UC support thread #13, January 05' - Page 5 - Mothering Forums
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#121 of 177 Old 01-23-2005, 12:00 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sprinkle pocket
i'm wondering if it would be helpful, even if it's not used, to have someone who's birthed, much less uc'd to call and say "am i ok?!", or to know that if you needed to call them, you could? i'm trying to heed the advice and prepare for the intensity that people say cause 1st timers to transfer. my uc-supportive mw friend, said that 2 mw's she knows planned to freebirth and both transferred b/c they weren't prepared for the intensity. she offerred this advice: dh should be prepared that if you get to the point that you just don't think you can do it (she tried to avoid using the word 'transition' and said some women don't experience it) and it's just too much, that dh should say, "good! that means the baby is almost here! you're doing great!
I am always happy to help in any way I can. But I will say that it is really, really hard to support someone over the phone. A friend of mine (this was her first baby, planned to be UC) had her husband call me when she was probably in transition (they didn't know that at the time, though.) Everything had been going smoothly and she sounded GREAT to me over the phone. I told him that and that I thought she was close. Well, shortly after he got off the phone with me she said she wanted didn't think she could do it for much longer and was afraid she still had hours to go. Well, the baby was born two hours later in the hospital. (No complications, but they gave her an episiotomy. ) In retrospect, of course, she could see that she could have and should have stayed at home. (Happily, their second birth went according to plan and was a UC.)

Anyway, I agree with the advice sprinkle pocket's friend gave. If it is just that it is really intense and you are just feeling like you can't go on, then it's probably almost over! It is so, so common for women to feel like this in transition. I felt that way too. At the end of my third birth (1st UC) I was wailing about how I couldn't do it anymore and Scott said, "you know, it was just like this last time and the baby was born soon after." He meant I was acting the same way. And, he was right. Once I got to the really hard part where I thought I just couldn't go on, it wasn't more than an hour until she was born. Same thing with my fourth, and we both said similar things at the end. Me expressing doubt and a desire to give up and have someone else take care of it, and him telling me that it was so familiar and he was sure it was almost over. And it was.
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#122 of 177 Old 01-23-2005, 08:34 PM
 
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My daughter, Ribh (pronounced "Reeve") was born in front of the kitchen sink at 4 this morning. Her papa "caught" her and gently unwound the cord from her neck as she leaped into the world. She never cried a peep and was nursing within 5 minutes of birth (after her first adjustment of course). I cannot imagine anyone else there for this intense and private second UC for my family. I was suprised by the intensity and length of labor (2 hours of actively intense labor...poor me. LOL) and was more emotional and frustrated than previous births...but the journey was what it was supposed to be. We are well and *recovering* by being unable to sleep (just me) due to very intense after pains. Ahh well. My body is still doing its job.

Full story to come soon.

Mar
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#123 of 177 Old 01-23-2005, 08:50 PM
 
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yea mar!! sounds like you did a beautiful job. i can't wait to read your birth story and see pictures of your new little one. ahhh, congrats, mama.

ribh

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#124 of 177 Old 01-23-2005, 09:22 PM
 
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Congrats Mar!!!!

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#125 of 177 Old 01-23-2005, 10:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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congratulations Mar! Welcome baby, and a happy baby moon to you and your family!
Brandi

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#126 of 177 Old 01-23-2005, 10:35 PM
 
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Congratulations Mar!

Mama to 5 babies. UCer, too!
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#127 of 177 Old 01-23-2005, 10:42 PM
 
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Hurray!!!! Congratulations!

So, what is the story behind the name?
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#128 of 177 Old 01-24-2005, 01:49 AM
 
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yay mar!


fwiw i had awful afterpains too.
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#129 of 177 Old 01-24-2005, 11:02 AM
 
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Yay, Mar!!! Welcome to the world, little Ribh! Wow, 2 hours of labor -- I've heard many times that very short labors are also very intense labors. Looking forward to your birth story (in your own time!). I do hope your afterpains have subsided or will very soon. Congratulations again, I'm SO happy for you!!!




Sprinkle -- thanks for asking about me. I'm doing very well, actually. I woke up in the middle of the night early Saturday morning thinking there was so much I had left to do and "what if baby comes this weekend." So dh and I ran a whole bunch of errands and got our last minute preparations done, and now I'm feeling much calmer and more patient. I can definitely feel my body changing and preparing. I'm feeling more and more ready to meet my baby, but also at the same time I'm relishing the last few weeks of pregnancy. I figure I'm only pregnant "for the first time" once, and it's so special that I want to enjoy every precious moment.

Linda -- thanks for your feedback. I'm feeling less fearful now. Dh and I had our "last minute prep" talk, and the fact that he is so supportive and believes in this (finally) as much as I do, gives me a lot of confidence and faith.

Stacey -- thanks so much for your reply to my cord question. It really does speak to me, and I'm happy to rule out other procedures that may not be necessary. Hope you're doing well and your precious babe is in your arms soon.

Mama2Lennon -- thinking of you....

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#130 of 177 Old 01-24-2005, 02:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh Kate! I am getting so excited for you! You will be meeting your sweet babe so soon! Sending you gentle and joyful birthing vibes for when the time comes.
Brandi

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#131 of 177 Old 01-24-2005, 03:39 PM
 
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Thank you, Brandi! That means so much to me!

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#132 of 177 Old 01-24-2005, 09:51 PM
 
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Okay, so I have a question I'm sort of embarassed to ask : because I'm sure I read it in some of my material...but I can't remember.
Is it best to cut the cord AFTER the placenta has been delivered? Obviously, I understand that sometimes it can take a long time to deliver the placenta and every situation is different. But as a general rule is it best to deliver it and then cut the cord? What do you do with your babe while your delivering the placenta?

I was doing a birth visualization today...and realized I got stuck on this detail.
Thanks, mamas.

Mar -- hope you and baby daughter are doing well and enjoying your baby moon.

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#133 of 177 Old 01-24-2005, 10:25 PM
 
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Mar--I'm so excited for you!!! Congratulations : and Welcome Ribh!! :

Kate-
If the placenta is still attached to your uterine wall, it is still supplying oxygen. I birthed the placenta, and then waited another hr or two to cut the cord. *I* wouldn't cut the cord w/the placenta still attached, unless I had some really stubborn placenta in there that wanted to hang on for 5 or 6 hrs or so. And then it would just be awkward :LOL

And I recommend asking the baby's permission before you cut the cord--I just wanted Owen's permission

Amy
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#134 of 177 Old 01-25-2005, 12:40 PM
 
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LOL I tend to forget that Rory isnt commonly used as a girls name and with so many "oh wow you have 4 boys" comments i htought it would help

On that note my older sons school gave the family some very nice gifts for Christmas and even tho I had marked Rory as a girl she still got al lboys items. At least they fit her brother so nothing went to waste

Quote:
Originally Posted by blueviolet
LOL, Jennie, I just noticed you put Rory's name in pink. Cute. (Although I suspect it was because you were tired of people asking whether she was a boy or girl? :LOL)

Brandi, I can't believe it! Woo-hoo!
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#135 of 177 Old 01-25-2005, 02:53 PM
 
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Kate, generally speaking it's best to wait until after the placenta has come out to cut the cord. What you're really waiting for is the placenta to detach fully, and the baby to get all s/he is going to get from it. For my two UCs I cut the cord before the placenta came out, but the cord was cold and limp and I felt certain it had already detached.
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#136 of 177 Old 01-25-2005, 03:02 PM
 
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Congrats Mar!!! Welcome earthside baby Ribh
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#137 of 177 Old 01-25-2005, 03:06 PM
 
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Kate
With Rory I waited until the cord was limp and white. I had wanted to wait much longer but she had a short cord and it was difficult to hold/nurse her while attached to the placenta. I was getting very uncomfortable waiting for it to birthand so we snipped. I cut it long and then waited to trim it short. It took another hr or so before the placenta finally birthed.

This time i am going to wait a few hours even after the placenta has birthed. I would like to make sure the babe has all it needs from it before seperating them.

And did i happen to mention my plans have changed again LOL i knew I would prbably change my feelings on what I want. And what I want is a nice quiet dimmly lit room to labor and birth in. i just went and bout a brand new bedroom set and its almost exactly as the one in my birth dream the baby sent me. All i have left are to get some wonderful candles or even these birth lamps I found recently on a websearch for a bellycast. So no party for me and the midwives will be called once I am in transition so they are at least notified but have no chance of making it for the birth.
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#138 of 177 Old 01-25-2005, 05:32 PM
 
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Hello everyone -- just a note to say that I won't be around much for a while. My computer is very buggy and needs to be overhauled, plus I have been having all kinds of trouble with my ISP and need to take down my website for a while. You can always still contact me at eaglefalconlark at yahoo dot com.

Love to you all and happy birthing!

Linda
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#139 of 177 Old 01-25-2005, 05:48 PM
 
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Hello. Lurker-me popping in here to update a bit on myself. I'm getting very close it seems. I've almost reached my "due date," which is this weekend. I'm starting to feel very frustrated here. My first two labors were very straightforward. I felt some menstrual like cramps, they got stronger and stronger and stronger, and hello! the baby came. Why is this one so different? I've had what I've been calling cramptractions on and off for the past month. Sometimes they feel like menstrual cramps and sometimes they just feel like Braxton Hicks with a little extra kick. Then last night, I started having some real live contractions with enough pain that I simply could not sleep. They would be regular for a little while and then become more erratic, but they never got stronger. I kept thinking this was it, but by the time my husband was up and getting ready to leave, they had pretty much dissipated. I even had him stay with me for an extra hour even though I knew they wouldn't come back, just because it felt better with him there. And now, it's midday and... nothing.

I don't know. Mostly I'm just whining here. I'm hoping for these contractions to come back. I'm ready. I want to do this. It's almost like the more time that goes by though, the more nervousness creeps in.

And everything is so different this time. For you experienced UCer's of more than one baby, were there differences in your labors? And if so, did it ever worry you?
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#140 of 177 Old 01-25-2005, 07:16 PM
 
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Thanks so much to Amy, Linda, and Jennie for addressing my cord question -- I feel much better now. Thank you! As always, the advice here is invaluable.

Linda -- I can't tell you how much I'll miss you!!! I'm sure many other mamas feel the same way! I (selfishly) hope that your computer problems are cleared up quicky.

Stephanie -- I wish I had some words of wisdom for you. All I can offer is looking deep inside yourself to see if there are any unresolved (subconsicous) issues you haven't recognized? Meditation works wonders for me. Probably not much help, but I wanted you to know I'm thinking of you and I so hope that your dear babe is in your arms very soon.

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#141 of 177 Old 01-25-2005, 07:17 PM
 
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Jennie -- I also wanted to add that your new plans sound wonderful. Very peaceful and beautiful. Good for you!

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#142 of 177 Old 01-25-2005, 07:29 PM
 
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Well no baby yet. For some reason I really thought today would be it. Don't think I've got anything left to do or resolve. Guess he's just not ready yet. Lot's of pressure today and even some early bowel cleaning out and slight nausea but then the day went on and I felt normal again (or as close to normal as I feel at 8+ months pregnant ) I do feel the need to stay close to home which is VERY unusual for me so maybe that's something. In most cases I'm the first to remend people that the baby is way easier to care for while inutero but I don't agree this time. With 3 other kiddos and lots going on I wish he'd get here so I could plan things and stop wondering when he'll get here.

On another note has anybody tried Arnica pellets for help with afterpains? They were mentioned as very helpful by a mom on another group I'm on. They were pretty bad last time so I bought some yesterday. I'll try anything to help.

Stacey
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#143 of 177 Old 01-25-2005, 09:53 PM
 
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kate, glad things are coming together! very exciting. i agree with enjoying your only first pregnancy. good question about the cord. i'm going to a birth blessing on sunday...i'll be thinking of you and will send some of the loving mama energy your way!

linda, yes we'll miss you around here!! thanks for the input on the intensity of birthing. i figure the more i hear about it and become atleast mentally familiar with the possibility the more i'll be patient and trusting of the process. in a way it sounds like what you were saying about the difficulty with supporting someone over the phone is that noone can birth the baby but the mama. she (i) has to find the trust, courage, and ability internally no matter how much she trusts someone with her (or on the phone with her). oh, and i meant to tell you (though it may be awhile before you read this), it meant alot to me what you said in that thread about pushing/urge to bear down just a little. you expanded my novice inexperienced view a bit from what was a pretty black and white view when you said that the body will push without thinking or considering it as an option and that the urge to bear down a little is just that. i may've resisted bearing down a little, rather than trusting it for what it is. i hope to be able to generalize this perspective of trusting birth as it comes to me in all it's glory instead of how i've heard it could be. thanks for that.

how're you doing mama2lennon?

stacey, a little birthing dust for you (or super growth dust, so the baby will be done growing sooner!)

Waldorf homeschooling homesteading homebirthing mama to my 2 boys '05 & '10 joy.gif & most amazing wife to my most amazing dh
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#144 of 177 Old 01-25-2005, 11:11 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hayliesmom
On another note has anybody tried Arnica pellets for help with afterpains? They were mentioned as very helpful by a mom on another group I'm on. They were pretty bad last time so I bought some yesterday. I'll try anything to help.

Stacey
yes, they really helped me not in just the afterpains, but the all over the body ache after you give birth. I highly recommend getting a massage too afterwards. My dp gave me the longest massage a couple of days after the baby was born, and all my aches dissapeared soon after. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh....
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#145 of 177 Old 01-26-2005, 01:46 AM
 
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Thanks Kate
How are you feeling? I cant believe how close you are, heck I cant believe how close *I* am!! The last 10 weeks are supposed to drag but nothing baout this pregnancy has been slow, its gone by so quikly.

I have more exciting news I nkow totally OT to birthing but I can't help it. DH and I got a minivan tonight. Normally I dont wheel and deal or try to hardball but tonight we did. We already had a preapproved loan for 7500 (the minivan I wanted was about 6800) and with that we were also going to trade in my Honda. I researched this van and the company we were buying from. I knew I was getting a darn good deal just on the van price since blue book was 8200. We walked in and offered them 8000 out the door they get the honda we get the van. Theycounter offered with 8700. DH said i can give you 8300. Oh man the dealer was upset but he said "you prepared to make a deposit on that?" And Nate said I plan to pay it all in full ROFL I know the dealer was expecting us to finance thru them and then they were going to hit us with a 14 or 16% interest rate to make up for there loss. They had No idea we were paying them in full and seriously planned to walk out the door. So we got the van for book value and they paid off my Honda. You can't get better than that now!

Oh and to sweeten the deal I talked DH into getting our Rory a Britax marathon carseat in the pretty floral print. I guess he conceded b/c I did such a fab job of researching the van I wanted :-) Now all I need to do is go purchase the babytrend latchloc seat for this new bundle and we are all set!
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#146 of 177 Old 01-26-2005, 12:35 PM
 
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Congrats on the new car Jennie! And I love my Britax carseats! The cow print is my favorite. I was so happy they started making it again so I could get one for this little guy

Still here waiting not so patiently. I know I'm not due for like 3 weeks but I if I have to wait that long I think I might go crazy. Ok, whining over

Stacey
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#147 of 177 Old 01-26-2005, 12:51 PM
 
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Thanks Stacey!! I like tht cow print too. I may get that one for the new baby after s/he grows out of the infant seat.

3 weeks beats my 8 weeks LOL but I am not ready yet so I dont mind waiting at all. Are you crafty? You could do something to occup your time while you are waiting. The last few weeks always seem to be the longest and hardest.
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#148 of 177 Old 01-26-2005, 03:23 PM
 
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Thank you for asking how I'm doing Sprinkle Pocket ~ the personal life is in shambles and when I think it's getting better, it just isn't. I saw my counsellor on Monday and it really helped. She showed me how strong I am, that I am doing the right thing by sticking up for myself and speaking my Truth. I have been reading The Whole Woman by Germain Greer and it has made it easier and more difficult to not just sit by and be a passive womun, accepting whatever bs someone wants to throw on me. At the same time, I have been using lots of loving affirmations with the baby. I speak to Faenin and say that it's safe to come out, that I am ready, that I am very excited to see and touch, that the baby is healthy and strong and ready to live outside my womb. At the same time, I wouldn't doubt that the baby is waiting for "dad" to leave at the end of this month.
My "due date" was yesterday, the full moon, the same one ds was born on and I thought the moon would be powerful enough to bring forth the baby. It feels weird to be saying "I'm due today/yesterday" when we go out. My body looks and feels very ready and I am getting impatient to rub soft, slippery, delicious baby skin!
I have let go of my "dreams" with the "dad", mostly, and I feel much more able to have this baby. I can't change someone who, at the last minute, is afraid of the responsibility of parenthood, is too immature and wants to pretend to be living the life of a young swingin' single. In the end, he loses out on the miracle and blessing that only a child can bring. I am not alone and that feels good.

Yesterday two wimmin, one from China and the other from Bangladesh, both told me that in their cultures a baby born early will be a boy and one who is born late will be a girl ... only time can tell ...

This is my prayer for the baby to be born in the next few days. I am strong and calm. One of my favorite songs to sing is I am enough for myself, I don't need anything else.
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#149 of 177 Old 01-26-2005, 03:38 PM
 
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you go!! and remember your post is here if you forget all the rad strong centered stuff you just wrote!

you know, when i was kind of trying to tune in to when my babe will come so my best friend can come right after the birth (5 hr drive for her, plus arranging childcare for her 3), i was thinking about the full and new moons on either side of my 'due date'. then the babe piped up and told me,"i'll come when the time is *proper*. no sooner no later." they really know what's up, don't they...having a better view of the world from where they are, i guess.

wow, if your babe's dad is leaving at the end of the month, that may be it. just a few days. i bet it's going to be an even bigger load off you than you could realize, since you're kind of in the position of having to be strong for your here kiddo and soontobe here kiddo, not to mention your own sanity.

wishing you continued centeredness and the space to not be so centered sometimes too, if you want that.

Waldorf homeschooling homesteading homebirthing mama to my 2 boys '05 & '10 joy.gif & most amazing wife to my most amazing dh
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#150 of 177 Old 01-26-2005, 07:11 PM
 
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Yes, Mama2Lennon -- what a great post. You sound strong and wonderful. Your sweet babe will be here before you know it. And I just love, love, love the name you've chosen. Absolutely beautiful!

Sprinkle -- my babe and I have had similar "conversations" whenever I ask for a clue of when he'll be here! They are very wise, aren't they?

Stacey -- you and I must be "due" around the same time (Feb 19th or so?). I've always felt that my babe will be here sooner, too. Wishing you patience and perserverance.

Jennie -- on your minivan and carseat deal! That must feel great!
I'm feeling just wonderful -- thanks so much for asking. I've been having some bouts of middle-of-the-night nausea and loose bm's (tmi, sorry!) for a couple of weeks now, so I figure that's my body gearing up. I've also been very HUNGRY! I'm very peaceful and content and just in love with everything.

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