very sad,depressed and generally bummed out right now... - Mothering Forums

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Old 09-30-2006, 12:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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HI mamas. I need some encouragement. baby # 3 just turned 6 months (holy cow!) and Dh and I really want to be pregnant by January. But there is one little problem. I am the heaviest I have ever been in my life. After Savvy was born, my weight put me over the threshold for my bp to be normal. And that scares me and Dh tremendously. I am usually 120/70 when not pregnant, and the day SAvvy was born, we went to the dr for a once-over and found my bp to be 150/112 (7 hrs after labor) I am now on bp medication- low dosage mind you and haven't been able to lose any weight. If my bp and weight are unmanageable, I don't think a UC is in the cards for me. We are going to see our GP next week to talk about this and see what my options are.
Here are some we have been discussing so far.
The Gastric-bypass surgery: PROS: rapid weightloss CONS: surgery!
Aerobics and exercize PROS: has worked for me in the past CONS: I have no energy to do anything because I am totally exhausted 24/7 due to my thyroid isssues.
Drugs are out- still nursing.
And to make matters worse, I am so depressed, I am EATING away my sorrows!!!!!!!!!!!!!


HELP HELP HELP!
what do I do????

thanks for listening!

love
aj

Mama to 5 babies. UCer, too!
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Old 09-30-2006, 12:47 PM
 
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I am so sorry you are so sad! I really have no words of wisdom but I want you to know I am thinking of you. I eat when I am depressed too, which just makes me more depressed. Please let us know how things go at the dr's next week!

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Old 09-30-2006, 01:20 PM
 
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Do you have a Curves or a Curves-type-spinoff in your area? It's just a 30 minute workout, and they only reccomend 3 times a week. Could you fit that in? Could you get yourself to do it? I will say that they don't offer childcare but since you'll only be gone an hour max (factoring in driving time) it's not usually too hard to get away.

It's stregth training which will help boost your metabolism. And then the exercising should help with your depression which in turn should help you control your eating habits. Or you could do exercise and something like weight watchers. I know in my town they have weight watchers meetings you can bring your kids to.

If you want more info on curves type stuff just pm me. I'm an assistant manager there. Also there's going to be a good special soon but I can't post it here but I can pm it to you.

Rachel, mom to Jake (5/04) and Alexia (7/07) a surprise UC thanks to hypnobabies!
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Old 09-30-2006, 01:21 PM
 
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Oh and I was going to add that 2 of the cons to gastric bypass are that if you still don't change your eating habits than you can and will regain the weight and also I imagine there is a recovery time for quite awhile and they probably tell you not to get pregnant for so many months after the surgery.

Rachel, mom to Jake (5/04) and Alexia (7/07) a surprise UC thanks to hypnobabies!
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Old 09-30-2006, 01:44 PM
 
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Just curious... Have you had your thyroid checked?

Mama to Tornado Boy (6/04), The Brute (11/06), and Mischief (05/09)... expecting in February '15
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Old 09-30-2006, 01:53 PM
 
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You CAN gain weight back after gastric bypass, if you don't follow the diet well. That aside, it is recommended that you wait at least 1yr following the surgery to get pregnant. That is a RECOMMENDATION, not a rule. And I've seen patients have successful pregnancies as early as 6mos post-op. In most places, there is a wait to have the sugery (have to see dietitian, pshchiatrist, lab work, etc...). I doubt that if you started now, that you would even have the surgery by January.
I'm a bariatric dietitian (can you tell?)
Are you dead-set on January?
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Old 09-30-2006, 01:57 PM
 
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Sounds like the number one thing is to get your thyroid issues under control. Then you would have the energy to do the diet-and-exercise thing.
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Old 09-30-2006, 01:57 PM
 
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Sounds to me like you should really prioritize getting healthy over TTC #4. Of course I don't know your reasons, but #3 is still so young it seems like you have the time. Best of luck!
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Old 09-30-2006, 07:26 PM
 
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Oh amyjeans!

Have you heard of t-tapp?? It doesn't require going out and running 6 miles...you can do it in 15-20 min and ds always enjoyed watching. It GIVES me energy that I usually think is impossible to uncover.

www.t-tapp.com

there's also a thread here on mdc http://www.mothering.com/discussions...ghlight=t-tapp

So sorry you aren't feeling too great. Eat plenty of veggies & protein throughout the day and take walks with the wee in

Creating Art. Living life on Guam. Sharing my Journey.

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Old 09-30-2006, 07:46 PM
 
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IMO, you should concentrate on being healthy and put having babies so close in age out of your mind. Give your body another year to recover, pregnancy isn't easy on it! Your babies will still be close enough to be playmates, if that is your worry and you'll feel a lot better for it

Amy ~ Web Designing Single Mom to 4: DD14, DS12, DS5, DS3
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Old 10-01-2006, 12:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for your responses mamas. I had my thyroid taken out in 1998 and I still haven't got my meds under control! That's a whole other thread!
As for having the babies so close together, I know its crazy but I am a birth addict (how selfish) and my dh and I are in baby mode, but I agree, some time is needed before baby comes.
I guess I am just pushing too hard in all the wrong directions.
Thanks for the hugs again- I so needed that.
lots of love!
aj

Mama to 5 babies. UCer, too!
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Old 10-01-2006, 11:31 AM
 
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Well.... from one overweight mom to another...

I guess I am lucky because weight does not affect my BP at all... I actually have a very low BP especially in pregancy.

Anyways.... I have lost weight in the past (a bit more than 50 pounds) and I have managed to keep that weight off during three pregnancies and plan on losing more after this babe is born (I would like to lose another 100 pounds)...
Really I have changed the way that I view food... I don't deprive myself of the things that I love but I do eat them less often.
I have included a lot more veggies and beans to my diet, good fats, whole foods etc... Making foods from scratch instead of going for processed foods gets rid of so many unneeded and hidden sugars and salts.
I also don't eat just for the sake of eating anymore... (boredom, sad etc) It was something that came gradually but it has made a big difference. Now if I eat it is because I am hungry.

I think the best thing that you can do is not focus on the weight as much but focus on what kind of foods will help your heart and help your BP... don't look at the big picture but have just little goals... You can change a lot of habits in three months if you are deadset on that as your goal...

 
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Old 10-01-2006, 01:59 PM
 
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AmyJean, have you heard of Dr. Furhman's weight loss plan. It's the healthiest I have ever come across (it's healthy even if you aren't trying to lose weight) and detoxifying too. I did it a over a year ago and lost at least 50 Ibs, I was also walking every day. My BP was a little high when I started and went down a lot as I started eating better. Anyway, it's a very healthy way to eat and I felt wonderful while I was eating that way. I fell of the wagon when I got preg, hope to get back to it when I have this baby. I am not a diet guru followe/worshiper and detest most of that kind of crap. But Dr. Furhamn's book spoke to me from a health stand point and I think he knows what he's talking about. He believes in healing the body through nutrition not drugs and he is a medical doctor (which surprises me). Anyway, I thought I'd throw that out there. I'm truly not trying to be obnoxious.

Heather

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Old 10-01-2006, 03:11 PM
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the thyroid issue that i had was brought on by eating processed foods.

when i moved to a whole foods (natural foods), vegetarian, soy-free diet, my thyroid problem cleared up on it's own.

it might help you out on both counts.
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Old 10-01-2006, 03:17 PM
 
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Amyjeans, big hugs to you, I am echoing the good advice to take care of you before you have another baby. Sometimes we can do things to not look at other things...I think your body is telling you that it wants you to address the body before you have another baby. Someone close to me does not have a thyroid, and I know the struggles to find the right dosage, and that needs to be addressed first. You have plenty of time for babies, right now mama needs some attention! good luck.
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Old 10-02-2006, 08:32 PM
 
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I know what a struggle it is to eat right and be active, especially with a baby always at your breast! One thing I've found that helps me though is to limit my computer time. It makes me tired so I tend to be less motivated to do other things.

Are you getting EFAs somehow? They lowered my blood pressure dramatically.
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Old 10-02-2006, 08:38 PM
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I'm so sorry you're depressed, Amy I have had my fair share of depression as well, so I know how you feel. I agree with the general consensus that you should get your health problems squared away before trying to conceive again. It will just be that much harder on your body and your emotions.

Speaking of emotions, overeating when one is depressed is not an easy thing to get under control, as I'm sure you know. I've been there at times, and so has my mom who has struggled with this for a good portion of her life. Have you ever heard of Overeaters Anonymous? http://www.oa.org/index.htm It's a place you can go and be with others who are experiencing similar emotions and habits...a place where you can share with others who have been there and possibly gain new insights from other people's stories. This kind of thing is so much easier to deal with when you don't feel so alone...in my opinion, anyway.

I also want to say that depression is something that's highly detrimental to ignore...it cannot be fixed with anything in the outside world: whether it be food, babies, love, whatever. The only way to get passed it for good is to find the root of the problem. It could simply be because you've had your thyroid taken out or it could be more than that. What's stopping you from figuring out what you need to do?
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Old 10-02-2006, 08:52 PM
 
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I haven't read any replies, so I might be repeating what someone else had already said.
I wonder if your thyroid problem is affecting your weight and bp issues. may be you should be working on thyroid instead of bp alone.
it seems like if you can get your thyroid to what it needs to be, then you'll have more energy to do things like excersise, but also this alone might help with your weight and bp.
good luck!

Valeria
dd 05.17.2005
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Old 10-03-2006, 01:35 AM
 
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Hi amyjeans!


I know it's hard finding time to exercise when you have a six month old and two older children


I hope you feel better soon! You are such an amazing woman!
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Old 10-03-2006, 07:40 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
What's stopping you from figuring out what you need to do?
That is a very very very good question! Thanks for asking it. Friday, when I see my doctor, I will talk about this. I also think I need to have a heart to heart with my dh. A lot of my motivation comes from him. I hope motivation is the proper word. I think I might be delving into an area of my life that maybe I was afraid to approach, if you know what I mean.
Anyway, again you mamas are wonderful and I am taking everyone's suggestion seriously and will post after the meeting on Friday.
lots of love
aj

Mama to 5 babies. UCer, too!
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Old 10-03-2006, 08:06 AM
 
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please don't have the surgery. A friend of mine had a close friend die from it only a year ago.

good luck with whatever you decide re: TTC #4.

preg. weight can be so hard to lose. My babe is already 9 months and Im still struggling. I never struggled like this with teh first 2.

s
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Old 10-06-2006, 08:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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hi mamas- I cancelled my appt today, because the girls and I have a terrible cold we're dealing with.
So last night I spilled my guts out to my dh and begged him not to respond, but listen, which he did. It was nice but frightening to tell him how I felt. I feel so ugly right now. and even if we wanted to get pregnant, I don't think sex would occur. that's one of my issues. I'm not sleeping, no interest in anything and have zero energy. I would love to just crawl into bed and sleep for a few days.
Sorry - tmi I guess. I rescheduled the appt for the 21st, here's hoping.
Thanks for listening.

Mama to 5 babies. UCer, too!
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Old 10-06-2006, 08:32 PM
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I'm so sorry, Amy. I'm sending you lots of warm energy

Maybe take some valerian root to help you sleep? It always helps me.
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Old 10-21-2006, 12:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, I had my appt with my GP, who happens to be our family dr.
She is mainstream but does not judge us based on our choices. (how nice!)
The good news: I am still alive and should be for some time!
The bad? Well, my BP is 120/70 ON MEDS. I asked if I could go off the meds and see what happens. She chuckled and said, perhaps if you make a lifestyle change and drop 40lbs, we'll talk. Now I want to go off meds, lose weight so I can be pregnant with baby #4. If I have high bp- I would want to birth under supervision. I am too afraid of what could happen.
So I tell her this, and of course she is opposed to homebirth.(surprise?) I nodded my head andsid, I know where you stand on this and you know where I stand. let's leave it at that.
So we move on. I said, I was considering the bypass surgery. She is all for it, unless I plan on more kids (which I am), then she said not to do it until I was done with babies. The concern is that after the surgery, one of the complications is poor absorption of vital nutrients and becoming anemic.
I've been there, not any fun!. If I become pregnant, then any nutrients I get would go straight to the baby, and I would get nothing.
Okay. So now I need to lose weight, get off BP meds, stablize my bp, to get pregnant.
Then she asks how my moods have been. Well-you know live hasn't been a bowl of sunshine lately. SO I tell her how I have been feeling, depression, etc. She asks me to take a short test and guess what??? I have the classic signs of being bi-polar!
Super~
So now, she reccommends a counselor and some meds- but the meds and not to be taken by NURSING women. Now baby #3 is 7 mo. She said to look at the big picture- making it to 6 months is great, 1 yr is better for nursing, but I need to think of my health.
After that- I fell silent. I am totally devistated.
I don't know what to do.
what do you think?

thanks for your input!

Mama to 5 babies. UCer, too!
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Old 10-21-2006, 01:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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bump

Mama to 5 babies. UCer, too!
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Old 10-21-2006, 01:47 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amyjeans View Post
So now, she reccommends a counselor and some meds- but the meds and not to be taken by NURSING women. Now baby #3 is 7 mo. She said to look at the big picture- making it to 6 months is great, 1 yr is better for nursing, but I need to think of my health.
After that- I fell silent. I am totally devistated.
I don't know what to do.
what do you think?

thanks for your input!
i dont know Amy. this seems a common reaction from medication professionals.

you need to do what you need to do. i will tell you that i have ADD and anxiety. and since dh and i have separated, im pretty sure i would qualify for a dx of depression about right now. Before getting preg., i was taking Concerta and Lexapro for my ADD and anxiety. I stopped taking them and wont take them again until im not nursing (ds is 9 months old right now and i plan to CLW). yes, life is much "clearer" on the meds but its a decision i have chosen to make for the health of my son. Please don't get me wrong...i am not judging you if you decide to take the meds instead of nurse. But please think about this really hard. Sometimes medications dont work for ppl. Many med's like these take several weeks/months to kick in, in the meantime leaving you very tired, etc. You can read the manufacturers inserts on the specific ones.

My therapist used to say that the medication is more important than nursing if lack of the medication is causing you to not be able to take care of your life or your children. I guess that means you have to figure out which is more important.

ADD causes me a lot of problems with an infant and no medication. However, im a sahm right now and dont have to have my full brain power to function. if i were working, i would have a lot more problems than i do right now. Anxiety i usually try to deal with by chilling out with my knitting, drinking a cup of tea, posting on mdc or calling a friend. none of these remedies is as easy as the medication but i cant imagine giving my baby formula.

maybe you just need to re-evaluate your time schedule here. there are many things pointing to delaying your TTC, MOST of them involve your health. Maybe G-d, or some deity, is sending you a message to wait. I know thats not real nice to hear but its something.

I would love to be involved with a weight loss support group if you are interested. i need to lose my baby weight. im 5'9 so my weight gain doesnt show AS MUCH sometimes (ppl are a little surprised when i say how much i need to lose), but i need to lose between 30-40 lbs too (there, i said it).

i hope you get more support here. i hope you can think about the obstacles that are in your path as possible warning signs and not feel so resentful towards them. i know im asking alot here. if you begin now, though, you may be able to accomplish some of your goals by Jan.

s

rach
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Old 10-21-2006, 01:56 PM
 
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Hey Amy,
I am so sorry to hear that you are struggling with all of these health issues while wanting to TTC. I totally understand where you are coming from...a year and a half ago, I was 100+ lbs overweight and had been for years. Instead of gastric bypass, I opted to do Lap-Band surgery, and I have been so happy with it. It is different from gastric bypass in that it doesn't change how your body absorbs food/nutrients and it is fully reversible. I lost 60 lbs. the first year post-op, and then I found out I was pg with #4 So far, I have had no issues with my band during pg, although I am going to have some of the fluid taken out in the next couple of weeks so that I can eat a little more...baby seems hungry ALL the time right now

I hope you can resolve these issues and find a solution that feels right to you. PM me if you want to ask any questions or just to chat.

Leigh-ann
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Old 10-21-2006, 08:37 PM
 
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Old 10-21-2006, 08:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks so much! I am glad to have you mamas to talk to.

Mama to 5 babies. UCer, too!
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Old 10-21-2006, 08:54 PM
 
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Amy what is the name of the drug she was recommending? Many drugs for depression are indeed safe for nursing mothers though uninformed doctors continue to tell women they need to wean to take necessary medication. I was also going to suggest considering the lap band if you have a very major amount of weight to lose.
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