Hubby won't let me have my UC - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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Old 07-10-2006, 01:52 PM
 
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Originally Posted by zoebird
i recommend that you remind your husband that this is your body and your birth.

i recommend that you remind your husband that he doesn't "Let" you do anything. YOu choose to do things and you take his feelings into consideration when making decisions. YOu do not "let" him make decisions for you and you do not "Let" his judgement overturn your own.

i'm sorry that his fears are clouding his ability to see your wisdom.
sorry, but I disagree totally with this. I absolutely would agree with this statement when talking about a MW assisted homebirth. However, your husband will have a LOT of responsibility at a UC. From everything I've read on these boards, husbands often are expected to help with positioning, cord, etc. Sounds like he's just not up for it.

If you could UC without any help from him, then that might be a different story. I was just under the impression that even with a UC, you often need some help (like the post about dystocia positioning, etc.)

I am sorry for your loss of Marissa. Healing wishes to you!
XOXO
B

mama to Milena Anjali (4/26/06) and Vincent Asher (4/13/09) ~ married to the love of my life since 2002.
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Old 07-10-2006, 02:57 PM
 
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The difference is that nobody here is saying to her husband, "you have to play the role I tell you to in birth, whether you like it or not." The husband has the choice whether to be involved or not, just not a choice in where his wife gives birth and whether other people are there to observe and manipulate the process.

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I was just under the impression that even with a UC, you often need some help (like the post about dystocia positioning, etc.)
Not at all. The point of UC for many of us is to not have *anyone* acting in the role of midwife.
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Old 07-10-2006, 03:11 PM
 
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I don't believe that anything happens by chance.
Yes, ITA

My thoughts are with you and yours. I hope today you've found a little more clarity and peace and are on your way to your birth that is meant to be

I have retired from administration work, so if you have a question about anything MDC-related, please contact Cynthia Mosher. Thanks!
 
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Old 07-10-2006, 03:19 PM
 
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However, your husband will have a LOT of responsibility at a UC. From everything I've read on these boards, husbands often are expected to help with positioning, cord, etc. Sounds like he's just not up for it.
I don't agree with this statement. I don't know that it's that husbands are EXPECTED to do any particular thing or be any particular thing.......I think it is just they are the counterpart to the entire sexual process and as such, will be in the role that supports their partner's needs & feelings. This is true for any kind of birthing. Each woman is different. What we all have in common in UC is that we do NOT want anyone acting in a role of health care professional.

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Old 07-10-2006, 03:26 PM
 
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I don't expect my dh to be invovled with the birth of our child unless he wants to. I do not want anyone acting like a birth attendant. I do not think a woman needs her dh's help while birthing anymore than I think she needs an OB or midwife. Although I do think the father of the baby being present at said baby's birth is fitting (in most cases) and not a hinderance (again in most cases).


barefoot mama, I hope you have found peace with your up coming birth. I hope your dh has as well. You and your family have remained in my heart and thoughts.

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
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Old 07-10-2006, 03:31 PM
 
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UC = need help? HUH?

The support role I have prepared my dh for with the UC is the same as I would want with a midwife. Blow up the fishy pool if needed, bring me food and drink, do what I say, here are some hypnosis cues you can use, here is an herb you can give me to get me to settle down if needed... and if I pass out please call 911 before you try anything else.

If I have dystocia, it will be me working with my body to overcome that. It would be very "un-UC" to me to have DH telling me what position to get in - as if he would know!
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Old 07-10-2006, 06:59 PM
 
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I want to talk about husband's role but don't want to hijack the thread-will start a new one now. I hope you'll all come give your opinions.

Laura, CBE and mom to Maddiewaterbirth.jpg ( 06/03/04) & Graceuc.jpg (  09/10/06)
 
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