addressing fears? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 2 Old 01-21-2005, 04:53 PM - Thread Starter
mehndi mama's Avatar
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I'm having a bit of a hard time with this, ladies, and could use some outside perspective, I think! Reminders of what I *can* and *cannot* do anything about, yk?

I'm due in about a month. This will be my second UP/UC, and while I *did* have fears to work through before my last birth, I had the innate feeling that everything was going to be perfect, and that my intuition was going to totally pay off....and it did. We had no problems at all whatsoever.

This time, though, I'm a bit more freaked out. I can't figure out what position the baby is in, and am afraid that s/he will stay transverse or something. Or breech. I've had 2 dreams about this baby - one pre-conception and one post - where it was a breech-born girl....and while part of me is saying that maybe I'm dreaming this to tell myself that even if she *is* breech, it will all be okay, another part is saying "this is a warning, get help".
And then to stem off of that, other fears pop up. Placenta previa, which I do NOT suspect, as I do feel low scrabbling movements, and have gotten kicked/punched right in the cervix already. Cord prolapse, which I KNOW can happen any time, anywhere....but being 10 minutes from town on a snowy crappy road kinda wigs me out, yk? And with the baby not being in any kind of engaged position, I know that this is a bit more of a legit fear.

I'm thinking I need to take some time each day to sit & talk to the baby, and maybe that will help me connect a bit more with her/him. I'm not sure what else can be done, short of succumbing to curiosity & spending money I don't have to get an ultrasound, which I don't think is safe anyway, yk?

So what do you think? Any words of wisdom? Anyone else dealing with more fears the second time around than with their first UC? Could I possibly just be dealing with an irrational "I used up all my good luck with the first UC, and now I'm due for some trouble" kind of thing?
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#2 of 2 Old 01-22-2005, 12:24 AM
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I know how ya feel..i never know what *little voices* too listen too.. i often think i should listen to all my inner wisdoms but than i have to realize a good number of those voices aren't my own...
i dunno if this is too flaky for you but maybe try having a very intentional sit and talk with your baby.. try to weed out any possible outside influence in how your feeling.. ask baby, tell baby ho your feeling.. and start thinking positive.. affirmations.. your body was made to birth this baby.. your healthy and strong. your working with the baby for a healthy happy birthing. I am this body. I am safe. you have time for baby to engage.. if this is your second baby and you still have a month too me it seems very normal for babe to still be high.. and even with a head down baby you can get nice kicks and bumps low down (i am now for instance).. baby is all hands not feet so i htought babe was breech.. but it is just a hitter not a kicker, you can reach in to your baby rigth above the pubic bone.. sometimes the head is really buried in there if the head is there you can wiggle it and it will move seperate from the body.. meaning body will wiggle less with the motion.. the but if you wiggle it the whole body tends to wiggle rigth can also start checkign internally for the head.. not through the cervix but you may feel the head down there even if not fully engaged..
If something is telling you baby is breech that might not so much be a warning as a be prepared for the other things.. I think your right on key.. too me i worry than i worry abotu worrying.. than i remind myself that worry is s ign of concern and love.. we love our babies so of course we worry it is not a negative thing.. it is becasue your the mama bear and you want what is best.. just remember your fully capable of providing what is best to this baby.. and a lot of what goes down is up to you.. start telling baby head down.. picture the birth going smoothly and happily head out..all's well..
complications in birth are rare (especially when mama is educated and limiting interventions).. you can use your worry to empower yourself and learn more abotu potential risks.. but know that these risks are very rare.. over 98% of all births are *naturally* complication free. of the compications that arise most are obvious in pregnancy.. of the risks that are not most complications are obvious in labour.. and it leaves little room for many un expected outcomes.. and most if not all have treatments you can learn and warning signs..
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