Prayers please **UPDATE ON MOM AND BABY** - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 138 Old 04-01-2008, 09:33 AM
 
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W.T.F is all I can say. I hope that "doctor" gets what she deserves. Many to your friend.

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#62 of 138 Old 04-01-2008, 09:36 AM
 
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OMG That poor mama! She did NOT fail, the "doctor" failed her. I cannot believe she pulled out her uterus! That is just so completely wrong. I agree with the others who say get her records ASAP and sue. It is the only way they will listen. Money talks. :

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#63 of 138 Old 04-01-2008, 09:45 AM
 
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I am just in utter shock after reading. That her uterus was ripped from her was the last thing I expected to see. I cannot express how much I feel for your friend. She & her family are in my thoughts & prayers. I do hope she finds the strength to file suit and take that monster to court so no other woman has to endure what your brave, UNFAILING friend had to

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#64 of 138 Old 04-01-2008, 10:07 AM
 
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What an incredible, strong Mama!! I can't imagine.... OMG, she did not fail. She knew what needed to be done to get her baby out and did what she could to do it. The UAV's at the hospital were beyond incompetent....criminal does sound like the right word.
Healing vibes to this incredible woman!

Sue the UAV!
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#65 of 138 Old 04-01-2008, 10:19 AM
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my thoughts and prayers are with her.

i think that this line struck me most "i don't know how to get over my failed UC."

the first step of this, in my mind, is that this is not a "failed UC." this is a UC with hospital transfer. That label may help--at least, proper labels help me. SO, i hope it helps her.

beyond this, it is really important for her to both acknowledge the trauma of her experience while also honoring how great she did. She didn't give in to everything. She was strong and in control, and ultimately, she birthed her child safely. In those circumstances, that is a lot to be proud of.

this may be only a small beginning, but she can take some fo the pressure off of herself. she was brutally and wrongfully treated--a lawyer will be able to help with this--but overall, she did a great job of birthing her child safely and doing her best to take care of herself.

and again, in those circumstances, that's a lot to be proud of!
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#66 of 138 Old 04-01-2008, 11:58 AM
 
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When a doctor touches you against your will (like when you are saying, "STOP" over and over again, such as in this case), it is assault and battery. That is a criminal offense and she should not get away with it, ESPECIALLY since this mama is lucky she didn't die!

My prayers are with that family. I hope that they can find peace and comfort, despite this horrible situation. YOU DID NOTHING WRONG and you did NOT fail! Best wishes to you and your new, precious, strong little one.
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#67 of 138 Old 04-01-2008, 12:09 PM
 
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I am so sorry! I feel sick at what was done to you.

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#68 of 138 Old 04-01-2008, 12:23 PM
 
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#69 of 138 Old 04-01-2008, 12:35 PM
 
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That is so awful. I will keep her in my thoughts.

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#70 of 138 Old 04-01-2008, 01:37 PM
 
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Many prayers for your friend. How terrifying.
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#71 of 138 Old 04-01-2008, 01:49 PM
 
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#72 of 138 Old 04-01-2008, 02:09 PM
 
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If this poor brave mama can sue this 'doctor' then that is a clear message that women DO matter and this behaviour will not be tolerated or at least challenged. I am not a sue-happy person at times believe it totally necessary, but as Fyrestorm says mama should try get someone to go get her files asap cos they will try and cover up. I agree with the pp who says this IS a CRIMINAL offence, just cos it was done to a woman in labour should not make it any less serious, but of course it does, cos women don't matter. Imo, because women are invisible to a lot of people in everyday life, they talk over us, at us, especially women who buck the system, because we are treated like 2nd class citizens this sort of treatment just continues unabated. At our most vulnerable( but also strongest), giving birth, it's a perfect opportunity for certain people to try and assert total control over us, this often escalates to physical violence in the birth room, often. I also believe many humans are just disgusted and fearful of the the birth process in general. I've experienced this first-hand, it is punishment. What woman would pull her own placenta out and with such force as to rip out her uterus, the spirit of a womans body imo, that incredible part of us that grows and nourishes babies? I feel there is often a malicious intent behind a lot of actions like that, people just think I'm paranoid, anything but admit what really goes down, head in the sand,this doctor must have known that there was a good chance of this occurring and yet didn't stop, even after being told to repeatedly,she continued with such force as to seriously damage this mama, that's intent and they can easily hide behind the doc is god thing every.last.time until someone sues them for good reason. I read tons of comments from people who 'think' moms should 'shut up and put up', they've got a healthy baby, they should be grateful, more silencing of women, more abuse ignored, it's collabaration. The utter violence of the action is enough to know that is not a good idea, I s'pose tho if you have absolutely no respect for women's bodies and feel like you need to make a statement about women taking back the power of their own bodies or even just think you have a god-given right to do what you want cos you are a doctor in a medical setting there is plenty unsavoury actions being carried out daily by these persons. I don't for one minute believe she could have thought she was doing the right thing, this doc was unhinged and gripped by pure misogyny imo. And that is the punishment, to make women suffer. I've experienced the wrath of the medics before my UC's. Not pleasant people a lot of them, so vindictive and sly and not at all enlightened (not all I'm sure but there is always one and that's all it takes) plus any who are reasonable are bound to the law that says women are not to be trusted especially with their own bodies and minds. Ignorance is no excuse, this is an 'educated' person who did this, I fear for this world, I fear for my dd's. Hoping very hard this mama can heal from this assault and as the pp's say this mama in no way failed, she totally was in tune with her body and really knew her stuff. I don't think I'd have been that together. Hope mama and babe are getting back together, wishing healing their way.
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#73 of 138 Old 04-01-2008, 03:00 PM
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i tried to post earlier, but i do not see it. so, i'll assume it got eaten.

first, legal councel will help this mother figure out the right process to hold everyone responsible for their actions.

but second, and more important than that, i would let to tell this momma that she did not fail at all. this is not a failed UC. it is a UC with a transfer. language helps!

with this, she should be *extremely* proud that she safely birthed her baby in spite of the mania.

she should also be extremely proud that she worked so hard to defend herself (she did a good job of vocalizing against the doctor, etc).

she was horribly treated by a doctor--none of this was her active doing. she did great; the doctor did not.

also pass along my congratulations to her for an amazing (albeit trying and crazy in many ways) and safe birth for her daughter, her amazing strength, and of course, for the new addition to her family that all will enjoy for many years to come, long after this situation has been resolved (internally and externally).
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#74 of 138 Old 04-01-2008, 03:20 PM
 
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O. M. G. I am so sorry mama!

DS - 5! - adopted at birth after infertility, IUI, and IVF; DD - 4! - surprise pregnancy discovered when DS was 8 months old ; Hoping for another soon (actively TTC ~ 2 years)
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#75 of 138 Old 04-01-2008, 03:28 PM
 
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I just...can only barely scrape the surface of imagining what this mama is going through. I too am not normally a sueing person, but something like this....you better belive it. I pray she will recover and find peace as she does.

And I agree with Zoebird.....she fought and fought and had the presence of mind to do what she could. She is NOT and never was a failure...she is a beautiful strong mama who was very much a victim of the establishment.

To the OP, if she's ever feeling up to it at some point, maybe print out the love and support she's recieved here...maybe it might help in some small tiny way to see that she is NOT a failure!

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#76 of 138 Old 04-01-2008, 03:55 PM
 
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Oh my gosh. How horrible! Many prayers for your friend.

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#77 of 138 Old 04-01-2008, 03:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by forthebest View Post
Imo, because women are invisible to a lot of people in everyday life, they talk over us, at us, especially women who buck the system, because we are treated like 2nd class citizens this sort of treatment just continues unabated. At our most vulnerable( but also strongest), giving birth, it's a perfect opportunity for certain people to try and assert total control over us,
I think it has less to do with women being "second-class" and more to do with the current climate of "fetus rights." Doctors and lawmakers have begun to slowly chip away at pregnant women's rights in the name of the rights of the fetus. And it's clearly to the point now that they can do nearly anything to a pg woman "to save the fetus."

In this case, the baby was already out, so she can't claim to have done it as a life-saving measure. We've already contacted some lawyers on her behalf to test the strength of the case. Part of the problem is that mom and baby both survived, and since having lived is the golden standard at the hospital, they will be hard-pressed to push emotional and long-term effects. But she has witnesses, and the gruesome nature of this situation may just be enough to impress any layperson.

I have also encouraged her to contact the media. I think the media is our best ally right now, since the system is locked up tight in favor of the medicos.

She does appreciate all the thoughts and prayers on her behalf. She seems to have a clear head about all this despite what she's gone through. We have all taken great pains to reassure her she did NOTHING wrong. And I think she is realizing this, but she may still suffer the "what-ifs" for a long long time. In fact, she will just plain suffer for a long long time.

Keep those encouraging words coming ladies.

Emily
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#78 of 138 Old 04-01-2008, 04:08 PM
 
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Much healing and love to this mama; may her babymoon be a salve to her assault.
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#79 of 138 Old 04-01-2008, 04:16 PM
 
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Omigosh, I didn't even know such an awful thing was possible. Ugh, I feel just terribly for your friend. I do hope she gets some kind of compensation, though nothing will make up for what was taken from her. Ugh, I just don't have any words... :cry

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#80 of 138 Old 04-01-2008, 04:30 PM
 
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praying!:

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#81 of 138 Old 04-01-2008, 05:35 PM
 
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I wanted to add that no matter what labels you use, in my book you (this mama) are amazing. I think that you handled your labor wonderfully, knew what you needed to do to get the baby out safely. I think that your husband was also wonderful, a true knight in shiny armor standing at your side helping you with your decisions.

I hope that you call a lawyer, as what you have told us here is abuse. I'm very sad that this happened to you, but please don't be silent about it. Tell whom ever will listen. I am a firm believer that when something bad happens to you, it's your obligation to speak up- so that this kind of thing doesn't happen again. Or at least that's the hope.

I don't think, and I'm obviously not alone here, that you failed your UC. Sounds to me that you succeced in your accomplishment. What failed in this situation was this one doctor. The doctor, who shouldn't have been your doctor anyway, was negligent in her duty's. She didn't listen to her patient, and as a result of her abuse she injured you. That in no way was your "failure", and I hope you make a big stink about this kind of treatment.

Hugs, Healing Vibes, and Congratulations on a healthy baby! Yeah for a new baby!

Married to Michael and Mother of Jake 9, Jillianne 7, Jensen 5, Jacen 4. I've got severe osteoporosis, a fractured hip and chronic pain-so please be patient with me! Pagan,Crocheter,Reader,Homeschooler- that's me in a nutshell.

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#82 of 138 Old 04-01-2008, 06:26 PM
 
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I cannot emphasize this enough.

Have her get a copy of both charts, mom's and baby's. Now. Before they gets altered, if they haven't been already. Her DH can do it on her behalf, if she's not up to it. All they have to do is write that there was a spontaneous uterine inversion with no cord traction, and there will be very little basis for a lawsuit.

Charts get altered after the fact, all the time. Have her get a copy of the charts.
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#83 of 138 Old 04-01-2008, 07:53 PM
 
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This is all so sad. Thinking of them all.
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#84 of 138 Old 04-01-2008, 07:55 PM
 
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What a horrifying and sad thing to read. Thanks to her for sharing despite how difficult it must have been to write that all out.

All of my best wishes on her path to healing.....
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#85 of 138 Old 04-01-2008, 08:00 PM
 
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I'm praying for peace and healing for this family

It's hard to cuddle the new baby you've longed for and have the energy to be the rare, tough woman who forces through a complaint or demands legal recourse when she's been treated badly. I know I stumbled on that road and settled for an apology. I often pray that women will be stronger, louder and angrier, and force changes that benefit all mothers and babies. Please be one of those.
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#86 of 138 Old 04-01-2008, 08:01 PM
 
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I don't know where this happened, but has she considered filing a complaint with the police? It might not go anywhere but I think it's worth a try and if you bug them enough, the cops have no choice but to investigate. Regardless of them being a doctor, if you tell someone to STOP touching you and they don't, it's assault, rape, battery, mutilation or whatever the law calls it. You should find out the precise article of the criminal code about it and bring them to the police when the complaint is filed. Then you can threaten to sue the cops too if they don't do anything. That doctor needs to get arrested and thrown in jail.

This is a very disturbing story. I wish there was something I could do.

Single mom to E (2004) and D (2010)
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#87 of 138 Old 04-01-2008, 08:08 PM
 
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Hi mama,
Please feel free to have your friend PM if she wishes. I had a slightly different situation in that I had a planned vaginal hospital delivery with a CNM but my uterus was pulled out of my body too. I'd be happy to talk to her. It has been 2 years and I'm still dealing with lots of PTSD and effects from the inversion and reversion so she will certainly need lots of help through this!

Hugs to her!
Megan
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#88 of 138 Old 04-01-2008, 10:41 PM
 
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Has MDC verfied the facts of this story as shared by the OP? It is concerning to me that replies would be removed for user violations but the original post by someone revealing the personal account of an anonymous person is allowed to stand without any accountability. I don't see how this is any less a violation than it is to talk about the other member in this forum whose threads have been locked in the last day or two.
I second what Kris has said.:
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#89 of 138 Old 04-01-2008, 11:04 PM
 
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Get the records NOW. Get a lawyer and sue those people. There is no excuse for that.

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#90 of 138 Old 04-01-2008, 11:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Has MDC verfied the facts of this story as shared by the OP? It is concerning to me that replies would be removed for user violations but the original post by someone revealing the personal account of an anonymous person is allowed to stand without any accountability. I don't see how this is any less a violation than it is to talk about the other member in this forum whose threads have been locked in the last day or two.
Gee, thanks for your votes of confidence ladies. I got permission from her to share her story and ask for support, but I didn't think it would be very tactful to reveal her name or location until I knew where she stood in terms of public exposure.

Anyone who doubts the veracity of this story is more than welcomed to PM me for details re: name of family, hospital, and doctor involved.

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