why do you/will you have a planned UC? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 31 Old 11-30-2006, 02:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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DH and I were talking last night about a mama on another thread who just had an UC at home with her husband and children present and he asked me why they chose not to have an attendant or midwife present and I didn't know the answer. So I am just curious the reasons for why people have a planned UC. I have a friend at work who had her first son "by accident/suddenly" before the midwife arrived at her home but that's my only experience. I don't know much about it so I'd be interested to hear your thoughts to those who have planned it!

thanks!
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#2 of 31 Old 11-30-2006, 02:41 PM
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for me, it simply is something that makes sense at the deepest spiritual level.

i realized that birthing is a powerful, transformative heroine's journey for women. the spiritual arc of the process is dynamic and deeply personal. while there's no wrong in having attendants of any sort, for me, attendants are not necessary and likely will not be able to help me on this journey.

and besides, i'm an indpendent spirit. it just fits.
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#3 of 31 Old 11-30-2006, 06:32 PM
 
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For us it was practical reasons. The area where we were living had no midwives doing homebirths, the only birth center was 45+ minutes away and their standards for transfer were too much for me, and the hospitals in the area had a 25-30% c-sec rate (and this was several years ago when the national c-sec rate was "only" 20-22%.

I didn't feel safe putting myself in the hands of the medical establishment. I tried finding a midwife, but none were available. So I discovered UC while looking for a midwife and we just decided to do it that way. For me it's about taking responsibility for my body and allowing the birth to happen the way it should, rather than negotiating the terms of the birth with an attendant who may or may not know what is best for me. It boggles my mind now to hear attendants urging women to push, telling them to be strong, change positions, etc. For me, nobody had to tell me what to do -- I did what my body told me to do and that was move around and birth a baby. Sure, it would be nice to have someone there who would only intercede in the process if a true emergency arose. But their presence would change the birth and most trained attendants would find ways to "help" that might not be helpful.

So I guess for us the risk of having a birth attendant mess with the natural birth process and cause harm to me or babe is greater than the risk that something could go wrong that we couldn't handle on our own.
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#4 of 31 Old 11-30-2006, 06:42 PM
 
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I have lots of ways to justify it, not least of which is my concern that my body won't function normally if I'm inhibited and self-conscious, and that this will affect both the birth and postpartum adversely. My private, undisturbed birth is the only one in which I feel I had a truly normal postpartum, and is the birth that I feel most personally edifying.

But at base it really just comes down to birth being a very intimate, private, primal event for me. I don't feel good having someone else there observing, someone who's not normally a part of my life, who I'm not intimate with, who's not bonded to me and the baby. It feels wrong.
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#5 of 31 Old 11-30-2006, 07:41 PM
 
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We did because I wanted to transfer from my brain to my body the belief in birth - what I KNOW to be true. I wanted to be able to live it out in every cell of my body... but the primary reason is because I felt like this baby told us to (our youngest).

I have to say it ties with one other experience in my life as the single most amazing moment ever. Ever. I would do it again in a heartbeat, no question.

Oh... reasoning above is because I'm a doula and MW assistant so I saw some scary things, had some shakey moments believing in bodies, babies and birth - and I wanted a core experience that would affect me lifelong... to believe in all three.

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#6 of 31 Old 11-30-2006, 07:42 PM
 
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I have not yet had an UC, and won't for a few years, but my reasons are:
  • I want to listen to my intuition and my body during labor and birth. I don't want ANYBODY telling me to push, to stop pushing, to breathe, to lay down, to sit up, etc... I want to make those decisions by listening to my body. I know that when it comes time, I will know when to push. I'll know whether I want to lay down, kneel, squat...
  • I want the fewest interventions possible. With an UC, I don't have to have ANY interventions. Even with an all-natural, home birth with a midwife, it's likely you're going to have some intervention.
  • I don't feel safe in hospitals, or around medical professionals. I never have. Hospitals are somewhere you can when you're sick. Doctors are somebody you see when you're sick. Woman in labor are not sick, and therefore, I don't feel I need a doctor or hospital.
  • I'm terrified of surgery. It goes beyond just regular fear, and its more like a phobia of having surgery. Most hospitals have a C/S rate of around 30%. Just the idea that I may need a C/S once I enter a hospital would make me nervous enough that it would probably slow down my labor. In hospitals, when labor slows down it leads to intervention which commonly leads to a c-section.


I have other reasons, but those are the main ones. I want to be in control- actually, no- I want my body to be in control. I want to be able to listen to my body, and if I had a professional around, I wouldn't be able to do that.

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#7 of 31 Old 11-30-2006, 08:13 PM
 
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we wnat a UC in march.... here are my reasons
1) women have been giving birt for thousands of years by themsleves..why can't I

2) I want to birth were i feel comfortable....If i want to crawl around on all fours and bark like a dog in labor.... i will...(and i would also know whats on MY floor)

3)i want my husband to catch his daughter....

4) I want to wait for the cord to drain

5) i want the placenta

6) i don't want dr... telling me how to breath and what postion to be in(hospital= usaully supine postions.. worst for labor)

7)i don;t want anyone telling how and when to feed my baby....

bascially i don;t want any uneed intervention.......I belive a baby was made between and husband and wife/loved ones......and it is a special bond that noone else should take part in..... same should go for having a baby.....i want it quite, dark and peacefull when i give birth... no loud and ppl running in and out....monitors going off and them trying to put drugs in my blood... Plus i would be giving birth at one of the worst Army medcial centers in the country....Seriuosly rated the worst...LOL.. no thanks

We may not have it all together, but together we have it all , Loving their daddy, my hubby, our soldier
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#8 of 31 Old 11-30-2006, 09:05 PM
 
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I could probably think of a million reasons, but what it all boils down to is: it feels the most natural to me.
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#9 of 31 Old 11-30-2006, 11:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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wow, these are really powerful reasons. thank you all for sharing them with me! gives me a whole different thought on the meaning of labor and childbirth!

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#10 of 31 Old 12-01-2006, 12:10 AM
 
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Hospital birth was out of the question. I was made to sit in the waiting room for 2 hours in labor, go down a flight of stairs, & have my IV installed by a woman who had never done it before (I didn't want one anyway) I was given an epidural and Nubain, given pitocin and an amniotomy, yelled at and insulted by the nurses & doctor who urged me to disregard my instincts and obey them, and had to deliver my baby into the hands of a doctor who looked as if he were daydreaming about golf--completely uninvolved, no joy or excitement on his face whatsoever. My husband was merely a bystander. My child was taken away, scrubbed, and had God knows what else done to him before given to me. I was read several pamplets on how to be a mother, when really I just wanted to hold my son and go to sleep. I was made to sit in the transition room for 3 hours with bright lighting, having my blood pressure taken every 15 minutes. There was constant pestering the entire 2 days we were there, and my son was periodically removed from the room for whatever reason or not. They rarely explained things to me, and definitely not the opposition to any procedures. I was just a pawn, and my husband an onlooker.

I knew I wanted a homebirth, but it'd be a hassel to get our insurance to cover one or pay for one ourselves. I began looking into UC and realized it was for me, not because of the payment reasons but because of the fact that I want supreme control over my birth. Midwives are wonderful, but sometimes do intervene without necessity and/or control the flow of the birth. Even ones who seem very hands-off may not be exactly what you want when you are birthing. I would much rather my husband act as my midwife, trust my own instincts, and rely on our skills and intuition. In short, I think we should do this ourselves, alone; we started it that way, and that is how we should finish it. I don't want anyone telling me what to do or how to do it, examining me, refusing things for fear of being sued, etc. I can do this myself, and I think it will give me an amazing sense of confidence, put me in touch with myself and with nature, and be a wake-up call for the entire family. I don't feel safe in a hospital or with a midwife, for fear of intervention or just simple discomfort being caused. It feels wrong to me as well to have a stranger there. It should be a private experience for my family.

I have a ton of reasons, but the big one is just that it feels right to me. I am not pregnant yet but...that is what I am planning!

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#11 of 31 Old 12-01-2006, 01:38 AM
 
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Originally Posted by moonfirefaery View Post
Hospital birth was out of the question. I was made to sit in the waiting room for 2 hours in labor, go down a flight of stairs, & have my IV installed by a woman who had never done it before (I didn't want one anyway) I was given an epidural and Nubain, given pitocin and an amniotomy, yelled at and insulted by the nurses & doctor who urged me to disregard my instincts and obey them, and had to deliver my baby into the hands of a doctor who looked as if he were daydreaming about golf--completely uninvolved, no joy or excitement on his face whatsoever. My husband was merely a bystander. My child was taken away, scrubbed, and had God knows what else done to him before given to me. I was read several pamplets on how to be a mother, when really I just wanted to hold my son and go to sleep. I was made to sit in the transition room for 3 hours with bright lighting, having my blood pressure taken every 15 minutes. There was constant pestering the entire 2 days we were there, and my son was periodically removed from the room for whatever reason or not. They rarely explained things to me, and definitely not the opposition to any procedures. I was just a pawn, and my husband an onlooker.
I'm so sorry you and your family were treated that way!! That is beyond inhumane, in my opinion. If more and more women have hospital experiences like that (which is more than likely the case) then birth will eventually be given the respect and dignity it deserves. It's too bad that so many people have to go through this first before they figure that out, but sometimes experience is the only way to learn something for yourself...
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#12 of 31 Old 12-01-2006, 03:32 AM
 
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I may choose to do a UC under certain circumstances.

I would prefer to have a midwide if posible, but certain circumstances won't make a homebirth with a midwife legally possible. If I have a breech baby, I won't be allowed to birth at home and my midwife cannot legally attend.

I truly believe in my birthing ability and will not compromise my wish for a homebirth over a policy that I don't agree with. I think breeches (And many other things such as prolonged labors which would also mean a hospital transfer according to policy.) are variations of normal, and if it's not going to be treated as such by my birth attendant then I don't want one present. (Not that they could legally anyways...) There are several other conditional allowances that may not make the legal presence of a midwife possible. As I am only looking to them as a "just in case" backup to begin with, their presence or lack of is not enough of a reason for me to birth in a hospital environment.

I am aware of many emergency situations and treatments and plan to monitor via doppler as needed if I do UC, but I view UC as a safe and viable option for our family if midwife attendence is not posible.

Not to mention, I have a hard time clicking with one of the midwives in the practice. I don't feel comfortable around her, and if she's the one on call when I'm birthing then I don't want that negative energy present.

Also, if the birth progresses and we feel that our decisions are not being respected and we're having options suggested/pressured on us that we don't agree with and we feel that there is a negative environment being created by an attendant- I will gladly tell that person to go home and do the rest on my own.

Heck, even if something does tell me I viably need to be in the hospital I plan on not letting anyone tell me what to do LOL. Again, if I recognise the fact that medical assistance may be needed I will opt to be where that help will be easily available but that doesn't mean I'm giving up my views on how to birth. I will just be where I can get additional help if I feel it's needed.
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#13 of 31 Old 12-01-2006, 06:23 AM
 
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I haven't found a care provider that I trust more than myself. I prefer for it to be a private family event.

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#14 of 31 Old 12-01-2006, 11:22 AM
 
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I believe that birth is best when it's left alone. I really shut down when others are around. I'm fine with my DH around, but I really don't function well when I feel like I'm being watched.

When we labor we're really susceptible to directions and suggestions. Having someone else present taking an authority role makes me tune out of my own self and tune into what they want me to do, when in fact, I believe we have an innate ability to know how to birth our babies. Having someone else around confuses our body's messages.

I choose to not have a birth attendant hanging out in the room I'm giving birth in, because I believe that my body knows the best way to birth the baby. I don't want anyone confusing the signal.

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#15 of 31 Old 12-01-2006, 12:03 PM
 
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My own personal reasons started off with having gone through an over-painful, over-managed, traumatic hospital birth wherein my son nearly didn't make it. It took me well into my second pregnancy to understand it all and continue processing it (I'd been processing it in little bits, writing out his birthstory when he was almost a year old when I'd never even read another "birth story" before, or crying during A Baby Story, wondering why those parents had great outcomes and feeling envious that I didn't).


I learned of UC almost 6 years ago now, while still pregnant with my second, and that lightbulb type moment just hit me like a ton of bricks. While you just can't decide to UC over night (I dont' know, can you? LOL) I knew what I wanted to avoid - I started planning an in hosp birth center birth and secretly leaning towards UC, trying to absorb as much info as I could.

I knew I didn't want people looking at me or telling me what to do anymore. I didn't want to depend on them to "help" me when all they could really do is pump my body full of drugs and wait. I didn't want to be exhausted and half-concious for my baby's own birth. And above all I didn't want another baby of mine to suffer.

I considered looking for a mw and that lasted all of about a week. I half heartedly looked around and just stopped, knowing deep down I just didn't want that.

Then I was bait and switched at the hospital, and, in an utterly pathetic and aggrieved state of mind given an induction and had my baby 5 hours later. The birth went "ok" for a hospital birth (and I had to argue and insist on having things my way as much as possible for it to just go "ok"), but the post partum stay combined with the way I'd been treated the weeks leading up to the birth made me hate myself, feel that I couldn't stand up to anyone, that I was incapable of protecting my children...it took a full year to get over the PPD.

So, I learned a lot of things the hard way:
1. I need privacy to birth normally
2. I don't need to be distracted with having to tell others what to do or what I want
3. My body was sending me signals the whole two times I labored and pushed, I didn't need to be strapped to bed or people counting to ten or telling me to not push, or telling me what position I had to be in when I knew better
4. The post hormonal processes that happens after birth - that was screwed up for me twice. I was frightened the first time of course, and the second time I got a birth bubble that just couldn't be maintained with all the intrusion and within three hours was just despondant. (However remarkable my ds2 was placed on my stomach and he did the instinctive crawl up my chest towards my breasts. The staff were all floored)
5. I can't trust typical health care providers to give me what I really need, because they're too busy playing CYA, or doing things "just because"

I didn't want to take the chance that a mw was going to be the "same difference" and was full on board for UC there on out. I've learned that there are indeed great mw's out there, and I'm glad they are there for their clients who wish to have them. Deep down I know it is not for me. OTOH I keep my mind open knowing that someday if I needed it that option may be out there. I think a key is to not pressure yourself into one way of trying to do things.

So as you can see, the choice to UC is indeed very personal, to the core, and be very different from one mom to the next.
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#16 of 31 Old 12-01-2006, 01:52 PM
 
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Click the link in my signature for my first son's story.
I got pregnant six weeks after that medical nightmare, and I live in the city with the highest c/s rate in Canada, due only 11 months after my c/s. That would be the prime reason I chose UC this time around! I ended up birthing a big beautiful 9lb boy in my bathtub. Just the fact that he was "big" would have done me in for a repeat surgery. I'm barely 5" with a history with pituitary dwarfism (small pelvis, the real thing!) but I know my body is capable of normal birth.

Aside from the practical reasons, UC was important to me spiritually. I do not believe that birth is inherently dangerous and I believe that armed with knowledge, support and instinct we can all have our chances to birth normally. UC was the most comfortable, uninhibiting and natural choice for me.

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#17 of 31 Old 12-02-2006, 03:51 PM
 
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Basically my first was born in hospital after being transferred from my hb cos I hadnt birthed in 'their' time limit. I uced my 2nd and 3rd dc. I relate so very much to the pp's experiences and thoughts. To me hospital birth was like a conveyer belt experience, I felt robbed of any deeper meaning and was abused by midwives and doctors alike, I got ppd intensely, my relationship with my eldest daughter has been strained all along I think due to the treatment recieved during birth and after( like her revolting father smacking me around in drunken frenzies and blaming it all on my ppd)I had read alternative birth books like a hawk as a teenager, something strong stirring within me that I knew was right, thoughts on birthing freely without the domineering and controlling natures of other people ruining the experience and of course thats exactly what they did. All the routine testing, scare-mongering, invasive sexual acts(I really believe that internal examinations are based on perverted yearnings to completely dominate women) applied to pregnant women imo to subordinate them and therefore make them far more pliable to all the bs these people want to impose on us and our babies is totally out of order and sad and very bad. So many people I know can't 'understand' why women would want autonomy during birth, obviously they haven't thought about it, some refuse to accept these feelings women exhibit and insist that being controlled through childbirth( and probably her whole life) is best for women. Others appear bemused.It's basic backward thinking and its prolific. I uc'ed 2 dc and felt very healed, damn proud of myself( and I don't have good self-esteem),and re-affirmation that I trust my body and my choices,it's just other people that don't. Also I very much value my privacy.
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#18 of 31 Old 12-02-2006, 06:53 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zoebird View Post
for me, it simply is something that makes sense at the deepest spiritual level.

i realized that birthing is a powerful, transformative heroine's journey for women. the spiritual arc of the process is dynamic and deeply personal. while there's no wrong in having attendants of any sort, for me, attendants are not necessary and likely will not be able to help me on this journey.

and besides, i'm an indpendent spirit. it just fits.
: tell it, mama...!!

Quote:
and insist that being controlled through childbirth( and probably her whole life) is best for women.
OMG....that part there almost makes me cry--it's so painfully true. in marriage, parenting, choices....you just solidified in my mind another golden reason to want a UC: FREEDOM....on so many levels.... :

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#19 of 31 Old 12-02-2006, 08:22 PM
 
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For me:

1) My DH and I truly act as a team. I've never experienced such a strong sense of accomplishment/bonding as when we accidentally (truly) UC'd our DS#2. My DH has said many times he feels sorry for other dads who don't experience birth like he did.

2) My body likes to be naked, make noise, move around, have body parts (clitoris/nipples/hips) manipulated, wiggle, writhe, get in/out of the bath, etc during labor....and I'm private. I would feel VERY inhibited...like someone watching me pee or have sex.

3)I like to listen to my OWN body during birth. I don't need someone else to tell me what it's saying....I am my own interpreter.

4)I don't want to have to direct my birth wishes to other people during the most important times of my life. I don't want to 'remind' people of my birthing plan, 'watch out' for any unwanted interventions on myself or baby, monitor activity of others in my house or make requests of anyone except DH.

5) IMO, there's nothing like birthing your own baby, your own way, in your own house with your own lover/partner. Alone. Period.

That is why we plan to UC #3 due any day.....
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#20 of 31 Old 12-03-2006, 12:13 PM
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While you just can't decide to UC over night (I dont' know, can you?)

my husband and i decided 30 minutes after reading our first UC birth story. i read it, i read it outloud to him, we went for a walk, and then we realized it was the right thing for us.

and then we figured out 'how to do it.' we haven't done it yet--we'll ttc in 2008 or so--but we're definately going to UC.
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#21 of 31 Old 12-03-2006, 03:01 PM
 
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Zoebird, do you remember what the story was?
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#22 of 31 Old 12-04-2006, 01:29 AM
 
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Well, ITA with most (all, really!) of the pp's... it's the only way to go for so many reasons: it's natural, it's instinctive, it's safer for you and your baby, and like zoe, it's all about FREEDOM. You will NOT have the freedom to follow your instincts if anyone else is around, from early labor to breastfeeding, someone will be trying to tell you how. And Now I Know for a FACT - my instincts have been right all along - the people telling me what to do?? Idiots!!

For some of us, that includes partners! I was actually picked up and placed on my back, by my husband, because the nurse told him I couldn't give birth in a squatting position... AHEM.. I WAS giving birth in a squatting position!!! But I go so deep inside myself during birth, it's very hard for me to respond to what's going on around me. I was soooooooooooooooo po'ed at dp for that one... I felt so betrayed! I'd told him before hand that I was NOT to birth on my back, and needed him to back me up on that. He just gets so worked up when I'm giving birth... very susceptible to people yelling things at him, yk?

So next time, it's all me all the time. And I'm not going to have some well-meaning idiot tell my husband what I can't do. The only way to get there is to not have any well-meaning idiots around. God willing, my husband will become one of those not-present well-meaning idiots. If that doesn't work out... we've talked a lot about how he will wake up tied to the bed to find my angry post partum self hovering over him with whatever blunt object is available!!

What I know will most likely happen for us next time (I hope!!) is that since I'll be the one there, giving birth, in control, having prepared him for everything I can think of, dh will see me as the one with the authority. Plus, he'll be taking care of the other two, so that will keep him occupied.

Additionally, my personal reasons that got me investigating homebirth to begin with, because I had two hospital births that couldn't get any better by anyone's hospital standards, and I still feel that my children and I were shortchanged! If they give you something, like not weighing your baby right away or something, they expect something in return. This is your child, not your damn business contract!!! They start acting like you owe them, when all you've done is allow them to watch you give birth!! Birthing mamas owe NO ONE but ourselves and our being-born babies, and what we owe ourselves is our faith and trust in our design and instinct!!

They meddle meddle meddle... They should be called meddle-calized births!!! No one will leave you the hell alone. They can't function in that capacity... they're all trained to DO something, and God bless them, midwives by and large are in that same basket (no offense Pamamidwife and others with clues! ) of not being able to sit back and do nothing.

So... had I only known that homebirth was an option six years ago (can't believe how much I've learned!!) and had I only known that UC was an option four and a half-ish years ago... but thank the Lord I know it now.

So I haven't UC'd yet. God willing it will be next year. Either way, I can't imagine doing it any other way ever again... and obviously, I only have the hospital experience to draw on.. never so much as homebirthed w/a midwife before, so pardon all the references to medical birth.

lizzie

It's such a relief to finally trust yourself.
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#23 of 31 Old 12-04-2006, 02:00 AM
 
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Originally Posted by zoebird View Post
While you just can't decide to UC over night (I dont' know, can you?)

my husband and i decided 30 minutes after reading our first UC birth story. i read it, i read it outloud to him, we went for a walk, and then we realized it was the right thing for us.

and then we figured out 'how to do it.' we haven't done it yet--we'll ttc in 2008 or so--but we're definately going to UC.

Wow that is awsome! I guess you answered my question!

I do remember the paradigm shift moment I had, after reading a UC story a few weeks after joining cbirth where the mom felt something was wrong at the end and pushed baby out with all her might. The placenta came out with the rest of the baby at that moment of birth - it had prematurely detatched the mom felt, the root cause possibly being an illness she'd had a few months prior (a part of the placenta looked odd or not right) - so she felt. She felt with all of her being that being left to her instincts to push baby out asap is what saved her baby. Imagine being in a hosp and not getting the oppt for that , and even if the hosp picked on something being wrong..and prepping for a c/s...even a stat one, takes precious minutes.

That just sealed the deal for me. It's too bad her birthstory was deleted with 99% of the old cbirth. :
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#24 of 31 Old 12-04-2006, 02:02 AM
 
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They should be called meddle-calized births!!!
:
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#25 of 31 Old 12-04-2006, 03:53 PM
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Zoebird, do you remember what the story was?

yes, i do remember. it was Jeanine Parvati Baker's story recounted in her book Prenatal Yoga. while not exactly the yoga book i was looking for, it had a lot of great stuff it that radically changed my perspective of birth.

as i've said before, i had that dream of giving birth outside since my menarche which was completely culturally beaten out of me. but, when i read that story, i felt like i got to reclaim my birth--long before i'd ever had one. it was a powerful moment.

it was also the first time i'd ever read of lotus birth, and i was really intregued and interested in that. it took a while longer to choose lotus birth (with all this language of placenta eating), but i think lotus birth is def the way to go.

once we came back from our walk, my DH said "well,we have a lot of assumptions and fictions to overcome, but i really think UC is the right way." and then i started reading birth stories and would occassionally read a number of them to him. i started with the Born Free! web site--which has lots of great resources.

and nwo i'm here, there and everywhere.
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#26 of 31 Old 12-05-2006, 08:42 AM
 
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We are on the fence right now about having a midwife here, waiting downstairs, just in case. After two horrifying visits with an OB/GYN here, this has been a total UP. Although we found, lost, then found again a midwife, the losing her part made me very distrusting as far as relying on her for actual intrapartum care, so we've made a decision that we will proceed as if this is a UC and if she shows up, great. If not, it's not like we're not prepared.

Our reasons:

* Birth is a normal, natural event in the vast majority of cases. If horses, cows, dogs, and cats can do it, so can I.
* My first birth was a totally overly medicalized event which I would love to go back and do over. Mulligan anyone? I will *not* be victimized like that ever again.
* There are no legal homebirth midwives in Istanbul. It is actually illegal for anyone with any kind of medical knowledge to attend a homebirth. However, you can have all the hand-wringing idiots you want.
* The standard of care here is abysmal. Push the technology, don't talk about anything that might help naturally--nutrition, herbals, etc. Ultrasound with every appointment, ridiculous amounts of blood work, push the genetic testing, etc. Someone who wants an high-tech birth would be very at-home here. I am keeping better records and taking better care of myself than any doctor here would.
* The hospitals here have an 80-90+% c-section rate. If I go to hospital, I am almost guaranteed to have a surgical birth, since I am over 35.
* I started out with an OB/GYN who "promised" that she could give me a natural birth in the hospital, then proceeded to tell me that I would be NPO on arrival, IV put in, must stay in bed, continuous monitoring, and would probably be "allowed" to breastfeed. I think she doesn't know what a natural birth is. While all natural births are vaginal, not all vaginal births are natural.
* I have caught other people's babies, why not catch my own?

Read lots of info on UP/UC, it will help you solidify *your* reasons.
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#27 of 31 Old 12-05-2006, 02:57 PM
 
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In my case, I wanted an alternative to the typical OB/hospital birth when I was pg with my first, and I found a wonderful lay MW who attended my first 2 births.

When I was pg for the 3rd time, I couldn't afford a lay MW, and Medicaid covered a hospital birth 100%. I was able to select a CNM for prenatal care, but she worked with OBs and she wasn't really free to make her own decisions, and she only attended hospital births.

During this pregnancy, I first learned about UC. I felt incredibly frustrated that I didn't have the option of a "real" MW at my home- yes, there were and are midwives in my area who attended homebirths, but as I couldn't afford to pay for one, it wasn't an option for me.

The further along in my pg I got, the more I felt like I needed to birth at home and the hospital was simply NOT a place I wanted to be. I felt like all the "prenatal care" appts were a waste of my time and precous energy, and I didn't appreciate the negative vibes I got from the whole office (even my CNM) as my due date approached and I wasn't in labor yet- I especially got thta feeling the day before DS was born when I wasn't effaced or dilated. It was 3 days BEFORE my due date and I was already getting "performance pressure" about labor.

Even as I went into labor, I considered going to the hospital just to cover my ass legally. A lot of things after the birth would have been easier if I had. Thanks to pressure from other adults in the house, we transferred to the hospital "just to get us both checked out" after the birth. DS ended up in the NICU for a week because "he was born outside the sterile hospital." There was absolutely no medical justifcation for that. Had I given birth in the hospital, he could have roomed in and we both would have gone home 2 days later, and CPS never would have been called. CPS ended up not taking any action "because he isn't going to go through childbirth again" but I was found "indicated for child abuse and neglect." This will stay on my record until my youngest child turns 18, and if I ever get CPS called on me for any reason, the workers will know about this. If I ever apply for a job working with children in NYS, my employers will find out about this as well. :

The labor and birth itself was the most incredible thing I've ever experienced. So much more peaceful and relaxed than my 2 MW attended HBs. I wasn't constantly worrying "when will the MW arrive?" I didn't have the MW subtly direct my birthing position. While in labor, there's just no way I could entertain the thought of going to the hospital for the birth. I was just in no state of mind to disrupt that peaceful birthing-place I was in (mentally, spiritually, emotionally- I'm not talking about physical space at all.)

I honestly can't imagine birthing any other way now that I've experienced a UC. Unfortunately, I can't put myself or my children at that kind of risk legally because of the CPS report from DS' birth. This is one of the reasons I may not have any more children- I can't risk another UC, and I can't see birthing any other way.

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18, and Jack, 12
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#28 of 31 Old 12-05-2006, 03:33 PM
 
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Thank you all for your stories!

We have a wonderful, hands-off midwife (licensed DEM) with whom both DH and I have come to share friendship and respect. And we feel good about engaging her support because this will be our first birth. However, we know that there are situations in which the law would require her to act in ways that we've all discussed are NOT what DH and I want for our child's birth. So here I am, reading all of your stories and we're doing what we can to be prepared in case UC becomes our best option.

Thanks again--your RL stories are great support for what I (and DH!) intuitively feel!
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#29 of 31 Old 12-12-2006, 05:56 PM
 
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We got the idea for UC when I gave birth to my dd. The midwife we had at her birth got to our house after I had been holding my dd back for about 20min. I hadn't had the 'unrestrainable urge' to push yet, but definitley was pushing tiny pushes while consciously trying to hold her back with all I had. She asked me why I didn't push her when my body was telling me to push. I said, 'because I was waiting for you to get here!'....and she said something like 'you don't need me or anyone else to have a baby'. It played over in my head again and again, and it just made so much sense to me. The more I read and learned about birth that wasn't interfered with, the more it seemed like the obvious next step for us. DH also enjoyed our private birth so much that he said if we went to a hospital, he probably would kick everyone out of the room and tell them to come back when I was done. The more we talked about 'what if' scenarios, laying blame or responsibilty, and God's design, we knew that the only answer for us was to trust God's design of the birth process and to forego going to the medical community for assistance in our pregnancy and birth unless we felt the Holy Spirit guiding us that way. I have found some midwives that I feel comfortable talking with sometimes though.
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#30 of 31 Old 12-14-2006, 10:26 AM
 
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Interventions fail women, babies, and the birth process.

We are going to TTC soon & plan a VBA4C.

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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