I was thinking this afternoon about what it feels like to hold a newborn baby up by your neck....tucked into the crook of your neck & feeling it's sweet soft hair tickle your face/nose. And the smell!!!!!!! This led me to think about what my favorite aspects of UC are & I wondered how other UCers felt. My favorite things are:
the excitement of my first realization I'm in labor and what might unfold
my quiet house with the wind blowing through the windows
just my family around me loving me
feeling secure and comfortable without having to be measured, assessed, watched, or questioned
feeling like I have a big secret as I sit with my newborn babe & family with no one else around
Me My Blog Mama to 7 babes & four spirit babies
The parts of my last labor that were unassisted were fabulous - walking through the woods with my dh was the best. And pushing baby out my way without any direction was one of the greatest moments of my life. Can't wait to do it again!!
Even though I feel terrible this pregnancy, I look at myself in the mirror and I LOVE it. I LOVE being pregnant. I never loved it like this before a UP. We all have joy and giddiness over that first time... but not like this. This is a deep respect, almost religious and truly divine in nature. I worship my own body, and its ability and its form. I can't even describe the difference.
Babs + Curtis - Parents of Tempest (08/07/03 ), Jericho (11/01/05 ), Xan (10/03/06 ), Zephyra (06/02/11 ). @ babyslime.livejournal.com
no, that wasnt my favorite part, but it was nice!
The best part, was snuggling with my husband and freshly born son, still in the birth pool, still attached to me.
my 4th child was UC, and it was the only birth in which I was no violated.
Thanks mama in the forest, for starting this thread, it is much more appropriate to this forum!
i too have not given birth unhindered.
i have a friend who first told me about UC, years ago. she told her UC birth story and i will never forget what she loved the most about her birth, never. she said that the best thing was after the birth, which occured in the morning, it was just her and her husband and older girl snuggling together and no one in the world knew her new baby was born- no one. it was their secret for as long as they wanted. imagine that! her stoery spoke to me, and though i went on to use a midwife, i know that UC is right for us.
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|This is a deep respect, almost religious and truly divine in nature. I worship my own body, and its ability and its form. I can't even describe the difference.|
And I love the secret part of it so much. I remember after my fifth baby was born.....he was born at 3:55 AM and by the time the sun came up I felt like taking a walk with him in the forest. I wrapped him really well (it was April but warm & sunny) and we walked into the forest. (it wasn't that far - it's just a few feet from my back door LOL....i'm not one to be up & shopping after birth!) Anyway, it was really quiet and I watched him HEAR birds for the first time. His facial movements were ever so slight.....and his eyes were very round......and he listened to the birds chirping for the first time in his existence. And it was just he and I......no one knew of him or had laid eyes upon him. It felt very sacred.
Me My Blog Mama to 7 babes & four spirit babies
I had 3 babies in the hospital with just about every medical intervention there is, and afterward it was like, "Cool I have a new baby, but everything else sucked." And I never thought much about those days again. But with my UC, I literally think about it every day. I think about going into labor naturally, being able to labor in the quiet night with my hubby lightly sleeping nearby (I wanted the seclusion, like a laboring animal), my other kids looking on as my baby was coming out of me, my husband being so in control and strong, the peace . . .I can't even describe how good I feel when I think about my UC!
How do people look at me like I'm some freak and yet they go on with hospital births? I just don't get it!! How am I a freak for having a beautiful, natural experience? Their loss
Crunchy, Christ-lovin' mama to dd13, ds8, dd6, dd5, ds3
Another favorite thing was being able to let my consciousness emerge from laborland as it was meant to. I was taken abruptly out of it with my previous births. With my first UC, I got to experience it for a few moments before the spell was broken, and the realization then of what I had lost with that and the previous two births was overwhelming. And then, at last, it happened. It was such a simple thing, but sometimes the simplest things are the most profound.
*Being SO in tune with my body. That part was so surreal!! With my other three, I had someone there who I relied on to know where I was in labor and what was going on. I never imagined being able to be so aware thru the pain. It was amazing!! Being alone, I automatically knew what exactly was happening with my body and ds.
*Sharing the experience with ONLY my dh.
*Being the first one to touch my ds.
*Cupping his head in my hands as he crowned.
And just snuggling in bed afterward with DH, baby, toddler, and going to sleep. No one waking us up "just to see your stitches" or take my blood pressure... no weird noises in the hall, no lights. No jello, real food.
There's no way that I'm going to be able to get around explaining to my in laws our plans for birth and I'm getting a sort of perverse pleasure out of the thought of how much it's going to blow their minds and how uncomfortable it's going to make them (I have some sadistic tendencies, I have to admit, especially when it comes to pushing people out of their comfortable little box )
I'm looking forward to going for walks while laboring (instead of pacing my room at the birthing center)
My husband or myself being the first one to touch our child. At my last birth the midwives wiped my dd off before handing her to me. During my pregnancy I had read somewhere that allowing the amniotic fluids to soak into the baby's skin for a while before wiping it off is good for the skin and had wanted to do that but it never occured to me to mention it to the midwives so pop the baby's out (all in one push) and then before I got the chance to feel even a sense of satisfaction I was completely taken aback by them wiping dd down rather roughly with a rough looking towel. I never got to feel DD all slimey fresh out of the womb. I'm really looking forward to not having to think through every last detail in order to have things done the way I want because I'M going to be the one doing it.
Being the first one to touch my son as I caught him.
Moaning when I needed to, and having no pressure on me to do anything within a certain amount of minutes.
The entire process was very empowering. I actually went into labor on my own and birthed my son without any lame and UNNECESSARY interventions. I have hips like this for a reason. lol
Still fighting my mind over the concept of unassisted birth, but my heart-strings are tugged into this purity and only wishing for something that I may never have...
Thank you all for sharing the beauty, serenity and purity of your lives.
The healing from my first two births that happened after my first UC. (and yes the UP helped too)
That victorious "whoohoo!" feeling!
Walking around in public while in labor and it was my big secret. I was so happy- I must have looked like the cat who swallowed a beach ball.
Dh catching Dd and getting soaked because she was born in the caul and it broke in that instant afterwards. I can still hear the splash.
When my ds was born and I scooped him up in my arms, the morning light got brighter and the candle that had been burning all night went out.
Originally Posted by fourlittlebirds
Jesse, your comment about your dh getting splashed made me remember how truly lovely it was when my water broke (just before the baby was born.) It was such a wonderful feeling, and with no thought to the mess. I remember, too, sitting back on the cushions that were soaked with amniotic fluid and blood, and feeling perfectly content. That's another of my favorite things about UC -- that I felt free to not worry about the "mess". People generally enjoy or feel neutral about their healthy bodily output, it is only when there is the possibility of others being exposed to it that they become embarrassed or ashamed of it, feeling a need to hide it or get cleaned up immediately.
Thank you everyone for sharing. I am getting so so excited for my very own UC!
The truth is beautiful when it is acted on or expressed and I feel like UP/UCing has been an expression of my truth and an opening to many other truths for me.
I felt wonderful during my pregnancy. It was my 3rd and favorite so far. It's funny how stressful prenatal checks really are ... something in their very nature screams DISTRUST to me. I don't think I would have had the pregnancy or birth that I did if I'd been going for prenatals. It felt awesome to always know that everything was going fine with baby and I. And I never felt like I wanted or needed anyone outside of myself to validate that.
I was really proud after our UC. I was SO proud that my baby trusted me to birth him naturally, at home, (his cord was wrapped tightly around his neck). I couldn't have blamed him if he'd prompted me to go to the hospital for a c-section. It must be pretty scary to sense that you're going to be choked to be born and I know that he did sense that. I truly feel like his trust in me to birth him is my #1 favorite thing about our UC.
My #2 favorite thing is the way my husband felt and feels about it. He wasn't 100% convinced until after the birth was over. Our last birth changed our lives (as any birth will - in any family), but so profoundly for him and it has affected our relationship as a couple and the way that we both parent. He is more attentive, more intuitive, more willing to sense the truth and act on it without hesitation. He 'got' something that day and has carried it with him ever since.
My #3 favorite thing is definitely the way that our UC has enhanced my sense of faith and truth and trust. I never doubted myself or birth or my babies when expecting / birthing our older 2 kids but there is a real difference in knowing something and realizing something and I realized it all this last time.
This has been life changing. It's been beautiful. I love everything about my last pg/birth because I feel so strongly that it was EXACTLY what it was meant to be and the most honest expression in my life thus far.
hugs to all,
Crunchy, Christ-lovin' mama to dd13, ds8, dd6, dd5, ds3
Originally Posted by mama in the forest
I remember after my fifth baby was born.....he was born at 3:55 AM and by the time the sun came up I felt like taking a walk with him in the forest. I wrapped him really well (it was April but warm & sunny) and we walked into the forest. (it wasn't that far - it's just a few feet from my back door LOL....i'm not one to be up & shopping after birth!) Anyway, it was really quiet and I watched him HEAR birds for the first time. His facial movements were ever so slight.....and his eyes were very round......and he listened to the birds chirping for the first time in his existence. And it was just he and I......no one knew of him or had laid eyes upon him. It felt very sacred.
For me, the best part of my UC included the pregnancy itself. I chose to receive no outside prenatal care, and felt completely in myself - only responsible to me, only having to answer to me. Even my elderly, not usually so supportive, medical-minded parents told me I looked full of life. Because I was full of life. Not being routinely monitored was simple and freeing.
The best part of my birth was feeling so in touch with my baby on her way out. I got to experience the joy of her practically shooting into my and DP's hands (after 13 hours of labor).
And I will add that sitting in our empty bathtub holding my crying, then nursing, newborn, both of us covered in blood and blood clots (like a horror movie! ), was not the least bit embarrassing or uncomfortable. My euphoria filled me with energy, and I could understand how simply a family becomes; how easily life can enter and be held. With dd1 I was numb and in shock from having her pulled out by my anxious DEM - who tore my perineum badly in the process. Dd2's birth was rich and delicious...
unschooling, non-vaxing, writing, gardening, co-sleeping, critter-loving family :
Rich and delicious are such perfect words to describe UP/UC. When I think about my UC's it was like I was untouched.......yet so REAL and so rooted in the moment - with all of my body's natural juices & wastes. I didn't give a second thought to those things because it was all so private.
And the energy that surrounded me after my babe's have been born were like spaces......as though time stood still. It felt very pure not having any professionals there. Nobody filled those spaces for me. They were instead filled up by my baby's own presence and my family's love.
Me My Blog Mama to 7 babes & four spirit babies
I think my favorite thing was the peace of my delivery. The quiet dark house, being all alone to move and moan the way I needed to.
Well, maybe the most touching part was when I delivered my baby, we looked into eachothers eyes as I brought her to my breast and in her eye I saw God. The world stood still in the serenity of those moments.
I would absolutley do it again the same way- but maybe have a midwife and my husband in the next room next time!
I posted my story recently on the birthing stories board- but should have posted it here!
My last two were born in freestanding birthing centers with a midwife... however, until the actual birth the midwifes were very hands off and would only come in to check if everything was alright and offer something to eat or drink and sometimes help DH find the perfect place and way to massage me...
The birthing center was a very old building that used to be the house for the priest next to a church so it was an old, creaky and very friendly and not at all sterile looking place..
I laboured through the night with both my boys... (2 nights with my first) and what I remember the most was having tea on the upstairs balcony at about 3am, though it was near downtown Montreal, the balcony was facing towards the wooded park behind a school in a residential area... they were cool nights and Dh and I talked and laughed and listened to the wind in the trees...
It felt so good just to be alone with DH and I felt at peace with the contractions the whole time....
Having a UP has given me so much confidence and peace with my body... it just makes sense to do it alone...I am so looking forward to the birth....
Mama to Xavier (July 02) , Colin (Sept 04), Khéna(Nov 06) & Wilhelmina (Jan 10)
The hardest part of uc? Leaving the home your dc was born in. We're moving to a bigger home and it's a little sad but you can see the window to the room our son was born in from the stoplight across the street. We also had a up, which was wonderful to be left alone to listen to my body for its needs and not have people making me paranoid (however, some relatives have been blacklisted for the mean, terrible things they said).
So worth it though! :
ds1 3/05 ds2 5/07 dd 6/09
I remember being very specific for the previous two births - both with doulas but one in a hospital and one in a free standing birth center - that NO ONE was to utter a word to me about how to push. But somehow, they always did.
That's a big part of what led me to UC, not being told what to do.
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