Yes, Kate, your story really was needed here too!
I also just having discovered UC (even tho my heart said it was possible way before I found out other women were feeling that way too) have felt like I've been on a rollercoaster too!
I just had reversal surgery in Dec. 2004, then 8 weeks later I concieved, and now I am 27 weeks and discovered UC just about 3 weeks ago. It really has been like a whirlwind!! But an amazing journey as well!
Trying to sound sure of myself when I know I'm on the right path to my dh even though it is different/unfamiliar to him has been a challenge. I don't want to "talk him into it", or "convince him", I just have wanted to share with him my feelings, thoughts, and show him some testimonies, or facts about hospital births vs. homebirth stats, etc- just basically what I'm finding- and let him ask any questions or raise his concerns without me getting emotionally upset, frustrated, or impatient with him. That has been the challenge-especially while pregnant, of coarse. :LOL
But, like you, feel that the stress and work it has taken to "present the facts" or research and try to express myself in a way that's not too pushy has been hard-but worth it because we are working through our fears and questions to come and see together that it IS better (to listen to yourself and feelings) and not just let it go.
I couldn't let it go anyway...it's like a switch on me- if I think about having our baby in the hospital I get tense, anxious, can't sleep at night, or have peace of mind, afraid, even nauseous, and downright depressed.
But if I think of having our babe at home- I feel so calm, relaxed, at peace, strong, joyful, and downright empowered, I feel unafraid and can really visualize it and feel excited.
I still have the details of getting the birth certificate, ssn, and the supplies on my mind, along with how do I gracefully pull out of prenatal care with my OB, and should I bother with trying to find a midwife "just in case" even though I feel I won't want her "helping" when the time comes. So I figure when I take care of these things by finding out then, I will have complete peace and so will my dh.
I think when he really realized how much I wanted an UC was when I absolutely dreaded seeing the OB anymore. I've only had a few visits but they seem like such a waste of my time.
: I have really felt that I am already taking care of myself and have been, and am doing a fine job of it. The visits interrupt our day of homeschooling which is frustrating as well, since I feel they are unnessasary, honestly.He really agrees with these points and trusts me to be responsible. He's seen me do that already.
Having a UC just naturally goes along with how I feel already-to not be bothered with the impatient medical staff. (I was induced all three times unnessasarily)
And, he remembers how our first three births were and couldn't disagree that it was very stressful, and he's all for less stress this time.
He also, has seen how much this means to me, and I think he really believes we can do it together because he's seen me labor and give birth naturally (in an unnatural place- the hospital) even tho I did it laying flat on my back in the hospital bed, with an anesthesigiolist coming in every 5 min. asking me if I wanted drugs or an epidural and seeing me tell them " NO, I am NOT going to change my mind..leave me alone!"
-and him feeling like he was on the outside.
We both want gentler birth experiences
and to feel more in control of things.
So, I guess in my situation, what we've already been through together
speaks louder than anything in the way of persuasion. We are both persuaded that homebirth WILL be all that we hope it to be. We are just so glad for the second chance that God has given us and are very protective of our babies and birth from now on. We are just different parents all the way around, you might say.
Your testimony of how your dh felt afterwards in the end is such an encouragement to me. I want to share it with my own dh.
Congratulations on your new baby!
Looking forward to the birth of our sweet babe,
: due Oct. 31,2005
: for a beautiful UC with my husband and children