But I know only you guys can understand this, only you will get it, so I will share it with you and hopefully it will make sense.
Our birth story.
I was so excited on the 28th, I had significant bloody show and knew that I would be meeting my son very soon. I had been having irregular contractions for weeks, but I intuitively knew my body was really getting ready now, and I felt changes happening. On the 29th I really began nesting, trying to get everything ready, I told Dh to get some rest, he would be needed in the next 24 hours. I think he wanted that to be true, but thought I was getting a bit ahead of myself because I was very done (at 42 weeks) with being pregnant. So he nodded and smiled.
That night he had taken his mom out for her birthday, the kids and I played, cleaned some more, etc. I told my 4 yr old ds "your baby brother is coming tonight" and he got really excited. I told Dh again, get ready! ) I put the kids to bed and accidentally fell asleep right with them, but a contraction woke me from my slumber and reminded me that I had more yet to do.
830p that night my contractions were still very irregular, no closer than 20 minutes apart, but I will consider that the start of my labor, as the quality of the contractions changed into something more, I felt progress, I felt pressure in my pelvis. My lovely baby was FINALLY head down, as he often was transverse and moving about constantly. I knew he was ready, and so was I. And not just in a 'sick of being pregnant' kind of way, although that was true, but I felt elated, powerful, relaxed, my physical and mental being were ready to go through the birthing journey and meet my son.
Dh returned home later in the evening, I was busy getting our birthing supplies in order, getting my 'nest' perfect, lighting candles, etc. My master bedroom and bath were dimly lit by candlelight and I had 'rain and thunder' playing on my cd player, I was really hoping to have our baby during a great monsoon storm, but in the interim I could pretend =0) By this time Dh was getting excited, I think he could feel the energy, he knew we were all ready and he could see me glowing with anticipation. I, did, however ask him to go to bed. It was late and we have 5 other children, and I thought one of us being quite rested would be better than 2 of us exhausted. I had to argue with him a bit, but he finally relented.
In the mean time I felt most comfortable in my bathroom, standing and dancing through my contractions. Sounds silly? But it worked for me, it felt wonderful to move joyously and purposefully through each peak and descend with each transition. It hadn't taken very long, I did check a few contractions and they were now nearly perfectly 5 minutes apart. I had decided at that point to stop checking the clock, it took me out of my mental realm and I wanted to just be with the baby. Some time later as I am dancing through a contraction, swaying and moving and breathing lightly, somewhere in conversation with this lovely being inside of me, my 4 yr old ds walks in and says "mommy, what are you doing?!" I was so within myself he actually had to touch me before I realized he was there. I talked to him about his brother coming very soon and tucked him into our bed, he fell asleep right away.
I had decided to get into the tub and see how I felt in the warm water. My legs and arms were tired from all of the dancing, and I wanted to sit. I filled the tub up and had this gorgeous painting in front of me that I kind of got lost in. It is the desert at sunset, and I was envisioning rising in the sky somewhere up into the universe to bring my baby, his soul, our gift, earthside. I imagined us traveling this journey, through a tunnel, a vorticy, our souls meeting, and traveling together from somewhere in the stars, somewhere in the universe this beautiful soul was being given to me to protect and love. I could see us floating, walking, moving from this ethereal place closer to our world, closer to the portal of my body. I wish there was a way for me to better put this into words, but I have tried and cannot accurately describe the incredible and deeply spiritual feeling I had bringing baby 'home'.
I decided at some point to get out of tub, I felt energized and wanted to dance again. Somehow by physically moving and mentally moving the contractions almost seemed fun, I knew with each one that I was further within myself and closer to my baby. And then a few hours later (my guess), my legs grew tired once again. I decided the hot water would be great to relax in again, and jumped back in. My husband had checked on me a couple of times and I again told him to go back to bed. He wanted to pour water over me, rub my back and he was being so supportive, but I just needed to be alone. He later told me he felt left out, but he knew that it was the place I needed to be.
At this point I was physically tired, I had been awake for the entire day, and now most of the night--and as we know--labor is work! Thinking back on it, I really wanted to stay in bed this day, I was unusually tired and I now realize that I should have listened to my instinct and gotten some rest--lesson learned.
I continued to not check the clock so I don't know how close my contractions were, but the quality transformed into several peaks and few breaks. I vomited. This is familiar territory for me, I knew I was close to show time. I checked myself and could feel the bag of water starting to come down.
Dh came in again to check on me and I told him soon, we are almost there, but asked him to go. I leaned forward to turn the hot water on to get the bath warmed up again when I felt a explosion, literally a pop was almost audible, at least within myself. I knew at once that my bag of waters broke, and before I could even yell to my husband I felt a bolt of lightening, a surge of energy so great it nearly knocked the wind out of me. Before I could logically wrap my mind around what was happening, my body started involuntarily pushing, I jumped onto my knees and felt his head, he was already crowning! I yelled for dh "His head! I feel his head! He has so much hair! OMG he has so much hair!" Dh ran in and my 4 yr old ds had awakened from the commotion and was right behind him, Dh put his hands in the water and also said "Wow he has so much hair", the baby was wiggling and squirming, I couldn't believe how strong he was. With the next contraction his entire body was born. It was amazing, it was so fast, it was completely and entirely instinctual, I had no time to think about it, actualize or rationalize it, control it, my body and this precious baby did all of this work together, it was so amazing =0)
Dh caught him in the water and brought him to the surface, he was pink, crying, wriggling and just gorgeous. The very first human touch our baby felt was my own, and the first eyes he looked into were his daddy's. How cool is that?!
He had a touch of vernix on his thighs and back, (and he was just over 42 weeks, just goes to show some of us need to cook them a little longer). He had a beautiful head of hair, he was huge! Ds was so excited, "Mommy, can I touch him? Can I hold him? Babies really DO come out of pee wees!"
We waited until his cord stopped pulsing, was white and limp before cutting it. He was alert, looking at daddy, such a serious face. Ds wanted to read him a book, wanted to hold him, clean him, it was so adorable. It such a happy experience.
He weighed in at 10 lbs, 6 oz, 21 inches long. He is nursing like a champ (and is already over 11 lbs now, just 11 days old).
This birthing experience has completely changed my views, it has restored my confidence in myself and birthing. What an amazing feeling to have complete trust, to surrender to this beautiful process and allow nature to take it's course.
I trust myself, I trust my body, I trust birth. I couldn't say that before. After our first, I never thought I would give birth again because the experience was so negative, now I want 20 more =0)
Thank you for sharing and hope you're enjoying your babymoon.
Rochelle ff: /home/simplyrochelle Wife to Matt; 9/08; 11/12; 6/13;
Every day brings me closer to fulfilling my dreams of becoming a midwife and a mother
What an amazing story...thanks so much for sharing it with us
♥ blogger astrologer mom to three cool kiddos, and trying to figure out this divorce thing-- Blossom and Glow ♥
Crunchy, Christ-lovin' mama to dd13, ds8, dd6, dd5, ds3
I filled the tub up and had this gorgeous painting in front of me that I kind of got lost in. It is the desert at sunset, and I was envisioning rising in the sky somewhere up into the universe to bring my baby, his soul, our gift, earthside. I imagined us traveling this journey, through a tunnel, a vorticy, our souls meeting, and traveling together from somewhere in the stars, somewhere in the universe this beautiful soul was being given to me to protect and love. I could see us floating, walking, moving from this ethereal place closer to our world, closer to the portal of my body. I wish there was a way for me to better put this into words, but I have tried and cannot accurately describe the incredible and deeply spiritual feeling I had bringing baby 'home'.