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What was your journey in deciding to UC? |
This will be a bit long...
I wanted homebirths with a midwife with the first two but it wasn't legal so I had to go with a birthing center.
The midwifes were great (well most of them). However, the midwifes that were with me during my whole pregnancy were on vacation when I went into labour 2 weeks "late". Long labour, posterior baby that wouldn't engage, back labour the whole time, transfer to the hospital after 38 hours, midwife was supposed to stay with me at the hospital but said she was too tired though she, the docs, the nurses, my mom, my grandma talked me into an epi before she left (while dh was out of the room) and then they put a catheter in, was told that I was dehydrated but wouldn't allow me to drink, hooked me up to IV but didn't listen to me when I told them to do it in my hand because my viens are too fragile... sticked me about 7-8 times before listening to me and getting it on the first time in my hand. Given pitocin.
I was told that I would have to have a C/S and that there was no way around it. I had about 3-4 specialists come and see me... baby was to big, my pelvis was too small, I would never be able to give birth vaginally, every 30 min I felt raped by vaginal exams, they wouldn't even talk to me they would just tell me to open my legs, I tried to refuse the monitoring but they pressured me into it, at one point they lost DS's heartbeat and a team rushed in and instert an internal monitor... turns out the other one had just slipped...
After about 7 hours (about 3 pm) I was completely dialated but was told that they didn't want me to push because I would be having a C/S anyways (ds was still not engaged but it was the bag of water that had made me dialate.)
Though I am glad that they didn't start making me push I Had an anxiety attack because of the contant C/S talk, was given oxygen. When a doc came to do a vag exam he told me that he would break my water, I said no, he said "ooops"....
At 6 pm there was a shift change, a new doc came in and again talked about C/S asking what my fears were etc... saying it was just a little cut and then gave me until 8 pm to progress if not they would be going against my will and would take legal action... About 7:30 I said that I had pressure but the doc didn't believe me and checked and ds was still not engaged, they upped my epi. At about 7:55 the doc came in with a team to try to convince me (hospital psych etc) she went to check me and was surpised that ds's head was already out... she delivered him with only one gloved hand. I missed out on the birth completely. Two hours later I walked out of the hospital feeling totally violated, lied to and loathing my birth experience. I also lost feeling in one of my bigs toes and part of my foot because of the epi....(btw... ds was just under 8 pounds)
The second time around I moved out of Montreal while I was pregnant. I travelled an hour each way to go see the midwifes. My Dh doesn't have a licence and we don't know anyone around here so I was in many ways preparing for a UC if I coudn't get to the birthing center. I would not feel comfy to drive in labour. However, my water broke before contrax started while DH was at work (in Montreal also) and gave enough time for a friend of mine to pick him up come get me and drive back to MTL... Nursing DS kickstart labour but again he was posterior, back labour again, stalled at 3 cm again, threatened with a transfer started to lose myself completely, it bothered me that I was being so observed and that the midwifes would come in the room when I was having a contraction and I just wanted to be alone...
A new midwife arrived and did help quite a bit, she gave me back my confidence, she asked me what I wanted and told me to not listen to anyone but to listen to my body and myslef... she did give me a few suggestions but then had to leave (she wasn't my midwife and had other clients to get to) I listen to her suggestions and my labour started up again slightly.
I was tired though and my body wanted to rest, the other midwifes said not to and that it would stall my labour even more and really started to put me down...
I didn't listen to them and retreated inside myself and knew I had to relax. The midwifes were upset with me and talked about transfer again... I turned over, got comfy and started to relax... I fell asleep between contractions waking slightly when a contrax hit and when the midwifes would come check the Heartbeat...
The midwife that had came before came back to see how I was and when I turned over to talk to her I felt ds turn inside me, engage and my body took over at that second. I had slept through transition. Within a few minutes ds's head was out and he was blue with the cord tight around his neck 3 times (tight enough that he had bruises for days) they cut the cord even though I asked them not to. He was having trouble breathing and gave him oxygen (if they would have left the cord intact they wouldn't have had to) They wouldn't let me nurse him right away even though he was looking for the breast because he wasn't "pink" enough. The placenta came out and I started to hemorage, (if they would have let me nurse him, I don't think that it would have happened either.
Though I did get the feeling of empowerment that I missed out of with my first I still felt that my power had been taken from me, I wasn't in charge, It was still not my birth.
This time, I did call to get an appointment to see a mw (even though I would have prepared for a UC) but they no longer take patients outside of MTL, another birth center equally far also no longer takes patients outside of their region. An OB is not an option so my only other option was a UP... I am now very happy about it....
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What did/does your partner think? |
UP... no prob... UC... was a bit surprised and nervous but feeling better about it each day...
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Do you have friends that also UC and support you? |
No, no one has even really heard of choosing to have a UC, but those who know support me but have questions but in a good way. I am very careful though about who I am friends with anyways so for them the idea is not too far fetched but makes sense...
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What is your biggest concern and what is the greatest benefit? |
Death of course, the same concern that I would have anywhere. Benifits? Giving birth unhindered without any intervention. Finally owning the birth experience. Not getting bad advice or being threatened when things don't go fast enough and not feeling like a burdun or feeling observed. and the greatest Benefit is that I truly believe that my child will be safer with an unhindered birth.