What about tearing? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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Old 01-28-2007, 10:43 PM
 
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I can understand why you would feel insulted. The way you birthed was being questioned, but the women here weren't trying to tell you it was wrong, just pointing out how it could have been different. The ideals of UC are completely different from the rest of our birthing culture. From our experiences, many of us have learned that even slight interference, such as being checked for complete dilation when you feel the urge to push, can have major repercussions on the outcome of our birth. If anything, people who posted that you are much less likely to tear in an entirely unhindered birth, may well have been trying to offer hope and support, or at least a new perspective. I understand that you were asking about the practical aspects of getting a tear repaired, but a lot of us feel that mentally preparing and changing the whole mindset from, "what if?" to "what are the real causes of this and how might I make the conditions optimal so I don't have to worry so much?" are an essential part of our practical preparations.


The women on this board really are well-intentioned. But I can see how it comes off as judgemental sometimes, especially when they don't explain their frame of reference for the statements they make and questions they ask. The easy answer to your question was, find a friendly midwife or doc, or drive to the hospital afterwards. The more complex implications of what you asked though are that you may want to reflect on how or why you might have torn or grapple with any apprehension you might have about tearing and the possible consequences such as having to go to the hospital after the fact.

Of course it doesn't help that the discussion got bogged down and sidetracked with all the obstetric fistulas in 3rd world countries stuff. The tone really changes for the whole thread when something like that gets brought up.
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Old 01-28-2007, 10:56 PM
 
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I do believe bad tears are less likely if a woman births unhindered. But I'm living proof that it can still happen. I did have other things going on though that had nothing to do with it being UC or not that most likely lead to my tearing. And for the record I only "pushed" when my body was doing it on it's own , never forced, never in a hurry (I've never felt the ring of fire or felt like I needed to push to get it over with). Yet my babes have all been born w/in a few pushed at most (even when I didn't tear and hell then I was even on my back but my ds1 was in perfect postion, no nuchal hand ect.)

So my point is even when you birth unhindered you might still tear , even pretty badly (and you might want to get stitched) but I don't think it's something you should necessarily fear. And you should not feel like you failed or your birth wasn't unhindered enough if you did/do tear.

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
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Old 01-28-2007, 10:57 PM
 
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You're right, mwherbs. I did use it on a client who had a minor muscle tear and a more extensive skin tear. She literally shook when I mentioned stitches, so I got the Dermabond from a homebirth-friendly ER doc who even came to the house to show me how to apply it since I had never used it before. He told me that the Dermabond is the exact same thing as super glue, but they add purple dye to it and jack up the price. She healed up perfectly, and the muscle tear healed on its own because she was very careful about keeping her legs closed.
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Old 01-29-2007, 02:20 AM
 
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Qalliope, thank you. I was just not finding the right words, but you explained it prefectly.
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Old 01-29-2007, 12:44 PM
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'wrong' doesn't mean "bad person."
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Old 01-29-2007, 12:54 PM
 
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I am sorry if anything I wrote was offensive or that was taken as a form of "should" what I wrote about is what I have experience with, and there are more things than any one of us can know- for me it is not one-up-man'ship it is what might or has worked, things to try- if you did it all and it didn't work well either you can find another solution or not but know that you did try everything we mentioned so we all may have had the same results in your shoes.

take care
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Old 01-29-2007, 01:32 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fourlittlebirds View Post
Qalliope, thank you. I was just not finding the right words, but you explained it prefectly.
Oh good, I was worried I was speaking out of turn. It always makes me nervous to speak regarding another person's motivation.
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Old 01-29-2007, 02:56 PM
 
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I think this is a good conversation. I was surprised I still tore with my recent UC because I thought if you birth completely unhindered you most likely won't tear. If you only push when you body is doing it/ready ect then you won't tear. But I did anyway. I just want to also put my experience out there so if a woman does tear even though she's done all the "right" things she'll know one she's not alone and two it wasn't because she did things wrong.
I love all the great advice and suggestion on this topic and I think a lot if not most of the time they can lead to no tears or very small ones! But then again should we really fear tearing and is tearing not actually a natural, productive part of the birthing process (not talking about extreme tearing).
Anyway, a good discussion I think and I personally haven't been offended, it's hard to get tone across in writing.

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
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