I can understand why you would feel insulted. The way you birthed was being questioned, but the women here weren't trying to tell you it was wrong, just pointing out how it could have been different. The ideals of UC are completely different from the rest of our birthing culture. From our experiences, many of us have learned that even slight interference, such as being checked for complete dilation when you feel the urge to push, can have major repercussions on the outcome of our birth. If anything, people who posted that you are much less likely to tear in an entirely unhindered birth, may well have been trying to offer hope and support, or at least a new perspective. I understand that you were asking about the practical aspects of getting a tear repaired, but a lot of us feel that mentally preparing and changing the whole mindset from, "what if?" to "what are the real causes of this and how might I make the conditions optimal so I don't have to worry so much?" are an essential part of our practical preparations.
The women on this board really are well-intentioned. But I can see how it comes off as judgemental sometimes, especially when they don't explain their frame of reference for the statements they make and questions they ask. The easy answer to your question was, find a friendly midwife or doc, or drive to the hospital afterwards. The more complex implications of what you asked though are that you may want to reflect on how or why you might have torn or grapple with any apprehension you might have about tearing and the possible consequences such as having to go to the hospital after the fact.
Of course it doesn't help that the discussion got bogged down and sidetracked with all the obstetric fistulas in 3rd world countries stuff. The tone really changes for the whole thread when something like that gets brought up.