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#31 of 54 Old 02-18-2008, 09:29 PM
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that is very awesome.
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#32 of 54 Old 02-18-2008, 09:56 PM
 
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Good for you, Marie! I kinda had a feeling you'd be back...
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#33 of 54 Old 02-18-2008, 10:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Good for you, Marie! I kinda had a feeling you'd be back...
So did I...

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#34 of 54 Old 02-18-2008, 11:03 PM
 
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I'm so glad you found some peace, no matter which way you decided to go!
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#35 of 54 Old 02-19-2008, 09:53 AM
 
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I hope you have a beautiful, easy, happy birth!

But I just have to say; being born via c-section is not the worst thing in the world. Being born safely is a birthrite too. Have you considered getting a second opinion regarding your scar tissue? Knowing is half the battle, right?

I hope that if you do wind up needing medical care to help your baby into the world, you know that it doesn't make you any less of a woman, or a mom.
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#36 of 54 Old 02-19-2008, 02:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I hope you have a beautiful, easy, happy birth!

But I just have to say; being born via c-section is not the worst thing in the world. Being born safely is a birthrite too. Have you considered getting a second opinion regarding your scar tissue? Knowing is half the battle, right?

I hope that if you do wind up needing medical care to help your baby into the world, you know that it doesn't make you any less of a woman, or a mom.
Thank you. I genuinly appreciate the concern. I know what I want but I am not willing to risk anyone to get it, rest assured...if I feel I need help there is a hospital 5 min. away & I have NO trepidition about utilizing it - if I need it.

I've got several other opinons, all conflicting. Ultimately I have to decide what is safer and a 5th cesarean section undeniably comes with risk as well. I think normal needs to be the default & I can't justify surgery. The "risks" I am handed don't seem to have any basis in logic. This was a very (VERY!!) thoughtful decision, I'm not making rash choices, BELIEVE ME...I have agonized for months and been all over the place regarding decisions. But this is the only one that feels good & right.

And, no, I don't feel like "less" of anything having had 4 already. I'm a realist & it is what it is. Of course, it IS wrong too. Can't overlook the glaringly obvious because then there is no chance to learn and grow, and isn't that what life's all about?

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#37 of 54 Old 02-20-2008, 02:41 PM
 
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Hi Marie!
A fellow 4 c-section mommy here jumping on in. I think I can relate somewhat to the want for a "normal" birth. When my best friend had her wonderful daughter with a midwife, I was amazed at how peaceful it was. The clinical feeling wasn't there but the amazing moment of birth was there with the baby on her mommy's tummy nursing within seconds. A huge change from how my births were!
This being said though, I remember how sore my body was in the weeks leading up to the birth of my 4th My body was completely rejecting stretching the scar tissue and the lower part of my uterus was thinning rapidly.
I know you want the unassisted birth experience but please remember the result is what we treasure, the experience of uassisted would be intense and wonderful if all went well but after much reading in my last trimester (I was on bed rest to help out my uterus) I am convinced that trying for a vbac after so much surgery and scarring would be too much of a risk. The chances of something going very wrong are so there A complete rupture would not necessarily give you the 5 minutes to get to the hospital let alone getting prepped for emergency surgery and getting your precious baby where he or she belongs, safely in your arms.
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I think a normal birth is as much a birthright as breastmilk...and as hard as I tried I CANNOT justify surgery
Your darling baby has a right to be born safely and I'm sure you will find that while a 5th c-section has significant risks, birthing him or her at home with no medical help has much more risks than I think could ever be accepted.
If you are 100% committed to a vbac, could you not do that in a hospital with your OB? When I originally asked my OB about a vbac after 3, he said that he wasn't comfortable doing that but if I felt that I really wanted to do that, we could go to a bigger center (Vancouver Women's hospital in BC) where there were more OB's with more experience in that. That way if you needed to have an emergency section, you would be in the hospital already with the help you would need.
My thoughts are with you and your little one while you explore your options.
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#38 of 54 Old 02-20-2008, 03:07 PM
 
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Hi, everyone Sorry to intrude, but let's please remember that the UC forum is set up primarily for UC support and information.

The UC Forum Guidelines can be read here

Thanks!

I have retired from administration work, so if you have a question about anything MDC-related, please contact Cynthia Mosher. Thanks!
 
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#39 of 54 Old 02-20-2008, 05:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi Marie!
A fellow 4 c-section mommy here jumping on in. I think I can relate somewhat to the want for a "normal" birth. When my best friend had her wonderful daughter with a midwife, I was amazed at how peaceful it was. The clinical feeling wasn't there but the amazing moment of birth was there with the baby on her mommy's tummy nursing within seconds. A huge change from how my births were!
This being said though, I remember how sore my body was in the weeks leading up to the birth of my 4th My body was completely rejecting stretching the scar tissue and the lower part of my uterus was thinning rapidly.
I know you want the unassisted birth experience but please remember the result is what we treasure, the experience of uassisted would be intense and wonderful if all went well but after much reading in my last trimester (I was on bed rest to help out my uterus) I am convinced that trying for a vbac after so much surgery and scarring would be too much of a risk. The chances of something going very wrong are so there A complete rupture would not necessarily give you the 5 minutes to get to the hospital let alone getting prepped for emergency surgery and getting your precious baby where he or she belongs, safely in your arms.

Your darling baby has a right to be born safely and I'm sure you will find that while a 5th c-section has significant risks, birthing him or her at home with no medical help has much more risks than I think could ever be accepted.
If you are 100% committed to a vbac, could you not do that in a hospital with your OB? When I originally asked my OB about a vbac after 3, he said that he wasn't comfortable doing that but if I felt that I really wanted to do that, we could go to a bigger center (Vancouver Women's hospital in BC) where there were more OB's with more experience in that. That way if you needed to have an emergency section, you would be in the hospital already with the help you would need.
My thoughts are with you and your little one while you explore your options.
Thanks so much, I appreciate it! I see you are in Canada. Here in the US it is impossible - IMPOSSIBLE - for me to have a hospital VBAC. Firstly NOONE would consider it. No OB and I called at LEAST a dozen midwives and found ONE willing to even follow me to a hospital in a real emergency, and as my "mother" not as my mw. The liability is too great. That said, OFF the record, I had many wish me well & not seem too concerned. Figures, hu? The risk of rupture is so small it's honestly not even on my radar. If for ANY reason I feel a transfer is needed I am consenting to surgery upon admission, unless she's basically on her way out, it is inevitable so it would have to be a REAL emergency for me to go. It's not so much a need to "UC" as much as I just really am a private birther. The thought of people around me makes me very uncomfortable & that can hinder progress, of course.

Again, thanks though - I really do like hearing all opinions. And rest assured I am not unwilling to go in if I need to. Not at all.

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#40 of 54 Old 02-20-2008, 07:05 PM
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i think that the real "need" here is to birth as you see fit without people pleading with you to do otherwise based on their own fears, or assessment of their own lives or experiences or facts, or any other factors from any sources.

i truly believe that you know what is right, and that you are choosing what is right for you. To me, that could be any choice that you made--c-section, giving birth with live sharks, or upside down while howling at the moon with 33 midwives in attendance as "mothers."

but you're making this choice to UC, and because you're making it, it's a good one.
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#41 of 54 Old 02-20-2008, 07:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hmmm...you've given me a few options I hadn't thought of! Hope you won't be terribly offended if I don't try any of them! :

Trying to decide which is more appealing...sharks, or upside down howling @ the moon...hmmm...will have to ponder that one!

But, thanks - I agree 100%!

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#42 of 54 Old 02-20-2008, 07:14 PM
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well, it's really not any more absurd than going in for a c-section that you feel is unnecessary because your medical professionals refuse to give you viable options or because other people are afraid for you and think you're choosing this for the "wrong" reasons and being irresponsible and putting your baby at risk.

those are pretty absurd reasons to choose a c-section, imo, and many people choose c-sections for absurd reasons (my friend chose one because "it would be easier for her husband to plan vacation around it, as well as family to do so, so that everyone could be there when the baby was born).

sure, that makes sense too.

no thanks, rather be upside down howling at the moon or with sharks. sun sharks preferably. they don't bite so hard. feels like a pinch.
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#43 of 54 Old 02-20-2008, 07:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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well, it's really not any more absurd than going in for a c-section that you feel is unnecessary because your medical professionals refuse to give you viable options or because other people are afraid for you and think you're choosing this for the "wrong" reasons and being irresponsible and putting your baby at risk.

those are pretty absurd reasons to choose a c-section, imo, and many people choose c-sections for absurd reasons (my friend chose one because "it would be easier for her husband to plan vacation around it, as well as family to do so, so that everyone could be there when the baby was born).

sure, that makes sense too.

no thanks, rather be upside down howling at the moon or with sharks. sun sharks preferably. they don't bite so hard. feels like a pinch.


And I'm afraid to ask how you know about the shark bite...???

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#44 of 54 Old 02-20-2008, 07:21 PM
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i like sun sharks. they don't have teeth like other sharks. it's more like wooden dentures. i know it makes no sense, but that's what they looked like.

anyway, as a kid, i would visit a friend whose father was a ranger for malibu beach (forest ranger). so, they lived right on the beach, and one day i'm in the water and i see these brown-ish sharks that are small--about the length of my arm or so. and i ask my friend's dad about them, and he says they're sun sharks and rather shy and don't bite as long as we leave them be.

so, every morning and evening i go out and i make friends with sharks. i'm an odd duck like that: many animals are my friends, both wild and domestic.

so, one becomes my friend and we have a rather good summer together (well, 6 weeks). and one day, i asked about this shark's teeth, you know, because i wanted tos ee everything about htis shark. and so he put his teeth on me--no pressure. and then "chomp" to show me that his jaws were pretty powerful, but largely unnecessary since he ate small fish anyway that didn't require ripping or chewing.

it left an interesting imprint/bruise on my leg for a while.

my mom asked me about it, and i said "oh, peter taught me about his teeth."

it was a few weeks before mom asked who Peter was.
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#45 of 54 Old 02-20-2008, 07:21 PM
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btw, i was 7.
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#46 of 54 Old 02-20-2008, 07:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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: Wonder what you're mom was thinking during those weeks!

Sounds like a pretty cool experience! We lived in coastal GA for a little over a yr. before coming back to NC last fall, I REALLY miss the ocean. We had some dolphins with us once, it was SO SO cool!

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#47 of 54 Old 02-21-2008, 10:54 AM
 
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I am so glad you are feeling better about your birth Mama. My heart just broke for you when you told us in April DDC about your c/s, it was clear how wrong it felt for you.

I wish you a happy and healthy beautiful birth.

Mama to nine gorgeous babies, with finale #10 due April'14.
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#48 of 54 Old 02-21-2008, 11:23 AM
 
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Every woman has a right to assess the risks for herself. Whether the statistics say that a risk is 1 in 10, 1 in 100 or 1 in 1000 doesn't make a difference to an individual. An individual is either 0% or 100%. You know with which set of consequences you can live.

I'm so happy to learn that you've made a decision with which you are comfortable. Hope we can be of service to you.
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#49 of 54 Old 02-21-2008, 12:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am so glad you are feeling better about your birth Mama. My heart just broke for you when you told us in April DDC about your c/s, it was clear how wrong it felt for you.

I wish you a happy and healthy beautiful birth.
That obvious, hu? Yeah, I was pretty down. I was so happy and at peace then it all fell apart. I had to fight with myself every day to convince myself I needed the c/s. In the end I lost, or won...somethin' like that!

Thanks!

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#50 of 54 Old 02-21-2008, 12:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Every woman has a right to assess the risks for herself. Whether the statistics say that a risk is 1 in 10, 1 in 100 or 1 in 1000 doesn't make a difference to an individual. An individual is either 0% or 100%. You know with which set of consequences you can live.

I'm so happy to learn that you've made a decision with which you are comfortable. Hope we can be of service to you.
Actually the perfectionist in me can't live with any set of consequences... But I still think I'm choosing right.

My thought process goes like this:

RIGHT NOW a cesarean is not indicated. I am sitting on my couch, typing, feeling good. Why do I need a c/s NOW? I don't. It may be indicated in the next 5 min. - or the next week, month, etc. At that time I will access the situation & decide. Until such a time as a need presents itself, why not just continue on? All is well. Labor, crowning & birth don't need to change anything, they are normal processes too.

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#51 of 54 Old 02-21-2008, 01:32 PM
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well, my mom has always found me a bit of an odd duck. i love dolphins a lot. they're a blast--but you have to be careful the the randy "teen aged" male ones. they like to try and have their way. . .

so, i think that probably a not-so-great birth option would be birthing with randy "teen-aged" male dolphins. sharks (at least, sun sharks) would be better.

i've been land-locked for years. it's heartbreaking! i see the ocean about once a year, for a day.
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#52 of 54 Old 02-21-2008, 02:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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i think that probably a not-so-great birth option would be birthing with randy
My eyes went straight to that, my DH's name is Randy...I'm sitting here thinking "why???"

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#53 of 54 Old 02-21-2008, 04:50 PM
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lol

well, it's ok to be with Randy, but not randy dolphins.

although a randy husband named Randy would be helpful during birth, assuming one wants that sort of stimulation . . .

there you go, another birth option that likely wouldn't be allowed in the hospital setting.
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#54 of 54 Old 02-21-2008, 05:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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lol

well, it's ok to be with Randy, but not randy dolphins.

although a randy husband named Randy would be helpful during birth, assuming one wants that sort of stimulation . . .

there you go, another birth option that likely wouldn't be allowed in the hospital setting.
:

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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