I think I'm planning a UC - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 07-30-2005, 12:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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But I'm just not sure. I only just found out that I'm pregnant (woohoo!) and when I think about the birth and how I want it to be I get all stressed and don't wanna talk about it.

History:
dd1: 10 hours of labor, water broke when I pushed, 4 of those hours were pushing, asynclitic head and hand to face. Homebirth with CNM. I loved the experience.
dd2: water broke before the onset of labor. about 15 minutes later contrax began. dd born in water approx. 90 minutes later. planned homebirth, unexpected UC (I had the same mw as before). Again, I loved the experience.

So now I'm pg with our 3rd and final dc. I truly adore my mw although she's a little more conservative than I am, at this stage of my life. That has thrown up a few red flags, although I think when it came down to it she'd follow my wishes. I've already talked to her (before I was even pg) to see how she'd feel about being in another room throughout the whole experience and only coming in if I should request her. She says she's fine w/that and has done it before. I believe her. I guess the thing that's nagging at me is that I'm not 100% comfortable with a UC (more like 99.9%). I LOVED my UC experience, although there was a part of it just after the birth where we weren't sure if dd was okay or not, but I guess I feel that a situation may arise that we simply aren't equipped to deal with - emotionally (being that it would be OUR child) more than anything else, although of course, I don't carry oxygen equipment, etc. So I guess I'm more comfortable having someone who is emotionally detached, more or less, who carries equipment I just don't have waiting in another room. I do have faith in birth and my body and believe that my chances are excellent for having a quick and uneventful experience but I still have that whole "just in case" thing going on.

Anyway, I don't know if I "qualify" to be here based on what I just described but I'm going to hang out anyway and learn as much as I can. Regardless of what I end up deciding I *want*, I have to prepare myself for another UC. I think there's a good possibility that will happen regardless.

Anyway, words of wisdom would be appreciated. TIA!

Mama to four remarkable kiddos, all born at home.
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#2 of 8 Old 08-01-2005, 11:43 AM
 
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Of course you're welcome to be here! Anybody who's interested in UC (and supportive of it) is welcome to be here, whether or not they're actually planning to birth unassisted themselves. Questions are always a good thing.

Unless you're psychic or omniscient, you're never going to be 100% sure. But the thing is, you can't be 100% sure about any choice, can you? There are no guarantees in *any* situation. The best you can do -- anybody can do -- is figure out which risks are acceptable to you to take and which aren't.

So why is it that you think you might prefer a UC?
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#3 of 8 Old 08-01-2005, 12:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fourlittlebirds
So why is it that you think you might prefer a UC?
Well, I'm a really private birther to begin with. I do like to have my dh there, but I did not feel that I required the mw's presence (or her assistant) with my first birth really. With my second they weren't there so I know I didn't require their presence. I do have a strong sense of faith in my body and in birth and I just like to turn within myself to get the job done. I don't like any stimulation at all - no talking, massaging, counter pressure, food, drinks, touch, nada. Just me and my concentration. When I was pregnant with my 2nd dd I thought about a UC but wasn't comfortable with the what-ifs. I'm basically still in that same position. I had 3 dreams that her birth was so fast that either no one made it or we weren't able to catch it on video (which I really really wanted since I didn't tape my other birth). Both things came true - too fast for the midwife to make it and although I had my dh begin taping he somehow did something wrong and we got several minutes of blank tape. So I believe that I either foresaw the events or I literally willed it on myself. Anyway, I guess I've always felt that birth is a very private, intimate event, only to be shared with your partner and kids, if applicable (if you even want that). So I don't have a strong desire to have the support of other women - although sometimes I feel as though I *should*, and I don't need or want an audience. I'm also really interested in exploring more of the sexual side of birth that Ina May talks about (although I doubt that will happen since I can't see any of that being comfortable for my extreme hands-off technique) and I wouldn't feel at all comfortable doing that in front of anyone else. I feel like I'm rambling and I apologize but I think my thoughts aren't quite clear to me yet. Thanks for letting me work this out here.

Mama to four remarkable kiddos, all born at home.
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#4 of 8 Old 08-07-2005, 01:17 AM
 
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Just popping in to lend support. UC isn't an all-or-nothing choice. Some have prenatal, some do not....and you can always without balme...wait until labor to make the choice of whether you will or will not like a mw in the house.

Home you enjoy your pregnancy. I'm plaiing my 5th, last was a UC, third had a mw in attendance and first two were hospital births. I am still not certain with what route we'll take this time, but am not worried about it either. I'll probably make a decision durring the last few weeks.

Iam also a very provate birther and find other women irritating durring birthing (distaracting at the very least) I even find dh so from time to time, but I know he needs to be there for his own reasons.

wishing you well

Carrie, The Birthteacher CCE and Doula, real mom to five; and womb-mom to G. born at 23w by emergency C. 12/09
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#5 of 8 Old 08-10-2005, 09:44 PM
 
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i am going through the same feelings as you are. we are expecting our first child and i feel so drawn to uc. i have faith in the process and my body. my only concerns are checking the baby right afterwards and any funky placenta stuff. i am a student midwife and am having to look within myself now that these feelings are coming up. i want complete privacy with this birth to move as my body allows and poissible explorations sexualy. the thing is i don't know what it will be like or what my body will do but i want my body to do "it" whatever "it" ends up being. my husband is not supportive of it, insisting a midwife because it is our first and i want him to be comfortable also but you know what i am the one who is giving birth here... I really like the advice of waiting till the birth is closer or going to happen very soon to decide.
hethi : r
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#6 of 8 Old 08-10-2005, 11:58 PM
 
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I feel a lot like you. I am totally fantasizing that either the birth happens so fast that my MWs don't make it, or that at the last second I just decide I don't need them and I only call them when the baby is already born. I know I will be very private also. In fact, one of the things I asked my MWs when interviewing them was, if I decide to do it on my own, would you be willing to just stay in the corner or in the next room? They said yes. I hope they mean it because I definitely want to do it all with just me, the baby, and dh. This being my first, I do like the security of having their services available should I need them, although I do totally trust my body.

eta: Actually, come to think about it, I almost think I want them there more for my dh's benefit than mine. If he becomes nervous about anything, they can handle the reassurance part.

Prenatal/Pediatric Chiropractor (Diplomate) , raising the next generation drug-free!
DS - CJ :, the love of my life
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#7 of 8 Old 08-12-2005, 05:12 PM
 
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Please forgive me, new here and new to the idea of natural homebirthing. We will have a homebirth with our third yet-to-be-made child, so I was reading posts on the subject of homebirths when I found this thread. What does the abbreviation "UC" mean? Are there lots of people who have unassisted births? What about after cesareans? Thanks, and pardon me for butting in.
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#8 of 8 Old 08-12-2005, 11:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It's no problem. UC is short for Unassisted Childbirth. Yes, lots of people do it even after cesareans. There's good info about it here. Hope this helps.

Mama to four remarkable kiddos, all born at home.
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