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Old 05-20-2005, 06:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey everyone...what a relief to find this forum!!
I am 6months preg, due early sept...1st pregnancy....i'm 20 yrs old.

I was born and raised on the little island of Guam and moved to San Francisco with my boyfriend (soon to be husband). We are so madly in love with each other and completely THRILLED and excited and anxious and JOYOUS about this baby (boy) coming!
The hard part has been decided how and where to give birth. Several factors came to my mind, such as expecting virtually no family or friends to be present (since they are all so far away). Also, financial matters (I have medi-cal, my partner and I are pretty OK for money...but do not want to spend thousands of dollars)....

I have always believed that childbirth is a very natural, primal ritual that has been happening since the beginning of time. Something about hospitals always gave me the creeps...so emotionless-seeming. I recently decided that I will avoid any hospital at most costs, and even a birthing center for that matter. Been researching natural childbirth, the process of labor and birth, postnatal, and have absorbed the information like a sponge! I have never been so interested in my own body and how human life forms until I became pregnant. I love it!!
I am still unsure what the final decision will be right now...but I've been talking with a midwife for a homebirth. She has a reasonable price, but more importantly, she seems nice, knowledgable and has respect for my wishes... We are on the same page with "as-little-intervention-as-possible"....but something has still been bugging me in the back of my mind. Something still feels....uncomfortable.
Maybe because I have to get to know this person, just so I can feel comfortable and safe with her in my home...but that usually takes me a long time to do with a person!

When I found the forum for unassisted births....the lightbulb when on. It has crossed my mind that my body is perfectly capable of delivering this child into the world...dr or midwife..or no one.... the baby WILL be delivered by mother nature's will! However...there was still that societal fear lingering and overshadowing my true thoughts "no, you couldn't REALLY think that you can do this on your own? No assistance at all??"
It is a scary thought at first!! Especially being this is my first pregnancy. Are there others who had unassisted births for their FIRST pregnancies? I am confident that I could do this, and absorb all the knowledge I would need to overcome any obstacles during and after labor/birth.
It would still help to know that others out there have done it the first time around. Being pregnant for the first time is a lot to take in at first anyway!

any thoughts/advice/support would be so appreciated. this seems like a great place. thanks

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Old 05-20-2005, 07:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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oh and also, is there some kind of basic "guide" to having an unassisted birth? I am so interested in learning...even if I end up deciding to have a midwife present.

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Old 05-20-2005, 07:22 PM
 
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I really like Unassisted Childbirth by Laura Shanley. There are sooooooo many books and it seems different people like different things. What i do is get everything from the library first and then if i really enjoy it i buy it. That way i don't spend a bunch on stuff i don't like.

Congratulations! Stick around here there is a wealth of knowledge and support.
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Old 05-20-2005, 11:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks scrabble, I'll definitely be checking that out!

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Old 05-21-2005, 05:01 AM
 
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Originally Posted by shell024
Are there others who had unassisted births for their FIRST pregnancies?

Me!!!! I am twenty-three, and I just had my first pregnancy and birth with my son Ian this past December. I knew that this birth would set the stage on how my future births will go. I felt that all it takes is one bad experience to ruin your confidence, so I went with my gut feeling and had a UC! And I now LOVE CHILDBIRTH!!!!!

Believe me, I used to be terrified at the thought of giving birth. When I first came accross the idea of UC, I at first thought it was to good to be true. Yet the more I read about it, the more the whole thing made sense to me. I had to learn how to love and trust myself, which is very hard to do in today's society, but completely possible. All you need to do is relax and let your body do it's job.

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I really like Unassisted Childbirth by Laura Shanley.
Also check out her website
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Old 05-22-2005, 01:48 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yet the more I read about it, the more the whole thing made sense to me. I had to learn how to love and trust myself, which is very hard to do in today's society, but completely possible. All you need to do is relax and let your body do it's job.

Thank you zamber! its a relief to hear a positive response (unlike what my friends think of the idea).
I've pretty much decided somewhere deep in my mind already that UC is the path I'm going to take... I think I'm going to keep this decision between my partner and I... don't want others' negativity to hinder our beliefs. The more I think about it, the more all of my problems/fears disappear one by one.
Some of my fears about childbirth were:
-not being able to handle the pain (having to be medicated)
-feeling embarrassed by the way I might act
-not having full control/choice during
-what if something goes wrong
-can we afford this (where I give birth changes the price...choice is limited)

Now that I've acknowledged the fact that I can give birth ANY WAY THAT I WANT TO, those fears disappear! I don't HAVE to pay someone to tell me how to give birth- something I am already designed to do. I don't HAVE to drag my butt to an uncomfortable hospital setting. I don't HAVE to be scared of such a simple, natural process. In the privacy of my own home, with whomever I feel comfortable with, there's no need to be embarrassed about anything. I can be MYSELF. Now I'm learning that when a woman has complete control of the way she gives birth, "complications" are less likely to occur, and if they do, I will know what to do. There is that instinct already implanted in me to protect my child before anything else.

I'm actually REALLY excited about giving birth now! It's not this lingering fear at the end of the road...



Hey Zamber, Ian's birthday is the day after mine!

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Old 05-22-2005, 06:04 AM
 
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Thank you zamber! its a relief to hear a positive response (unlike what my friends think of the idea).
Yeah, my friend laughed and said that the minute I felt the contrations I would be begging for medication. Imagine her shock and surprize when everything went on without a hitch :LOL ! She was like "How did you handle the pain?" I'm like "What pain? It was just like running a marathon - at times exhasting, but definately not painful." I pointed out to her that in both of her labor's she was given pitocin, forced to lay on her back, and given almost no food, which makes labor extremely painful. So she was kind of like "ok", and thought about it for a minute. Then she was like "Well how long did you have to push?" I said "I didn't have to do any of that - my body did that all on it's own" This was her response -

She was like "Well, I give you a lot of credit. You are so brave( ), I could never do that" And I so bad wanted to do this -


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I'm actually REALLY excited about giving birth now!
See, that's how it should be!!!

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Hey Zamber, Ian's birthday is the day after mine!
Cool!!!
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Old 05-22-2005, 12:49 PM
 
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I think that the fact that you don't have previous negative hospital exeriences to go by is WONDERFUL!!
I am having my fifth and have some fears because I have only my hospital experiences to go by.
My first baby was my best. I found the first stage unbearable because they had me on my back!!! The actually 'pushing stage' was slow and controlled and it was awesome!

My other births were in the tub and in upright positions, the labor pain was nowhere near as bad (I believe the warm water took 80% of the pain away that I felt with my first birth).
I believe with the right environment, position and being able to relax, makes ALL the difference.

It is a blessing not knowing what to expect! But I can promise you that your expectations will not even match the joy you will have when you bring forth life for the first time!! It was and still is the most wonderful memory I have.

Happy birthing!
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Old 05-22-2005, 05:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I think that the fact that you don't have previous negative hospital exeriences to go by is WONDERFUL!!
I am having my fifth and have some fears because I have only my hospital experiences to go by.
I hadn't thought about that!

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