Hands offa me!!! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 12 Old 12-06-2007, 04:07 AM - Thread Starter
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I've been on the UC fence this whole pregnancy. I've had shadow care with a midwife because I want a non ER back up. I've been debating about calling her to let her know what's up, to have her on hand the way a lifeguard is on hand at the beach. But.... Lately I've been watching home birth videos on youtube with 2.5 y/o ds to give him an idea of what's to come. The videos which aren't UCs have totally freaked me out. Having that many people around, having a mw dopplering, having people examining and poking and prodding while doing one of the most intimate things in the world... ARGH!!!!!

Hubby will be lucky if I let him near me that day. I already want to scream at everyone to go away! It just made me really angry. I had a physical reaction to it. Blah!

Maybe baby will arrive at this hour and I can give birth while everyone is sleeping and leaving me alone anyway.

ok I feel better. Just had to rant a bit.
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#2 of 12 Old 12-06-2007, 04:21 AM
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I am sooo with you. Get the f away from me. : The MW I have been seeing wants to induce me. I am fine, baby is fine. Leave me the f alone. My due date was last week and I thought the babe was going to come on Thanksgiving. That may account for some of my attitude on this one.
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#3 of 12 Old 12-06-2007, 09:49 AM
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I know how you feel mama. I just want to be left alone too. I did hire a doula but she knows how I feel and may end up on the couch with my husband while I'm birthing in the bedroom!

Doula mama to artistic DD and monster DS. #3 on the way!
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#4 of 12 Old 12-06-2007, 10:46 AM
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I'm right there with ya! I cannot imagine giving birth with people all about. I actually don't even think it would *work.*

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#5 of 12 Old 12-06-2007, 10:46 AM
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I feel the same way, and it's something I've struggled with. I ended up deciding on an attended homebirth this time, and the first responder midwife's assistant has assured me that she'll stay unobtrusive and out of the way. I guess I just worry that having someone doppler and take my BP every 15 minutes is going to drive me crazy when I'm trying to have a baby, no matter how unobtrusive she's trying to be. : But despite how strong the draw is, UC just doesn't feel right this time . . . and I have to respect that instinct. It's hard to feel so conflicted about it, and to not be able to have just what you want (which, this time, for me, would be someone who just let me do my thing and didn't bother me at all unless I asked for help, but that's not an option in my area due to limited HCP choice. Don't get me wrong; I like my midwives . . . I just haven't gotten to know them very well, and I don't think they'd be comfortable with as hands-off of a birth as I'd love to have).
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#6 of 12 Old 12-06-2007, 11:34 AM
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i agree completely. in my mw homebirth, my second child, having an audience made it very hard. i felt i had to draw inward and i wasnt comfortable in my own home. i was self conscious, afraid, and annoyed.

my next birth was my first UC and it was incredible. i didnt even want dh in the room. he came by occasionally to ask me if i wanted anything and i managed to call him in just before the baby was born.

i dont need anyone around me, it isnt helpful at all.

Hi, I'm Tabitha. I'm a homeschooling mother of four: ds (11) dd (9) ds (7) ds (5) And I'm expecting a fifth in 2014! Find me at http://www.omelay.blogspot.com
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#7 of 12 Old 12-06-2007, 01:00 PM
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I know, I know. Some of those videos are terrible. What gets me is the people commenting "Oh how beautiful" etc. There is such a huge cloud of ignorance and denial.
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#8 of 12 Old 12-06-2007, 01:43 PM
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I'm not even pregnant yet (Not planning to be till 2008/2009) and I'm considering a UC just because I couldn't stand everyone around telling me what to do or touching me.

Lu - A ten year plan is forming, here's hoping everything lines up
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#9 of 12 Old 12-06-2007, 02:23 PM
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I totally get it. DH is the only one allowed near me, and he's not to touch or talk!
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#10 of 12 Old 12-06-2007, 02:54 PM
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I totally understand. With my other three births, I was so hindered by all the people in the room and touching and moving me, and it not being up to me. I was so embarrassed the whole time. This time WILL be different! I will have my kids there, and dh if he doesn't p!$$ me off.

AP Mom to 5 knit.gifhomeschool.giftoddler.gif

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#11 of 12 Old 12-06-2007, 02:57 PM
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Absolutely. If there was one main message my body was sending me during my first labor it was - DO NOT LET ANYONE INTERFERE IN ANY WAY. I don't think I'm always the most intuitive person, but I certainly was in labor. For some reason that thought was intense with my first birth (not that anyone was trying to interfere). With the other births I was alone so it wasn't an issue. But with my first I could almost say my body was screaming - STAY AWAY, STAY AWAY. David rubbed my belly and that was fine but if anyone would have tried to check dilation or do perenial massage I think I would have bitten their head off!
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#12 of 12 Old 12-07-2007, 02:39 AM - Thread Starter
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Thanks for all of the replies and commiseration!

I'm off to find more UC videos!
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