In labor! But this is weird..UPD Sejer is here.. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 32 Old 02-12-2007, 08:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ok - so this is my third birth and I thought I had a pretty good idea how things would turn out..
My second birth was several days of startup ctx that went away again so I could sleep. Once they finally got regular it was an extremely fast birth (90 minutes) - so I thought this time would be somewhat similar.

But as always things have a way of NOT going like you imagine.
I started contracting this morning (around 14 hours ago) Nothing regular - and not particularly painful. They picked up during the day - but still not all that regular - and not all that painful. However since after diner (around 6 hours ago) they have been pretty persistent with intervals of 6-8 minutes - and pretty painful too.
I tried checking my cervix, but cant reach anything inthere (so I would think cervix is gone?)
Anyway they are still not picking up in regularity or strength - and I have no idea what is going on.. We started filling the birthpool a few hours ago thinking we would need it soon. Now I am guessing the water will turn cold before we get that far..

More laborvibes welcome as this seems to be dragging out a bit longer than I had imagined..

Single mom to ds(8), dd(6) and ds(5)
 

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#2 of 32 Old 02-12-2007, 08:48 PM
 
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All my labors have been really different. The first was 56 hours, and I didn't begin to dilate until 50 hours into it! The second was a swift (for me!) 13 hours. For the third I was expecting an even shorter labor, but it was a plodding 32 hours with only the last two hours being intense, and a nice fetal ejection reflex at the end. The fourth was prefaced by two nights of constant contractions that stopped with the day, and the third night another relatively short 14 hours of consistent labor, except for an hour-long break an hour before the baby was born.

You know what they say -- the third birth is the wild card!

My advice is to stop paying attention to contraction length and whether it's picking up or not, and just let yourself be for a while. Get some rest if you can, or if you have a bunch of energy do something distracting. Spend some intimate time with your husband, maybe you just need a little boost of oxytocin.

How are you feeling otherwise, mentally, emotionally? Intuitively?
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#3 of 32 Old 02-12-2007, 09:00 PM
 
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Sending lots of ~GENTLE LABOR VIBES~ for you!

When I had DS, I had very irregular contractions. They'd get 2-3 minutes apart... then peter out to 10 minutes. The average was about 5-7 minutes though, until the very end. I was definitely progressing though, and dialating. Finally, after 11 hours of wishy-washy contractions, they started picking up.

Hang in there! ((HUGS))
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#4 of 32 Old 02-12-2007, 09:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks! It helps to hear that I am not just going nuts or overreacting or - whatever. Those are definately ctx.
I tried to sleep, but they are more painful when I lie down so I figure it is nicer to stay up. DP is sleeping now and I am just checking boards, mails, uploading piccies to the computer etc.
How do I feel? I would lie if I said I wasnt feeling just a tiny bit frustrated with the lack of progress.. Other than that if feels like a normal labor. Pain is evenly distributed between front and back. It reminds me more of my first labor than my second - I am not sure the ctx are all that effective in terms of getting me dilated. But baby seems to be doing just fine inthere. I get an occasional reassuring kick so..
Anyway - I think I need to put the computer down and maybe go take a shower or whatever.. I guess sitting here watching the screen is not the most productive thing I can do

Single mom to ds(8), dd(6) and ds(5)
 

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#5 of 32 Old 02-12-2007, 09:41 PM
 
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Beautiful labor vibes to you!! I bet a nice long hot shower would feel pretty good to you!!

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
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#6 of 32 Old 02-13-2007, 12:28 AM
 
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Smooth labor vibes to you. How exciting.
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#7 of 32 Old 02-13-2007, 12:33 AM
 
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Wonderful labor vibes.

Each birth can be so different!
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#8 of 32 Old 02-13-2007, 07:48 AM
 
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Sending good labor vibes your way!!

Sooooo exciting!!
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#9 of 32 Old 02-13-2007, 07:54 AM
 
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Who says you have to be productive!? My feeling of peace and freedom during this pg came when I finally allowed myself to do what I wanted to do/felt like doing, when I wanted to. It was actually really empowering. So if sitting staring at the screen feels good, why not do it? Just listen to your intuition. That's been the best thing I've ever learned to do! And it wasn't something $50,000 worth of college could teach me, though they thought they knew everything LOL!

Stay strong, centered, and confident! Sending lots of energy your way! :-)
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#10 of 32 Old 02-13-2007, 10:20 AM
 
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Lots of your way and it sounds like those contractions that get the cervix moved forward before dilation takes off. (at least that is how it happened for me, just took 2 weeks of those types of contractions, 16 hours a day.. this was with my DS)

Enjoy puttering around and doing what your body says to do!

Mum to DS (8yrs), DD (6yrs), and DS(3.5yrs). kid.gif

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#11 of 32 Old 02-13-2007, 01:47 PM
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did you know that the word "weird" comes from the welsh term 'wyrd' which means 'by divine providence?'

so, yes, it does sound 'weird' i wish you the best momma in this divine journey.
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#12 of 32 Old 02-15-2007, 12:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi ladies

Unfortunately my weird feeling about this labor was right.
I will post a birthstory later - this is just the short update.

I started contracting more heavily a few hours after last post here. I was complete another 2 hours later but with a lip of cervix. No pushing urge at all. We tried every position in the book - I tried pushing with all my might - but that didnt feel like it did any good so tried panting. I was in the tub - out of the tub - on the bed in different positions etc. But NOTHING happened. I started having more backlabor and figured something was keeping baby from descending. The lip of cervix could not be moved but it was soft and I assumed it would go away if water broke. But it just didnt. Nothing happened. After around 4 hours of this we called the MW as I thought something was not right - and would like some assistence. I had hoped she had some insight that would get baby to move but she arrived an hour later and agreed with my estimates completely.
The heartrate was a bit fast - and had been for several hours. I was not sure he was doing so well inthere.
MW estimated he was way too high in my pelvis - same as I had expected - so we agreed to transfer. I didnt think laboring on at home would help move baby. Once we arrived in hospital we tried a rebozo to get baby to move but no luck. I labored on naturally for another couple of hours in hospital, but baby still refused to move down.
MW was wonderful though. I was not happy about calling her but she turned out a GREAT support - and she was very respectful about our UC attempt and all the decisions we had made so far in the laborprocess.

We decided to break waters. I was not happy about this as I suspected where we were going, but our options seemed very limited at this point and I agreed. It turned out just as awful as expected. Meconium in the water - lots of it - and they did all kinds of tests - with me in heavy transition - on my back yelling and screaming
An OB estimated position as well - he was high up in my pelvis resting on my pubic bone refusing to move. I tried pushing as I was laying there but he still didnt move. They suggested c-section and I agreed.
At this point I didnt believe he would move - we had tried everything I could think of, he was stressed and I didnt feel any need to continue labor in this way only to stress him more. So out he came - by c-section :cry

He is a big boy - 57 cms and 4500 grams - but his position was what kept him from moving down.

I feel a great sence of loss for the birth we didnt get. I havent had much time to think things through yet, but I have a feeling the loss will hit me like a tank-engine sometime in the coming week.
I cant really regret anything though. I honestly feel like I made some pretty thought through decisions along the way. I dont feel manipulated or taken advantage of - I feel like I did as best I could throughout the whole process - and my MW was compassionate, understanding and respectful all the way through - I am very happy she was with me through the hard part in hospital. My DP was wonderful as well. He had wanted an MW present for birth all along but once I was in labor he never once suggested we call her. He supported my choices all the way through and backed me up even when it seemed like it would be a UC all the way through (despite his wish for an MW nearby).

Thanks for reading - I guess it was kind of a birthstory anyway.. Felt like posting it here where people will understand how sad I am to have lost my UC - and especially my vaginal birth. Even a hospital vaginal birth would have been much better - but it just didnt turn out that way :cry

Thanks again for reading..

Single mom to ds(8), dd(6) and ds(5)
 

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#13 of 32 Old 02-15-2007, 12:46 PM
 
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Congrats on your little (big) boy. Time will help you process everything that happened.

Amy ~ Web Designing Single Mom to 4: DD14, DS12, DS5, DS3
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#14 of 32 Old 02-15-2007, 12:55 PM
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i'm sorry that you didn't get the birth that you had hoped for, but i'm glad that you felt that you did the right thing and that you and your baby are safe and healthy.
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#15 of 32 Old 02-15-2007, 12:58 PM
 
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Congratulation on your birth and happy babymoon! I'm sorry for the loss of the birth you wanted :
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#16 of 32 Old 02-15-2007, 01:56 PM
 
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I'm so sorry the birth didn't go as you'd hoped. I'm always reassured to hear though that the mamma instinct does kick in when help is needed. so glad everyone is safe - and I wish you much peace in the healing process. HUGS:
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#17 of 32 Old 02-15-2007, 03:21 PM
 
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First Congrats!!! and welcome baby!!!!!!!

I'm sorry things didn't turn out how you had wanted them to , many healing vibes to you! I do think you did great at listening to your instincts though.

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
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#18 of 32 Old 02-15-2007, 04:13 PM
 
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Wow! Welcome Baby! You know, it is okay to love up your baby and also mourn the birth experience. I'm sorry for your loss. I'm also so proud of you for listening to your intuition and asking for help when you needed it....that takes lots of guts! Now....keep smelling that newborn! And give yourself major pampering.
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#19 of 32 Old 02-15-2007, 04:36 PM
 
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Congratulations on your baby boy!

Listening to your instincts is what it's all about. I'm sorry you didn't get the birth you wanted. But I'm glad you were able to listen to your body and baby.
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#20 of 32 Old 02-15-2007, 05:14 PM
 
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I'm so sorry you didn't get the birth you'd hoped for and imagined. But you did all the right things. Congratulations on the birth of your new baby.

Julia
dd 11 mos
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#21 of 32 Old 02-15-2007, 05:24 PM
 
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Welcome, baby Sejer!
Mama, I hope you are healing well.
Congratulations!
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#22 of 32 Old 02-16-2007, 02:27 AM
 
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Congratulations on your new baby! Hang in there....even though things didn't go the way you envisioned them, it sounds like you made the decisions that were right for you and your family.

Wishing you the very best!!
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#23 of 32 Old 02-16-2007, 02:32 AM
 
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Welcome Baby!
It sounds like you made the right decisions. I am sorry it had to end up this way. I hope with time you process it and feel confident you did all the right things.
Peace.
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#24 of 32 Old 02-16-2007, 02:40 AM
 
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Congratulations! I hope you have a speedy recovery, and I'm so blown away by your amazing mama instincts.

Wife to a wonderful dh and mom to four beautiful kiddos, dd (3/04):, ds1 (1/06), ds2 (10/08), and ds3 (7/10)
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#25 of 32 Old 02-16-2007, 10:27 AM
 
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As others have said, you did the right thing, especially since you know you did the best you could! That means a lot. Enjoy your baby, and let yourself go through the healing/grieving process about your birth experience when you're ready. Keep loving this new life you brought into the world, and know you did what was best for both of you!

Peace and strength to you, baby Sejer, and DH!
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#26 of 32 Old 02-16-2007, 11:31 AM
 
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I'm so sorry you didn't get the birth you had wanted. My last birth (my 3rd, as well) was a planned homebirth turned transport and cesarean, so my heart goes out to you! It can be scary, and disappointing, and frustrating, while at the same time so joyful to have that little one in your arms!

Congratulations on the birth of that beautiful baby, though! Please allow yourself to enjoy him, and to take heart in knowing that you did everything you could.

Wife of one and mom of five, including my HBAC twins!
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#27 of 32 Old 02-16-2007, 11:50 AM
 
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I'm so sorry things didn't work out like you had hoped. Take the time and space to greive that.

Congratulations on the new boy!
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#28 of 32 Old 02-16-2007, 03:40 PM
 
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Welcome, Little One!

Beautiful job birthing your baby. i'm so sorry it wasn't as planned.


Spark and her four firecrackers.
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#29 of 32 Old 02-17-2007, 01:40 AM
 
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Congratulations on your lovely baby!

That is the beauty of UC. If you know there is something wrong, you can seek help. I am glad it all worked out, and you have a healthy baby.

Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
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#30 of 32 Old 02-19-2007, 09:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks everyone for your thoughtful comments I have been getting a whole lot of "But the most important thing is a healthy baby"-comments in the past week.. Ofcourse a healthy baby is important but I am so fed up with people acting like it doesnt matter where or how our children are born. Someone even told me "luckily you will soon forget everything" It is so sad that this is how many women think about birth - something they will rather forget.
My c-section may not have been my ideal birth but I sure dont want to forget a single second of my babys birth if I can help it..

Planning a UC has been a great journey for me. It has been extremely empowering and even now that things turned out so different from our hopes and expectations then the thorough planning was what enabled me to stay on top through and after birth. It is what enables me to get through this still feeling empowered. It is the reason that I can now look in the mirror and smile back at myself knowing I made the right choices all the way through.

So thanks everyone for allowing me to come here and ask silly questions in the past months. I will probably not be around as much from now on considering we wont be TTC for at least the next year or so. But rest assured that in a few years from now I will be planning an UC HBAC - and then I will be back

I have posted the detailed birthstory here if anyone is interested.

Single mom to ds(8), dd(6) and ds(5)
 

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