I can really relate to your situation. My dd had a mismanaged homebirth w/midwife the first go- around, and ended up with a section. She decided that her next would Definitely be born VBAC, but could find noone to deliver her, all the way from home midwives, to CNM at the hosp., to Drs. She decided to put her trust wholly in the LORD who creates all life, and brings it forth from the womb. My granddaughter was born UC in my home with only myself, her dh and the Good LORD attending. WE ARE BLESSED!!
My short list?? Prayer/ Trust in Him. HE IS WORTHY TO BE PRAISED!
Practical stuff?? We don't birth in tubs or on beds, as one is too hard and the other too soft! (yes, just call me Goldilocks!)
I personally make a nest on the floor with pillows for eack knee, clean blankets and towels over that, then the bedpads (chux) to easily clean up messes. They are not neccesary, but nice to have- also large garbage bags to put all the mess in. (I don't like the plastic tarp idea... I just hate plastic.
I always have a bottle of peroxide on hand so that I do not have to worry if any mess gets on the carpet or blankets. (somehow it always does, a bit) The peroxide gets it all out, then just launder towels, etc. in **cold.** I learned Not to birth on my best sleeping bag (the hard way!) as noone took it to the laundrymat within a decent time frame, so I threw it out. Use smaller blankets that can be washed at home.
We use betadine to wash mom off before and after, (a sqeeze bottle with diluted betadine in it is good for afterwards to keep infection at bay, unless you have something herbal?) I just keep it in the bathroom, and use it for about a week. It helps the pain of any tears to squirt it on warm When you pee.
For the cord? Yarn or shoelace works fine for that, but I hear Not to use round laces, as they come undone. Make sure they are flat ones. And new.
Sharp metal scissors. I stress SHARP. The cord is much tougher than you would think. Boil first. Put betadine on cord.
Clean towels to hold baby in at first, before cleaning him off.
Make sure you have baby's clothes all ready and laid out. Try to make it simple, but very warm. And diapers. Remember a hat. VERY important. Baby needs to wear hat 2-3 days. Yes, indoors.
I can't think of a whole lot else....OH!! maxi pads.
A suction bulb to clean baby's nose/ mouth... a thermometer.... If this is too much to think of, you may still have time to order a birth kit. They are around $50. or so. (I don't get one, as I don't use half the stuff in there. ) You can try www.birthsupplies.com/catalog
If you want to get Dad a book, I've had reccommended to me a book called "Emergency Childbirth" by Gregory White, M.D..... I haven't seen it yet, though, so ask around to see what others might think.
Juice/ snacks for you during labor.... a birthday cake for after... I can sit here all night typing! I really don't think I have a short list!! I'm sorry!! I hope this help and doesn't boggle you with too much info! Good luck, sweetie!!