Talking about the Pain - Page 3 - Mothering Forums
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#61 of 68 Old 08-07-2007, 05:43 PM
 
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"so, for me, pain could be part of the process of initiating the ecstatic, divine experience of birth.

and i look forward to it.

and through it, i am 'born again' as a new life form, a new being and person. i have endured, surpassed, moved through, and been changed."

Zoebird~ This is very much how I approached my first labor and birth, well all of them actually. I very much looked forward to the initiation, and the challenge and the pain as a transformative experience as well as an initiation into a new chapter of my life. And I wasn't disappointed

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#62 of 68 Old 08-07-2007, 08:20 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mama in the forest View Post
Yup, there's more.

Another thing I wonder about is this: do midwives and docs actually facilitate painful labors and/or suffering by their presence and by their "pain relieving techniques" (asked rhetorically)

Current care in a typical hospital includes an emphasis on pushing epidurals & other meds to relieve pain. Midwifery care emphasizes natural pain relief methods. Both *can* suggest that the goal is pain relief. Does that set up some mamas for the expectation that the pain should be relieved, and that if it is not, something is wrong?
I've been reading this thread on and off for the last few days, and this post really struck with me.

I (not a mama yet) don't expect painless or a painfree birth. I expect there to be pain - but I also expect that all of the techniques I've read/researched/heard about will make the (potential) pain managable - not gone. Not a walk through the park. Still possibly the most (potentially) painful thing I've ever felt (and I haven't felt much physical pain in my life) - but I do believe that it can be managed.

And yeah, honestly, one of my 'management' thoughts is along the idea of this....

Quote:
Originally Posted by zoebird
so, for me, pain could be part of the process of initiating the ecstatic, divine experience of birth.

and i look forward to it.

and through it, i am 'born again' as a new life form, a new being and person. i have endured, surpassed, moved through, and been changed.

and if i do die, then i die ecstaticly--and i believe that has great spiritual import as well.

i welcome it. i welcome it. i welcome it.
It is that feeling that makes me say that I look forward to labor and birth - because I know that it will be one of the most spiritually transformative processes I can experience, and despite the (potential) pain, and in spite of the (potential) ecstacy, I look forward to being transformed.

I think that more so than teaching first time moms about pain - first time moms should have the opportunity to sit in a circle like this and hear about birth.

That will teach all that we CAN be 'taught'.

The mystery of life isn't a problem to solve, but a reality to experience.
| @jovialady is Kiya ~ TTC 3 years & counting for a ~ Connsumte BookDragon|
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#63 of 68 Old 08-07-2007, 09:44 PM
 
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I try to be specific about what kind of pain and where, so that it is not a big scary unknown. I believe the unkown is what is scariest.

My natural labor was painful, but it actually wasn't the most painful thing I've experienced. And it was cathartic. so very cathartic! and empowering as well.
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#64 of 68 Old 08-08-2007, 12:20 PM
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i think that i don't expect it to be painfull or painless. it will be whatever it is, and whatever it is, i can handle.

rajah: now, i feel less crazy. thanks!
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#65 of 68 Old 08-11-2007, 12:18 AM
 
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I think that in order to do the mama a service, instead of worrying her, you really have to know her. That is, if I'd heard anymore about pain, I would have had tons more than I did. As it was, no one really said much about it, and I just worked through the few fears I had by myself. My way of dealing with them was to UC, which I'll do again in a heartbeat! Some mamas are freaked out by even the thought of pain, so telling them wouldn't be a good idea. B/c when they have to deal with it, they can, and do well. I only say this b/c I'm one of those. I have an extremely high pain tolerence, but I literally pass out when people talk about something that really hurts. So you have to know the mama IMHO. Otherwise, talking about pain can bring it on, just like talking about relaxing can sometimes make you tense! I think the best thing we can tell a mama, short of really getting into her head and truly knowing her--if that's even possible!--is to let her know she has to go with the labor and be as unhindered as she can. And encourage her to be in tune with her body and baby and intuition, rather than just accepting what her care provider says as the law. Too many times, they undermine people--not just pregnant women, but it seems they do this more so with them--and people don't trust themselves. That's why they run to drs. and others when they think something's wrong, instead of taking charge of their health.
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#66 of 68 Old 08-11-2007, 12:21 AM
 
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Originally Posted by zoebird View Post
i think that i don't expect it to be painfull or painless. it will be whatever it is, and whatever it is, i can handle.
:!
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#67 of 68 Old 08-11-2007, 12:30 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chantelhayes View Post
I haven't read all of the replies, but this spoke to my heart. This is what Ella's birth taught me. I thought I knew what labor was and could be. I did not. Having an open mind and listening within myself and doing what my body told me to do when it told me to do it was what helped me through 33 exhausting hours (just to give you perspective, the labor before that was 3.5 hours start to finish with very little pain). Not to sound to hokey, but birth is what it is. We cannot predict it.
:
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#68 of 68 Old 08-11-2007, 12:38 AM
 
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I am really not sure what to expect at all.
With my first birth I was induced (already to three on my own) and was was having contractions with pit, but they felt extremely mild. I got to 5.
But it really felt like whatever was happeneing wasnt strong at all.
So I have no idea what to expect. you'd think pitocin contractions would be really bad, but they wernt, and they were enough to dialate me... so they were effective. who knows.
Im just going to try to take it one at a time and not think too much

I am thankful for this thread though. I love reading all the different experiences.
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