Making out / sex DURING labor? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 32 Old 11-24-2007, 02:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I found this online and wondering what people's experiences are on making out / having sex during labor.

I am curious about it because I am simply amazed at how incredibly helpful sex has been this time around. The other times, DH and I did not do the did much in the third trimester. This time has been different though : Anyway, I have been having AWFUL back pains (baby is posterior), extreme pressure in my cervix and vulva and overall feeling miserable during the day - so much that I have to talk myself into not losing it and crying. I take hot baths, do my birthball exercises, try to relax - but nothing helps. Then when DH and I have sex at night, ALL pain is gone and I feel wonderful - almost as if I were not pregnant anymore, and it lasts until midday the next day! If we don't have sex for some reason or another, I can't sleep because of pain and my next day is miserable.

So I am beginning to think that making out or something DURING labor may be helpful somehow? I am not sure about sex itself because it may be too much (and of course, after the water is gone, you should not put anything up there) ?

Do share your experiences. How has it helped you?
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#2 of 32 Old 11-24-2007, 03:00 AM
 
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Oh, absolutely. It was a very important aspect of my last labor and the days leading up to it.

I haven't actually had sex in labor, the circumstances were never right for it, but I can certainly envision it. And... we did have some wonderful intimate time with my last labor that was very sexually charged, even very near the end. I don't talk about it much, because... well, it's a hard thing for people to wrap their minds around, and it's also very personal. If I don't want to share my birth with others, why would I want to share the details of the intimate events surrounding it?

But yeah. As long as it's authentic, coming from a very primal place, and it feels natural and good to the mother, I think the more the better.
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#3 of 32 Old 11-24-2007, 05:13 AM
 
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I am all about sex/making out in labor. Unfortunately, when I was actually IN labor, my mind was elsewhere (Laborland) and I wasn't interested. I think DH was disappointed, too, since we had talked about it beforehand as a possibility.

When I'm pregnant, for some reason, I'm pretty much after sex all the time! I think it's related to all the extra blood flow, etc. Plus, I just feel extremely feminine and sexy when I'm pregnant, especially once I start getting bigger with that beautiful, round belly!

We had tons of sex with my last pregnancy and we're off to another good start in that department with this one, too....I do find it very stress-relieving, relaxing, intimate, fun...and it feels great (again, I think because of all the extra blood flow, etc.)

I'm definitely interested in trying it again this time. I mentioned it to DH and he's totally on board with that idea as well!
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#4 of 32 Old 11-24-2007, 07:26 AM
 
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We had sex during the earlier part of labor when I was due wtih my DS. Labor was quite painless the whole time. DD's was more intense, not painful, but she was also over 2 lbs bigger, no sex during labor though.

I know there are Beta Endorphines in sperm and we've receptors for that in our vaginas... so no wonder it helps with pain and makes us feel so damned good and sexy!

Mum to DS (8yrs), DD (6yrs), and DS(3.5yrs). kid.gif

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#5 of 32 Old 11-24-2007, 12:04 PM
 
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I think I can imagine this, I haven't tried.

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#6 of 32 Old 11-24-2007, 01:26 PM
 
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I've haven't had sex in labor, but I did have sex the morning I went into labor with Isabella. We had sex and at 7am on the dot I had my first contraction.

We're pretty busy this pregnancy...more so than ever before. So I guess we'll see how it goes! I'm open to sex in labor but only if it feels right.
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#7 of 32 Old 11-24-2007, 01:33 PM
 
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Some author, sorry can't remember any more, says that the mouth being relaxed is going to mean the yoni will be more relaxed.

Anyway, I gotta think all the extra orgasms with my 2nd pregnancy made that birth so much easier. : Didn't actually do anything during labor, but much more leading up to it!

Naomi, Just finished a transformation
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#8 of 32 Old 11-24-2007, 01:39 PM
 
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Sex is the very last thing I would want during labor I think! My pregnancies were different-I wanted sex a lot w/ my first, and basically none w/ my 2nd. Go figure.

Laura, CBE and mom to Maddiewaterbirth.jpg ( 06/03/04) & Graceuc.jpg (  09/10/06)
 
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#9 of 32 Old 11-24-2007, 01:40 PM
 
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Yeah, birthing DD was just another kind of lovemaking.

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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#10 of 32 Old 11-24-2007, 03:34 PM
 
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Ina Mae Gaskin talks about how much it helps mama to be intimate w/her partner during labor, don't remember anything about sex specifically, but you could look it up in her books Spiritual Midwifery and her Guide to Childbirth. I've also heard mention somewhere about women using vibrators during labor.
I'm all for trying anything that will make it easier, less painful, more sensual and yummy. I'm sure DP would totally be on board w/anything of the sort especially if he got to help!
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#11 of 32 Old 11-24-2007, 03:45 PM
 
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Yeah, birthing DD was just another kind of lovemaking.
That is beautiful!

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#12 of 32 Old 11-24-2007, 05:30 PM
 
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Dp and I are planning on kissing/being intimate, though we aren't set on it.. I mostly envision myself laboring alone and I've also had a lot of feelings that this labor will be fast and the baby will possibly be breach (though Soren finally turned last night!). I would be open to making love during labor if the time seems right and we will definetly use that method for getting things ready (worked last time!). I think that if the mama and papa are both comfortable than it would be a beautiful 'transition'! (that's how we all ended up here anyway so why not end the pregnancy like that too..).

Sara

dd1- 6 1/2, dd2- 3, dc3: 'due' in Feb 2008!

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#13 of 32 Old 11-24-2007, 05:44 PM
 
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I read about this in Spiritual Midwifery.It makes sense.My third was a LONG labor,and the mw suggested "getting it on"and left the room, but i was WAY too frustrated and tired at that point.Turn out the baby was acynclitic,and we did MAJOR yoga in contractions and turnrd her-she was out in 20 min.!I wonder if sex or making out would have made a difference.I'm open to the idea, but we tend to have a big birth crowd, so it would be tricky.We'll see.If we have a UC in the night, and the kids are all sleeping, it would be very possible!

:::
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#14 of 32 Old 11-28-2007, 01:02 PM
 
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I had sex with dp when I was in early labor with my son. I still had a long labor, but it did makes things feel better for while we were dtd.

Mother to two great kids. &
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#15 of 32 Old 11-28-2007, 01:12 PM
 
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With DD,I woke up "in transition" if you will and felt a bit panicky so I woke DP up asnd told him I needed him to make out with me (yah REAL romantic right?). It really settled me and opened me up, etc.

Now, during actual labor my head is somewhere else so I haven't done the sex during the contraction/pushing thing. My labors tend to be very short (less than 3 hrs) so I really need to concentrate in order not to be overwhelmed by the sheer power of my births.
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#16 of 32 Old 11-28-2007, 06:39 PM
 
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I found clitoral stimulation to be great for pain relief during my first UC. Second UC, dh and I dtd during early labor, when I wasn't sure if it was the "real deal" yet or not. It was great to relieve some of the twinges and pressure I was having, and I was much more relaxed after the fact.

Laura, mama to J (15), N (12), E (9) , M (6), and our little caboose, R (3).
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#17 of 32 Old 11-28-2007, 07:47 PM
 
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With my UC DH and I DTD and my water broke 10 minutes later. DS was born 25 minutes after that. I didn't know it then but I was probably in early labour while we were having sex. I am one of those people who start labour with the water breaking and then the contractions start at 1 min apart.

Wife to DH, Mom to my Intact Boys DS1: Born 02 Pain Med Free Hospital Birth, BF'ed for 9 Months, Partially Vax'd DS2: Born 06 via UC, BF'ed 3 years 10 months, and UnVax'd
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#18 of 32 Old 11-28-2007, 08:09 PM
 
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Thanks for linking to my article! If you click on "Your Sensual Self" near the top of the page you can read more about this. I had sex in labor with my second child and found it helpful (see "Willie's Birth Story" in the UC section of my site).
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#19 of 32 Old 11-28-2007, 09:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I can't find it Laura! Can you maybe link to it? Thanks!!
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#20 of 32 Old 11-28-2007, 09:20 PM
 
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I'm not allowed to link to it, but if you Google "Willie's birth story" you'll see it.
Laura
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#21 of 32 Old 11-28-2007, 09:27 PM
 
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With my first, my water broke LONG before I actually went into labor, so no deal.
With my second, I did some nipple stim, but no sex just for the fun of it...

I really can't imagine it being high on the priority list during labor, but i'm certainly not opposed to it... it would have to seem right, i guess.

Different drummer dancing with 3 kids in 3 decades.
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#22 of 32 Old 11-28-2007, 10:32 PM
 
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I love love love the idea of it, some kissing, making out, maybe more... and Dh would be totally into it. He's ALL ABOUT how hot I am in labor. Must be something primal about it, he practically growls at me "RRRRRRrr."

But during labor so far I've just not even been able to start to think of it. It's kind of like, "Are you kidding me?" Just way too much stimulation for me, it's way overwhelming to be touched at all.

I'm still open to the idea though... maybe this time... nudge nudge wink wink...

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#23 of 32 Old 11-29-2007, 01:05 AM
 
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I plan on using sex as a relaxation/distraction during labor but that could change once Im in labor.. and I personally dont feel comfortable having sex after my water breaks if it breaks early on lol
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#24 of 32 Old 11-29-2007, 01:28 AM
 
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I cannot vouch for my own willingness to have sex during labor but DH told me later that he kept getting erections while I was pushing because it was very erotic to him. Lol, he was worried my parents would see and think he was a perv!
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#25 of 32 Old 11-29-2007, 10:56 AM
 
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I guess maybe I'm the lone woman out here but I would probably bite my dh's umm head off if he tried to do anything sexual while I'm in labor. I don't like to be touched at all when I am in labor and anything sexual would put me over the edge. Not my thing at all. While labor is sensual it is not sexual in the least to me.

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#26 of 32 Old 11-29-2007, 12:27 PM
 
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I cannot vouch for my own willingness to have sex during labor but DH told me later that he kept getting erections while I was pushing because it was very erotic to him. Lol, he was worried my parents would see and think he was a perv!
That's fabulous!

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#27 of 32 Old 11-29-2007, 01:11 PM
 
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I cannot vouch for my own willingness to have sex during labor but DH told me later that he kept getting erections while I was pushing because it was very erotic to him. Lol, he was worried my parents would see and think he was a perv!
Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one ... my Dh has been totally respectful of my whole "Dont' talk, don't move, don't touch" thing during labor, but I know he'd jump me in a heartbeat if he got the green light.

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#28 of 32 Old 11-29-2007, 01:35 PM
 
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I cannot vouch for my own willingness to have sex during labor but DH told me later that he kept getting erections while I was pushing because it was very erotic to him. Lol, he was worried my parents would see and think he was a perv!
Just one more reason to have privacy!

With my last birth, our only totally private one, my husband woke in the middle of the night to be with me, so he wasn't quite out of that alpha state. That and the privacy together allowed him to be in this very primal place that complemented the primal place I was in already. We have a very mutual and natural attraction and I'm very comforted by his body, so I have no doubt if I hadn't been in such pain I would have found the whole thing very arousing myself. Which I'm convinced it should be, given the chemicals that are involved -- there isn't a term for birth that is analogous to "sexual arousal" but there is certainly a state that is. As it was I wasn't interested in sex at that point, nor would he have suggested it, but I was absolutely delighted by his arousal, and I'm sure it had an effect on my own hormonal process. Emotionally, I found it touching and comforting, and it was very much in keeping with the fertility goddess mentality I'd been cultivating throughout the pregnancy. It's one of my favorite memories of any of my births.
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#29 of 32 Old 11-29-2007, 01:51 PM
 
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I found some stories on this online a while ago and sent them to DH... he was very up to it... if I am... ofcourse. It never occured to me during my last labor.

With him being in Iraq until a couple of weeks before we are due, I have a feeling that we'll be making the best of every opportunity right up until the birth!
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#30 of 32 Old 12-03-2007, 07:25 PM
 
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we did in labor with my little one! i was contracting every 3 mins or so...he says it was really weird

it didnt help or hurt anything, if id Od bigger, i think it may have helped some, at least making something stronger, but i mainly felt my cervix dialating rather than contracting like most people do, anyway...

ive almost never not been interested, i seriously would within hours of birth, if i had someone around the first time (we were in different states) or if there wasnt a risk of infection, dang it but especially me thinking it would help me out, with the semen and all, and being the last time for a couple weeks for sure, i sure wasnt turning him down and since i was induced at almost 43 weeks the first time, i tried to lots towards the end to give my uterus the idea hehe.

when i get towards the pushing, i want quiet and darkness, but i wouldnt have minded him or my son being there (my 2yo ran off right before i pushed out the baby to play with my brother )
though thats not something id have been interested in at that point because i go into my little focus on the labor and try to get rid of anything bothering me place, but any other time isnt off limits
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