Need some support and advice, I feel like I'm going crazy!!! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 57 Old 08-30-2006, 12:53 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay. I'm 12 days past my due date (doctors would say I'm 19 past, but I know the day I concieved)

I feel crazy. I have waited sooo long for this little baby. My husband and I were TTC for over 3 years.

I think I might be in early labor, but I am too afraid to hope.
Because everyone in my family and my husband's family were at least 12 days early (brother, sisters, me, DH, cousins, neices nephews everyone) I was sure this little child would be here over three weeks ago. I can totally handle the physical part of being preg, I'm not complaining about that. It's just that every time something happens, I hope that "this is it", then 2 days later, no baby, and I get depressed and I cry, and it is just horrible.

I feel like I can't take it anymore

2 weeks ago, I started to lose very small peices of my mucous plug, I wasn't sure it was the plug till last saturday morning when I lost a golf ball sized piece. (I was soo excited!!, then I cried sunday morning when still...no baby) I lost more on sunday (almost as big as saturday's) and I lost 2 more on Monday.

Yesterday afternoon, I had this almost overwhelming feeling of anticipation, like I was on the cusp of something. Contractions started an hour later (yay!!) and I did everything I could to not get excited, but I couldn't help it. After and hour, the ctx were gone. I got mad, I hit things, I cried, I don't mind the waiting so much as these "false alarms" are driving me crazy. I still had this "tonight's the night" feeling.
My husband got home frome work, and more ctx started (yay again) they started to get more regular, and they were very strong. I took a shower, and things started to really feel "Real" I got excited, I told my husband, "this is it" and we were ecstatic, feeling we'd have our baby soon.
I decided that I should get some sleep while I could, and my husband should sleep just in case it was a false alarm and he still had to go to work.

I woke up an hour later, with pain radiating through my back and abdomen, and really strong ctx I was soo happy!!!
I have never been so glad for pain in my entire life. I got up, it hurt really bad to move off the bed (yay!!) and I went to the bathroom. I had diarea, and imediately...the pain stopped, and no more ctx. I waited for an hour....still nothing.
I couldn't go back to sleep, it's been 12 hours since then, and I've only had 3 BH ctx the whole time and that's it.

I AM GOING CRAZY!!!!!!! :
I just can't take this!!!!!
I need to have this baby!!!!!


Am I in early labor or what? Is this baby coming soon, or could it be another week or so?
It seems so close, and yet so far away.
I can't think about my baby, or imagine her here, I can't go into her room with the little clothes, and the diapers all ready for her little self. It just hurts too much to hope any more. It just seems so unreal, I feel detached, and depressed like I cant go on. I don't want to feel this way, I want to be happy for my little person, but the anticipation is literally killing me, just can't take it anymore. :



~Moose
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#2 of 57 Old 08-30-2006, 01:09 AM
 
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: Hang in there!!!

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#3 of 57 Old 08-30-2006, 01:49 AM
 
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I'm sorry. This is why due dates should be avoided like the plague! I felt that way my last time, too, feeling SO excited and happy to be feeling those first contractions... which then seemed to go nowhere. I also had abdominal cramping and loss of mucus for three weeks, then I had two full nights of contractions that stopped with the daylight. The birth itself was another full nights of contractions and the morning of the fourth day she was born.

Get as much rest as you can. The next time you start having contractions, say to them, "hmph! You want me to pay attention to you after those false alarms? Well I'll show you!" and then just go on with your day (or night) as usual. If you don't have expectations (of when it's going to happen,) they can't be shattered, right? Let your body decide. It really does know best. And look at it this way -- all this work your body is doing *is* accomplishing something. It's getting it more and more ready for the big final event.



p.s. about your relatives all having early babies? Were *none* of them induced? It's actually more common for first babies to be born naturally after 41 weeks.
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#4 of 57 Old 08-30-2006, 02:11 AM
 
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I know too well that feeling - being depressed when you wake up in the morning b/c you just knew the night before would be it, but yet you're somehow still pregnant. It really does sound like labor is just around the corner. With my most recent births (twins) I had the loose bowel thing occur just a bit before I actually went into labor. I think it was actually a day & a half before, if I'm remembering it correctly. In my case, all that work led to quick births. Hang in there - this is not for nothing. You'll be meeting your little one soon!

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#5 of 57 Old 08-30-2006, 03:22 AM
 
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It sounds like you're in early labour to me so I'd say it should be soon... Try to sleep between the contractions as much as possible and that'll make the time go by more quickly. The last two days I was pregnant I spent sleeping and when I couldn't sleep between the contractions anymore then I knew it was getting really close!

I had about two weeks of early labour and then two days of really intense early labour and only 6 hours of active labour, so the longer the early labour the better, I think Hang in there!

love and peace.

mama to two girls and due in November!
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#6 of 57 Old 08-30-2006, 03:26 AM
 
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Sister you and I are in a similar boat! I am 11 days past my "due" date, have been losing chunks of mucus plug for two weeks, have contractions that are painful until I poop, and having spells of contractions that eventually, just go away. Frustrating!
I just keep telling myself that all this teasing is ripening me up like a nice peach (wise words from a wise midwife friend) And I found a lovely quote somewhere on one of these forums... "facilitate what is happening rather than what you think ought to be happening. When the baby is born, the mother will rightly say, 'we did it ourselves.' -Lao Tzu
Just writing in because I have benefited from lurking around on "your" thread! You're not alone!
Our babies are clever! They know when they are ready to come out!
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#7 of 57 Old 08-30-2006, 03:46 AM
 
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It can't be too much longer! With my last I had contracts on and off for a week and each time I thought this is it and even called dh home from workbut when it was the real thing I knew it. Enjoy having these last few days with that big baby belly! It will be over before you know it!

~Lanie mom to Layne, Liam, Maren, Meridian, and Melora
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#8 of 57 Old 08-30-2006, 04:12 AM
 
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Just like the pp I had the loose bowels about 36 hours before my son was born. It happened on Wednesday night and he was born friday morning. You are so close. You are doing great. One thing that someone said to me that helped at the end was that this was the last of the time I would have the baby all to myself. I tried to enjoy those last few hours and days before the whole world would be clammoring for my baby.
Wendi
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#9 of 57 Old 08-30-2006, 04:12 AM
 
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Dear Moose,

I've been doing the same thing for the past couple of weeks and Sunday we thought "for sure" as nothing ebatted the ctx. Then I went to bed to get some sleep before the "big event" and WOKE UP IN THE MORNING!!!! No ctx, no nothing!!! This happened with my ds last pregnancy 3x as well. When I did go into productive labour with him, it was only 2 hrs.

So, my theory is that you ARE in labour and are probably dilating as we speak, it is just "easy" labour because you really aren't working with the ctx. When the you do go into productive labour, you'll probably start out at 6cms and progress rapidly....at least that is what I keep telling myself!!!
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#10 of 57 Old 08-30-2006, 04:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fourlittlebirds
p.s. about your relatives all having early babies? Were *none* of them induced? It's actually more common for first babies to be born naturally after 41 weeks.
Well, I'm not sure about my husband's cousins, but mine (I only have three) were not induced, and none of my brothers or sisters, and none of my DH brothers and sisters were induced. In fact, my DH and his sister tried to come 6 weeks early, and his mom was on bed rest and drugs to stop labor and they still came 2 weeks before their EDD. One of his brothers tried to come 5 weeks early, and ended up coming 3 weeks early.
I personally was 31 days early.
My brother was the latest in the family at 12 days early, and he was my moms biggest baby at 9 lbs something.

mammalmama,
I'm sorry to hear that you are going through the same thing, but it is really nice to know that I'm not alone.

I'm trying so hard not to be excited, or hope, but this is so big, I've waited so long, I can't help myself
I keep telling me that I should just ignore the ctx until I know but it isn't really doing any good.
I really want to enjoy these last few days, but it's really hard.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cdnmom
So, my theory is that you ARE in labour and are probably dilating as we speak, it is just "easy" labour because you really aren't working with the ctx. When the you do go into productive labour, you'll probably start out at 6cms and progress rapidly....at least that is what I keep telling myself!!!
That's what I keep telling myself too!!
I think it's the last thing that's keeping me sane!! :

~Moose
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#11 of 57 Old 08-30-2006, 05:22 AM
 
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Plan stuff! lol, Activities with a friend, date night with DH, a cooking to freeze meals spree...anything that takes a long time and requires your attention. Murphey's law is bound to "screw it up" by sending you into full blown labor right??

My very close friend went through the exact same deal you're going through, and we just kept doing things to take her mind off of it. She had a really hard time concentrating on anything though, because she was so anxious, hopeful, and excited! What finally did it was sitting on the birth ball and rolling her hips around until she could no longer sit comfortably. That night she felt pretty tired and worn down, so she went to sleep early. The next day she took it easy, went for a few long quiet walks and had plenty of "conversations" with the babe about patience and all that....anyway, that night she went to sleep after she vowed to just LET GO of the anxiety and all the false alarms and to just go with it. Next false alarm, she was just going to say to herself (and she really believed) that it was her body's way of preparing for this babe's unique birth. Maybe there is a reason that she didnt know of that her body was taking its sweet old time to slowly wind up to full on labor. Well, she had a lot of good cries, emotional outbursts and angry pillow smashing sessions....the NEXT day (so this was kind of a 3 day emotional process for her) she went into labor and had the babe in the middle of that night.
Not sure if that was helpful or not, just thought I'd share. Maybe your body is slowly winding up for a reason too

Sending peaceful labor vibes your way! Come on baby!

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#12 of 57 Old 08-30-2006, 06:20 AM
 
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I went through this with DD#2, but I was only 10 days after that magical due date
I remember being impatient, and how annoyed I was...and that is about all I can recall. I do know though, that it is BEYOND frustrating and no one else seems to understand.
I would rent some comedies. Some ultra funny comedies and plan a movie night with your dp. Get some snacks, and fresh batteries for the remote..and veg.
Laughing could bring on labor, and if not it could be a night cherished by you and dp as your last big date night before the baby...
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#13 of 57 Old 08-30-2006, 06:21 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shell024
Plan stuff! lol, Activities with a friend, date night with DH, a cooking to freeze meals spree...anything that takes a long time and requires your attention. Murphey's law is bound to "screw it up" by sending you into full blown labor right??

Yep, that is totally the truth.
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#14 of 57 Old 08-30-2006, 06:53 AM
 
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Start having lots of sex. That's what my midwife said to do (DS was two weeks late). We couldn't though. DS' head was pressing on the side of my vagina and my DH just couldn't get past the fact that he was bonking our son on the head.

Seriously, though. If you can talk your DH into it, sex helps.
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#15 of 57 Old 08-30-2006, 08:33 AM
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oral sex can work, btw. swallowing can put the same chemicals into the body--absorption is different, but it can help.
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#16 of 57 Old 08-30-2006, 11:21 AM
 
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For those who are late, please send some of those vibes my way! I really need to be late! I'm moving 2 weeks after my due date, and I don't want to have the baby here, only to have to unpack stuff that is still packed up and then have to pack it up again. If you want to dump the lateness on me, I'm all for it! Keep it coming! You lucky ducks!
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#17 of 57 Old 08-30-2006, 11:48 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alisaterry
Start having lots of sex.
I kind of suspect that using semen as an induction agent is over-rated. Can't hurt to try though! Orgasm is good too (as strong as possible) because it stimulates the uterus into contracting, releases oxytocin, and relaxes you. Stress and anxiety are of course going to keep your body putting this off as long as possible, so that's really important. Try to get into a positive mindset, do things that make you feel good, make time with your dh to be loving and affectionate with each other, just spending time together. That'll get the oxytocin flowing.
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#18 of 57 Old 08-30-2006, 12:23 PM
 
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orgasms contract your utrus, whick like the pp said could help you out.... i know its hard to wait mama, but justrraliz that she'll be here soon and, plz take it from mamas who know, rest as much as possiable, your gonna ned it for labor... good luck Moose

We may not have it all together, but together we have it all , Loving their daddy, my hubby, our soldier
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#19 of 57 Old 08-30-2006, 01:38 PM
 
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Here are some suggestions... feel free to try none BTW

go see a movie. any will do. just watch it and don't think about having a baby.

or, watch a movie at home and do nipple stimulation

or, have silly sex and take pictures because you're not gonna believe you were ever as huge once you've had the baby. and maybe while you're at it, it'll get labor going...

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#20 of 57 Old 08-30-2006, 03:17 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fourlittlebirds
I kind of suspect that using semen as an induction agent is over-rated. Can't hurt to try though! Orgasm is good too (as strong as possible) because it stimulates the uterus into contracting, releases oxytocin, and relaxes you. Stress and anxiety are of course going to keep your body putting this off as long as possible, so that's really important. Try to get into a positive mindset, do things that make you feel good, make time with your dh to be loving and affectionate with each other, just spending time together. That'll get the oxytocin flowing.
I always thought it was the motions and orgasm that did it. At the very least, it should put one in a good mood!
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#21 of 57 Old 08-30-2006, 04:37 PM
 
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This may sound strange, but I have talked to so many women with new babies recently, and every one who went in to labor on her own had that case of I just can't do it, can't be pregnant anymore, I want my baby now kinda thing. So I've been thinking for some time now that pregnancy has it's own transition just like labor has a transition point, where things are so incredibly intense that it can be hard to handle. It's an emotional signpost that goes with the physical signposts of lost mucus plugs and such.

I could say, just relax and enjoy this time, you won't get to be pregnant for much longer, and you'll miss it when it's gone, but it sounds like you're way past the point of that being helpful. So I'll just say that IME, this feeling is an inherent part of the process of moving from pregnancy to birth, and being there means you're that much closer to holding that little babe in your arms. Sounds like you're definitely close. Keep up the good work mama.

P.S. (Labor vibes pour vous ~~~~babybabybabybaby~~~~)
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#22 of 57 Old 08-31-2006, 12:00 AM
 
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Yes, it is coming! your anticipation and longing are as important as the birth itself. every little twinge is preparing you for the ultimate event: birthing that beautiful child.

it will be soon, try to rest if you can.
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#23 of 57 Old 08-31-2006, 02:49 AM
 
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My mom went overdue with three of her four babies about two weeks (Not ME! I'm the prompt one that showed up on my due date--uninduced). She said a surefire way to make sure you go into labor is to exhaust and distract yourself all day, then right before you collapse into bed, say VERY loudly to your partner (and loudly enough for the baby to hear clearly, too), "This is the ONE night I do NOT want to have this baby."

Supposedly, it works like a charm!

.....that could just be that all her kids were contrary, though.....

Good luck! Hang in there! We're all rooting for you!
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#24 of 57 Old 08-31-2006, 03:02 AM
 
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Just wondering if there is any change yet? I am hoping labor begins soon (or already has)!

Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
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#25 of 57 Old 08-31-2006, 06:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Qalliope
I could say, just relax and enjoy this time, you won't get to be pregnant for much longer, and you'll miss it when it's gone, but it sounds like you're way past the point of that being helpful.
Oh yes, definately true.
I like your idea of pregnancy transition. It makes perfect sense.

Quote:
Originally Posted by augustacherri
a surefire way to make sure you go into labor is to exhaust and distract yourself all day, then right before you collapse into bed, say VERY loudly to your partner (and loudly enough for the baby to hear clearly, too), "This is the ONE night I do NOT want to have this baby."

Supposedly, it works like a charm!

.....that could just be that all her kids were contrary, though.....
: I think I might try that. My baby is very contrary. I once asked her if we could find a position where we were both comfortable, and I totally heard this little voice in my head that said "well, I'm comfortable!!"
Little monster!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kidzaplenty
Just wondering if there is any change yet? I am hoping labor begins soon (or already has)!
Not yet (sigh)
I think I figured it out though. She is waiting until september so she is past the school deadline and I have an extra year to convinve DH to home school!!
(I think he thinks that we are not mature enough to handle the full responsibility of educating another human being!!)

I guess she'll come when she is ready. (sigh) it'd better be soon.....
I really beleive that I am in labor, just early labor, she'll be here soon.

~Moose
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#26 of 57 Old 08-31-2006, 12:16 PM
 
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Good luck to you, Moose! I hope she's in your arms soon. :
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#27 of 57 Old 08-31-2006, 01:01 PM
 
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plz darling keep us updated......... SEX worked everytime for me.. nipple stimulation....ohhhh EAT something SPICY.. a fire hot taco!!!!and then rock out to some load music.. thats my fav thign to do right before i had both my babys... good luck Moose

We may not have it all together, but together we have it all , Loving their daddy, my hubby, our soldier
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#28 of 57 Old 08-31-2006, 01:44 PM
 
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I'm so excited for you Moose! With my #1 I actually went a week early (I know you don't want to hear that ) But I wasn't ready! I LOVED being pregnant and was actually sad that it was over, I fully expected, it being my first time and all that I would go AT LEAST one week overdue, possibly two.

Anyway, KIND of started things with this last babe (approaching 5 months old now) Dh and I got together (it was goofy uncomfortable, and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone kind of sex) But contractions started immediately and lasted the weekend (it was saturday afternoon) She was born late Monday after a very SHORT (aprx 2 1/2 hours) easy active labor.

Good Luck, hon. Try to remember what a magical time you are in the middle of, it's right around the corner now. We're all cheering for you!!

Kat

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#29 of 57 Old 08-31-2006, 06:57 PM
 
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#30 of 57 Old 09-01-2006, 01:42 AM
 
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if you haven't birth yet- I really believe you are in prodromal labor. That's good! But tiring. Try to rest for the BIG moment ~ it's coming soon!

all my best

Mama to 5 babies. UCer, too!
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