Hands offa me!!! - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 12 Old 12-06-2007, 04:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
Diva Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 522
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've been on the UC fence this whole pregnancy. I've had shadow care with a midwife because I want a non ER back up. I've been debating about calling her to let her know what's up, to have her on hand the way a lifeguard is on hand at the beach. But.... Lately I've been watching home birth videos on youtube with 2.5 y/o ds to give him an idea of what's to come. The videos which aren't UCs have totally freaked me out. Having that many people around, having a mw dopplering, having people examining and poking and prodding while doing one of the most intimate things in the world... ARGH!!!!!

Hubby will be lucky if I let him near me that day. I already want to scream at everyone to go away! It just made me really angry. I had a physical reaction to it. Blah!

Maybe baby will arrive at this hour and I can give birth while everyone is sleeping and leaving me alone anyway.


ok I feel better. Just had to rant a bit.
Diva Mama is offline  
#2 of 12 Old 12-06-2007, 04:21 AM
 
ckberkey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 393
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am sooo with you. Get the f away from me. : The MW I have been seeing wants to induce me. I am fine, baby is fine. Leave me the f alone. My due date was last week and I thought the babe was going to come on Thanksgiving. That may account for some of my attitude on this one.
ckberkey is offline  
#3 of 12 Old 12-06-2007, 09:49 AM
 
imbarefoot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Oly
Posts: 834
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I know how you feel mama. I just want to be left alone too. I did hire a doula but she knows how I feel and may end up on the couch with my husband while I'm birthing in the bedroom!

Doula mama to artistic DD and monster DS. #3 on the way!
HAVE YOU HEARD OF SQUAT ANARCHIST BIRTH JOURNAL YET?? IF NOT, GOOGLE IT!
imbarefoot is offline  
#4 of 12 Old 12-06-2007, 10:46 AM
 
rmzbm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: NC
Posts: 16,378
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm right there with ya! I cannot imagine giving birth with people all about. I actually don't even think it would *work.*

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
rmzbm is offline  
#5 of 12 Old 12-06-2007, 10:46 AM
 
Romana's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 4,365
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I feel the same way, and it's something I've struggled with. I ended up deciding on an attended homebirth this time, and the first responder midwife's assistant has assured me that she'll stay unobtrusive and out of the way. I guess I just worry that having someone doppler and take my BP every 15 minutes is going to drive me crazy when I'm trying to have a baby, no matter how unobtrusive she's trying to be. : But despite how strong the draw is, UC just doesn't feel right this time . . . and I have to respect that instinct. It's hard to feel so conflicted about it, and to not be able to have just what you want (which, this time, for me, would be someone who just let me do my thing and didn't bother me at all unless I asked for help, but that's not an option in my area due to limited HCP choice. Don't get me wrong; I like my midwives . . . I just haven't gotten to know them very well, and I don't think they'd be comfortable with as hands-off of a birth as I'd love to have).
Romana is offline  
#6 of 12 Old 12-06-2007, 11:34 AM
 
tabitha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: berkeley, ca
Posts: 2,412
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i agree completely. in my mw homebirth, my second child, having an audience made it very hard. i felt i had to draw inward and i wasnt comfortable in my own home. i was self conscious, afraid, and annoyed.

my next birth was my first UC and it was incredible. i didnt even want dh in the room. he came by occasionally to ask me if i wanted anything and i managed to call him in just before the baby was born.

i dont need anyone around me, it isnt helpful at all.

Hi, I'm Tabitha. I'm a homeschooling mother of four: ds (11) dd (9) ds (7) ds (5) And I'm expecting a fifth in 2014! Find me at http://www.omelay.blogspot.com
tabitha is offline  
#7 of 12 Old 12-06-2007, 01:00 PM
 
cottonwood's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 7,366
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I know, I know. Some of those videos are terrible. What gets me is the people commenting "Oh how beautiful" etc. There is such a huge cloud of ignorance and denial.
cottonwood is offline  
#8 of 12 Old 12-06-2007, 01:43 PM
 
patronia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Tasmania, Australia.
Posts: 344
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm not even pregnant yet (Not planning to be till 2008/2009) and I'm considering a UC just because I couldn't stand everyone around telling me what to do or touching me.

Lu - A ten year plan is forming, here's hoping everything lines up
patronia is offline  
#9 of 12 Old 12-06-2007, 02:23 PM
 
feebeeglee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 2,751
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I totally get it. DH is the only one allowed near me, and he's not to touch or talk!
feebeeglee is offline  
#10 of 12 Old 12-06-2007, 02:54 PM
 
kittywitty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: The Room of Requirement
Posts: 13,493
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 8 Post(s)
I totally understand. With my other three births, I was so hindered by all the people in the room and touching and moving me, and it not being up to me. I was so embarrassed the whole time. This time WILL be different! I will have my kids there, and dh if he doesn't p!$$ me off.

AP Mom to 5 knit.gifhomeschool.giftoddler.gif
 
  

kittywitty is offline  
#11 of 12 Old 12-06-2007, 02:57 PM
 
laurashanley's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 531
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Absolutely. If there was one main message my body was sending me during my first labor it was - DO NOT LET ANYONE INTERFERE IN ANY WAY. I don't think I'm always the most intuitive person, but I certainly was in labor. For some reason that thought was intense with my first birth (not that anyone was trying to interfere). With the other births I was alone so it wasn't an issue. But with my first I could almost say my body was screaming - STAY AWAY, STAY AWAY. David rubbed my belly and that was fine but if anyone would have tried to check dilation or do perenial massage I think I would have bitten their head off!
Laura
laurashanley is offline  
#12 of 12 Old 12-07-2007, 02:39 AM - Thread Starter
 
Diva Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 522
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks for all of the replies and commiseration!

I'm off to find more UC videos!
Diva Mama is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off