Unfortunately my weird feeling about this labor was right.
I will post a birthstory later - this is just the short update.
I started contracting more heavily a few hours after last post here. I was complete another 2 hours later but with a lip of cervix. No pushing urge at all. We tried every position in the book - I tried pushing with all my might - but that didnt feel like it did any good so tried panting. I was in the tub - out of the tub - on the bed in different positions etc. But NOTHING happened. I started having more backlabor and figured something was keeping baby from descending. The lip of cervix could not be moved but it was soft and I assumed it would go away if water broke. But it just didnt. Nothing happened. After around 4 hours of this we called the MW as I thought something was not right - and would like some assistence. I had hoped she had some insight that would get baby to move but she arrived an hour later and agreed with my estimates completely.
The heartrate was a bit fast - and had been for several hours. I was not sure he was doing so well inthere.
MW estimated he was way too high in my pelvis - same as I had expected - so we agreed to transfer. I didnt think laboring on at home would help move baby. Once we arrived in hospital we tried a rebozo to get baby to move but no luck. I labored on naturally for another couple of hours in hospital, but baby still refused to move down.
MW was wonderful though. I was not happy about calling her but she turned out a GREAT support - and she was very respectful about our UC attempt and all the decisions we had made so far in the laborprocess.
We decided to break waters. I was not happy about this as I suspected where we were going, but our options seemed very limited at this point and I agreed. It turned out just as awful as expected. Meconium in the water - lots of it - and they did all kinds of tests - with me in heavy transition - on my back yelling and screaming
An OB estimated position as well - he was high up in my pelvis resting on my pubic bone refusing to move. I tried pushing as I was laying there but he still didnt move. They suggested c-section and I agreed.
At this point I didnt believe he would move - we had tried everything I could think of, he was stressed and I didnt feel any need to continue labor in this way only to stress him more. So out he came - by c-section :cry
He is a big boy - 57 cms and 4500 grams - but his position was what kept him from moving down.
I feel a great sence of loss for the birth we didnt get. I havent had much time to think things through yet, but I have a feeling the loss will hit me like a tank-engine sometime in the coming week.
I cant really regret anything though. I honestly feel like I made some pretty thought through decisions along the way. I dont feel manipulated or taken advantage of - I feel like I did as best I could throughout the whole process - and my MW was compassionate, understanding and respectful all the way through - I am very happy she was with me through the hard part in hospital. My DP was wonderful as well. He had wanted an MW present for birth all along but once I was in labor he never once suggested we call her. He supported my choices all the way through and backed me up even when it seemed like it would be a UC all the way through (despite his wish for an MW nearby).
Thanks for reading - I guess it was kind of a birthstory anyway.. Felt like posting it here where people will understand how sad I am to have lost my UC - and especially my vaginal birth. Even a hospital vaginal birth would have been much better - but it just didnt turn out that way :cry
Thanks again for reading..