Join Date: May 2005
Location: Arizona for now
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I'm Heather and I'm pregnant with my 5th baby this fall. (Hopefully just one baby!) I used a CNM for my first 2 pregnancies and my 5yo DS was a hospital birth and 3yo DS was a cesarean. I used lay MWs for my last birth and had a HBAC with my twin DDs who are 20 months now. Now I am planning a UC for this birth.
I did shadow care with my last pregnancy which consisted of a pregnancy test at 14 weeks. I had no plans of going back until my MW discovered twins and dropped me. I went in for an u/s at 22 weeks to confirm and then started searching for new MWs. Around 34 weeks I started going for backup appts. again and managed to deal with the stress of that until they scheduled my ERCS.
Now I am considering shadow care again for 2 reasons. One, I am thinking my insurance would give me a hard time if I needed to go to the hospital and had no "proof" of pregnancy. (We have Tricare-anyone know?) And two, I worry about someone calling CPS on me if I did need to transport and had no "proof" of prenatal care. I know I could get by with 1 or 2 prenatal visits to the backup Dr because I did it last time and they never noticed.
My dilemma is that one of my closest friends is a MW here and I assist her at births. She works with another MW (the on who dropped me last time) and we are all friends. I'm worried that planning a UC might cause friction in my friendship and/or working relationship with these MWs. My friend has already said that she will not be able to come to the birth if she is not there as my MW. And she can't just come and sit there, she'd have to do frequent monitoring and I'd need prenatal labs, etc. I just DO NOT want to do this!
My DH is on board with my decision to UC. I have several friends that would be willing to come "doula" for me and help keep an eye on my children, video the birth, etc. I just feel awful that my birth choices could jeopardize my relationship with the MWs. I've considered hiring them for the birth and not calling them. I'm not sure this would be a better choice. Also, they would insist on their standard prenatal care and I greatly desire to avoid that. I would much rather do my own prenatal care and am perfectly capable of doing so.
Sorry this was so long. Any thoughts about my situation?
Heather, Army wife & Mama to M (10), J (9), L & S (my HBAC babies are 7!), N & R (5), and A (born 11/30/12 UBA2C)