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#91 of 215 Old 04-30-2006, 04:11 PM
 
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Originally Posted by fourlittlebirds
Yeah, and maybe just maybe her rude overbearing midwife was intimidating and inhibiting her husband, hence the communication problems? The worship of Ina May in the natural birth world just kills me. I mean, I understand she helped to legitimize homebirth. Even so, she is one of the *last* people I would want at *my* birth.
I'm SO glad other people feel that way. I read her books right around the time we concieved. They left such a bad taste in my mouth!

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#92 of 215 Old 04-30-2006, 04:12 PM
 
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Originally Posted by puddleduck
T
Has anyone read the Emergancy Childbirth book? Its actually surprisingly reassuring.

How about learning infant CPR? Does anyone already know how to do it? Is it something you think its good to learn before a UC? I've read instructions in books but i don't think i'd be very confident unless i went to a specific class.
I know infant CPR, I took a class in that every year when I was babysitting. Parents liked to know that I was up to date. Honestly, the first 2 classes were good, but the last few were just repition because it's really not necessary every year. I personally thought it was helpful, they had life-sized dolls to puff into and you could see their chest rise, etc. and I'd still be really nervous to do it on a real person but I wouldn't really be going at it blindly, ya know?

I need to see if my library has that book (Emergency Childbirth), or order it next time I order. It might be a good thing to have around

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#93 of 215 Old 04-30-2006, 04:47 PM
 
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We read Emergency Childbirth (it's the *only* book my husband would read, he liked its dry, simple approach) and honestly there wasn't anything in there I didn't already know (I'd been reading midwifery texts for years,) but it was very reassuring to my husband. Some of the stuff is outdated, but generally it's good, and I love Dr. White's attitude, so rare among doctors, that birth is really a very simple thing and the most important thing is to just not get in its way.
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#94 of 215 Old 04-30-2006, 06:57 PM
 
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hi everyone, jumping in here... I'm 25 weeks and planning a ubac, although we are seeing a very hands-off lay midwife (who is going to be having her 4th uc about a month after I'm due!) We were planning a home waterbirth with ds but when I didn't go into labor by 42 weeks my midwives dropped me and said I "HAD" to go in to be induced. I'm realizing that I have some anger about the way they treated me through that pregnancy and afterwards for that matter, I was 19 and well-mannered but man would I let them have it now! : But anyway. After 30+ hrs. of pure he!! laboring in the hospital I ended up with a c/s to deliver my 12lb little boy.
My family doesn't know about the uc plans and dh is a little resistant, but I think he'll come around when he realizes that the safest place for us to have a baby in our situation (a possibly fairly large vbac baby) is at home, by ourselves. It honestly scares the sh!t out of me to think about laboring in the hospital again with people buzzing around "the ultrasound shows your baby is too large!" "your efforts are futile!" "give up now!" but it's really reassuring and calming to think about pushing the baby out alone on the back porch in a nice tub of water. Sounds better all the time.
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#95 of 215 Old 04-30-2006, 11:48 PM
 
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Originally Posted by puddleduck
I read the UC board so uh but i've never got round to posting here before.
This comment has me confused. Is this not the UC board? If not, then where is it? I'm really wanting to learn all I can about UC because it looks like we'll be going that route with this next baby.



.
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#96 of 215 Old 05-01-2006, 12:45 AM
 
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Hi Morgansmom,

Quote:
but I think he'll come around when he realizes that the safest place for us to have a baby in our situation (a possibly fairly large vbac baby) is at home, by ourselves.
If it'll help tell your hubby that you know a woman (me ) who birthed 4 UC babies all over ten pounds just fine. My 5th child, (the 4th UC) was 12 1/2 pounds too. No tears, no problems, each one in around 2 hours.

It's my personal belief that our chunkies NEED to be born at home.....UC.....that it is the safest, quickest way.

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#97 of 215 Old 05-01-2006, 12:47 AM
 
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Yeah, and maybe just maybe her rude overbearing midwife was intimidating and inhibiting her husband, hence the communication problems? The worship of Ina May in the natural birth world just kills me. I mean, I understand she helped to legitimize homebirth. Even so, she is one of the *last* people I would want at *my* birth.
Me too. She lost me when she attended a birth where she was squeezing some poor mama's nipples HERSELF to get labor going. Or maybe it was to increase the cosmic energy???....I can't remember, but that just made me feel R*A*G*E LOL!

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#98 of 215 Old 05-01-2006, 12:48 AM
 
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Originally Posted by puddleduck
I read the UC board so uh but i've never got round to posting here before.



This comment has me confused. Is this not the UC board? If not, then where is it? I'm really wanting to learn all I can about UC because it looks like we'll be going that route with this next baby.

Yes this is the UC board. She was saying that she's been lurking so long that she just realized that she's never posted before. So she's new to us even though these ladies aren't new to her. See.
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#99 of 215 Old 05-01-2006, 12:53 AM
 
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Originally Posted by mama in the forest
Me too. She lost me when she attended a birth where she was squeezing some poor mama's nipples HERSELF to get labor going. Or maybe it was to increase the cosmic energy???....I can't remember, but that just made me feel R*A*G*E LOL!
My last midwife did this. Actually she told my husband to do it but first felt it necessary to demonstrate and then critique my hubby's nipple pinching technique. She was a horrible woman.
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#100 of 215 Old 05-01-2006, 01:19 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Joanell
This comment has me confused. Is this not the UC board? If not, then where is it? I'm really wanting to learn all I can about UC because it looks like we'll be going that route with this next baby.



.
You're in the right place, she was justing saying that she's read the posts here but hadn't posted herself until now
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#101 of 215 Old 05-01-2006, 01:21 AM
 
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OMG Japanmama ! How wierd... as I sit here and hold my own boobs just at the thought. Violation, so sorry for you mama.

BTW.. I guess I'm moving over to this thread from the other one, or at least adding myself to it since there's more action here

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#102 of 215 Old 05-01-2006, 01:45 AM
 
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She lost me when she attended a birth where she was squeezing some poor mama's nipples HERSELF to get labor going.
Such a huge lack of understanding about the hormonal process there. I seem to remember somewhere in the book her putting pressure on the woman's clitoris as well. <shudder>
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#103 of 215 Old 05-01-2006, 01:51 AM
 
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This is vaguely OT: I'm subscribed to several different threads on several different forums on MDC and while I'm getting all this anti-Ina May on this thread I'm also getting tons of pro-Ina May from two other threads and I keep reading one and the other, forgetting the titles, and getting totally lost in why I'm seeing so much disagreement in the same thread.

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#104 of 215 Old 05-01-2006, 01:58 AM
 
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I've thought the very same thing recently...

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#105 of 215 Old 05-01-2006, 10:56 AM
 
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Tabitha, I'm in love with your cows! For some reason calfs always look like "Tucker" to me, but I think Merlin is great too! We just had a little lamb born quickly in the middle of the night a couple weeks ago, missed the whole thing. And wouldn't you know they did just fine unassisted Actually, last year the ewe had a baby on my son's birthday, there were party guests running all over and they really started freaking out when they saw it was coming breech... I was pissed : It was like a nightmare repeat of ds's birth. But being a newbie believer in UC, I refused to let anyone in the barn and wouldn't you know, she had that huge breech baby quickly by herself.
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#106 of 215 Old 05-01-2006, 11:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh and come on don't touch my "button" while I'm in labor and if you are not my lover, just NO.

I am not feeling this baby as much as I wish I was. I have only felt her/him flutter a few times. I was feeling my ds so much more by this point. But I know every pregnancy is different so I'm trying to be patient (like I have choice). I'm starting to lose some of my food aversions, YAY!!!!!!! I actually ate some Ezekial bread this morning!!!
On a sour note. I probably won't be seeing the midwife I had planned too. My mom took it upon herself to discuss my UC plans with this midwife (my mom has been her nurse at some births, so they know eachother), who said she was actually okay with that.....BUT she needed to be called when I go into labor and I had to commit to checking heart tones while I was in labor. Um nope not having strings attached at all. And boy am I pissed at my mom. So I go to plan B, which is another birth center (they do home births as well) that takes medicaid. And my mom doesn't know any of the midwives there.


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#107 of 215 Old 05-01-2006, 12:15 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mama in the forest



If it'll help tell your hubby that you know a woman (me ) who birthed 4 UC babies all over ten pounds just fine. My 5th child, (the 4th UC) was 12 1/2 pounds too. No tears, no problems, each one in around 2 hours.

It's my personal belief that our chunkies NEED to be born at home.....UC.....that it is the safest, quickest way.

You have no idea how comforting that is! Lately I've been getting the "let's just hope he's not as big as Morgan" thing from everyone. And dh wants to get another ultrasound at the end (only way is 1 1/2 hrs. away at an expensive non-medical 4D place) just to "make sure." Yeah right! I keep saying it does NOT MATTER how big he is, but they don't listen.
And it helps so much to hear that from someone else, really really it does
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#108 of 215 Old 05-02-2006, 07:02 AM
 
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Heather: Mothers! they try to be so helpful but they drive you up the wall. I had mentioned to my mum about having a UC a while back, so last week i thought i best check she had not said anything to any of her nurse friends who are likely to report me to the relevent authorities and she hadn't even been paying attention when i told her in the first place! I just wanted her as back up to look after ds but i think i'll just hope for a night time labour.
My mum has also booked a week off of work mid august when dc2 will be 3 or 4 weeks old to come and stay - initially it seemed like a good idea until i realised it would just involve me cooking and cleaning for an extra person - she is so no help at all - not even playing with ds - she's like " he's such a mummy's boy, he just wants you", and all i can think is - get off your fat *** and play with the child. She's the sort of mum that wants you to bottle feed so she can feed the baby instead of you.

As far as babies movements are concerned i didn't feel this one until 19/20 weeks ( i felt ds1 at about 13 weeks) and it was because i have an anterior placenta. Now ds1 just climbs all over "big tummy" (as he likes to call it) and poor babe kicks me to try and get him off!

I can't stand any touch in labour - no massage, no nothing - i showed dh the pics of spiritual midwifery where the partner is practically holding the labouring woman up by her breasts and said - if you try this i will kill you

I have booked myself onto a CPR course for the beginning of may and am going to start writing a birth plan / guide for me & dh ( like what herbs etc to use when) and then i'm sorted.

vikki

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#109 of 215 Old 05-02-2006, 09:12 AM
 
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morgansmom,

I'm glad it helps a little.

You know it's my personal opinion that the larger babies .......in the right situation........meaning - at home, no interference, no pressure, no meddling midwives, etc.....come out faster and easier than smaller babies. I rememberh having a conversation with the midwife that I go to yearly for a pap test about my babies. There was a nurse in the room, plus the midwife, and the nurse was really amazed at my stories of UC with such chunkies. The midwife responded to her & said....well, those big ones really know how to dilate the cervix efficiently! And I have found this to be true for myself. In fact, it happens so fast it can be difficult to comprehend the whole labor and what's happening......but I will take that any day over my first 40 hour midwife birth!

I know how difficult it is to help someone understand all of these factors surrounding UC (your dh). Remind him not to discount what happens to your animals when they're birthing & people are around. It's just the same for us.

Imagine how different it will feel to: instead of being induced and going to the hospital because somehow your body has "failed" and not gone into labor in the time the midwives wanted you to..........to just enjoying the end of your pregnancy.....privately, securely, trusting your body & baby...and then going into labor naturally in your own home. Your hubby will probably be surprised and elated about how intimate & wonderful the experience will be.

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#110 of 215 Old 05-02-2006, 10:53 AM
 
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I sure hope so... dh is a "freak-out" kind of person, gets really buzzy and can't handle stressful situations. And the last birth was definitely stressful, so that's how he's looking at this one. With ds, I felt so much intense pressure and my cervix was swelling, I think that was probably because of all the intervention, huh? People kept telling me it was because he was too heavy and big. Pah!
vikki- my mother will *not* know I'm in labor until the baby is born. And she won't hear a word of UC. I see her all the time and it would be a constant fear-trip. She actually called the hospital last time while I was in labor and told me and dh to just get a c/s! Argh! Then she came to see us when ds was 6 weeks, but to her it was a big vacation (we lived in Juneau, Alaska at the time) She brought my 2 brothers and they all fought with each other and got mad when I slept until 9am (after being up half the night with ds, who had reflux) and expected us to be their tour guides and personal chefs 24/7. Is there any way you can convince your mom to get a hotel? Nobody is coming to stay with us this time, and I'm sooooo happy about that!!
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#111 of 215 Old 05-02-2006, 01:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well my plan B is even worse. I called the birthing center I spoke about in an earlier post and asked a couple of questions. I asked if they take medicaid for homebirths and they do but I would end up having to still pay them $1000. Okay that is not doable especially since I wouldn't actually be using them for the birth. Medicaid does fully pay for a birthing center birth which is fine I can say I'm doing that. But then I asked how far int pregnancy do they accept clients and she right aways said well how far along are you. I did answer her but I was thinking that it really was none of her business. Then she goes into a whole speach about the earlier you start prenatal care the better the outcome is for your baby. Then she goes on about how they like for the women to eat healthy and exercise, yeah really I would have never figured out it's good to eat healthy and get exercise if she hadn't told me that. Which seems like they like to monitor what you eat and how much exercise you get and um no that's not happening. So it sounds like it is a group of medwives and I won't even waste my time going there. Hmmm know on to plan C, which I've yet to come up with. Thanks for letting me vent!

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#112 of 215 Old 05-02-2006, 01:52 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mama in the forest
at home, no interference, no pressure, no meddling midwives, etc....
Wow, I can't tell you how nice that sounds! I had a homebirth with my first, but my oh so crunchy midwives were huge meddlers! This time around I just wanna be left alone so I can listen to my body.

At this point the only people I want to know when I go into labor is my BIL and SIL because we'll want them on the alert in case they need to get dd. I want dd here if possible, but I'm also preparing for the possiblity that I may not be able to have her here and concentrate. Plus my SIL brought me post-labor food last time I definately don't want my mother or MIL gere for the birth. I hate to tell that to DH but I can't stand the womam (MIL) on a normal day, I definately don't want her around while I'm in labor. During my first birth both my mother and MIL were there and I defiantely learned my lesson!
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#113 of 215 Old 05-02-2006, 01:53 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Sheacoby
Hmmm know on to plan C, which I've yet to come up with. Thanks for letting me vent!

Heather
UP/UC?
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#114 of 215 Old 05-02-2006, 02:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Crystal, I truly want to UP but I am very afraid of CPS. So I want to cover my butt. I respect all of you that UP so much, I can feel the peace it brings. But I would be more stressed out than peaceful (although I'm stressed about trying to find someon also, I can't win). Again not because I think prenatal care is necessary, quite the opposite actually. I am only wanting it to cover my butt, especially in the state I live in and especially because we are really poor and make very non-mainstream choices. I am having a UC though no matter what I decide to do about prenatal care.

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#115 of 215 Old 05-02-2006, 02:26 PM
 
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Heather- I totally get what you're talking about. My "plan" to cover my butt if someone asks about my prenatal care is to tell them that we saw a midwife and given the present climate towards midwifery in my state I cannot give them their name or information. We are planning on doing our own "prenatals" basically recording things like fundal height, weight, heartrate (gonna get a fetoscope and learn to use it), bloodpressure, etc etc if anyone wants that sort of information, not that it's anyones business.

CPS is such a scary thing, which is crazy because we're not doing anything wrong It's sad, if you put me (AP, CLW, slinging, cosleeping, educated UP/UC, non-vax, homeschool) next to my neighbors (the yelling, non-watchful, drug dealers who smoke pot while holding their 5 month old on the front porch) guess who's more likely to come under investigation by CPS :

There's something seriously wrong when we have to cover our asses for doing what's right...
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#116 of 215 Old 05-02-2006, 02:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by CryPixie83
There's something seriously wrong when we have to cover our asses for doing what's right...
So damn true!!!!!

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#117 of 215 Old 05-02-2006, 03:00 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Sheacoby
Crystal, I truly want to UP but I am very afraid of CPS. So I want to cover my butt. I respect all of you that UP so much, I can feel the peace it brings. But I would be more stressed out than peaceful (although I'm stressed about trying to find someon also, I can't win). Again not because I think prenatal care is necessary, quite the opposite actually. I am only wanting it to cover my butt, especially in the state I live in and especially because we are really poor and make very non-mainstream choices. I am having a UC though no matter what I decide to do about prenatal care.

Heather
CPS has got to be my biggest fear in all of this! It seems so silly and yet completely scary at the same time. I got lucky and actualy found a midwife in training on a local UC board. She brought me the prenatal forms, told me to fill them out myself, and if I need her she'll come over sign her name and claim to have been providing care the entire time.

Mom of 3 (Evan, Trey, Saffron ) Blogs at findingsummer.com
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#118 of 215 Old 05-02-2006, 03:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Lillake, that's great that you found someone like that.

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#119 of 215 Old 05-02-2006, 03:40 PM
 
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Originally Posted by lillake
I got lucky and actualy found a midwife in training on a local UC board. She brought me the prenatal forms, told me to fill them out myself, and if I need her she'll come over sign her name and claim to have been providing care the entire time.
That is very lucky!
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#120 of 215 Old 05-02-2006, 07:28 PM
 
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btw, just measured my fundal height for the first time and I'm measuring at 26cm (I'm 21 weeks) so that is looking great
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