UC support thread #27 March 2006 - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 130 Old 03-02-2006, 04:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Welcome to the UC support thread! Unassisted birth (UC) is birth without a medical professional present and without anyone acting in a midwifing capacity. (This does not mean that the mother has no support, just that the labor is not managed and guided from without.) If you are planning a UC and would like to be listed here, please PM the originator of this thread (and let us know if you change your mind previous to going into labor so we can keep the list stats accurate.) And please remember to check back in with us after your birth to let us know how it went!

Previous UC support threads:

1 ... 2 ... 3 ... 4 ... 5 ... 6 ... 7 ... 8 ... 9 ... 10 ...
11 ... 12 ... 13 ... 14 ... 15 ... 16 ... 17 ... 18 ... 19 ... 20 ...
21 ... 22 ... 23 ... 24 ... 25 ... 26

Roll Call...

ishtarmaia -- UC 7/20/00
Journey -- UC 01/19/01
indigolilybear -- UC 5/01 story
fourlittlebirds (formerly blueviolet) -- UC 7/01 story
brown eyed girls -- UC 08/01
rajahkat -- UC 9-6-01
laurata -- UC 3/02 story
starfairy -- UC 7/02
Unoppressed MAMA Q -- UC 9/02
Journey -- UC 10/20/02
JesseMomme -- UC 11/02 story
Chiromom -- UC 2/03 story
Mamaperk -- UC 6/03 story
Unoppressed MAMA Q -- UC 9/03
andrea -- UC 8/03 story
FreeRangeMama -- UC 9/03
yvonnemlv -- hospital transfer 9/03 story
Aurora -- UC 10/03 story
Whit -- UC 11/03
kitty waltz -- UBAC 11/12/03
brown eyed girls -- UC 12/03
2much2luv -- UC 1/04
thechrysalis -- UC 1/04
Mothernature -- UC 1/04
indigolilybear -- UC 3/04 pics
citizenfong -- UC 3/04 pics
7kiddosmom -- UC 3/04
Carrieanders (now Rockies5) -- UC 4/10/04 story
Chaka Falls -- UC 4/04
rajahkat -- UC 5-7-04 story/pics
amyamanda -- UC 5/04 story
Karenpl -- UC 06/04 story
bookwormmama -- UC 6/04
grnbn76 -- cesarean 7/04 story
Hathor -- UC 7/04 story
majazama -- UC 7/04 story
gr8fulmom -- UC 7/04 story
una13mama -- UC 7/04
Chandar -- UC 7/04 story
Klothos -- UC 7/23/04 story
madrone -- UC 8/19/04
TinyBabyBean -- midwife-attended 8/04 story
violet -- UC 8/19/04
Oshunmama -- midwife-attended 8/04
lovemygirl -- UC 9/9/04 story
mellie-bellie -- UC 9/27/04 story
fourlittlebirds (formerly blueviolet) -- UC 9/04 story
JesseMomme -- UC 9/21/04 story
StacyL -- hospital transport 9/19/04 story
4xmamamia -- UC 9/30/04 story
amyjeans -- UC 10/9/04 story
rachel -- UC 10/25/04 story
DancerMom -- UC 11/12/04 story
Ame -- UC 12/9/04 story
laurata -- UC 12/10/04 story
Lula's Mom -- UC 12/12/04 story
AmyD -- UC December 04 story
Asheville Mama -- UC 1/3/05
zonapellucida -- midwife-attended 1/2005
ishtarmaia -- UC stillborn 1/21/05 story1 story2
Chiromom -- UC 1/23/05 story
Dandylion -- UC 2/1/2005 story
Hayliesmom -- UC 2/16/05
mehndi mama -- UC 2/12/05
KateSt. -- UC 2/17/05 story
Kinsey43 -- UC 3/10/05
hawkfeather -- unhindered w/mw 3/24/05 story/pics
jenniebug -- homebirth with midwife 3/26/05
sprinkle pocket -- UC 3/23/05
Mamagaia -- UC 4/1/05
liamandpipersmama -- UC 4/17/05 story
FreeRangeMama -- UC 4/22/05 story
june'smom -- UC 6/3/05
cresorchid -- UC 6/29/05 story
SunflowerMama -- UC 6/05 story
amandaanne -- UC 7/14/05 story
Devaskyla -- UC 7/15/05
Skim -- UC 7/18/05 story
ecurlycue -- UC 7/26/05 story
heldt123 -- hospital transfer 7/29/05 story
Binah Yeteirah -- UC 7/29/2005 story
moonlightinvt -- UC 8/1/05 story
rainbowmoon -- hospital transfer VBAC 8/10/05 story
Quickening -- UC 8/17/05 story
ChildoftheMoon -- UC 8/25/05 (1st planned uc born still 7/19/04 peacefully at home with mw story)
shell024 -- UC 8/30/05 story
hoppytoad -- UC 8/31/05
NoworNever -- UC 9/21/05 story
Worldshakerz -- UC 9/30/05 story
teachinmaof3 -- UC 10/05 story
thegoodgeeks -- UC 10/10/05
Tuckersmom -- UC 10/10/05 story
movingon -- hospital transfer 10/15/05 story
RiceMomma -- UC 10/26/05 story
Oetien -- UC 10/30/05 story
brandybehr -- UC 11/05
Mama to 4 -- Cesarean 11/1/05
bailey228 -- hospital transfer 11/14/05
milquetoast -- Cesarean 11/18/05 story
Viritidas -- UC 11/24/05 story
Folkymom -- UC 11/26/05 story
Arora the Explorer -- unhindered with mw 12/10/05 story
kynd mama -- UBAC 12/17/05
Mamaperk -- UC 12/17/05
mykidsrock -- UC 12/18/05 story
hottmama -- UC 12/21/05
InnieTurnedOuttie -- UC 12/25/05 story
IamIris (Angel) -- UC 1/2/06 story
XM -- UC 1/8/06
lioralourie -- UC 1/14/06
Rockies5 (was carrieanders)-- UC 1/20/06
feebeeglee -- UC 2/06
yvonnemlv -- UC 3/01/06
amyjeans -- UC 3/06
sofysmommy -- UC 3/06

Expecting...

KathleenRay EDD 2/06
muskokan EDD 2/10/06
weegift333 EDD 3/06 UCAC
cjuniverse EDD 4/06
rachel EDD 4/06
brown eyed girls EDD 4/06
zonapellucida EDD 5/06
djinneyah EDD 4/10/06
rajahkat EDD 5/06
Anakna4 EDD 5/21/06
nursinmamaa EDD 6/20/06
lillake EDD 6/06
thenson229 EDD 6/8/06
starfairy EDD 7/06 (1st UC 6/94, 2nd UC 4/97, 3rd UC (also listed above) 7/02)
Aurora EDD 7/06
CalebsMama05 EDD 7/06
BirthFree EDD 8/30/06
Milkimommi EDD 9/06
CryPixie83 EDD 9/06
ErinBird EDD 9/06
Mama2Lennon EDD 9/06
Evergreen EDD 10/7/06
Tori Gollihugh EDD 10/9/06
thegoodgeeks EDD 10/07/06
littleteapot EDD 10/06 UCAC
Tabitha EDD 10/16/06
Avani 10/17/06
pageta EDD ?
Sheacoby EDD 11/03/06
AngelBee EDD Oct/Nov 06
Connorsmum EDD 11/15/06
Connorsmum's partner EDD 11/10/06
Kathryn 11/06

TTC UCer's...

lizzie
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#2 of 130 Old 03-02-2006, 04:11 PM
 
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Will you add me to expecting my EDD is Nov 3, 2006.

Thank you,
Heather

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
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#3 of 130 Old 03-02-2006, 04:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I was just looking at our numbers, and although our group is so small as to probably be considered statistically insignificant, I still think it's interesting:

Out of 110 with a desire to UC (although not all were necessarily attempted,)

95 were successful UCs,

6 ended up being midwife-attended homebirth, and

9 were hospital transports including 3 cesareans.
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#4 of 130 Old 03-03-2006, 12:48 AM
 
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wow- that's cool!

Mama to 5 babies. UCer, too!
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#5 of 130 Old 03-03-2006, 12:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah, I think so!

So, people, give me your thoughts on this. I am thinking of updating the UC list by taking off any of the people who had midwife-attended births, *unless* they were originally planning UC but during the course of the birth felt that extra help was warranted. In some of the births on our roll call, that is just clearly not the case. I'm not sure why these stories are on the roll call at all.
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#6 of 130 Old 03-03-2006, 12:58 PM
 
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i think it is a good idea, four little birds. i am due the 16th, not the 6th, but who cares? only baby knows when for sure!

in other news, a friend told me something (well, i forced her to tell me, she wasnt going to tell!) and now it is all i can think about. i am not going to repeat the story she told me which inspired this. i am sure this is a typical worry/fear.

i really do not want an ultrasound, for so many reasons, some of which are intangible... they include 1) the risks of u/s 2) the risks of becoming involved with a doctor to get one 3) the things i dont want to know. there are a lot of them. i would rather find out at the birth. and so on. in fact i am pretty seriously opposed to u/s.

but no one else seems to feel that way. everyone thinks, why not get one? they're safe! why not?

my only reservation is the 'what-if-there-is-something-wrong-that-could-be fixed/prevented....' scenario. and when i have soul searched this in the past, i have felt (as heartless as some people feel this sounds) that if my baby is meant to live, it will. and if it is right that it should die, it will. God (forgive my religiuos viewpoint, i know not all are) gave me the desire to give birth unassisted, the ability. and while some people claim that God gave us modern science and U/S and everything,the it is wrong not to use it, i dont really see it that way.

if my baby dies after birth of something i could have prevented with U/S knowledge, is it my fault?

in nature, we would never know. we would just have to accept the death. but in this reality, someone would want an autopsy (do they make you have one? this scares me to death) so we could all know whose fault it was. wtf is wrong with our world.

so, in my usually incoherent way, what i am feeling is that i am able to accept this possiblility. but the guilt/ responsibilty is not just on me., there are others (cps, the law, etc) that will force guilt and blame. this scares me so bad, and i guess it is supposed to. it is how they make us conform.

tabitha

Hi, I'm Tabitha. I'm a homeschooling mother of four: ds (11) dd (9) ds (7) ds (5) And I'm expecting a fifth in 2014! Find me at http://www.omelay.blogspot.com
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#7 of 130 Old 03-03-2006, 01:22 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tabitha
this scares me so bad, and i guess it is supposed to. it is how they make us conform.
This is why I'm going to be getting prenatal care w/ a midwife. In my state if something happened to my baby and I hadn't gotten prenantal care I would be charged. Yes, they have me with fear and it pisses me off.


I won't be getting an ultra sound though (I'm actually going to decline a lot of things, won't that be fun). And I have had passing thoughts about the what if's you mentioned. This is such a tough topic. I'm not quite sure how I feel about it, I haven't worked it all out in my head and heart yet.


~Heather

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
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#8 of 130 Old 03-03-2006, 01:39 PM
 
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may i ask which state?

how can i know that sort of detail about the laws in my state?

tabitha

Hi, I'm Tabitha. I'm a homeschooling mother of four: ds (11) dd (9) ds (7) ds (5) And I'm expecting a fifth in 2014! Find me at http://www.omelay.blogspot.com
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#9 of 130 Old 03-03-2006, 01:49 PM
 
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South Carolina, which is the only state with such strict/violating laws for pregnant women. I'm really not sure how to find out about the laws for other states but unless you live in SC they won't be as bad.
I really probably shouldn't have said (wrote) anything. I don't really want to spread the fear. Sorry about that. If I wasn't also poor and a homeschooler/unschooler/ non vaxer ..... I proabably wouldn't be as fearful as I am about this.


~Heather

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
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#10 of 130 Old 03-03-2006, 01:52 PM
 
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i dont think there is anythingwrong with you mentioning it.

however, how did you find this out about your state? how could i similarly learn about my state?

i am also poor, unschooling, non-vaxxing, etc.

tabitha

Hi, I'm Tabitha. I'm a homeschooling mother of four: ds (11) dd (9) ds (7) ds (5) And I'm expecting a fifth in 2014! Find me at http://www.omelay.blogspot.com
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#11 of 130 Old 03-03-2006, 02:08 PM
 
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Hi,i'm due October 17th or so.This will be my 5th babe and i am finally going to go for a UC birth.All my babes were wonderful and peaceful homebirths.I have not felt the confidence to do it alone without a midwives help even though i had uneventful births.This time i am going to build my confidence and prepare for this UC.

I have a question for those of you who are doing this already.I have 2 friends last year who both were having UC's and they both lost their babes due to birth related injuries.Both babies would have been saved if there had been medical help.One of my friends is a buddhist and has a very peaceful outlook towards death.But her depression is still so deep almost a year later now and she blames herself for the death of her babe.I am curious as to how your outlook is on this subject and if you could really be ok if something of this nature occured.I know for me it is my biggest fear to overcome.
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#12 of 130 Old 03-03-2006, 02:25 PM
 
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These websites talks about SC laws about this:
http://www.alternet.org/story/18321/

Quote:
Under South Carolina's version of the law, one local prosecutor warns that: "Even if a legal substance is used, if we can determine you are medically responsible for a child's demise, we will file charges." The pregnant woman who "allows" herself to be battered, and the woman who misses prenatal care appointments are both now vulnerable to prosecution for murder should something go wrong in the pregnancy.
http://advocatesforpregnantwomen.org...les/hr2436.htm


You could google your "Whatever state you live in" fetal homicide laws.

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
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#13 of 130 Old 03-03-2006, 03:06 PM
 
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I would check with each one individually because I assume they did plan a UC. But I agree- about keeping the list to potential UCs, and completed UC's.

Mama to 5 babies. UCer, too!
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#14 of 130 Old 03-03-2006, 09:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Tabitha, ACOG does not recommend routine ultrasounds, and insurance won't pay for it unless it's medically indicated. This might be helpful: http://cpmcnet.columbia.edu/texts/gcps/gcps0046.html

"A National Institutes of Health consensus development conference recommended that ultrasound imaging during pregnancy be performed only for a specific medical indication and not for routine screening. This is also the position of the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists."
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#15 of 130 Old 03-03-2006, 10:05 PM
 
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g to her, it is legal in every state (but nebraska, where it is only legal if the husband didnt catch. weird.) but there is no mention of infant mortality and what happens then. i would like to know what would happen then, would They just let me be?

maybe this isnt the place to wonder/worry these things. i also did a lot of law searching and of course found nothing. grumble. my first trimester soul cannot rest at ease.

tabitha

Hi, I'm Tabitha. I'm a homeschooling mother of four: ds (11) dd (9) ds (7) ds (5) And I'm expecting a fifth in 2014! Find me at http://www.omelay.blogspot.com
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#16 of 130 Old 03-03-2006, 11:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amyjeans
I would check with each one individually because I assume they did plan a UC.
I'm thinking now that maybe some people just changed their minds, but forgot to tell us.

Quote:
But I agree- about keeping the list to potential UCs, and completed UC's.
Maybe we should put a little note at the bottom of the UC list about it. I'd like to say something like, "this list is for those planning an "unassisted birth" -- that is, a birth without attendants acting in a midwifing capacity. (Not sure if that is grammatically correct but you get the idea. ) And, if you make other plans, please come back and let us know so we can keep the list current and accurate."
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#17 of 130 Old 03-04-2006, 07:21 PM
 
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hey, all, just wanted to check in real quick...i'd like to change my EDD to, oh, let's say 4/10? if i go past that, so be it, but it looks like we're gonna go early again

and yes, homebirth is legal in all 50 states (including nebraska, as long as the father doesn't catch . i guess dh will just have to stay in the living room while i birth in the bedroom! ). i remember reading somewhere that the supreme court ruled that a pregnant woman is under no legal obligation to seek medical care for her pregnancy, and i would think this would trump any state laws about seeking prenatal care, but maybe i'm wrong.

successful #2 Jan. 25th - welcome Maisie Elise!
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#18 of 130 Old 03-04-2006, 07:46 PM
 
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Hi everyone. My edd is changed from 9-28 to 10-07, not that it is that big of a deal.

I am having morning sickness that is enough to render me sensless plus severe diziness from not enough nutrients. I fainted in the shower this morning. I have tried everything and nothing has helped. For this reason I have sought a midwife thinking that maybe she could monitor me a bit an reassure me it is normal. She did, I am fine. I have even gained 6 lbs since pregnancy started and am not passing any keytones. I really like her, and plan to see her every so often. It was nice to just lie up on the bed in her office and relax while her kids played with my daughter.

So, I am going to continue to see her. I don't know if I want a midwife at my birth, though. She is responsive, and she lives over an hour from me and has other clients due around the same time. Plus she thinks this baby could come really fast, so chances are I will still be UCing, but if that changes I will let you know

Evergreen- Loving my girls Dylan dust.gifage8, Ava energy.gifage 4 and baby Georgia baby.gif (6/3/11).

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#19 of 130 Old 03-07-2006, 03:29 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Avani
I have a question for those of you who are doing this already.I have 2 friends last year who both were having UC's and they both lost their babes due to birth related injuries.Both babies would have been saved if there had been medical help.One of my friends is a buddhist and has a very peaceful outlook towards death.But her depression is still so deep almost a year later now and she blames herself for the death of her babe.I am curious as to how your outlook is on this subject and if you could really be ok if something of this nature occured.I know for me it is my biggest fear to overcome.
This is something that I think about everytime I get pregnant. For me, I think I have a pretty strong sense of fate. I feel like there are lessons/experiences that I am meant to have during my life. THis helps me make sense out of seemingly pointless/avoidable things that happen. The fact is, all the amount of medical help in the world doesn't save some babies, even savable babies. Sometimes, the craziest things kill people, and sometimes people survive things they "shouldn't"

So, that being said, I wouldn't be "okay" with having a baby die. Of course, it would be awful, I can't imagine anything worse than facing the death of my children. BUT, a UC death wouldn't be any more traumatic than losing a baby in the hospital. I don't believe that UC ups my chances of having a dead baby, and I don't think I would blame myself for the death, but instead accept(as best I could, I dont' mean to make it sound easy, I know that must seem horrid to anyone who has actually lost a baby) it as one of the lessons that was mine to learn this time around. FWIW, this will be my third UC coming up in April.

Kat

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#20 of 130 Old 03-07-2006, 04:00 PM
 
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Just wanted to give a quick update too. I check in here all the time, but only occasionally post. I always wonder whats up with the expecting moms on the list, especially as their due dates come closer, so I thought I'd let you all know. Today is 35 weeks into my third UP. I was afraid of going a bit early, I had a couple wierd spells, but happily it seems like it was nothing. =)

Lots of pelvic/groin pain going on, but other than that, no complaints. It's so much fun to be in the last weeks! Knowing that baby can come at any time, and being SO PREGNANT, people can't stop themselves from talking to me about it. It's funny because it makes work so much easier (this is the first time I"ve worked while pregnant, and UGH!! what a pain.) But people are so much nicer! I'll hate giving that up! =)

ds #1 woke up this morning and greeted me with "the baby is coming out today!" I laughed, and said I hope not!! We've got a few weeks left to go. I'm both excited and anxious to have a newborn again. I'm determined to sit on my butt for a few weeks after birth and let dh take care of house & hellions..........That's the part I'm anxious about. =)

Anyway, that's it from me!! Hugs to all the other STB moms!!

Kat

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#21 of 130 Old 03-09-2006, 01:11 PM
 
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Just wanted to pop in and say....











Please add me to the expecting list!!!!!




Due end of Oct/early Nov

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#22 of 130 Old 03-09-2006, 01:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Congratulations!
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#23 of 130 Old 03-09-2006, 01:29 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fourlittlebirds
Congratulations!
Thank you! I just got tears in my eyes seeing my name under the expecting list! : It hasn't sunk in yet.

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#24 of 130 Old 03-09-2006, 03:39 PM
 
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Well that's a fine howdy-doo!
Congrats MAMA- I wish you all my best on your fantastic journey!

lots of love
aj

Mama to 5 babies. UCer, too!
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#25 of 130 Old 03-09-2006, 04:11 PM
 
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Congratulations AngelBee!! how happy!


lizzie

It's such a relief to finally trust yourself.
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#26 of 130 Old 03-09-2006, 05:08 PM
 
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I just wanted to say that yes, fourlittlebirds, I think it would be a good idea to clarify the birthstory list, and maybe contact those who didn't UC to find out what changed things.. either their own change of heart or extenuating circumstances...

Maybe the ladies who didn't UC but planned to/wanted to could add an addendum to their birthstory? If it's not in the story already, to explain what went "wrong" or just what happened? I love reading birthstories of all kinds, but I do think for newcomers to the thread it is nice to have a good list of UC's (not to be confused with a list of "good" UC's! ) for them to read and see how it really works without interference, (or help, as the case may be) from outside parties.


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#27 of 130 Old 03-09-2006, 05:12 PM
 
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Thank you amyjeans and lizzie

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#28 of 130 Old 03-09-2006, 05:19 PM
 
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I do want to say that with the birth stories, there should be a disclosure (?) stating that their was additional attendent.

However, I think it is important to leave stories that are change of plans. That is reality. Many UC minded women may never actually have an 100% unassisted birth. Some may only have a C-section. Some very medical due to complications. Others have husbands that are more comfortable having a midwife on site at their home "just in case" Many will UC and have beautiful births.

I think that it is important to remember that it is a journey and a mindset. The bottom line is trusting our own instincts and bodies. If that for me would to end up being having a midwife there to ease my mind, so be it. I don't find that a UC failure. I find it a stone that I am trying to remove on my path by being brave enough to admit my fear and do something to empower myself.

I don't know if that makes sense or not.

I just think we need to be careful to empower and encourge womens decisions, not make them feel that they like they failed.

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#29 of 130 Old 03-09-2006, 07:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Definitely. The list should be reserved for those who are intending or hoping to UC up until the birth -- else what's the point of having a specifically UC roll call -- but any birth that ends up with a midwife attending or a hospital transfer should absolutely remain on the list. Those aren't the ones that were in question. In any case, I did email the people whose stories seemed clear that they were not intending or desiring UC, and have removed a few. I am still unsure about a few that are still on the list, but for the most part the non-UCs that remain on the list were clearly planned or desired to be UC but ended up otherwise for whatever reason.
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#30 of 130 Old 03-10-2006, 01:00 AM
 
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Okay mamas- I am starting to lose my patience here. Can ya send some birthy vibes my way? This baby just keeps dropping and dropping and dropping- I forgot how uncomfortable that gets! He/she is totally engaged to the point all he/she can do is jab me with an elbow or knee in disgust because of the lack of space available. He/she keeps trying to get out of my pelvis by sticking his but in the air and pushing hard on my insides...whoooo doggy I got gas from the last push!!!
This monkey is ready!!!

thanks for letting me rant.

Mama to 5 babies. UCer, too!
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