So come on in mamas, whether you're thinking about UC, planning, researching, TTC, are pregnant, postpartum, etc, this thread is for SUPPORT. This thread is meant for mamas to come and share their thoughts, concerns, etc...chit chat is much welcomed!
I'll start by saying that I should be asleep right now so someone tell me to get off the internet! :
Creating Art. Living life on Guam. Sharing my Journey.
I'm a touch nervous because of edd uncertainty and the fact that DP keeps putting off reading material (emergency childbirth etc) but know that things will work out when the time comes.
The biggest thing is letting go of the uncertainty of my edd. I really wished I never had one (or two this pregnancy)... so my biggest issue right now is knowing that I have before birthed a beautiful full term baby and will again regardless of any "dates" technology has placed on my pregnancy.
thanks for this thread, shell!
mom of three with on the way
I'm not currently pg, but my 2nd UC babe is now 6 weeks old and I've been thinking a lot about how individual each pregnancy/labor/birth/child really is, even if there were a lot of similarities to previous/subsequent ones. It makes it easier because it means you won't necessarilly have the same difficulties, but it makes it harder because of the unpredictability.
Oh and after actually birthing IN the water this time (I labored in water for 2 hours with Ds1), I choose water over land ANY day.
Creating Art. Living life on Guam. Sharing my Journey.
My name is Jordan, and I'm new to MDC. I came here primarily to learn about UC.....We're TTC child #3, and I'm drawn to UC and learning all I can.
Looking forward to getting to know everyone!
i have decided to UC.
but i am not pregnant, and i haven't been pregnant since my miscarriage in '02. that was an unplanned pregnancy, unassisted miscarriage. hard to believe it was that long ago.
shortly after that (i have no concept of time), i learned about and decided that UC was for me.
I've been planning my UC ever since. Now, if only we can figure out when we want to get pregnant. . . . luckily, there's a NMY tribe for us to chat about that.
I don't have a partner, but my dd is very supportive albeit not super reliable, so i need to be prepared for the possibility of a completely solo birth. My ds cannot know that I am UCing, as he has made numerous threats in the past about calling an ambulance or otherwise sabatoguing me if I were to UC, but it was surprisingly easy to get him to believe that I am using an illegal midwife.
Zoebird, I've read your posts here for a long time : I feel like I sort of "know" you lol.
Heather, how frustrating that must be having to worry about CPS! I remember your post about possibly having to go it totally solo. I get the feeling that you've done a lot of thinking about it all and I just know things will go smoothly for you in the end.
And welcome Bekkers!! Lol, yes I got through your very lengthy post yesterday as well...I was half asleep though so I couldn't rub two brain cells together to form any type of reply I think you really just needed to write that all out and sort out the thoughts in your mind to get a more "concrete" feeling for what you want to do. And yes, you are in good company here!
Mandie, that is a tricky situation! I'm not exactly sure what I'd do...but where in the house will you be birthing? Do the "people" that live there know what kind of privacy you'd want, etc? Do you think you'll be a noisy laborer? Lol, I'm thinking if you are given enough privacy, they'd have no way of knowing how close to birthing you are...and you could voice to them ahead of them that you want to labor alone as long as possible...um oh but then they'd probably expect you to have a midwife come over immediately after huh? hmm...short of gradually letting them in on your real intention, I'm not sure what i'd do.
Creating Art. Living life on Guam. Sharing my Journey.
dh agreed to up/uc then did a 180, wouldn't tell me why (he was a brick wall), i have accepted that and respect his feelings and have been working on a compromise, we met with some mw's who *he* loved and is willing to fork over basically an entire months worth of our wages:
i have been asking around for a uc mw/doula, someone who would be willing to be there prenatally as support to reassure dh that everything is fine, and to available during the birth/postpartum if i/we need any care (tear repairs etc.,).
a lovely woman on mdc responded and a pro-uc mw is coming to our house tomorrow to basically meet us and reassure dh, for what it's worth! hooray!
dd was a mw hb, which i had issues with, not *my* mw, but the mw (who had her own substantial practice) who filled in as an assistant since my mw regular assistant was on vacation. after mulling things over for awhile, when dd was 6 mo, i decided up/uc was what i wanted for my next pg. i ordered all the uc books i could get my hands on, lurked on this uc board and when dd was 16 mo, i got pg:
and now here i am! lovely to meet you all, and see how things progress with each one of you. i will post an update tomorrow.
I'm Kat. Currently 14 weeks with #4. This will be my 4th UP/UC. I've been away from the computer for awhile until recently, so I'm happy to be back. In the middle of packing for a cross-country move we've been planning since we were married 11 years ago. So this is a super exciting time for me!
Not much to tell about the pregnancy, pretty uneventful. Not showing yet, just chubby. This pregnancy and my last I gained 10lbs immediately upon taking the pregnancy test. Who knows what that's about?!
I have 2 boys and 1 girl, dh and I don't really have a preference either way. They are all such a joy.
I'm still having a bit of a difficult time finding things that are appetizing. I don't really want to eat anything and then I end up starving and naseated. Not a healthy pattern to fall into, and with being so busy with packing, it just makes it trickier to find time to eat..... That's my biggest complaint, FOOD.
I feel healthy otherwise. No body aches.....yet
Take care mamas!
DS was a hb transfer. I felt railroaded into transferring my the MW. Looking back, I just needed sleep, time and everyone to get outta my way. This time, I've hired a MW for some basic prenatal care, really more to help me learn things on my own like palpating position, discussing herbs etc, and to be on call in case I need labor support. As I said in a different post, if I do have a question or concern, I don't want my first move to be to the ER. I have a wonderfully supportive DH who will read everything I put in front of him.
I'm still dealing with unresolved issues from my last birth trauma. I've been seeing a therapist for a year and I know I need to resolve me feelings about the last birth as best I can because I don't want to count on this birth to be my healing experience. That's not fair to this baby and too much pressure on me to make this birth perfect.
I mostly lurk, tho lately I've started to post again. Looking forward to getting to know other UCers out here!
Long story short, in January when DH and I came back from our holiday Vaca to visit family in Washington we found out we had brought back extra luggage...: baby in my belly.
Soon after returning to work, two of my coworkers found out they were pregnant as well. Now we are all exactly 3 months apart.
But unfortunately for one of them, her pregnancy came with bittersweet news. She has the first stages of cervical cancer.
Not only that but the guy that got her pregnant is a real ! He purposely got her knocked up to try and control her. Plus he stalks her leaves crazy messages on her cell phone, and is just plain crazy!!! I could go on and on about this jerk but I'd probably send myself into labor.
Before she found out she was pregnant she was in the middle of putting a restraining order on the guy but when she found out she was having his kid she withdrew the restraining order. I was like "WHY, he was controlling before you pregnant what makes you think he'll stop after you have his baby, he'll get worse" which he did. At first he was supportive and sweet when she told him (cuz he knows his plan worked out) but now he's gone psycho.
The other coworker that's pregnant feels the same way about the guy. We're like... "This baby is here for a reason, it's saving your life!" She would've never found out she had cancer if it wasn't for getting pregnant. But now she has to think about her health and her baby's safety. I can only stand by and send lots of love and support.
Stories like these remind me of the strength of women, Emotionally, Mentally, Physically, and Spiritually!!!
We are amazing creatures, definitely touched with the divine and I just want to say, " I LOVE YOU " regardless of weather I know you personally.
There is no such thing as bad weather. Only bad clothing.
I'm 33ish wks pregnant and planning an October baby (so all the girls in my house will be October women...eek! me, DD, and now DD2)
I dont really have any fears, other than just hoping things go well and we stay out of the hospital. I worry about how the baby will do with our 2 yr old, how i will manage to sleep with a newborn and a toddler who still doesnt sleep through the night, how I will be able to spend enough time with DD with a newborn to care for, and if I will have enough diapers.
The one thing I dont really worry about is the birth. We just filled our birth pool (fishy pool) w/ air this afternoon to make sure it still works well, and so far it does which is great. We have less than 4 weeks before we are comfortable with a UC so its starting to become a time crunch to get our supplies in order. We are also going to map and test drive the route to the hospital to make sure we know how to get there and how long it will take (we're in the boonies and its debatable which hospital is closest) I'm going to start packing my "birth bag" probably this week, maybe next. Its not for the hospital, its just a quick bag for me to have DH grab w/ something to tie the cord off with, sterile scissors, baby outfit, etc.
Ok done yapping for a bit. off to get something to drink. Welcome new members to the MDC UC'ers forum!!
DH is convinced I'm carrying his son. My intuition screams its a girl, although in some ways it would be nice for a boy since we have so many in the family -- tons of hand-me-downs. As long as it's a boy or a girl I'll be thrilled We've nicknamed the baby Grendel while it's inside. The reason why is too long of a story for right now, and probably only funny to us I guess.
Anyway, that is it for me. m/s is kicking my butt. I will check back in soon!
XM,: mama to ds (5/08), dd (9/10) and ds (6/12) ! :C.H.S & M.
i birthed dd via UC 5 months ago. this is my fave MDC forum and i check it at least once a day. I am always anxious to hear updates, birth announcements, and be of help to anyone.
i am a big supporter and advocator for Lotus Births.
Scarlett...definately upday us. sounds like your new MW is ideal
OtherMother'n'Madre- still really happy you got your :
shell024-thanks for starting this thread
xekomaya Congratulations on Grendel :
Jenlaana- October is my birth months too!!! I love the Fall season :
Freelove- you sound like such an important support for your friend right now!
Diva Mom- nice to meet you.
rajakat-hope you get your appetite back soon. i truely beleive the worst part of my pregnancy (really the only bad part) was the "morning" sickness that lasted for like 3 months. I'd rather go through labor and delivery than that horrid morning sickness. hope it gets better for you soon!
joliara-my advice is to get the whole birth situation worked out in advance. i am worried that the oops i forgot strategy may not fly because it may be hard for u to hide that u r in labor and they may freak! try to work out a plan. someone on here was talking about labor and delivery in a motel. that may be a possibility. if i was laboring in a motel, someone would probably call the cops cause i was very vocal. actually, dh was afraid that the neighbors may think that i was being beat or murdered. i was pretty loud. anyhow, back to you, be creative and think of someplace where you could go to get more privacy if that is what you want or if your MIL is pretty cool then maybe she could get used to the idea of
noordinaryspider- do u like spiders? i LOVE writing spiders. i am cracking up about your son going for the illegal MW, but not laughing about him calling an ambulance! that would be crazy to deal with. sounds like your dd will be great. dh was home when i uc'd, but he really didn't do anything-that is how i wanted it. i think solo UC is no big deal. i do think that it is important for at least one trusted person to know u r in labor just in case, but it is so easy to solo UC!
Zoebird can't wait to hear about that
echospiritwarrior-i thought DH was NEVER going to read Emergency Childbirth!!! I think i was about 39 weeks preggo when he finally read it-then he was the expert, of course don't worry about you due date. as long as u feel normal movement and feel that everything is ok, then it is. trust your instinct. just out of curiosity, appx. how far along are you? what is your best guess?
hope i didn't leave anyone out...if so,
I had an unassisted miscarriage back in February which restored some of the confidence in my body that DD's birth took. Technically, it was a perfect birth- fast, painless, etc- but my head was somewhere else and I wasn't connecting with my body at all. I know I can do it myself this time, if I need to. I don't yet know if I'm at that point where I feel that emotional need- but then, my midwifery care is being transferred to a new m/w next month, and I don't know if I'll gel with her. I know that because things went so fast last time- literally, three contractions from the point labour started up again once the midwife got there- I need to be reading on UC anyhow, just in case.
Sorry for the convuluted essay : I hope some of that made sense?
rajakat, I can't believe how time flies! I remember when your dd was born : And yuck, I often fell into that no appetite, hunger, nausea pattern...no fun at all.
diva mom, welcome! I hear you on wanting/needing to work out issues from your last birth before this one comes, I faced a similar challenge...
Amanda, thats horrible news about the jerk dude We need to form a local support group for mothers and pregnant women asap! I've been wanting to do this for so long, and I think we could pull it off no problem. I"m going to email you about that...And yes, women are warriors, and you are getting so close!!! eek, I'm getting excited!
OtherMother'n'Madre, congratulations again on your beautiful babe!!! : Hope your babymoon is peaceful.
Jenlaana, we have a lot in common! With this 2nd babe, I was more worried about dealing with a toddler and a newborn than anything concering the birth. And yup, the birth was simple and smooth, and I'd do it again if it meant not struggling with our toddler and newborn issues. Man it is tough! But if you have a lot support, a dvd player : and a sling, then life will be a TAD easier. Lowering all expectations helps too.
xekomaya, Welcome! I did the 5-15 minute UC dosage with Dp as well when I was pregnant with Ds1. He was on board in no time.
reducereuserecycle, hi! I've seen you here quite often We had a partial lotus birth with Ds2, but cut the cord at the end of day two because i had not prepared anything to comfortably carry the placenta around w/baby, and we were having a hard time with Ds1, etc...anyway the cord was pretty much almost dried out when we cut it. Ds2 didn't seem to mind...
Creating Art. Living life on Guam. Sharing my Journey.
Amyjeans here, happy to add where I can and learn, always! So, we're preg with #4 and this will be our 3rd UC.
I think after this I am done. I forgot how lousy I feel during the first 3 months! Man, I am 8 weeks already!
My 3yr old is convinced this is a boy *****F I N A L L Y !!!!!** but we'll see.
nice to see y'all!
I'm Kari and I mostly lurk here. I've been thinking about UC since my DD's birth. I realized during her HBAC that I prefer to be alone when laboring. I even wanted my DH in a different room!
I had some fears and insecurities related to my DS's c-section birth that prompted me to want a midwife, but now I'm wondering if I might do better solo.
This pregnancy I'm still planning to use my midwife for prenatal, but am wondering if I want to be alone during birth.
I also have this feeling that a situation might present itself where I might not be able to have a midwife. I don't know what it would be, but I feel almost compelled to learn more about UC in case it becomes absolutely necessary (in addition to being a preference, if that makes sense).
We have had a UP as well---I have never been fond of the amount of appts and poking/proding (that I have felt completely useless), so this was a no brainer for me. I have had 2 U/S's, for dating and then to see fingers and toes, but otherwise the only 'professional' I have been seeing is me (and who knows me better?!) :
This pregnancy has been really tough, a complete and utter difference from my first. Right now I am covered in the PPPUPS rash, ezcema (I look horrible), but worse I can hardly sleep because I am so itchy. It is crazy! I have been seeing a chiro for SPD, and I broke my foot several weeks back, it has kind of been one thing after another. AND I have had prodromal labor for about 6 weeks, talk about getting your hopes up!
We currently have family staying with us (driving me crazy) and I am hoping baby comes very very soon
I haven't been posting too much (I feel like I am just so whiney, who wants to read that all day?!) but also with family and my other kids can't log on as often as I would like.
Please send me labor vibes!
I'm at week...ummm...I think it's somewhere around 31... not completely sure- I haven't been keeping track. I am planning a secret UC in a remote community. I am actually hoping to be alone to labour and birth in a La Bassine in our basement (the finished rooms) and have been UP this whole pg. This will be my second UC after 2 c-sections with ds1 and ds2. I am healthy so far, and this baby is unusually responsive even for our babes, which is remarkable! I love getting to know the littles in the womb; it's such an amazing experience- it's so nice to have a private pregnancy and birth. I can't wait! How many mothers do you know who actually look forward to labour and birth? If you have a list, then count me in! We're expecting this babe anytime between October and December (my last pg was 44+2, so accounting for the possibility of 37 weeks and also 44- 45 makes it a big stretch).
My only concerns are about the community's response if there is any need for me to leave our home for a few weeks because here, pg mamas have to leave town 3 weeks prior to edd and then don't typically return for a few weeks following the actual birth. I am glad the birth will be happening during the winter because people aren't out and about when it's -40 and -50 for a few months in a row. I'm counting on the deep-freeze buffer to keep things quiet and safe for us. Otherwise, there is a great possibility of having cps visit- which I'm not too concerned about with there being over 200 children on the wait list for foster care here, some living in motel rooms with workers even. They're so overloaded that they can only remove those children who are literally on the verge of death, so while a freebirth may be just interesting enough to warrant a visit, not much else would be likely to happen. My issue is that I just don't want to deal with that at all.
Otherwise, I feel safe and confident; ready, except for our dire lack of supplies currently. I have to get on that! OH! And if we have a girl, she'll be dressed in truck and dinosaur motifs for a while .
Well, I've been absent for 8 months, and during that time, it turns out that I have completely transformed. You are all precious. Thank you for being here and sharing your lives. You are truly a gift. Jan. 23, 2012
I hope I can post here, but please let me know if I can't. I had a UC/hospital transfer w/dd and because of that experience, for a lot of reasons, we have decided on attended homebirth for this one. I still feel deeply drawn to UC and may choose UC in the future. I also know that because my midwife lives pretty far from me and I might not realize labor is "it" until transition or thereabouts that she may well arrive after the baby. I know it isn't planned UC, but I feel like this board is my home on MDC and I'd love to be a part of this thread. I had a difficult time choosing what to do for this birth (I'm due in March) and am hoping to develop some trust with the midwives since I felt there was no trust in my relationship with my doctor from my first pregnancy (he was a family MD who did homebirths - just stopped this year because he couldn't get malpractice insurance).
Also, I loved laboring alone (just with dh). It was a very intimate, private and joyful experience and I think that I would resent a lot of intrusion during labor, so I suspect that when I feel it's time to call the midwives it'll be later rather than sooner. I had regular (every 2-3 min) contractions for 21 hours with dd (entire labor, from start to finish), so I don't think I can use "ctx are 5 min apart" for any kind of indicator as to whether I'm in early or active labor. And I know they don't want to sit through 12 hours of early/early active labor, either!
Anyway, I would just like to hang out here, offer my support, and share pregnancy and birth joys. Thanks.
There is no such thing as bad weather. Only bad clothing.
I've been lurking on this board since my DD was born 15 months ago. I was planning a midwife attended vbac but it went entirely haywire and I had a second cesearean. My emotional backlash from that has sent me straight down the UC path, wanting to avoid ever stepping foot in a hospital while pregnant again!
Though my DH and I aren't planning on TTC for another year or so, I'm already mentally planning my UC. Not sure if I'll UP yet, but definitely UC.
to all you pregnant mamas -- can't wait to read your birth stories.