UC support #14, February 05 - Mothering Forums

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Old 02-02-2005, 02:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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uc thread #1
uc thread #2
uc thread #3
uc thread #4
uc thread #5
uc thread #6
uc thread #7
uc thread #8
uc thread #9
uc thread #10
uc thread #11
uc thread #12
uc thread #13

roll call

andrea -- UC 8/03 story
Aurora -- UC 10/03 story
Whit -- UC 11/03
2much2luv -- UC 1/04
thechrysalis -- UC 1/04
Mothernature -- UC 1/04
indigolilybear -- UC 3/04 pics (first UC 5/01 story )
citizenfong -- UC 3/04 pics
Carrieanders -- UC 4/10/04 story
Chaka Falls -- UC 4/04
amyamanda -- UC 5/04 story
Karenpl -- UC 6/04 story
bookwormmama -- UC 6/04
wildthing -- midwife-attended 6/04 story
grnbn76 -- emergency cesarean, 7/04 story
Hathor -- UC 7/04 story
Mamajaza -- UC 7/04 story
gr8fulmom -- UC 7/04 story
luna13mama -- UC 7/04
Chandar -- UC 7/04 story
Klothos -- UC 7/23/04 story
madrone -- UC 8/19/04
TinyBabyBean -- midwife-attended 8/04 story (if you're still reading - you may want to relocate your birth story, as that forum is closing...)
violet -- UC 8/19/04
Oshunmama -- midwife-attended 8/04 story
lovemygirl -- UC 9/9/04 story
mellie-bellie -- UC 9/27/04
blueviolet -- UC 9/04 story (first UC 7/01, story )
JesseMomme -- UC 9/21/04 (first UC 11/02, story )
StacyL -- Hospital transport 9/19/04 story
4xmamamia -- UC 9/30/04
amyjeans -- UC 10/9/04 story
rachel -- UC 10/25/04 story
lafemmedesfemmes -- UC 11/8/04 story
DancerMom -- UC 11/12/04 story
Ame -- UC 12/9/04 story
laurata -- UC 12/10/04 story (first UC 3/02, story )
Lula's Mom -- UC 12/12/04 story
AmyD -- UC December 04' story
nikirj -- mw assisted 12/04 story
Asheville Mama -- EDD January 1 2005
mamamaya -- mid January 2005
zonapellucida -- late January 2005
Chiromom -- 2nd UC 1/23/05 story (first UC 2/03 story )
Dandylion -- UC Feb 1 2005 story
Mama2Lennon -- hospital 2-8-05
Hayliesmom -- UC 2-16-05
mehndi mama -- UC 2-12-05
KateSt. -- UC 2-17-05

carlasher -- mid March 2005
sprinkle pocket -- late March 2005
jenniebug--end of March/early April
liamandpipersmama (Laura)--April 2005
FreeRangeMama -- April 2005 (first UC 9/03)
Selissa -- June/July 2005
Binah Yeteirah--July 2005
rainbowmoon -- August 2005
ChildoftheMoon (Brandi)-- late August 2005 (planned uc born still 7/19/04 peacefully at home with mwstory)
Quickening--Aug/Sept. 2005
--


Please PM me to make changes or add new story links .

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Brandi

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mom to dd-99, dd-01, dd-born still@40w 7/04, ds-05, dd-08, dd-10, dd-13

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Old 02-02-2005, 02:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Just wanted to start off this thread with a big congratulations to Stephanie!!!
Wishing you a wonderfully peaceful babymoon. I can't wait to read your story.

Brandi

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mom to dd-99, dd-01, dd-born still@40w 7/04, ds-05, dd-08, dd-10, dd-13

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Old 02-02-2005, 03:26 PM
 
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Old 02-02-2005, 07:15 PM
 
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Brandi~ could you put the link to my new, improved, elaborated, detailed birth story in the UC list up there? It's http://www.mothering.com/discussions...5&page=1&pp=20 And could you also take my pics out, cause they're not relevent to my UC anymore.
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Old 02-02-2005, 09:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the update Mamajaza. I fixed it all up for you

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Old 02-03-2005, 01:14 AM
 
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Thanks for all the congrats everybody! Here is a link to my birth story on my blog.

I'm in such bliss right now. So glad I decided to UC.
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Old 02-03-2005, 01:17 AM
 
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!!!!! look at how the community has grown!!!!

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Old 02-03-2005, 02:29 AM
 
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Much congratulations to you Stepahine I'm off to read Irina's birth story!! Enjoy your babymoon

Amy
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Old 02-03-2005, 02:31 AM
 
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Brandi,

Owen was born on 11/26, I forgot to put in his birth story (b/c really after the fantabulous birth, how important is the day anyway :LOL ), you have him as dec, as that is when I was due. Thanks

Amy
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Old 02-03-2005, 04:15 AM
 
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Congrats Dandylion! I hope to be joining you soon

Stacey
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Old 02-03-2005, 05:18 AM
 
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Put me down for UP/UC Aug/Sept 2005!
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Old 02-03-2005, 09:00 AM
 
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Okay, Quickening went first, so I'll go, too.

Put me down for UC July 2005.
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Old 02-03-2005, 11:49 AM
 
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Oh Stephanie -- what a beautiful birth story! I loved how you mentioned your grandmother would be guiding your baby into the world and I also loved how you compared your uc to Saren's and Harper's births. Thanks so much for sharing such a wonderful experience. With each story I read, I feel more and more ready.

Sprinkle-- been wanting to thank you for the giggle from the last thread about "startling your baby." How cute! Has your husband left yet on his "vision quest?" I've been thinking of you.

Stacey -- I hope you're hanging in there! I still don't feel like my baby will come within the next week -- but maybe the next 2 weeks. Heck, watch "him" be the first baby to be born on his actual EDD!

Brandi -- thanks so much for starting the new thread! Hope you are healthy and doing well.

So, I got a message from my mw yesterday morning (Jennie, you'll appreciate this). To refresh -- I had written her a letter a month ago saying that I had to cut all ties, because I was uncomfortable with the arrangments we were trying to make just to have her as back-up. She called to let me know that "of course" she supports my decision and she'll be there for me in any way I need her -- whether before my baby comes or after. She also shared with me a story of a former client of hers that had moved away and couldn't find a mw so decided to have up/uc. Her former client just gave birth to a very healthy girl who was a double-footling breech. Mama and baby are doing wonderfully. I thought that was a wonderful thing to share -- and just goes to show how even the "abnormal" can be perfectly normal when left up to nature.

Hope all you mamas are doing well.

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Old 02-03-2005, 01:28 PM
 
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omgoodness! it is just SOO awesome to see all these UC birth stories! It's just so wonderful to see all these babies born into the loving hands of thier parents in the quiet of thier home Congratulations to you all!!
ftr: I've had 3 UC's the last one born on the toilet
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Old 02-03-2005, 03:28 PM
 
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Beautiful birth story, stephanie!
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Old 02-03-2005, 06:24 PM
 
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dandylion~ your bliss is so clearly palpable in your birth story. and like kate said, each story i read brings me more peace as i approach my uc. so for partially selfish reasons, thanks for sharing your story. how lucky for irina and how lucky for your other 2 girls to see a *real* nature-led birth. (even if she didn't get cereal right when she wanted it :LOL). wow. it was just beautiful. enjoy your babymoon.

kate~ yep, dh has been gone since before sunrise sunday. i'm looking forward to hearing about his reflections if they resurface after his return. sometimes they just bubble for a while and i only hear about them when he's on the phone with a guy friend. i went to the babyshower/blessingway that afternoon. not knowing many in town, i was blown away by the group of women that had gathered. all ages, & all so amazing. i actually chose to tell one neat woman that i was planning to be unassisted. she just said 'wow.' --like it took her into her own mind (she has a 6mo old), rather than projecting some judgement onto me. that was invigorating. only one woman was annoying, hounding me for a due date--i don't even know her. then she asked me if i was planning on going "totally unassisted". it really put me on the spot, asking me when there were like 20 other women around in a circle (though in reality they probably weren't paying attention). so i just said yes. i didn't know how to be assertive without sounding aggressive or defensive. so i just winged it, and tried to make it clear by my energy that further comments from her were unwelcome. so i went home and didn't have dh to vent to. it was really cool to work through her vibe and just being around so much estrogen and so many women/mamas/babies/pregnant women on my own. by morning, i couldn't really remember what bugged me about her...just the forwardness of her one comment and i'd already dealt with that. it made me smile that i was able to shake it. i'm not usually good at that. oh, one older woman said she had 2 kids and childbirth was totally painless and if it weren't for the pregnancy side of it and stuff (she's married to a woman, so i don't think she'd like the getting pg part) she'd give birth once a year. it was the most connected she'd ever felt to the creator. you could almost hear the silence when she was talking about the painless part. it was cool to hear. so kate, i feel like we're in a play together and you have to say your lines on stage 1st, or you're in line for a roller coaster in front of me. do you feel that way? i did realize though that you could go longer and i could go earlier and i could birth before you. are we going to see a belly pic before you birth? dh and i have been meaning to take one that i can post, but haven't and now he has the camera with him on his adventure.

mama2lennon~ what's going on? are you blissed out in babymoon-land and haven't gotten to a computer? or hanging out in a hot bathtub trying to get comfy?

jennie~i forgot about spring equinox. i keep thinking i'll birth a little early (maybe it's wishful thinking). the full moon is just a few days before my due date. either way, we'll be closing in on it together.

birthing vibes to those who are chomping at the bit.

i'm off to the co-op to load up on protein and greens. yum! beans! nuts! sprouted bread! broccoli! chard! kale! dandelion!
sorry brandi, is your nausea gone yet?

Waldorf homeschooling homesteading homebirthing mama to my 2 boys '05 & '10 joy.gif & most amazing wife to my most amazing dh
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Old 02-03-2005, 07:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Everyone has been added

Still feeling sick. 10.5 weeks now. Some days I am fine and then wham! I have a day that I can't keep anything down. Protien smoothies have been helping me out. I can feel my fundus now, that really made me happy. Any idea how high it should be? I can't remember if the cm mean anything this early or not.
Really enjoying hearing about all the babies entering peacefully into this world and eagerly awaiting to hear the stories of you all who are getting SO close!
Brandi

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mom to dd-99, dd-01, dd-born still@40w 7/04, ds-05, dd-08, dd-10, dd-13

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Old 02-04-2005, 12:53 PM
 
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Brandi -- I have no insight on fundus height, but I'm so glad to hear you seem to be doing well.

Sprinkle -- good for you for being able to deflect that woman's energy!! I know that's not an easy task.
Hmmm...about being in a play or in line for a rollercoaster before you...I haven't really thought in terms of going "before you" for the exactly the reasons you stated. I more feel like we're kindred spirits on a similiar journey to perserve (or more accurately, ressurect) the integrity of the birthing process. I think that's most likely the role of most uc'ers. I love being a part of this thread in particular because there is a certain mentality among all the women -- one of spirituality, a trust and faith in nature and themselves. I feel so very fortunate to be a part of it. And sprinkle, I do feel a special bond with you, since we're both first time mamas and first time uc'ers. I'm looking forward to reading your birth story almost as much as I'm looking forward to finding out mine!

So, yesterday was a wonderful "birth confidence" day. I felt so empowered and excited and so decided to hold a special, intimate blessingway with dh. We lit a fire, we read to our baby for an hour, then I read to dh my "fear lists" that I'd written a couple of months ago and we talked about them. Then I tore them up and we burned them in the fire. I then smudged our house with sage and read dh my "belief lists" and we talked about those. It was such a wonderful experience -- we were surrounded by candles, flowers, and love. It left me feeling so euphoric -- like I was floating. I still feel that way this morning. I definitely feel more and more ready to have this baby -- though I know he'll come only when he's ready. It's just nice to feel less anxious and more joyful. Felt I had to share this with you wonderful mamas...

Have a wonderful Friday!

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Old 02-04-2005, 03:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Kate what a beautiful day you had. Thank you so much for sharing that. I may have to borrow those ideas.. What a wonderful way to prepare for birth in the last weeks. I was calmed just reading about it!

Brandi

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mom to dd-99, dd-01, dd-born still@40w 7/04, ds-05, dd-08, dd-10, dd-13

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Old 02-04-2005, 03:20 PM
 
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Still no baby ... still waiting patiently ... ds is less patient ...

I will not have mw for the next baby, they are still so medicalized and having to follow so many rules and regulations, they are stressing me out! They have me scheduled for induction (non-drug) at a hospital (ugh!) Monday morning 9 am. My intuition had always told me the baby would be born Sunday or Monday and this hospital business is ridiculous. I really have to change that, just for peace of mind. I am officially at 42 weeks on Tuesday and they will not be allowed to handle my care after that "magical" date. I haven't told them of my plans not to call them and I don't want to be mid-labour Monday at 9 am and explain why they didn't get the "call". I thought of running off into the woods somewhere so I could have some peace!

I am laughing thinking about my baby being born on Superbowl Sunday - and I don't care a fig about football!!! Maybe Faenin will be a boy .... this baby is very active!
I will have my precious in my arms soon enough!
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Old 02-04-2005, 05:14 PM
 
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I have finally put together my birth story. I posted it in my EDD thread but I will try to put the link here:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...68#post2625268

I hope this works! Enjoy! I know I got so much out of all the birthstories I read!

Mar
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Old 02-04-2005, 06:05 PM
 
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Great story, Mar! I got so much out of it -- thanks so much for sharing. And your precious Ribh is sooooo delicious! Enjoy your baby moon.

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Old 02-04-2005, 07:42 PM
 
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Kate what a beautiful story!! I bought a sage stick a few weeks ago to smudge the house and we still have not done it. I think I may wait until after the 1st of March, closer to the time baby is due.
I saw Saras yesterday and she relayed to me the birth story she called you about. I love how supportive she is of UC. I did find out she may not be bale to be here for the birth, which I would much rather her than Vicki just because I feel saras is much more intune with my desire to be alone. Saras is supposed to be going to Argentine March 26 and Im due 23. I dont expect this baby on time, but then again i dont expect anything lol
I did have a very odd dream last night. I was in a futuristic type of hospital, no beds at all. But the sOB said I coul dnot deliver vaginally and they would have to slice the baby out of me. Had something to do with my birth canal but the details on that are fuzzy. Anyways my baby and I had a heart to heart and decided we would show him and out she came, 36 weeks gestation and nearly 9lbs! I don't know what to take from that but it was again another painless labor and fast panless delivery, as in my first dream. Only much colder since I was in this stark white hospital.

Sprinkle--I totally forgot about the equinox myself, I dont know how! And I even told you when the full moon is lol I have never delivered near a full moon, it seems to have no effect on me. Strange huh? But I have heard that when you deliver has more to d owith your own monthly cycles than it does with the moon. I dont recall the details on al lof that at the moment tho.

Congrats to our new mamas, welcome earthside new babes!!
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Old 02-04-2005, 08:21 PM
 
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Great story Mar! Loved the get this "blessed event" over with part

Well still no baby. And not much going on today as compared to yesterday. I think yesterday could have been it if the older kids had an extra few hours at school. I was having uncomfortable contractions and was a little worried about even leaving to go pick them up. But then they got in the car loud and full of excitement about the day and Peyton decided he would just stay put...lol. By the time they were in bed nothing at all was happening. I think I need to go run away. Maybe I can talk dh into taking them to the Mardi Gras parade tomorrow. I am very irritable today. Ugh!

Stacey
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Old 02-05-2005, 12:59 AM
 
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in case it hasn't been addressed ~ for fundal height, i laid on my back + counted the number of fingerwidths from my pubic bone to the top of the uterus (which was always easy for me to feel but i don't know how universal this is)... the # should more or less coincide w/ your # of weeks ~ BUT your water / fluid intake totally influences this! hth
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Old 02-05-2005, 02:32 AM
 
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I started seeing a midwife when I first became pregnant and thought that I wanted to deliver in a birth center. The more I have learned about everything (prenatal tests, labor, birth etc.) the less I have wanted to deal with going to the midwife and anything that it is related to.

After our appointment last month I told dh that our midwife doesn't remember us at all from our previous appointments and could care less. He didn't believe me and said that he thought she did remember us. Well we went again today and she made it completely appearent that she had no idea who we are at all. She started asking me questions about if I am feeling better after going to the hospital and other stuff that had appearently happened to some other person. Then she had my gestation wrong (she has it wrong every appointment) and couldn't find me in her palm pilot of due dates and wondered why I wasn't in there (she also does this every appointment). And she tried to use the doppler on me again even though she has it written and highlighted in neon yellow in my chart NO DOPPLER and I have to stop her every appointment.

My husband and I are completely committed to an UC at this point. Dh is all for firing the midwife at this point and continuing with UP. I am currently feeling weird about not going to her anymore, I am not exactly sure why. I definitely feel that she doesn't offer me anything in terms of care. I am not "high risk" and I have declined all tests and will continue to do so. All she does is measure my uterus and ask me if the baby is kicking a lot when we do go, it takes like 2 minutes. She has pressured me into taking the GTT in two weeks, and I am very unhappy about doing it.

I guess most of my fears are about not understanding what I have to do to get birth certificate paper work completed and maybe getting a newborn exam (I haven't decided yet whether I want that done).

Does anyone have any advice about stopping prenatal care, or any reasons why I might want to continue it? I am at 26 weeks gestation now. This is my first pregnancy.
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Old 02-05-2005, 03:54 AM
 
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Clucky - I stopped seeing my mw at 28 weeks. DH and I had already agreed we would UC, and *I* felt that the appts were a waste of time (and just more opportunity for the mw to pressure me into things I didn't want), but DH had been getting reassurance each visit that things were "okay". Like you and your DH, my DH didn't seem to see what I did from the mw (I felt fairly early on that she wasn't hearing me, didn't respect my wishes, etc, and DH sort of blew me off and thought I was overreacting/exaggerating). Well, at my 28ish week visit, the mw told us that she could no longer see us if I refused a) Doppler at EVERY visit and during labor and b) u/s at 37/38 weeks. Both of which I had been VERY clear about from our very first visit, that I would not be doing. So we just didn't go back, since it was clear that our wishes were not respected (nor was our time, since she had known for so long my standing on those points, and it was pretty clear that she thought she could just wait until it was "too late" for us to find other care and pressure me into it - guess not).


Anyway, I was VERY pleased that DH was finally able to see what I had been saying about the mw not respecting my wishes, and DH was glad that she had made it so clear. DH had been thinking that we could UC, but have the mw/birth center as a backup in case we (he, lol) thought things weren't quite right. He was glad that the mw outed herself before we got to that point (not that *I* was going along with his plan, but I'm glad that b/c of the mw's actions, the birth center is no longer in DH's head as a backup).



I must say that since we stopped the prenatal appts, *I* have been so much more at peace - in general! Going to the prenatals was causing me a lot of stress, some of which I realized, but some of which was sort of behind the scenes. It was hard for me b/c I didn't want to be going, but DH wanted to and I wanted to do everything I could to make him comfortable with UC, but yet I felt like I was lying to the mw (in the end, I don't care about that, b/c SHE was lying to us, but anyway) - I wasn't, I avoided talking about specific plans for the delivery b/c I knew I wouldn't be involving her in that.

I'm glad we're not doing prenatals anymore - I've looked at it as an opportunity to tune in to my intuition rather than depend on an outsider to tell me the baby's fine, or my fundus is XXX. I don't need someone else to tell me that my baby's growing - I can feel the kicks and see my belly expanding. I can be surprised when baby kicks a little higher than he/she has before, and know that he/she is growing just fine. If I really need to know, I can measure my fundus myself - but I've found that recently I'm not too concerned about it (when you feel like you're choking on baby feet, you don't really tend to believe that baby's not growing, yk? lol).


We have felt nothing but positive results from stopping the prenatal visits - remember, though, *I* was not loving my mw anyway. Someone who really liked her mw might feel differently - the visits might not be a stress, she might not feel she had to gear up to defend her wishes every month, she might be able to just relax and enjoy an hour of chit-chat about her pregnancy. That wasn't my experience, though, so quitting the prenatals was something we really should have done earlier.



As far as getting a birth certificate, well, *I* don't know what *I* have to do, either. I'm not letting that stop me. I've just told myself that I won't worry about it until I need to (after the baby's here) - I have to remind myself that babies are born UC all the time by accident - they still manage to get bcs, right. And we are doing a newborn exam, but I don't really see why that would be a hold-up to you - have you interviewed peds/family practitioners yet? Have someone in mind? Just give him/her a call after baby's here (whenever YOU decide) and set up that newborn appt. That is, if you want. We will do the PKU test about a week after birth, so we will have a newborn appt sometime before then. Our family practitioner wants us to call him as soon as the baby's born, but if we don't feel that's necessary, then we'll just wait a couple days and give us all a chance to adjust to the new one first. It'll still be a newborn exam, yk?
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Whew! A bunch of us are getting close! I've finally let myself acknowledge that the baby will be here sometime this month. I've not wanted to think it could be too soon, for fear I would start getting antsy if baby didn't appear when *I* thought it should..... but realistically, baby *should* get here sometime in February. My mom will be getting here the 16th, so anytime after that will be fine with me (there is a tiny part of me that wonders if that's cutting it too close, but I'm still feeling pretty spry - for as pregnant as I am, lol - and not as miserable as I think I would if baby's arrival were very imminent). I think I'll plan on going out to eat with either DH or my mom that next weekend, and either I'll have a nice evening out, or our plans will be interrupted by baby - either way will be fine by me, lol.


I need to sit down and find some time to read all the birthstories - maybe this weekend I can do that. DS tends to interrupt me when I try to read them, and I really want to give them my full attention. Congratulations to everyone, anyway!


Gotta go, DS is fussing around. I'm hoping to sit down with a nice cup of tea over the weekend and soak in the beauty of the birth stories.

Kinsey
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Old 02-05-2005, 01:16 PM
 
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Clucky
Call your local birth regsitrars office and find out exactly what you need to obtain a birth certificate. It can be a totally anonymous call and you can inform them you had/are having a baby at home. For the most part I think they just want proof of pregnancy and a witness to the birth other than youself.

If you do not want to take the GTT then dont! IMO opinion its one of those unnecessary tests that sgiven to everyone rather than just th eones at risk or having symptoms. If you feel the need you can buy a glucometer and test your fasting and after eating blood sugars. I did this with my last UP just as a precaution since it was never fully determined if I had had GD with the pregnancy before that.

Newborn exam can be done by any pediatricians office. I had one done with a midwife after my last birth, but she was helping me to obtain the birth certificate. The exam was the first time she had ever met me and I never saw her again after that. Its not necesary but if its something you want to do you can find a midiwfe or ped to do it.

There is a woman on here Kate St who is about in the same position as you are (fist pregnancy, first UP/UC) who can offer you some good advice

Do YOU feel you need to continue with prenatal care? What can't you do at home that a midwife or OB can? My answer to that is nothing! You can monitor your own weight gain, fundal height, BP. You are at the stage were you shoul dbe feeling regular fetal movements. If you need to hear the heartbeat you can get a fetoscope (or doppler altho many UCers are against the doppler use). Good luck in whatever decision you make!
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Old 02-05-2005, 02:10 PM
 
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Gotta second everything the other mamas said,Clucky!

I'm a little hung up on the birth certificate issue,too but it's because the registrar's office is 45 minutes away and I have no car LOL and I *think* I have to actually go there to file it.At least that's my understanding.

I skipped the GTT with all but one previous pregnancy,as well as all other testing. I also didn't see the point of the GTT since I felt it just didn't apply to me.

I am still debating on whether or not to call the pediatrician's office to talk to them about how soon after birth they like to see homebirthed babies or wait until after the birth and just call them when WE are ready to have the baby be seen. But then again, we have the whole fear issue going on of someone calling CPS or some such nonsense . It is just so hard in my little world for me to gauge whether or not people are going to flip out and see UP/UC as being neglectful. I feel a little paranoid lately about that sort of thing :
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Old 02-06-2005, 12:20 AM
 
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Hi all,

Typically just lurk on the list... love the stories!! But Kinsey, I think I'll have to share your last post with my dh, if you don't mind! I was thinking initially "maybe I could find a mw or doc who would totally mislead us, then dh would be mad, and then he'd see the wisdom in UP/UC"

Then I thought, NO... he just needs to understand the stress a pg mama goes through when she has to constantly restate her intentions, convictions, etc. to someone who clearly thinks she's out to lunch. And he doesn't want me to be stressed out, does he?

I'm still amazed that the man that was quite comfortable with me in his Kenworth until I was 26 wks with our first baby - typically nowhere near any medical aid of any kind - is now acting nervous about just having the baby right here at home, with all the medical intervention he could ever want (and I would never want) just around the corner. Don't always get him, but I do always love him...

lizzie

It's such a relief to finally trust yourself.
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