort of doubt at some point. Welcome!

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#127 of 192 Old 12-22-2004, 02:37 PM
 
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jeanette~everyone here, i believe, has had some sort of issue or doubt in their UC, that's why it's called the UC "support" thread. Sounds like your first birth could have been a lot simpler if you were allowed to do what your body wanted. .. like going pee when you felt the urge, and birthing your placenta when it wanted to be birthed. there are a lot of good "home remedies" for hemorrage... motherwort tincture, taking a few bites of that placenta... and there is probably some homeopathy for hemmorage as well.

you will probably get many more helpful replies, so I'll leave it at that.
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#128 of 192 Old 12-22-2004, 04:00 PM
 
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Jeanette, for now I'm going to just put in a brief word about the importance of not disturbing the hormonal process -- there may have been other things going on there, but I think this is one of the first things you should look at in depth. If the mother is disturbed in any way -- lights, conversation, direction, inhibition, clinical touch, the feeling of being observed, etc. -- her hormones will not be released in the right amounts and at the right times. This is a neocortex/primal brain conflict -- hormones are regulated by the primal brain, so anything that stimulates the neocortex interferes with that. Okay, you probably know all that already. But it bears a reminder, I think, that it's as important during third stage as in any other part of the labor. Michel Odent writes that ideally,
Quote:
Immediately after the birth of the baby the main preoccupation of such midwives is the release by the mother of a high peak of oxytocin because it is necessary for safe delivery of the placenta and is the hormone of love.

They first make sure the room is warm enough. During the third stage women never complain that it is too hot. If they are shivering, it means the place is not warm enough. In the case of a homebirth, the only important tool to prepare is a transportable heater that can be plugged in any place and at any time and can be used to warm blankets or towels. Their other goal is to make sure the mother is not distracted at all while looking at the baby’s eyes and feeling contact with the baby’s skin. There are countless avoidable ways of distracting mother and baby at that stage. The mother can be distracted because she feels observed or guided, because somebody is talking, because the birth attendant wants to cut the cord before the delivery of the placenta, because the telephone rings, or because a light is suddenly switched on, etc. At that stage, after a birth in physiological conditions, the mother is still in a particular state of consciousness, as if "on another planet." Her neocortex is still more or less at rest. The watchword should be, "Don’t wake up the mother!"
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#129 of 192 Old 12-23-2004, 01:46 AM
 
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Originally Posted by amyjeans
Oooh Brandi. I just tried to log in also- it says no such group called CBirth.
:

I just emailed the owner- and the email was returned.
There's a discussion going on at the UC LJ community here : http://www.livejournal.com/community...th/128872.html

Hope that helps a bit.
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#130 of 192 Old 12-23-2004, 02:14 AM
 
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Thanks so much for the welcome - it feels so good to know I have somewhere to come to help me sort out all my feelings.

Mamajaza:
Quote:
Sounds like your first birth could have been a lot simpler if you were allowed to do what your body wanted. .. like going pee when you felt the urge, and birthing your placenta when it wanted to be birthed.
You know - I guess it is impossible to say if it would have changed anything, but I think that at least I wouldn't have had all these questions and these lingering issues. Regarding the pee though - the problem was that I didn't have the urge (I think I said in my birth story - after peeing every ten seconds for nine months, this didn't seem so bad at the time)

Blueviolet:
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, you really seem to have a way of getting to the bottom of things. I wish I could remember when the inability to pee started - I think it was before the midwives arrived, but I went through a stressful period when DH was gone for several hours to bring my family to a hotel - perhaps even that was enough to upset the balance, and things just continued from there. You know - until I read that, I never really considered that part of my inabilty to pee might simply have been the presence of observers (even if they weren't in the room, I suppose knowing someone is waiting for a report on your bladder activities is enough).

Re: third stage - now that I think of it, the overhead lights were turned on in the room as the sun went down, and they were on full force during the hemmorage. So many factors to consider (in my birth visualizations, it is always dark).

Keep coming up with your thoughts and questions, it is not so much that I WANT to pick apart my entire birth experience (link is in my first post here, in case you want to read the entire LONG thing) but I think at this point I almost HAVE to try and look at it through different eyes, to really understand where all my feelings are coming from.

Thanks again
Jeanette
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#131 of 192 Old 12-23-2004, 01:28 PM
 
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jeannette... sorry, I didn't read your birth story, so I assumed that you were'nt allowed to go pee.

I was thinking about the idea that if the third stage is disturbed, then that's when you are more likely to hemmorhage, and I realize that's probably why I started bleeding while I was sitting there in bliss in the bathtub after giving birth. My mom ( who was awesome the whole time, never had doubts that I could do it, so I hate to b*tch about it) said "it's a girl!", and mentioned that maybe she wanted to nurse. It's like "wake up! The baby needs you " .As soon as she said those things, or right after, the tub started filling with blood (which looks like alot while your in the water). So I took a few dropperfuls of motherwort tincture, and was fine. But maybe I know why I started to bleed so much.

anyways.
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#132 of 192 Old 12-23-2004, 02:15 PM
 
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MamaGaia, that link doesn't work. Here's another one at LJ, with links to a couple of temporary CBirth groups: http://www.livejournal.com/community...th/128605.html
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#133 of 192 Old 12-23-2004, 02:23 PM
 
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Mamajaza,
It's okay, easy mistake!

Very interesting to read about your experience. I'm really going to have to go back and watch my birth video again, but it seems like there was a LOT of activity right after the birth, lots of "talk to your baby", "rub your baby", and the midwives checking heart rates, pouring water on her, things like that (which of course, is part of the job I hired them for). It is funny how I never gave thought to those things before coming here - just took them as part of the deal (much like a hospital birther accepts the intervetions/interuptions that are part of that package, I suppose). If nothing else, I know that being a part of this thread is going to give me so much food for thought, and a totally different perspective on what happened last time, and on what I'd like to happen this time.

Thanks mamas
Jeanette
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#134 of 192 Old 12-23-2004, 02:35 PM
 
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DH casually told me yesterday that maybe I should "see a dr.". I am 7 weeks pg and totally set on having a UP if all goes well. I don't understand what his concern is exactly and he doesn't seem to know either (he told me just to see if everything is ok). I guess he means an US but I am not planning one. I told him unless I'm bleeding or need a dr. we are not seeing dr. I will be a VBAC though and was recently telling him about uterine rupture, I think it scared him a bit with that.

so right now I think he is getting cold feet. how do I deal with this? has anyone out there been through this with your SO/DH? What did you do to make them feel more at ease?

Blissful Mama to DD-(5), DS-(6) and someone new due in November!
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#135 of 192 Old 12-24-2004, 03:52 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbowmoon
DH casually told me yesterday that maybe I should "see a dr.". I am 7 weeks pg and totally set on having a UP if all goes well. I don't understand what his concern is exactly and he doesn't seem to know either (he told me just to see if everything is ok). I guess he means an US but I am not planning one. I told him unless I'm bleeding or need a dr. we are not seeing dr. I will be a VBAC though and was recently telling him about uterine rupture, I think it scared him a bit with that.

so right now I think he is getting cold feet. how do I deal with this? has anyone out there been through this with your SO/DH? What did you do to make them feel more at ease?

Mine is very pro-UP/UC and but I've had a couple of really big weight gain jumps that are causing him to be a bit concerned and he mentioned that he would like me to make an appointment to see the midwife. His concern is that it's twins again and basically, he just wants to be prepared if it is because that kind of makes it a bit of a different ball game.

I guess all the advice I can offer is to provide him with as much positive info that you can find, articles that debunk the fear tactics,etc. and just lots of affirmation that everything will be fine and that you (and your body) knows what it's doing


Oh...btw....Mine will also be a VBAC (my 3rd...wait...no,4th,i guess technically) and last week, I suddenly had a panic with thought of uterine rupture and dh was the one to tell me how ridiculous I was being LOL (where everyone else was of course feeding into my fear.grrrr)
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#136 of 192 Old 12-24-2004, 03:53 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blueviolet
MamaGaia, that link doesn't work. Here's another one at LJ, with links to a couple of temporary CBirth groups: http://www.livejournal.com/community...th/128605.html
yeah, that thread was deleted after I posted the link...but it was in the same community
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#137 of 192 Old 12-24-2004, 10:16 AM
 
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Just wanted to come here and wish everyone a very happy season!!!!
And to share with you our wonderful news.......................

We are expecting a new little one to join us the end of August!
I am so happy and excited. It feels so right and good and strong.
Love to you,
Brandi

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#138 of 192 Old 12-24-2004, 12:03 PM
 
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Thanks for the advice Rebecca. I do think I freaked him out about by telling him about uterine rupture but I wanted him to be aware of it.

we are going to get some UC videos soon though so I hope he can understand a bit better of what I want for this birth. (The only one's he's seen are highly medicalized)

anyone know where I might dig up some articles about UP?

Blissful Mama to DD-(5), DS-(6) and someone new due in November!
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#139 of 192 Old 12-24-2004, 03:47 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChildoftheMoon
Just wanted to come here and wish everyone a very happy season!!!!
And to share with you our wonderful news.......................

We are expecting a new little one to join us the end of August!
I am so happy and excited. It feels so right and good and strong.
Love to you,
Brandi
Brandi, I am so happy for you! : : :binky :girlpin :boypin

I will be ttc the end of August hopefully, so maybe your birth and my conception will be a passing of the torch so to speak.

Enjoy your pregnancy and I hope to see a lot of you on this thread.

Evergreen- Loving my girls Dylan dust.gifage8, Ava energy.gifage 4 and baby Georgia baby.gif (6/3/11).

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#140 of 192 Old 12-24-2004, 08:21 PM
 
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nak

Brandi,

I am overjoyed to hear your news!!! What a great Christmas present

Amy
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#141 of 192 Old 12-25-2004, 04:33 PM
 
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Brandi, I am thrilled for you!

Re: CBirth, there are no answers yet (to be made public, anyway,) but a new group has been set up here: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/c-birth/, and as high-volume ever, even with it reduced to 100 members, I still can't keep up, lol!
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#142 of 192 Old 12-25-2004, 11:20 PM
 
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Thank you mamas! And, yes, I will be on this thread a lot more now.
Brandi

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#143 of 192 Old 12-26-2004, 12:21 AM
 
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Just wanted to let all you wonderful people here know that Naomi was born, a midwife-assisted home waterbirth. The story is here for anyone interested .

Mama, homeschooler, midwife. DD (13yo), DS (11yo), DD (8yo), DD (3yo), somebody new coming in November 2013.

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#144 of 192 Old 12-26-2004, 12:39 AM
 
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Beautiful Niki! What a peaceful birth. Happy babymoon to you!
Love, Brandi

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#145 of 192 Old 12-26-2004, 04:30 PM
 
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Great story Nicki!

Congrats Brandi!

Christmas is over, now I can concentrate on getting ready for Peyton's arrival We co-sleep so I don't need any baby furniture. I have the carseats already. I need a few more newborn and small diapers. But mostly I have an urge to splurge on a good stroller. Not really sure why because my babies are always in the sling or trekker. Anybody else feel the need to buy something they don't really need?

Stacey
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#146 of 192 Old 12-26-2004, 05:36 PM
 
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congrats to both Brandi & Niki!

Blissful Mama to DD-(5), DS-(6) and someone new due in November!
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#147 of 192 Old 12-26-2004, 10:32 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JeanetteL
I'm really going to have to go back and watch my birth video again, but it seems like there was a LOT of activity right after the birth, lots of "talk to your baby", "rub your baby", and the midwives checking heart rates, pouring water on her, things like that (which of course, is part of the job I hired them for).
Michelle Odent is a friend of a midwife who lives south of here she has known him for over 20 years, several years ago she had him come and talk with us, because it is a small community and I guess because it was too far for midwives from Phoenix to drive down we had a very small gathering with him. He was talking about maternal hemorrhage and bonding behavior and the negative effect of distractions. Because of my own birth experiences I like to be quiet at births and I usually wait to listen to a baby with a stethoscope until later unless a baby doesn't look well. but if mom is being distracted I will say something about the baby, so she will stay tuned in.
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#148 of 192 Old 12-26-2004, 11:13 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbowmoon
DH casually told me yesterday that maybe I should "see a dr.". I am 7 weeks pg and totally set on having a UP if all goes well. I don't understand what his concern is exactly and he doesn't seem to know either (he told me just to see if everything is ok). I guess he means an US but I am not planning one. I told him unless I'm bleeding or need a dr. we are not seeing dr. I will be a VBAC though and was recently telling him about uterine rupture, I think it scared him a bit with that.

so right now I think he is getting cold feet. how do I deal with this? has anyone out there been through this with your SO/DH? What did you do to make them feel more at ease?
I haven't had a vbac, but have had 4 babies including 1 uc and my dh has had all sort of worries especially when we were young. About everything from breastfeeding, co-sleeping, attachment parenting, birth setting, gentle discipline ... my best defense was to always be informed as best I can myself. The biggest thing to overcome was me learning something new at the same time I had to inform him. So I know to not share the most controversial bits of info with dh until I have worked out my stuff first- because I am the one dedicated to certain things and he will only gloss the subjects. Since you have broached the subject of rupture- eeek I don't know how you are easily going to appease him, he is going to know less than you and is healthily thinking of you and protecting you. you may want to explore having a visit with someone who is supportive of vbac, that will quickly assure him of you health. This will probably give you some time to work on building up more info before birth. What else would keep his fear level down assure him you are alright and well and get him to consider your view? It also sounds like you need some friends to process with so you can work out your own concerns before you tip the apple cart with dh.
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#149 of 192 Old 12-27-2004, 12:12 AM
 
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Oh, Niki, I'm so happy for you Much congratulations and it sounds like an awesome birth

Welcome Naomi
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#150 of 192 Old 12-27-2004, 01:12 AM
 
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MWHerbs,
How wonderful to have the opportunity to have an intimate gathering with Michel Odent - that must have been fabulous. I'd love to hear more about what he said, and about your experiences with distractions/hemmorage.

Jeanette
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