I'm having a bit of a hard time with this, ladies, and could use some outside perspective, I think! Reminders of what I *can* and *cannot* do anything about, yk?
I'm due in about a month. This will be my second UP/UC, and while I *did* have fears to work through before my last birth, I had the innate feeling that everything was going to be perfect, and that my intuition was going to totally pay off....and it did. We had no problems at all whatsoever.
This time, though, I'm a bit more freaked out. I can't figure out what position the baby is in, and am afraid that s/he will stay transverse or something. Or breech. I've had 2 dreams about this baby - one pre-conception and one post - where it was a breech-born girl....and while part of me is saying that maybe I'm dreaming this to tell myself that even if she *is* breech, it will all be okay, another part is saying "this is a warning, get help".
And then to stem off of that, other fears pop up. Placenta previa, which I do NOT suspect, as I do feel low scrabbling movements, and have gotten kicked/punched right in the cervix already. Cord prolapse, which I KNOW can happen any time, anywhere....but being 10 minutes from town on a snowy crappy road kinda wigs me out, yk? And with the baby not being in any kind of engaged position, I know that this is a bit more of a legit fear.
I'm thinking I need to take some time each day to sit & talk to the baby, and maybe that will help me connect a bit more with her/him. I'm not sure what else can be done, short of succumbing to curiosity & spending money I don't have to get an ultrasound, which I don't think is safe anyway, yk?
So what do you think? Any words of wisdom? Anyone else dealing with more fears the second time around than with their first UC? Could I possibly just be dealing with an irrational "I used up all my good luck with the first UC, and now I'm due for some trouble" kind of thing?