Violence of medicalized birth (rant/vent) - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 42 Old 12-22-2006, 10:43 PM
 
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I hate those shows as well b/c I find myself yelling at the tv and getting so po'd at the way that childbirth is in our country.

While I had 2 fairly good hospital births this birth I am choosing a homebirth and every one after if we have any others (although I am choosing to have a mw attend).

But I did want to say that I used to be so positive about how "good" hospital births are possible b/c that was my experience. Now that I teach a cb ed class and have doula'd for just 2 students' births and I am so mad at the doctors and the staff and how they treated my students. So mad that I've decided that I can't doula (I was looking into it), I am literally going to get thrown out at some point.

This last birth was so absolutely beautiful as the mother was using hypnosis and was so incredibly relaxed and the environment was so peaceful, her music playing, lights dimmed, aromatherapy and ..well everything the mom wanted. I wish so much that we had not prompted the nurse to come in as the mom had been pushing for a little while and the other doula and I knew that the baby was fairly close to coming out. That damn doctor (and I never swear ladies) came in and literally told the mom to put her legs up in the stirrups even after tboth mom and dad told her she did *not* want to use them. The doc. told her quite loudly, "Don't tell me you know how to push. I know what you need to do to push and you're going to do what I tell you." Then they started to do the count down and yelling to push. I kept reminding her that she was in control and she could push as she wanted to. The Dr. then told her that she was going to give her some lidocain to help numb the burning, the mom actually agreed and maybe 30 seconds later the Ob told her that she was going to "give her some more room" and snipped her without even a second to protest. ARGGGGGGGGGGG. Then the nurses gave her a shot of pitocin after the mom told them no. The dr. threatened her with having her dh look at how much she was bleeding that she needed it. EVerything was so hairied and loud and so unpeaceful after the dr came in I could have screamed. Oh and not to mention that the nurses wisked the baby over after maybe 10 sec.s of the baby being on mom's chest and gave him everything she didn't want (Vit K, Eye ointmnet). The only semi-redeeming part of that was that the nurse came and found me and said that she didn't know and she was so extremely sorry that she was crying over the incident later. I actually felt bad for the nurse as well.

I really think that if they have any other children they will have homebirths.
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#32 of 42 Old 12-23-2006, 01:15 AM
 
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My question is WHYYYYY if your births are so fabulous are you doing them in a hospital? Why not just kick it at home? Why subject yourself to people coming into your room to make sure you're still there every two hours?
I would love to have a homebirth; I will be having a hospital birth though. Main reasons? I live in a crappy apartment that makes me miserable just looking at it, my inlaws live with me and also in the upstairs apartment, which makes 7 IL's in one house. And they are not crunchy or informed at all*(see story below).

So, for me to get an iota of peace, I will go to the hospital one block from my house. I'd rather have nurses I could boot out of the room than be locked in my tiny, cramped, ugly bathroom for hours having every family member come knocking asking if I need an ambulance... much harder to relax and concentrate. Hopefully before I'm done having children, I'll have my own house with NO il's residing in it!

*story*: My sil informs me today that the hospital is scheduling a c-section for her. She says it's because she is having SUCH a large baby, and she had complications during the last birth. This baby is estimated to be not quite 8 lbs, and her last birth was complicated because she voluntarily asked to be induced 3 weeks early. I informed her quite politely that I birthed an almost 9 lb baby vaginally, and easily, and that she could do it too, and she just shrugged. Then her boyfriend (my DH's brother) informs me that it's because if she goes along any longer, there will be massive fetal distress.... in an otherwise healthy, no-complication, low risk pregnancy. I did my best to give them some information, to which they shrugged. Gah. I give up. And these people live upstairs from me!
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#33 of 42 Old 12-23-2006, 02:44 AM
 
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Originally Posted by kinsey43 View Post
You were VERY LUCKY. VERY LUCKY.

I think people should be VERY AFRAID of hospitals for normal, empowering birth. That's just not what a hospital is there for - they're there to find and treat problems (sometimes whether the problems actually exist or not!). The expectation is that there will be problems, that mom will "need" help.

Even the most caring nurse or doctor, with the most pure intentions, will still need to cover their own butt WRT policies, monitoring, etc. Bottom line is they're looking out for number one (which, aren't we all?). But their number one can hurt YOUR number one. When you're hassled about EFM, or "have" to have an IV, or blahblahblah.

K
(I shortened your quote, hope that is OK)
I am so sorry you went thru what you did, but know what? You are *exactly* right!! Keep preaching! There are thousands of ladies every day, going into the hospital for a normal physiological function(that has no need to be there) and coming out obstetrical cripples.....
But you educated yourself, and had a UCAC! You go girl! Keep telling ladies there is hope, and homebirth, whether with mw or UC is just about the only option most ladies who have been cut, will ever be able to know what a normal birth really is....
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#34 of 42 Old 12-23-2006, 02:08 PM
 
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One last thought (and btw I think the pp is doing the right thing en lieu of her family situation..I think you'll definitely get more rest there than at home. I would still try to stay in a comfortable place (even if that's the park or a deli-I did that in early labor with our first) in your early labor to avoid going too soon to the hospital. But actually on 2nd thought it sounds like this will be your second and second births are much faster and easier so nevermind.

Good shows! I did find one that I enjoy watching and it's on Discovery Health, they have a midwife who works in a birth center granted but they are pretty good births with no intervention so far that I've seen. I love having a show dedicated to just natural births, oh and these all so far happen to be in the water as well.
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#35 of 42 Old 12-23-2006, 10:16 PM
 
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Originally Posted by lizzie View Post
Cool, there's "masses" of us now??

Can you see the commercial? "Do you give birth without the interference of doctors or other medical personnel? Are you looking forward to the "pushing phase"? Do you think "transition" is the name of a popular song? Well then... (go all "monsters of rock" with your voice now... ) HAVE WE GOT THE MUSIC FOR YOU!! "METAL for UNMEDICALIZED" will ROCK YOUR BIRTH and bring your child into the "mosh pit" in record time! Call now, operators are standing by...

: :

Of course, we'd have to have a version for the hospital going gals... We could include Sanitarium on that one... heck, the whole Master of Puppets album is an ode to "the man" running your life, so maybe we should just give them that one? And Justice For All... I guess depends on your stance... I always thought it was perfect for those moments of rage... So I suppose it'd be good for the directed pushing they have to endure... (I can't remember anything.. can't tell if this is true or a dream.. deep down inside I feel to scream.. this terrible silence stops me!!) "Hold my breath as I wish for death...Oh please God help meeeeeeee"

Wow... we're going to have to start a completely different thread about how many Metallica songs are actually about giving birth in different situations.. I guess on another forum??


lizzie
Of course, we'd need to include Ra's "Do You Call My Name" in the hospital cd: lyrics:
Some people seem to think they always know what's best for you
Their little minds try to create a world to keep you still
The bolt is thrown, the cage is locked
You saw this, don't you lie
At first you cry and then you hate those people stole your will...

Do as you are told and maybe then we'll let you out
You might be dead and cold, you might be full of doubt
Don't try to escape cuz you don't have nowhere to go
If nothing is your fate... there's no scenario
No nothing

Do you call my name
Do you stain my brain
My eyes are blurry and I can't see you anymore
Do you call my name
Do you breed my pain
My heart is bloody and I can't take it anymore

So you just sit there, stuck, afraid to risk reality
Afraid to cause yourself more pain, to face insanity
But nothing ventured, nothing gained
You see... your fear's your cage
You beg for help but you're alone, stuck in a helpless rage
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#36 of 42 Old 12-24-2006, 09:08 PM
 
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Zoebird, a huge thumbs up to you. You said it perfectly.

It's like how if you discuss your positive breastfeeding experience on a mainstream forum twenty mothers run in to tell you how they "couldn't" BF and how "just fine" their babies are. Err, was I talking to you?

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#37 of 42 Old 12-25-2006, 04:53 AM
 
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Originally Posted by momof4peppers View Post
Whenever I watch those shows and get upset, I remind myself that IT IS A TV SHOW. THEIR GOAL IS TO CREATE DRAMA. Seriously - this becomes my mantra. My births were NEVER like what they show on TV. But man o man, there ARE some TV shows where I wish my life was like! :-)

But yes, I share your rant.

I get what you are saying about tv shows dramatizing, I do. It happens all the time. Like reality shows that aren't really reality, lol.

But sadly I doubt there was any dramatizing going on in this case. I am sure it really was that awful. And while some women do manage to have natural births in a hospital setting, it really is an uphill battle. By the time you get to the top of the hill most women have dropped to the ground and there are only 1 or 2 standing victoriously at top.

My first birth ended up in a completely unneccessary csection. I truly grieve that birth and am angry at the medical "professionals" that took away my power for their convenience and for no other reason than standard procedure. Every single thing I had in my birth plan was DIShonored. That's not true- ds was not circumsized. That is the only thing that was honored. I came in to that hospital believing I would have a natural birth, trusting the doctors would be in the background, in case I needed help. I left defeated, cut open for no good reason. Really.

So I know how bad it can and does get.

Why should women have to fight at the most intimate moment of life? It truly is a sad, sad state of affairs...

Mama to my spirited J, and L, my homebirth: baby especially DTaP, MMR (family vax injuries)
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#38 of 42 Old 12-26-2006, 02:58 AM
 
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Pamamidwife, I don't understand why homebirth stories bother you... your sig says you are a homebirth midwife?
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#39 of 42 Old 12-26-2006, 03:02 AM
 
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Not only does it bother me the way hospitals (most) tend to treat women, but it bothers me that so many women wind up feeling like they are broken... like their bodies did not work for them and like they needed to be "saved." My SIL told me today that my middle niece was induced at 10 days "overdue" (I'm 10 days "overdue" now), complete with epidural, pitocin, flat on the back, etc, etc, etc. Commence failure to progress moving on to a c-section which her doctor than told her was due to her babies huge size... a whopping 8 lbs 11 oz. : This woman wound up with three c-sections in a row and honestly believes HER BODY was the problem. Her body was never the problem. The problem was her OB! Whom she adores.

That drives me crazy. On the one hand I feel like there is no point in my saying anything to her about it now; she has had her tubes tied. On the other, I think about all the people she is going to tell what a great OB she had and refer other women to him and I just...
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#40 of 42 Old 12-26-2006, 05:02 PM
 
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thinking about my hospital births can still makes me feel sick-
for me some of it has to just be cultural/value differences when DH was in the hospital in intensive care they were horrible- same old crap as with birth- rude, power tripping,careless folks who have plenty of frightening experiences and almost no knowledge - I think that they are abused by the system but cleave to it as well-- in there they even designed rounds so that the docs would not see the patient's families and the nurses would not answer any questions..as i am writing this I realize I have alot of left over stuff from this experience
just keep me as far as possible away from that hellatious place.
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#41 of 42 Old 12-26-2006, 05:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I think that they are abused by the system but cleave to it as well--
Well stated... that must describe 97% of the population!!


lizzie

It's such a relief to finally trust yourself.
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#42 of 42 Old 12-29-2006, 07:44 PM
 
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Pamamidwife, I don't understand why homebirth stories bother you... your sig says you are a homebirth midwife?
Most homebirth stories... because so many of them reflect the mentality that women need to be told to what to do to and need to be heavily monitored to give birth successfully, which undermines the normal instinctive process. And yes, she's a homebirth midwife, but that doesn't mean she agrees with all homebirth practices.
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