UC Support Thread #26 February 2006 - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 94 Old 02-15-2006, 07:53 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amyjeans
I told her it's the latest "thing" (boy did that chap her butt )


Hi Amyjean! It's good to be back. I pray that it will continue! We're all doing great.. still working on ttc, but not hard enough to say we're really trying.. there is just too much going on to focus on charts or anything. Just hoping it happens, and working on building my nutritional strength, which I am finding is seriously lacking!! Going towards the 'quiverful' side of the house on baby making, and trying to be patient.

Can I just say that I LOVE that Yvonne knows exactly what Tabitha is dealing with? I mean, can we find anything that wonderful anywhere but among other uc mamas?


lizzie

It's such a relief to finally trust yourself.
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#62 of 94 Old 02-15-2006, 10:17 PM
 
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welcome tabitha and erin!

wow, this thread is hoppin.

Erin: My family and friends were (still are) a 15 hour plane ride away. I didn't tell my mom till I had enough solid confidence that UC was the way i wanted to go, and had addressed my fears...and had an "answer" or response to the oh-so-common question: what about complications????? Anyway, it was hard, and she finally decided she was willing to do some reading if it would calm her worries a bit (they would never actually disappear ). Basically, I kept the info given at a comfortable minimum, and let it gently be known that i was already firm in my decision. it didnt always feel good "not telling the whole truth" but i knew that it was what i had to do to protect myself and my babe from any extra stress yk? and i'm glad i went that route, becuase they now know the whole story and why i kinda held back on details. good luck mama, lots of love and support here for you! and congrats!!!!

tabitha: imo, the whole society-fear thing stems from greed. Someone wants to make a buck and will go to whatever means to get it, whether it be lying to and scaring the potential "customer" or actually providing a useful/harmless/high-quality/honest product or service. After taking a class on "producing mass public opinion" i don't watch tv, read newspapers or magazines without an extremely critical eye/ear. i try to stay away from any media-related production in general, as difficult as it can be.


uh oh, mil is on a rampage, gtg

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#63 of 94 Old 02-15-2006, 10:44 PM
 
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Originally Posted by shell024


uh oh, mil is on a rampage, gtg
: Run!
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#64 of 94 Old 02-16-2006, 01:27 AM
 
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Originally Posted by tabitha
i also have some family i cannot/ choose not to tell right now. the trouble of arguing with these people would be immense.
Thats the same issue with me- I don't think I can stand up to my mother. She doesn't really listen to reason or statistics. I say "many women who have birth in a hospital end up being swept along with routine procedures that they do not want." She responds with "No they don't. I've had five kids. There are reasons for things being done, and you have to stop fighting the system!"

::headdesk::

She mainly just cannot handle the fact that you can trust your body to know whats going on. I truly believe that her five natural births were a fluke of the system- it likely helped that the first three were in the early 80s....

At any rate, I'm excited to finally be about to vault into my second trimester and see the other side of the queasiness and exhaustion (I hope!)!
The more I see other first time mothers get worked up over tests and procedures, the more I am happy that I can have this peaceful instinctual pregnancy.

Mama to Raina (9/06) and Peter (8/09)!
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#65 of 94 Old 02-16-2006, 10:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Funny Funny little tidbit I have to share.
Yesterday my dh tells me about a meeting he held with his staff. Basically talking about thier business of sales & insurance etc. So he tells me that Bush wants to support OBs in the business of babybirthing and wants to cut the medicare budget because of theexpense, etc...(not quite sure the whole topic- BUT) he says to a room full of businessmen & women;
"I will tell you how to save billions of dollars a year-homebirth. The average cost of a hospital birth is $20,000.00, and upwards of $70,000.00 if surgery is involved. Multiply that by the number of hospital births done in the country and the savings alone would supply every american with free medicare for life."
"solve the "tort" reform, and elimiate the need for such costly malpractice suits - homebirth. Take the problem out of the equation (OB's) and the costs decrease tremendously."
Then he said;" With the cost of C-sections, based on the fact most are unnecessary, well, do the math!"
A male atendee to the meeting said; "You mean some c-sections are not necessary?"

:LOL


Oh how I love that man of mine.

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#66 of 94 Old 02-16-2006, 10:43 AM
 
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as of right now i think we arent going to get the rhogam shot. man, researching can be brutal.

i need to let go of so much fear. what am i afraid of? the majority of my choices have been good. i can trust myself now, ok?


sigh.

Hi, I'm Tabitha. I'm a homeschooling mother of four: ds (11) dd (9) ds (7) ds (5) And I'm expecting a fifth in 2014! Find me at http://www.omelay.blogspot.com
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#67 of 94 Old 02-16-2006, 11:35 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ErinBird
She responds with "No they don't. I've had five kids. There are reasons for things being done, and you have to stop fighting the system!"
Just me, but i'd say "hmm...stop fighting the system... *in a dreamy tone* mom your right! I will not fight the system, i will just stay out of it!" then go off into spacey pregnancy delirium just me though (my mom knows i'd say something like that though : )

Quote:
Originally Posted by amyjeans
A male atendee to the meeting said; "You mean some c-sections are not necessary?"
laughup good lord, this made me wanna hold a "real" birth education convention.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tabitha
i need to let go of so much fear. what am i afraid of?
something going wrong? guilt if something does? what would "they" say? making the wrong decisions? There are so many things we can be afraid of, and many within good reason too (nowadays). BUT, we have to make scary decisions our whole lives, and as mothers, we can only do our best to gain enough knowlegde to make the best decision that we can at the present moment in our current unique circumstance, and *try* not to feel guilty if it turns out that that wasn't the decision we should have made. This is sooo hard mama, but only you know in your heart what is the right thing for you and your family. The "what ifs" will always be there. How I suppressed mine? more knowledge! You are already doing that and should be very proud of yourself for taking that time and care for your babe. I think it helped me a lot when I totally accepted all responsibility for my child's birth (well, my dp too...but everyone has their own unique situation)...whether that means a healthy child born peacefully at home, or one that isn't. It is very easy when you have someone else in charge of your birth to put blame and anger towards them, and it doesn't get rid of the problem.
Are you able to pinpoint any of your fears? We can help you sort them out if that's what you need.

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#68 of 94 Old 02-16-2006, 12:01 PM
 
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Originally Posted by amyjeans
Then he said;" With the cost of C-sections, based on the fact most are unnecessary, well, do the math!"
A male atendee to the meeting said; "You mean some c-sections are not necessary?"
Oh that is SO funny! And yet... so so sad..

*is going to go cramp over there for awhile, uuuugh*

Mum to DS (8yrs), DD (6yrs), and DS(3.5yrs). kid.gif

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#69 of 94 Old 02-16-2006, 12:15 PM
 
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Joining in here.

My name is Tana (pronounced like Donna except with a T) and I just got a faint positive pg test yesterday. AF is expected Saturday, and 18 days from O will be Tuesday. So I'm assuming I am pg with more confirmation to come.

You can read my first birth story here. The whole process of TTC has made me do some serious soul-searching and processing the experience of my first birth. I've spent a lot of time in the MDC P&B forums as well as at many of the sites referenced here. I have decided that I am planning a hospital birth (including prenatal care by the same OB I had last time) but preparing for an unassisted birth.

I've read both of Ina May's books and still want to read Birthing from within. I love the analogy that giving birth is like having sex - you need privacy and you need to totally relax and focus on what you're doing in order to for it to be successful and not cause unnecessary pain. And it is with that concept that I will introduce the idea of UC to my DH. I do not expect him to be wholly supportive at first, but if I proceed slowly and appeal to his rational mind, I think I can get him to be comfortable with the idea.

I am somewhat fearful of what my DH will think, but I am even more fearful of what might happen if I end up at the hospital. Granted, their birthing tubs are much nicer than the bathtub I have here at home. However, I have a dear friend who just gave birth to her second child and ended up with a c-section - the baby was posterior and "stuck" and after trying vacuum and forceps, the two doctors attending her gave up. The next time I opened up Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, I opened randomly right to the page where they press the woman's pelvis to help deliver a baby that is "stuck" and I wonder what might have happened if they had tried that with my friend - would they have gotten similar results?

After my first birth, I still feel very disappointed in the support I got from my caregivers. I expected them to coach me and tell me what positions to try, etc. in order to successfully delivery naturally. Granted, I was very coachable when I was so tired and in so much pain. So I decided that next time, I will learn everything myself and expect those around me to simply support me (bring me a glass of water if I ask for it) rather than figuring out what I need to do and convincing me to do it. I am already practicing prenatal yoga daily and am very intent on being in-tune with my body. I love science - I was pre-med in college - and I love how Ina May describes the actual process of a birth in the midwife section of Spiritual Midwifery. Granted, she is a little bit more interventionist than I would like, but I love how she describes the actual mechanics of what is going on - how to tell where the baby is, how it maneuvers through the birth canal, etc. Understanding of the mechanical process along with being very in-tune with my body I think will help me achieve a natural birth next time much more easily. And if I know all of that information anyway, why risk going to the hospital and risk someone contradicting what my body is telling me or intervening unncessesarily so that I have to deal with that rather than just going with the energy flow of the birth? So that is my greatest fear - that someone will tell me to do something that my body isn't telling me to do, that I will be knocked off-balance by having to process that, and that I might even do as they say and stop listening to my body and thus end up going down a path that leads to unnecessary complications which lead to interventions that I do not want.

Which explains why I am so attracted to the idea of an unassisted birth. In my state, midwives are not allowed to attend births at home (they do practice at the hospital). While I do know of women who have had homebirths with midwives, there is the cost, and having a midwife does not allay my fear that I will be told to do something that isn't really what I should do. I will know if I need to transfer (trusting my intuition), and if I do transfer, I will have the people attending me whom I most trust to help me birth as naturally as possible in a hospital setting.

So again...joining in here. I am very grateful for this forum, the information here as well as the support from others who understand what I am thinking.

Tana, wife to Steve (5/02), mom to Ben (7/03), Joey (10/06) and Caroline (9/09)
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#70 of 94 Old 02-17-2006, 03:05 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tabitha
as of right now i think we arent going to get the rhogam shot. man, researching can be brutal.

i need to let go of so much fear. what am i afraid of? the majority of my choices have been good. i can trust myself now, ok?


sigh.
Please please please read this book it helps so much w/the fear.

I ultimately decided to get the rhogam as I want more kids, and while I'm sure I haven't been sensitized, I would rather continue to go UC and not have to worry about any blood issues during the pregnancy. I could not imagine getting sensitized and having to have all those tests and such all the freakin' pregnancy and then a...gasp..hospital birth. I shudder at the thought.

Oh and getting rhogam, I was seeing a mw until 34 1/2 weeks who, in theory was okay w/me going UC, but as time progressed started getting very anxious about it (they are licensed in this state and she was worried about CYA--totally understand). But she was the one I paid out of pocket to come to my house and take my placenta blood to the hospital (which was + on the eldon cards), and then bring me some rhogam and shoot me in the butt

What I ended up doing was leaving the cord attached for some time, a good hr or two, kinda fuzzy now, and when I cut the cord there was still some drops of blood at the cord that I could have used if I knew they would have been there (next time, I'd get the eldon card ready w/the water and such). Sorry, getting tired, hope this makes sense Anywho, I had some syringes and extracted from blood from baby's side of the placenta and used that to test on the eldon cards and enough to put in a test-tube for my mw to take to the hospital (to avoid testing baby). And after that, I ate it

I did not want to walk up to my hospital and request rhogam. Did not feel safe at all.

hth
Amy
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#71 of 94 Old 02-17-2006, 10:14 AM
 
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if i didnt want (or expect) more babies, i wouldnt be troubling myself with the decision at all. so that is a given.


if the people who wrote that book were interested in informing the public, maybe they could have made it affordable? $27 for a little 176 page paperback?

i am sorry if i sound aggressive, but this morning i am just tired of people telling me that this decision is easy: 'if i want more babies, i have to have the shot!'

there is no midwife here that will do that, if we were still in california perhaps... but the shot itself is 100 dollars. if we do seek this shot, it has to be covered by medicaid. and i so dont want to be under OB care.

tabitha

Hi, I'm Tabitha. I'm a homeschooling mother of four: ds (11) dd (9) ds (7) ds (5) And I'm expecting a fifth in 2014! Find me at http://www.omelay.blogspot.com
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#72 of 94 Old 02-19-2006, 06:40 PM
 
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I'm really not sure why you felt you needed to attack me? I got the e-mail notification before MDC went down, and I was able to read what you wrote, think about it, before coming here.

And I still am wondering what prompted all your hostility at me.

I simply stated what my choice was (which is inherent in a message board, isn't it), and gave you a reference to help w/your research and helping "the fear". I really don't know what to tell you re: the author getting her information out....I mean it is a book and there is a book industry and such. She did a lot of research to put the book together and probably spent a lot of $ to do so, so she is probably trying to recop some of her expenses, and make a living. I'm sorry that this is so offensive to you. I know this book can be found at libraries, and if your library doesn't carry it, they can special order it for you from another library. That way you don't have to spend the $27.

And I don't know your situation about obtaining the shot, so I'm wondering if again, *my* experience w/my local hospital, somehow upset you. As I cannot comment on your hospital, only my VT hospital which is incredibly backwards and hostile, that is where my comment of "I did not want to walk up to my hospital and request rhogam. Did not feel safe at all". came from--my experience.

And at this point in my life, I would probably get another rhogam even if I was "done", only b/c we will not be taking any drastic measures to stop having children, and there is a definite chance of an "oops" baby coming.
Again, this is only my experience and my post is an expression of that.

Regardless, I really recommend the book as it is tremendous w/helping the fear. It breaks down all your risk factors, all the things you can do to prevent micro bleeds and so forth.

And it really sucks that we have to think about this. I cannot tell you how much having to be faced w/the rhogam crap pissed me off. And I totally feel for you. It is just not fair. And I cannot tell you how excited I am that my first son is negative, b/c I know that his future wife will not be faced w/the rhogam crap.

I'm babbling.

Anyway, best of luck in your journey.
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#73 of 94 Old 02-19-2006, 07:13 PM
 
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AMyd, i didnt attack you. i do feel the book is overpriced, but i certainly dont blame you. and i am tired of people telling me the decision is simple, but you are not one of those people. i even apologized for my tone in the post, because i knew my stress over this whole thing would come out in the post. i am sorry you felt i was attacking.

i might have said the same thing about libraries when i lived in california. now i live in a rural area and have come to know that small towns dont have libraries that special order *anything*. oh, well!

again, i dont blame you for anything, and i am not attacking you. if you perceive these things, please read this sentence and know that i am not.

i am sharing my opinions as we all are... is that okay?

tabitha

Hi, I'm Tabitha. I'm a homeschooling mother of four: ds (11) dd (9) ds (7) ds (5) And I'm expecting a fifth in 2014! Find me at http://www.omelay.blogspot.com
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#74 of 94 Old 02-19-2006, 07:24 PM
 
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Good to hear. I was hoping I was reading too much into it. I'm sorry if I jumped on you.

And, no, it is not an easy decision at all. That's why it is so frustrating.

And I would be glad to lend you my copy, just as long as I can get it back PM me your address and I can send it out to you ASAP

Amy
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#75 of 94 Old 02-20-2006, 11:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Now that I can FINALLY log on and post......
Welcome Pageta! I'll add you to the list- and happy journey Mama!
Any babies come yet? mine is starting to overcrown his little apartment and might need to move out soon. I am truly waddling as I cannot for the life of me put my legs together.
Every once in a while, I feel that little bit of cartilage on the front of my pelvis S T R E T C H and ooh does that ache!
I'm beginning to remember what labor feels like- the pressue on my rectum and tightening of my tummy- how fun!!!
Just 3 days ago, I think my clock started...the countdown actually... because I was feeling fine, minor brax then Thursday am, I woke to some powerful working flexes. I drank a ton of water and that settled things down a bit, but over the weekend, I was flexing all the time.
what do you think? 3 weeks? more , less?

I'm betting Mar 14th! Who knows.
whoo hooo BRING IT ON!!!

lots of love to you all!
aj

Mama to 5 babies. UCer, too!
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#76 of 94 Old 02-21-2006, 08:28 AM
 
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I bet baby will arrive before May! Mine too... bwahahaha. My lil one is outta space too.. poor dear.. keeps trying to kick and stretch for room, but there just isn't any. Which one of us will go first? hmmm.. stay tuned! Heheh.

Mum to DS (8yrs), DD (6yrs), and DS(3.5yrs). kid.gif

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#77 of 94 Old 02-21-2006, 01:17 PM
 
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Checking in mamas...

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#78 of 94 Old 02-21-2006, 01:33 PM
 
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gentle labor/birth vibes to you mamas who are getting ready!!!

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#79 of 94 Old 02-21-2006, 11:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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keep those vibes going mamas.
Here's my scope- Today was not a good day for me. my BP was 136/93 and I felt very physically strained. Baby is still doing laps in my tummy and I can only believe head down- because my pelvis is stretching more and more every day.
When Sydney was only 2 weeks away from birth, my BP was a bit on the higher side- so I bought some blue cohosh and brewed a cup a night- which dropped my BP significantly. Dh is going to get some tomarrow as I feel the clock is ticking now and I've got about 2 weeks left.
I spoke to the baby and said it's okay to come out- there is a heck of a lot more room out here than in there- despite what your sisters may do!
I'm not swollen, bit have a bit of a headache today. Starting my daily chlorophyll, and teas to get things in line- I also am increasing my food intake as best as I can- my appetite has been lacking lately.
I read a post from Pamamidwife once that stated towards the very end of the pregnancy, bp normally goes up because the placenta is really demanding the blood now. Working hard to grow baby and deliver.
As long as I keep my BP under 140/90 over a 24 hr period, things are good.
This is a total repeat of Sydney's birth.

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#80 of 94 Old 02-22-2006, 12:31 AM
 
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Have you looked into the cream of tartar protocol?? I'm in bed w/my boys so I can't get the book, but it is in Susun Weed's "Wise Woman for the childbearing year". Its been discussed all over MDC. When the search function works you can look for it. I know it is cream of tartar, lemon and water, but not sure of the amts and how often for how long, etc.
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#81 of 94 Old 02-22-2006, 01:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I tried that, and it didn't have any effect. I have the best luck with the cohosh. I also am starting to take garlic every day, too.

Mama to 5 babies. UCer, too!
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#82 of 94 Old 02-24-2006, 11:42 PM
 
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you all are a breath of fresh air.

baby *5* is now slightly over a month old and a fantastic fatty We are just so in love with the little dear, she smiles coos and gurgles. I gave her her first bath tonight and was slightly sad to wash the vernix from between her toes and fat rolls. I'm gald at my decision to allow dh to get snipped, my body has taken all these births and babies too hard..still I'm going to miss birthing!

Where and how else can a woman express herself so freely than UC?

I'm embarking on a "new" career next month and slightly dragging my feet. Books arrived today, my office is all set, but I dread the idiocy I'm afraid I'll find teaching birthing classes. I've been scanning other mainstream boards and shocked at the stupid questions I'm seeing "you mean I don't HAVE to be cut?" :Puke I did go to a thing and met some great women though, so maybe what I see online isn't typical? I've been isolating myself these past few years and take too much for granted! It's my basic nature to enjoy swimming upstream...kinda freaks me out when people do what they're "supposed" to

wishing those growing health and those birthing joy!!

Carrie, The Birthteacher CCE and Doula, real mom to five; and womb-mom to G. born at 23w by emergency C. 12/09
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#83 of 94 Old 02-26-2006, 10:53 PM
 
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Amyjeans... when did you become a senior member?? Congratulations.. I just noticed. Well done! Hope your blood pressure is going down and your enthusiasm is going up!! Can't wait to hear how things go for you!

Rockies5.. how wonderful that you're venturing out into the world of actually educating some birthing mothers.. with everything you'll have to offer! Will you really be able to talk about UC/UP and how beautifully that's worked for you? At least let them know that you've done it, so they can come to you with questions? or are you restricted due to legalities? I'm in CO too.. wonder how they do that. Can you offer "alternative" birthing education classes? I know what you mean about being freaked out by the mainstream.. I forget I'm the lone ranger in my family sometimes.. and shock and appall my well intentioned and badly misinformed relatives, to say nothing of some friends. Anyway.. that's great!!

I keep thinking by the time I get back you some of you will have babies to tell me about! Love and happy births to those of you on the verge!!


lizzie

It's such a relief to finally trust yourself.
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#84 of 94 Old 02-27-2006, 07:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey Thanks Lizzie!
now that I can finally log in- how is everyone out there doing?
Anything happening?
I give this baby 2 more weeks.

Mama to 5 babies. UCer, too!
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#85 of 94 Old 02-28-2006, 02:34 AM
 
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Just checking in and seeing how things are. Also need to whine for a second: I'm sick and feel like crud...yay. I have a cold and I'm trynig to figure out how to make myself more comfy and more able to be "mom" ugh.

AmyJean- you're still pregnant? I'm sending you some labor vibes lol

ahhh kid needs me gotta go
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#86 of 94 Old 02-28-2006, 04:54 AM
 
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I'm fine.. still doing the in and out of labor dance.. I asked for a gentle birth, I am getting one, for sure!

Hope spring is starting for some of you.. snowing here today. Makes me wanna just cuddle up with a cup o chai tea and some good tunes.

Mum to DS (8yrs), DD (6yrs), and DS(3.5yrs). kid.gif

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#87 of 94 Old 02-28-2006, 12:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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uggh yes, still pregnant. This baby is taking his/her sweet time. I am having contx but mainly from a bit of dehydration.
I am drinking blue cohosh every night- and it dropped my BP significantly. Thank goodness!
How you doin Yvonne? feeling ready?

Mama to 5 babies. UCer, too!
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#88 of 94 Old 02-28-2006, 12:29 PM
 
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Ack, blue cohosh scares the bejeebers out of me. How about EFAs (fish oil) to drop your blood pressure?

Also wanted to mention, Feebeeglee had her baby. You can read about it here: http://phoebe.gleeson.us/
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#89 of 94 Old 02-28-2006, 12:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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why does it scare you?
Thanks for the link by the way.

Mama to 5 babies. UCer, too!
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#90 of 94 Old 02-28-2006, 09:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Greetings Ladies!
Wonderful news! (no baby yet...ha ha ha)
I have discovered how challenging it would be to continue to manage this thread with a new baby coming so I have passed the torch to fourlittlebirds. She will continue our support thread and I feel very confident it will be managed well.
Thank you all for your support and guidance through the thread and I look forward to throwing my new uc story up there as well!!

Lots of Love
Amyjean

Mama to 5 babies. UCer, too!
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