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Old 02-24-2005, 09:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello again. I would like to share with you an experience I had. I left it out of my birth story because I thought some of you might think it was wierd. But after thinking about it, I think it can be beneficial to some mamas out there who may have experienced this and not known what it could mean- if it means anything.
I also want to share this with you to clear the air in my life.

That being said, I had a dream about 2 weeks before Sydney was born. In this dream, I was in bed with my dh. I was in labor. It was very dark in the room and my husband was lying next to me watching me in agony. I was in labor for what seemed days. I was lying on my back, writhing in pain. It was active labor for sure.
It was dark in the room accept for a white mist circling above our bed. This mist spoke to me and said, "confess and your pains will end"
This mist was, I believe the spirit of the child I had lost in October of 2003.
Yes, there was a pregnancy after Sara and before Sydney. I was 7 weeks pg and my ex-ob (whom you all know I am not fond of for obvious reasons) determined, based on the HCG levels, that the fetus was non-viable. Therefore we allowed her to perform a D&C. At the time, we thought her decision sound. Afterwards, we began to think twice about it. As with this last m/c, would nature have taken its course and allowed the child to thrive, or would I have had a m/c naturally? Only God knows.
Therefore, during most of my pregnancy with Sydney, I had this weight looming over my head, unconciously.
Then I had the dream. I guess it was sort of a nightmare. When I woke, I told my husband I needed to go to confession.
Anyway, he agreed and we attempted to meet with our priest but I was so very reluctant. I was so afraid, of what? I have no idea.
I only had the dream once but for the rest of the pregnancy, it weighed heavier on my heart than the d&c itself.
I finally confessed to someone. My dear friend Sharon, who is a birth educator here in town. We were at her house and talked about birth and I confessed about the D&C to her. Up until then, I told no-one. The guilt of that decision was so unbearable and I needed to clear the air literally it seemed. I needed to confess, but I wasnt told to whom I should confess.
That confession took place at 10pm Friday October 8, 2004.
Sydney was born 748am, Saturday October 9, 2004 after a week of prodromal labor I might add.
I firmly believe the confession was the last milestone for me to overcome.
I guess the point i am making is that when it comes time to give birth, clear the air.
Anyone else experience any dreams that effected their birth?
Thanks for listening and if you think I am a nutcase, so be it.
Warm Regards

Mama to 5 babies. UCer, too!
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Old 02-24-2005, 01:23 PM
 
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Amyjean,
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Old 02-25-2005, 12:26 AM
 
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wow. what a powerful experience. i haven't had a similar experience, and have yet to birth a babe, but i really appreciate your sharing that. powerful, indeed. the advice i've gotten from friends the most, or at all, is that labor/birth is about letting go. sounds like that was required of you, too.

Waldorf homeschooling homesteading homebirthing mama to my 2 boys '05 & '10 joy.gif & most amazing wife to my most amazing dh
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Old 03-03-2005, 03:53 PM
 
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I didn't have dreams (That I remember) to that end.. HOwever, i did carry around a lot of FEAR and guilt from my own abortion, my brother dying at 18 months of age a year before I was born, me being the reason that life sucked so hard for mom & I while growing up etc...

Mom and I had a heart2heart about all that a day after she arrived with us for the birth and postbirth care and I started labour the next day.´.. but my DH was still holding onto fear so.. until we had a heart2heart with him almost 2 weeks later, our son stayed unborn.. day after that heart2heart, active labour contrax started, water broke, and our son arrived the day after.

So yes, in a sense I had a similar experience..

Mum to DS (8yrs), DD (6yrs), and DS(3.5yrs). kid.gif

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Old 03-03-2005, 03:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks for your responses. Sometimes its so terribly hard to forgive yourself. It seems easier to forgive others.
warmest regards...

Mama to 5 babies. UCer, too!
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Old 03-05-2005, 11:03 AM
 
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I am giving myself suggestions to allow me to remember my dreams. . . hoping to gain insight into this upcoming birthing experience. I'll keep you guys updated. The other night I had a very violent dream where I took a lover and then when I tried to end it was "stalked and pursuded" in the end I killed the "lover" in fear for my life by stabbing him to death. I feel that this dream is a good metaphor for being woed to see an OB and possibly the feeling of rage that would follow a possible "forced CS"

But can we really just take meanings from dreams as we see fit? I feel in this case that I just let the dream "sit" in my mind. I didn't try to analyse it rather I asked my subconsious to do it for me and this morning (3 days later) I sat down and wrote the above and it feels right. Any opinions?
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Old 03-05-2005, 06:21 PM
 
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Dreams of a Freebirth

Read the article guys! I found it really interesting!
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Old 03-06-2005, 06:07 AM
 
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I'd say you are the best person to intepret your dreams. If that is what feels right, then that is the meaning you are meant to take from it (or one of the meanings, anyway)


--------------------------
Quote:
Originally Posted by Morgraine
I am giving myself suggestions to allow me to remember my dreams. . . hoping to gain insight into this upcoming birthing experience. I'll keep you guys updated. The other night I had a very violent dream where I took a lover and then when I tried to end it was "stalked and pursuded" in the end I killed the "lover" in fear for my life by stabbing him to death. I feel that this dream is a good metaphor for being woed to see an OB and possibly the feeling of rage that would follow a possible "forced CS"

But can we really just take meanings from dreams as we see fit? I feel in this case that I just let the dream "sit" in my mind. I didn't try to analyse it rather I asked my subconsious to do it for me and this morning (3 days later) I sat down and wrote the above and it feels right. Any opinions?

Mum to DS (8yrs), DD (6yrs), and DS(3.5yrs). kid.gif

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Old 03-06-2005, 06:57 AM
 
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i had TONS of dreams about birth, in both of my pregnancies but especially w/ my daughter...

most notably, in one night, i had two dreams "back-to-back" (very long & involved, so i'll summarize) ~

the first, i was in labor @ a hospital in a city, and i started getting really sick, and the dr's & nurses wouldn't let me use the bathroom alone... then they wouldn't let me have the baby @ the end of everything. it was a horrible, degrading experience & i wound up sick & injured...

then immediately following that i dreamt i gave birth @ home, and i saw very clearly, myself, and my new baby, laying on our bed together, basking in warm sunshine, laying on soft blankets and everything was perfect ~ my baby was literally glowing and we were both radiating with this joyful peace...

after i woke up i took the dreams to be a definite, very clear, message ~ that our baby would be better born at home, just the way we planned.

and so she was. and afterward, i did get to swath us in our own soft blankets, and very shortly after that, sit outside enjoying the warm sun with my beautiful new baby.


i do most definitely believe that dreams can tell us what we need to know, and can also reveal our own fears / feelings...
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Old 03-06-2005, 07:24 AM
 
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I actually had a dream just a few days ago. I dreamed I had had twins basically right at that stage of my pregnancy (just shy of 34 weeks). I was so confused about why I hadn't prepared myself for an early delivery since I was having twins. I also couldn't remember a thing about the birth and I was already at home though my babies weren't with me. My Dh brought home one of the babies who was a little tiny premie baby. I started asking him about formula and why he hadn't brought home any formula samples from the hospital. There was no discussion on why I would need formula. My DD never took a bottle much less a bottle with formula and I'm still nursing her at 2.5 so needless to say this would be totally out of character for me. I really ripped into him about it too like I was so mad he hadn't brought home the free formula because now we were going to have to go to the store to buy special expensive premie formula. Dh just sort of stuttered about why he had thought I didn't need the samples none of which was because I was going to BF and therefore had the perfect premie formula right there. It was all so strange. Then as I held (and possibly nursed) the baby she transformed from a very premie looking baby to a normal newborn. I have no idea where the other baby was as she was basically not referred to. This baby I did have was called by the name we plan to give the baby. So I don't really know what the heck that was all about. I was so relieved when I woke up and was still pg and could tell myself "you're having one baby and she's not going to be here for probably at least six weeks." I guess if I'm feeling really introspective I can think that it has to do with the loss of control that occurred during DD's birth that likely led to her stay in the NICU and that at some level I fear that although my midwives are talking a great talk to me now that they will turn on me during delivery. As far as the formula the best I can come up with that is that I've been realy battling depression which is exacerbated by the fact that I feel like so many other women can handle a toddler and a pg so why is this so hard for me. I wonder if I can handle being a mom of two so maybe that's where the formula thing was coming from like I worry I can't nourish/nuture them both? I don't know but I've certainly had some pretty wild dreams during my various pgs and most of them were not pleasant.

For the OP I'm glad this dream helped you resolve some things. That's great.

ETA it's also dawning no me this morning that maybe since I gave up my first two children and DD had problems being home without the babies and not remembering the birth/their first moments has something to do with almost a disbelief that I will ever just be given my new baby to hold and love and bond with? I don't know. Also I saw this thread on the front page and responded not realizing it was in UC. Hope that's ok.
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