keeping knowledge of pregnancy within the family? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 11-06-2005, 10:15 PM - Thread Starter
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i'm just musing...don't need advice, just wanna chat...
when i had my first child (freeborn), i was 22 and full of piss and vinegar...i was not tired, i had a low-stress life and was in good health and great spirits...
it was no big deal when total strangers were up in my business ('when does the doctor say you're due?', etc). i could look them in the eye, smile and say 'what doctor? i'm not sick!' etc...this did not bother me; i felt on top of the world and 100% right about my baby coming into my life...
i was always positive with these people, unless they were downright shitty to me...i worked in retail and on a college campus, so i got a lot of questions, you know how people feel they can impose on your privacy when you're pg, it's worse when you work in a retail shop in the suburbs!
i figure, any time after the first child, you aren'te as likely to have time and patience for that kind of crap!
i think if i were to have a 3rd, i would not discuss it with anyone except my partner and other people who were already on board 100% the first times...
i think i would keep it completely to myself, and if people asked when i was due, i would look at them like they were crazy and say 'i'm not pg', just to keep them from prying. wear big clothes and the like, maybe stay home and nest the last month...
i think i couldn't be all things to all people again, and would want a place of deep peace and privacy to make it through a pg as an already mom...
anyone else done this or feel any connection to these feelings?
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#2 of 3 Old 11-07-2005, 12:38 AM
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When I found out I was expecting my 3rd, the only people who knew were the ones at church, as it is very difficult for me to hide a pg past 3 mo ( I look like a basketball!) I didn't tell my inlaws til I was 5 months, when we went up for thanksgiving, and they saw me in person, and I didn't tell MY folks at all, til my dad came to bring Christmas presents for the girls, and my belly was Wayyyy out! he looked at me like i had messed with the mailman!! I told him, "excuse me, it is legal for me to sleep with my husband and we are looking forward to this baby! " Nothing more was said about it, and Jeremiah was the only grandson with the Wimmer last dad eventually got over his stupidity, and marvels at how he turned out so far(he's 16)..... stick to your guns. I would do the privacy thing too...
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#3 of 3 Old 11-07-2005, 04:15 PM
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I can't imagine not sharing a pregnancy with people. I just couldn't do it. It's not a secret thing, to me. I can see why people (you) would do it, but I couldn't do it. I'm happy to be pregnant. I want people to share in it. Stupid comments and all. I want people to feel my babies kick, to celebrate as I grow, to think of me when Ilabor, to marvel at my newborn. I should hope there is NEVER a circumstance in my life that would keepme from engaging others in my pregnancy. I feel unhappy for women who feel the need to keep it s asecret. Babies are such wonderful things! So many people, young girls especially, walk around hiding pregnancies. it truly saddens me. A time when new life is arriving, a time for sharing, for learning...completely hidden away. Yes, it must benice to have theat little hidden knowledge to yourself. "I'm growing a baby and nobody knows it!!" Like a funlittle secret. I don't like keeping secrets. It's stressful to keep secrets. And that's certainly not an easilykept secret. There is no way onearth I could even physically hide a pregnancy aside from shutting myself inside the entire time. And whathappens if I up and decide Ineed to share about it? People are gonna be p*ssed because I hid it from them. I wouldn't want to mess with that either. So no, I couldn't and wouldn't ever hide a pregnancy.

Namaste, Tara
mama to Doodle (7), Butterfly (2), and Rythm (due at home 1/06)
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