Doula at UC? need your thoughts - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 18 Old 03-01-2005, 03:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Just wondering if it is still considered a true UC if you have a doula. And if there are doulas out there who would consider being at a birth without a midwife.

When I was in labor with ds it was not what I thought I wanted it to be like and I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that I didn't feel comfortable with my laymidwife and friend who were there. I felt that they were my audience and was holding back for a long time. I really didn't need them except to rub my stiff thighs and butt, and do the little things like keep me hydrated, bring me fruit to suck on, etc. I was in labor for 30 hours, in transition for 5 hours, and my body pushed for almost 3. Totally do-able in retrospect and I am really looking forward to giving birth at home again. I really want some volumptuous earthy mother type doula to be there to intuitively to help me- and by "help" I mean being able to support me without me having to put it into words exactly (it took too much energy to form the words with my mouth last time so I wasn't getting the help I needed when I wanted it most). I know all about not outsourcing your power... it's just that 30 hours is a very long time and if dh is the only one there with our then 21-22 month old, I definitely won't have the support I want.

Any thoughts?

oh, I forgot to mention that I was also REALLY sick the whole time I was in labor. I have never had such a bad head cold/sinus congestion ever. My energy was completely sapped by the time I reached early active labor 13 hours after the first contraction. The pics of me right after the birth didn't even look like me... I looked like I had been in a train wreck!!! So this is why I think a doula might be a good idea this time around.
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#2 of 18 Old 03-01-2005, 04:25 PM
 
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Well, I don't know if it's "technically" a UC, but I've been thinking about how I want my birth to go lately, and I think I want to UC with women around me. I want my mother, my best friend who has gone before me, a new doula friend, and possibly an older experienced doula there. I just want to be surrounded by this woman energy. (I want dh there too, but he's the only man.) Unfortunately, I doubt my mother will actually be there, because I have talked to her about birth, and I think she has a lot of fear surrounding it, and I don't want that fear energy at my birth. I'm sad, cause I think she'd like to be there, but I just can't have it.

Prior to this, I thought I wanted it to just be dh and me in the quiet and the dark, but I'm really feeling the need for some female support. I wouldn't even mind having a midwife there, but only in a doula role, not as a midwife. And only if I knew a midwife who would appreciate the birth.

Speaking as a doula, I would consider being at the UC, but it would have to beone where the parents were truly educated about what they were doing. And I'd also prolly have them sign a form saying they know I'm not there to dispense medical advice or attention, and that they assume full responsibility for the outcome of the birth.
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#3 of 18 Old 03-01-2005, 04:41 PM
 
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You could still call it a UC, I am sure. Many women use their husbands as labor support and still call their births UCs.

It doesn't really matter anyway, why get caught up in schemantics? If you want only a doula I would call it a UC out of convienience,but I don't really take the time to examine things closely.

For the record, I am 99 percent intent on having a birth with no doctor, midwife or other "medical" professional. I am fairly certain I want a doula there, though. I think the tow can go together.

It sonds to me like a doula might be a wonderful addition to your birth., The entire point of a UC is to give birth in a place that is in line with your comfort level and to take responsibility for your body. If a doula makes you comfortable, the benefit is there.

Evergreen- Loving my girls Dylan dust.gifage8, Ava energy.gifage 4 and baby Georgia baby.gif (6/3/11).

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#4 of 18 Old 03-01-2005, 06:51 PM
 
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i would still call it an uc. my doula is excited to possibly be here for my uc, coming up in april, so i know that some doulas would consider it. it depends on how my labor goes, though. if i go into labor, and it is long and hard and i feel i need extra support, then we'll call her. if i start with contrax 2 minutes apart and dilating fast, then we probably won't call anyone.
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#5 of 18 Old 03-01-2005, 07:02 PM
 
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I consider it a UC if there are no medical professionals in attendance or orchestrating(doctors, nurses, or midwives, chiros count)
I'm a doula and would gladly do a UC. If you think about it, a ton of midwife homebirths are virtually UCs anyway (how many midwife stories have you heard where she doesn't get there until the baby is crowning or already born? ) I do prefer that if I'm going ot do a UC, they know all they can know about what's going on though.
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#6 of 18 Old 03-01-2005, 08:56 PM
 
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i don't think there is a stead fast deffinition of UC...i think it matters most how you feel.. it is no competition..heh
I thin a mother can deliverinthe hosital hands off...all her and she could still call it a uc if she wanted.. some would say technically even your dh being there it is not uc.. or freinds.. or whatever...
I have seen midwives the whoel pregnancy.. they will see the baby after birth at some point.. to many that is not a uc.. but i htink it is about being empowered to birth.. if we are going ot get caught up in semantics than it seems to be stripping some power...choosing to have support is a choice only you can make, and it is a fine one...
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#7 of 18 Old 03-01-2005, 09:12 PM
 
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I think it's generally accepted that the minimum definition of UC is "birth that is not attended by someone in a professional medical capacity."
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#8 of 18 Old 03-02-2005, 12:06 PM
 
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I'm having a friend present at my UC who is just finishing up her doula training. I call it a UC because she is basically there to just be with me–I don't think I will need that much support. But since I am single, I won't have anyone else there unless my son is present. I figure if worst comes to worst, she CAN call 911. But otherwise it's just to help me pass the time.

When I began my pregnancy and she offered to be my doula, I told her I only wanted a post-partum doula because I was planning on using a midwife. When I decided to ditch the midwife, I figured it would be better to at least have someone who knew I was in birth in case I ran into trouble. She and I are VERY clear about what her role will be. I'm borrowing one of those birth tubs to labor in at least and I figure she will help me fill it up, she might get me food and drinks when I am in more active labor. But mostly she will be sitting by letting me experience the birth without interruption. I am also counting on her to turn away anyone who by chance shows up at my door so I don't have to deal with that stuff.

I definitely consider it a UC. In fact, I've been very clear that she's not to call 911 for any reason unless I either ok it or am unable to object for some reason (like being out cold–extremely unlikely).
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#9 of 18 Old 03-02-2005, 12:51 PM
 
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I just wanted to mention something about the head cold/sinus infection that you say you had during labour. I just looked that up in "heal Your Body" by Louise Hay, and it's supposed to mean "irritation to one person, someone close"... this book supposedly tells you what the mental causes are for physical illness, if you didn't know about it.

Good luck with finding a good compatible doula! Make *sure* that she knows *exactly* what you want.
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#10 of 18 Old 03-03-2005, 12:08 AM
 
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I don't think it matters what you call it, but can't you get somebody to watch the toddler so your husband can be fully there to support you?

Berkeley mom of 3 and President of Tender Cargo Baby Gear
and The Nurture Center Store and Resource Center 3399 Mt Diablo Bl Lafayette CA 888-998-BABY
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#11 of 18 Old 03-09-2005, 10:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks mama's for all your replies. I haven't been online since I posted because I have been so BUSY!!! I graduate in 16 days!!! Anyway, I am still not sure what I am going to do exactly, UC or not. We will be moving 650 miles back up north (yay!) and so I'll be looking for a doula then and we'll go from there. We'll be around my in-laws this time so I'm sure we'll have plenty of help with our toddler. I kind of like the stories of toddlers being there for the birth but would want him out of the way when I was in transition.
Yeah, mamajaza, love Louise Hay, she's right up my alley. Actually there were/are a lot of issues with my parents, mainly mother throughout the pregnancy up to the birth, so it makes sense that the sinus infection was the physical manifestation of my irritation with my mother showing up at precisely the time I was giving birth and becoming a mother in the physical sense. Guess I need to be more conscious about where I'm giving my power away this time. Irritated was quite an understatement but I wouldn't say we are "close". Motherhood has taught me that I am not obligated to like someone just because she gave birth to me (especially since she spent the rest of my childhood putting me down and manipulating me). What I mean it that there is a WHOLE LOT more to being a mother than just giving birth and taking care of the physical necessities. But that's another story... for my therapist, bless her.

I told my husband the other day... I AM SO EXCITED TO GIVE BIRTH AGAIN!!!!
and I am.
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#12 of 18 Old 03-09-2005, 11:44 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blueviolet
I think it's generally accepted that the minimum definition of UC is "birth that is not attended by someone in a professional medical capacity."
Except on the UC board I'm on where it's generally accepted that a doula would nix the UC unless she didn't make it until third stage, unless she was someone you had a personal relationship with (sister, best friend, etc).

I am not, for one, interested in UC so much as avoiding another birth rape. I was able to have my mom help me with my second birth, giving me love & massage & sandwiches during the less intense times, honoring my trust and staying out unless invited, and being there to let me grab hold of her waist for my birthing contractions, cleaning up the blood, holding my baby on the cord by the placenta so I could bathe and use the bathroom, getting me the scissors when I was willing to cut the cord, etc. My husband doesn't want to be involved until that cord is cut.

If my mom couldn't be there for me in a subsequent birth, I would probably have someone who is a birth professional there, but only someone who I had a personal relationship with, who would honor my trust and not act except as my mother would. I don't have any non birth worker girlfriends at the moment, who trust birth enough, and who I trust can drop everything to focus on me.
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#13 of 18 Old 03-10-2005, 12:06 PM
 
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"Except on the UC board I'm on where it's generally accepted that a doula would nix the UC unless she didn't make it until third stage, unless she was someone you had a personal relationship with (sister, best friend, etc)."

What is the definition of UC there?
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#14 of 18 Old 03-20-2005, 11:01 PM
 
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Definition is that if you are hiring a birth professional, it is not UC. If the doula is your domestic partner or sister, it's UC. If you hire her but she doesn't make it, it's UC.

Thinking about it, I would be very hesitant to have any doula at my birth who had much experience at all, unless there's some great evidence on their side that they can do the job. They can be "ruined" for real birth by their experiences with hospital clients IMHO. The apprentice at my home birthrape was a long time hospital doula, and boy is she wrong in the head about birth.
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#15 of 18 Old 03-21-2005, 09:25 AM
 
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So under that definiton it is really whether there is the presence of an outsider or not that is the defining point, not whether the birth is technically assisted or not. In that sense, "UC" is kind of a misnomer. It would be nice to have better and more terminology... I have to think on this.

"Thinking about it, I would be very hesitant to have any doula at my birth who had much experience at all, unless there's some great evidence on their side that they can do the job. They can be "ruined" for real birth by their experiences with hospital clients IMHO. The apprentice at my home birthrape was a long time hospital doula, and boy is she wrong in the head about birth."

Yes, although that applies to anyone, really, that we invite to the birth.
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#16 of 18 Old 03-21-2005, 09:37 AM
 
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so with our first home birth we had my midwifery partner as a close friend and unpaid assist she listened to heart tones when I wanted. I caught the baby and no one instructed me or did any thing else except clean up.
last baby we were alone with the kids... so that one is clear

definer's please ladies
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#17 of 18 Old 03-21-2005, 10:15 AM
 
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Yeah, sometimes it is not clear cut, so I think it is good to qualify our use of the label. It's kind of like the word "Christian" -- people mean many different things by it, and not all definitions are accepted by all those who call themselves that.

I will say that for this last birth, I wanted to be flexible and true to my actual needs in the moment, so I left it open as to whether I would call a midwife friend or not, but if I had called her I probably would not have considered it UC, whether or not she actually did anything.
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#18 of 18 Old 03-21-2005, 10:38 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blueviolet

Yes, although that applies to anyone, really, that we invite to the birth.
Yes, of course. But my husband and mother never thought they knew more about birth than me, and only helped the midwife rape me because she was there as authority. Doulas often think they know more about how the woman should labor and birth than she does. My family accepts me as authority when no one else is there.
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