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#61 of 215 Old 04-25-2006, 11:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Congrats ecurlycue and welcome to the thread!!

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#62 of 215 Old 04-26-2006, 07:55 AM
 
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When i was pregnant with my ds about 2 years ago the midwives checked my fundal hight at each visit. Now they don't bother (I'm UC not UP), i guess its because its not very accurate in the 1st & 2nd trimester.. depending on how the baby lies can really make a difference on the size.

Last time i went the midwife felt my tummy and said - ohh you'll be having a big baby and then looked at the scan results (yes i had an evil cell destroying scan) and said - ohh its small for dates. Well the scan people think my dates are wrong but don't want me to change them... I give up, if i had thought of it before i would be having a UP, but i can't stop in the middle as it would causes problems. That was just a waffle

I have felt knakered 80% of the time during this pregnancy, i guess its looking after a toddler - i keep on waiting for that feel good phase, but at 28 weeks i think i'm past it! We have a bank holiday weekend coming up so dh will be off work for 3 days which will be nice, but i have an assignment to write for a course that i'm doing, which will take me the next 2 months of weekends to do. Luckily then i'm putting the course on hold until january so i can look after baby without worrying about study.

I have found that all the aches and pains that i had within the last month of pregnancy with ds i had within the first 6 weeks of pregnancy this time - which is why i've got a bit supplement & therapy crazy - the reflexology has really helped with siatica (sp?).

I've been reading Spiritual midwifery - which i loved reading when pregnant with ds and i do still love reading the birth stories but now i can't help but think things like "did you really need to cut that cord so soon?" and "why do all these babies need to be suctioned & helped to breathe?" A friend is lending me laura Shanleys book and a video of a UC birth. As we are TV free i don't have a video player so i'll have to watch it round my mums house - earth mother she is not - she will be horrified!

Anyway that was a bit of a mega waffle.

Hope all is going well with everyone.

Vikki

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#63 of 215 Old 04-26-2006, 11:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I feel the same when I read Spiritual Midwifery now. I keep thinking "back of woman and let the mother birth the way she wants to" etc.... I still like to read it though but it's through different eyes now. It was my inspiration when I was pregnant with my first. Oh and I am bothered by the little bit on circumcision in it too. They actually did/do them if requested by the parents.:

I'm 13 weeks today!!!!!!! Still wating for the m/s to hit the road. But I do see light at the end of the tunnel now!!

Heather

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#64 of 215 Old 04-26-2006, 12:33 PM
 
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Oh, don't get me going on Spiritual Midwifery! LOL! But I liked reading about the hippie mamas, really only the thing I was interested in looking at in the last days of my third pregnancy. If only there was a book with stories of that natural/spiritual bent, without the over-management and controllingness of the midwife!
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#65 of 215 Old 04-26-2006, 02:09 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by puddleduck
A friend is lending me laura Shanleys book and a video of a UC birth. As we are TV free i don't have a video player so i'll have to watch it round my mums house - earth mother she is not - she will be horrified!
Oh, thanks for reminding me about her stuff! I was gonna send DH to her website to read birth stories to help relax him a bit more
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#66 of 215 Old 04-27-2006, 12:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I bought Unassisted Childbirth off the trading post here and read it in one day. I couldn't put it down. I liked it a lot. I'll probably read it again in a couple of months. I am really wishing today that I could stop myself from reading some post in this forum. Yikes, I'm getting pissed. I need to have some self restraint and just not click on the thread.
This thread is great though and I love all the positive energy on it!!! I am really enjoying being able to share this pregnancy with outher UC'ing mamas.

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#67 of 215 Old 04-27-2006, 01:08 PM
 
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I think I read Unassisted Childbirth, which one was that? I think I got it from the library of all places! I get totally addicted to birth stories and books, I think for me books are more addicting than icecream!

Oh, that thread. I'm guessing it's the one that I'm not using any self control on whatsoever and wasting a lot of time replying to? At least it's firming up my beliefs, not at all swaying me toward wanting a MW

I'm feeling baby kick more and more, being in tune with it when it's awake and asleep is pretty neat! Mine doesn't kick much at night at all, I wonder if this means it will be a night sleeper? That would be pretty cool!

Is it true that most babies are on a schedule when they're born to be awake at night and asleep during the day? Or is that an old wive's tale?

Cara
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#68 of 215 Old 04-28-2006, 01:37 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by littleteapot
I've gotten big REALLY fast with this one.
Really, really fast. My fundal height has already reached my navel and I'm no more than 12-14 weeks or something.

(Yes, I'm positive!! I only had one period!)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...rogression.jpg

(the months are my 'best guesses')
That is normal for more than 2 or 3 babies. The uterus stretches out faster. But boy, oh boy, I wish I looked that good in a bikini! You are blessed! enjoy your babybelly...
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#69 of 215 Old 04-28-2006, 01:49 AM
 
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Is it true that most babies are on a schedule when they're born to be awake at night and asleep during the day? Or is that an old wive's tale?
That was never true for us!
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#70 of 215 Old 04-28-2006, 11:38 AM
 
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Yay! Maybe we'll have a night sleeper. I think I'm being a little naieve about this whole baby thing- I somehow have it in my head that baby will just eat, pee, and then go back to sleep at night. I've heard new parent tales that involve walking the hall til 2 am, but for some reason my child doesn't need this in my ideas
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#71 of 215 Old 04-28-2006, 12:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My dd had a couple of nights when she was a newborn that she cried for hours those nights. She was what you call a high needs baby though. But after those nights she just woke to eat (every 2-3 hrs) and she slept with us so I would just turn on my side put a boob in her mouth and go back to sleep. Co-sleeping allowed me to get sleep. I do believe every baby is different. My ds was/is so easy going. He slept so much more than my dd ever did that I thought something was wrong with him. I could actually put him down when he was asleep and he wouldn't wake up screaming, that was a huge no no with my dd. Awwwww I can't wait to have another newborn, they are the most precious creatures. Oh and they smell so yummy too!!!

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#72 of 215 Old 04-28-2006, 12:33 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by myhoneyswife
I somehow have it in my head that baby will just eat, pee, and then go back to sleep at night.
That's what I have experienced with my two boys... I think it helps when you co-sleep and breastfeed and don't expect anything... I think many problems that parents have is that they try to make newborns sleep apart from their parents, so each time that they try to lay the baby down in the crib/bassinet (even if it is in their room) the baby wakes up because they want to be next to mommy... I have heard so many parents talk about how they don't ever sleep and how the baby wakes the moment they try to put them down... when I ask if they are co-sleeping the answer is always no...
I have really never heard such stories from moms that breastfeed and welcome baby in their bed with open arms...

 
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#73 of 215 Old 04-28-2006, 01:13 PM
 
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I'd like to introduce myself

I'm planning my first sorta-UP/UC LOL that is... midwife backup- I can call her if I'm feeling like transferring, goal being to avoid an unnecessary one, and I'll use her charts to track my own prenatal info.

Gracie was a homebirth with a pretty hands-off midwife, but it really disrupted my laboring just having her there, and in hindsight, she may have been hands-off, but she got me to do things against my instinct with her words... which is a big part of why I'm planning a UC this time.
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#74 of 215 Old 04-28-2006, 01:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Welcome to the thread Sarah. Congrats on your pregnancy!!!

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#75 of 215 Old 04-28-2006, 01:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by paxye
I have heard so many parents talk about how they don't ever sleep and how the baby wakes the moment they try to put them down... when I ask if they are co-sleeping the answer is always no...
I have really never heard such stories from moms that breastfeed and welcome baby in their bed with open arms...
I couldn't put my dd down during the day when she fell asleep. At night though since we co-slept this wasn't an issue. But like I wrote before she was high needs and that has a lot to do with me not being able to put her down during the day.

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#76 of 215 Old 04-28-2006, 01:40 PM
 
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My first baby (UP/UC, co-sleeping, baby-wearing, breastfeeding, the whole-shebang) was a SCREAMER and wouldn't sleep. =)

I would walk him around our apartment complex at 4am regularly. I just thought all babies were that way =) I got used to having no sleep and waking up with him every two hours day and night and after nursing him, trying to find something to soothe him back to sleep.

He was a puker too. He would nurse until he was overly full and then projectile vomit all over me, dh, the dinner table. And then nurse some more and the whole cycle would start again. Sigh. My poor MIL was beside herself, she was sure there was something wrong with him. Again, being a first-time mom, I just assumed this was the world of babies.

But anyway, just to respond to paxye, it CAN happen. I never slept, and baby woke up screaming when I climbed back into my bed with him. And he is STILL co-sleeping with us at almost 5 years old, and breastfed until he weaned himself at 20months.

My next two have been EASY compared to #1. #3 is approaching 3 weeks old. =)

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#77 of 215 Old 04-28-2006, 02:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Rajahkat, I think it has a lot to do with a child's temperament. I thought all babies were like my dd, I knew no different. I was actually shocked that my ds could be put down, let others hold him, didn't nurse every hour when he was a newborn, would just lie by himself and look around and didn't cry much. My dd was basically the complete oppposite of that, I am so glad I listened to my mama instincts with her and just did what she needed. She is what led me to a lot of my parenting beliefs. I have learned more from her than any other person in my life. She is still teaching me everyday (and boy are some of those lessons hard learned ).


Heather

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#78 of 215 Old 04-28-2006, 02:40 PM
 
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i think the sleep thing is all about how you allow yourself to perceive it. it is hard (or it was for me) but very worthwhile to daily (and hourly!) remind yourself that it is you that should become more like them, not the other way around- our modern ideas of solid sleep, etc are so unnatural. babies know what is best for them, always. and if you listen, they will tell you.

i love the worn-out quote from The Prophet, specifically the line "Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness"- when we give birth, we are bending in the archer's hand- whether one believes in a god or not, we are following our nature. raising newborns is part of the same nature. it is hard, with all our social baggage, to let go and let our nature guide us. but our babies have no trouble doing this. they are lucky, and i believe it is always wisest to follow their example.:

On Children

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of Children." And he said:

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts.

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;

For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Hi, I'm Tabitha. I'm a homeschooling mother of four: ds (11) dd (9) ds (7) ds (5) And I'm expecting a fifth in 2014! Find me at http://www.omelay.blogspot.com
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#79 of 215 Old 04-28-2006, 02:43 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sheacoby
I couldn't put my dd down during the day when she fell asleep. At night though since we co-slept this wasn't an issue. But like I wrote before she was high needs and that has a lot to do with me not being able to put her down during the day.
My second ds wouldn't let me put him down either (he was also HN)... so in the sling he stayed (though many times he would rather be in my arms and not in the sling or wrap)...
Like I said I think the problems come when you expect that a baby should be put down and don't go with the flow if they don't....

rajahkat: I don't think that it never happens.... but I do think that it is more rare when you don't expect anything in advance and when you believe that co-sleeping is healthy... KWIM...

I guess I am just annoyed that I get tons of calls from moms (I am a peer-to peer bf councelor) and they complain that the baby never wants to be put in the crib and they were up all night trying... (often asking if they should switch to formula) When I ask them how the baby sleeps next to them they say good but they don't want to co-sleep because it is a bad habit and they don't want the baby to be spoiled...

 
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#80 of 215 Old 04-29-2006, 05:09 PM
 
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My friends were discussing this the other day. All our firsts could be described as "spirited" or high needs. Ds woke every 30mins to 2 hours for the first year of his life, never napped for more than 30 minutes at a time and was constantly attached to my boobs, talked & walked quickly, generally a real live wire. 2 of my friends have had their 2nd children and they are different animals completely - they are all only waking once a night (both are breastfed and co-sleep), they are just chilled out and non demanding during the day, will happily be put down to sleep anywhere, fall asleep by themselves etc etc. They decided it was either because the 2nd child gets used to fending for themselves quicker - as you can't attend to the newborns cries as quickly as with your first because you are dealing with a toddler or because people get given children with complementary personalities so if no1 is high needs no2 will be chilled and visa versa.
I discussed this with MIL saying i deserve a chilled dc2 and she said "what if ds1 is your chilled out child and ds2 is the one who is really spirited?" evil lady

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#81 of 215 Old 04-29-2006, 05:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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your MIL is mean. My dh says what if our 3rd (the one I'm pg with right now) is more spirited than dd. I told him that would not be fair. I just feel the universe would not do that to me.

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#82 of 215 Old 04-29-2006, 06:06 PM
 
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its funny, but while tristan has always been spirited, very very intense, and kassiopeia was at first way more peaceful and calm, she has turned out to be the most fiesty and determined. she walked by 7 months and hasnt quit moving since. her intensity is just different. i am not afraid of what this new one has to throw at me, because my last experience was so humbling. i know that life has its challenges and i cant avoid them or even prepare for them!

i am not very graceful, often i complain my way through tough times, but i know i'll get through.

btw, i wanted to share some cool news: our jersey cow Nimue calved this morning. we're in milk up to our ears! a little bull calf we've named Merlin.

there are pictures on my blog here.

Hi, I'm Tabitha. I'm a homeschooling mother of four: ds (11) dd (9) ds (7) ds (5) And I'm expecting a fifth in 2014! Find me at http://www.omelay.blogspot.com
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#83 of 215 Old 04-29-2006, 06:16 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Sheacoby
I feel the same when I read Spiritual Midwifery now. I keep thinking "back of woman and let the mother birth the way she wants to" etc....
I was reading that book today. One of the birth stories were the mom was having twins, the first came out just fine, they waited, then decided the second wasn't coming out fast enough so they actually reached inside the mom and pulled the poor thing out. He was covered in bruises, gee I wonder why! :

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#84 of 215 Old 04-29-2006, 07:51 PM
 
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Originally Posted by paxye
When I ask them how the baby sleeps next to them they say good but they don't want to co-sleep because it is a bad habit and they don't want the baby to be spoiled...
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#85 of 215 Old 04-29-2006, 07:53 PM
 
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Originally Posted by lillake
I was reading that book today. One of the birth stories were the mom was having twins, the first came out just fine, they waited, then decided the second wasn't coming out fast enough so they actually reached inside the mom and pulled the poor thing out. He was covered in bruises, gee I wonder why! :
Ack! Now I'm never going to read that book.... that's scary
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#86 of 215 Old 04-29-2006, 08:15 PM
 
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There is a lot of beauty in that book, and they were certainly headed in the right direction as far as treating birth more naturally and spiritually, but some of it just makes me cringe.

Okay, those of you not wanting to read anything negative in your pregnancy might want to skip this part...

Ina May:

Quote:
Linda was obviously wishing that there was some way she could get out of this situation she found herself in. I stationed William [the father] on one side of Linda and had him rub one of her legs while I sat across from him, rubbed the other leg and talked to Linda about what she could change in herself that would make her better able to handle her labor. The first change she could make, I told her, would be to decide to give up being fat, to make a firm decision to lose twenty or twenty-five pounds after she had the baby.

[...]

Linda was trying hard not to complain, but couldn't hold still enough during a rush to stay relaxed. I suggested that she and William switch positions and that she rub his legs for a while. [...] She squeezed his legs during her next few rushes, which was good for her in a way because it gave her something to do with her attention, but it looked to me like she was squeezing his bare legs harder with each rush and not noticing that she was pinching and pulling hairs. It was interesting to me to see that William and Linda, although they obviously loved each other, weren't very easy about communicating with each other.

[...]

She was having more trouble than before holding still, and it was even more important now that she be still and in control of herself.
Etc.
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#87 of 215 Old 04-29-2006, 09:44 PM
 
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yea...not gonna read it...
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#88 of 215 Old 04-30-2006, 06:32 AM
 
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Tabitha - Merlin is just lovely - i so want to be living somewhere i can have my own cow, they are such beautiful animals.

Has anyone read the Emergancy Childbirth book? Its actually surprisingly reassuring.

How about learning infant CPR? Does anyone already know how to do it? Is it something you think its good to learn before a UC? I've read instructions in books but i don't think i'd be very confident unless i went to a specific class.

Its is all wet and grey here today (what in England? What a surprise!) but i'm quite glad as i have an assignment to write on Lipids and if it was sunny i'd just have to be in the garden instead.

Hope you are all havinga good weekend

Vikki

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#89 of 215 Old 04-30-2006, 11:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Tabitha, Merlin (we have a cat we named Merlin) is adorable!!

Vikki, it's rainy and gray here today as well and a bit chilly. Which is unusual for this time of year for us here in the southern US.

Fourlittlebirds, the part you quoted is just awful. Hmmm maybe it was her rude overbearing midwife that was causing her issues.: Give up being fat, oh boy.

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#90 of 215 Old 04-30-2006, 01:06 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Sheacoby
Fourlittlebirds, the part you quoted is just awful. Hmmm maybe it was her rude overbearing midwife that was causing her issues.:
Yeah, and maybe just maybe her rude overbearing midwife was intimidating and inhibiting her husband, hence the communication problems? The worship of Ina May in the natural birth world just kills me. I mean, I understand she helped to legitimize homebirth. Even so, she is one of the *last* people I would want at *my* birth.
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