UC with First baby? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 22 Old 04-05-2008, 01:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I haven't seen any stories of mamas who had a planned UC with their first child. If you're out there (I'm sure you are!) could you tell me about it? I would love to UC with my first but am slightly discouraged. I don't know if mamas just don't realize they are 'allowed' to UC until after they've given birth already or what. So...tell me about your firstborn's UC!
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#2 of 22 Old 04-05-2008, 01:28 PM
 
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Kat did. (Rajakat i think is her username) she's still got a pretty fresh babe (her 4th!) but she might be around.

wife to my awesome DH, homeschooling, unassisted birthing, food growing, life loving mama to 5 crazy monkeys. :
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#3 of 22 Old 04-05-2008, 03:34 PM
 
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I just wasn't open to it. I had my first with a lay mw in her bc - I could see the hospital from the porch. I felt "safe." I thought homebirthers were irresponsible. Then moments after birth, I wanted to go home and I realized what an idiot I was since I was basically just giving birth in someone else's home. Next 2 were at home and I had mws. I enjoyed my relationship with them. Good birth, no regrets. But this time I felt different from the start. I felt more private right from the beginning. I know I can give birth - I've done it 3 times - and I don't need anyone around watching me so we're ucing

I was staunchly in favor of midwifery and ncb from the beginning but I didn't "get" ucing. It has simply been part of my journey and this is where I am right now. I read in a book on the uc reading list - the name escapes me - that women should start their reading w/uc and progressively work their way through to homebirthing w/mws, then hospitals births, etc. Just keep reading until you reach your comfort zone. I, like most women I think, do it the opposite way except I skipped the hospital reading and went straight to midwifery. Anyway, I thought that was very interesting advice. I wish I had started with uc reading at least.
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#4 of 22 Old 04-05-2008, 03:53 PM
 
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There are about 5 or 6 first time birth UCs over at www.freebirth.com under the birth story link.

Best wishes!

Spark and her four firecrackers.
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#5 of 22 Old 04-05-2008, 08:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the great info everyone!
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#6 of 22 Old 04-05-2008, 09:25 PM
 
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my birthstory is posted here.

Mama to Raina (9/06) and Peter (8/09)!
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#7 of 22 Old 04-05-2008, 10:40 PM
 
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I will be UCing with my first in about 5 weeks. So far not even a single visit to a Dr. or midwife, so it looks like we'll be totally UP/UC.

Definitely don't be discouraged! If you aren't afraid, I don't see any reason to get that way. I'm very grateful to the UCers online and that I found this before ever having a managed birth. I hope I never have to have anything but UC's!

Good luck!
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#8 of 22 Old 04-05-2008, 11:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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erinbird-I found your birth story and it was beautiful. Thank you for sharing it! It really helped me confirm that I CAN uc

arcingpath- Good luck with your birth! Thanks so much for the encouragement. The internet will probably be my greatest resource if this is my chosen birth path.
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#9 of 22 Old 04-05-2008, 11:56 PM
 
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I know that I personally wasn't ready for UC with my first baby. I was still quite young and unsure of myself and needed to be "mothered" during pg and labor (and not by my own Mom as she had 3 very medicalized births.)

My first birth was a homebirth with a midwife and a doula. My 2nd birth was a homebirth with the same midwife but no doula, and I ended up laboring alone (except for my toddler) for all but the last hour or two, and I realized how little I needed the midwife after all. By my 3rd birth I was ready to go it alone.

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18, and Jack, 12
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#10 of 22 Old 04-06-2008, 12:13 AM
 
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: that you'll have at least two more examples in August. Both Zoebird and I are planning UCs with our firsts.
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#11 of 22 Old 04-06-2008, 12:23 AM
 
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I can't tell you about mine as it hasn't happened yet, but I can assure you that my first birth WILL be a UC. I wouldn't have it any other way, and I don't feel like I need to experience it once the wrong way to do it the right way just so I know the ropes. You CAN do it!

Newly single, chronically sleep deprived mama to my little wild thang wild.gif, born 11/17/12 

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#12 of 22 Old 04-06-2008, 01:57 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CAndMe View Post
I haven't seen any stories of mamas who had a planned UC with their first child. If you're out there (I'm sure you are!) could you tell me about it? I would love to UC with my first but am slightly discouraged. I don't know if mamas just don't realize they are 'allowed' to UC until after they've given birth already or what. So...tell me about your firstborn's UC!
If you are called to it, go for it.

That's all I wanted my whole life, and I thought I had discussed it with my husband, but it turned out he thought I was joking...so he begged me to have a midwife there (thinking that I would be leaning on HIM, not realizing that I was planning on leaning on myself only), and yeah, well, that was an enormous mistake. Because of that mistake future births of mine will be UBACs. (and hubby and I continue to work on our communication)

So if you're called to it, go for it.
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#13 of 22 Old 04-06-2008, 06:33 AM
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I might have a UC because there are no midwifes, birth centers or doulas where I live.

I can only try to read as much as possible about everything.

I would prefer to have a choice.

I also don't read too many stories about first time UC without transfers and its a worry.
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#14 of 22 Old 04-06-2008, 09:54 AM
 
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mine would have been ( he was due more than 2 weeks before my 18th bday, born 2 days later)

i was threatened by my dad, who also threatened my mom that hed call cps if she didnt force me to a dr and all. : : (i didnt go until 28 weeks. i was doing self care, even checking my sugar every day, and resting as well as at every meal! but of course drs know best, and will prevent something being wrong : and i was a stupid ignorant teen!)

we (my son and i) were alone in a house without my mom the last week... i wished so badly id go into labor, i would have just stayed. i kept having feelings like he was supposed to come out, and after a lot of thought and prayer, the day after my bday, i called the hospital and went to be induced.

i did resist them trying to force an epidural on me (to the extent of setting the bloody thing up while i went to the bathroom. : and the anesthesiologist asking me repeatedly if i was sure, and that id be begging for him later (then a couple hours later is when they set it up...and right before i went, they asked me what my pain was, and i said 2 or 3....where did they get the idea i wanted/needed it? wtf? and id been in labor for almost 11 hours by then.)

oh...and i got screamed at, the door banged on and dragged out of the bathroom and put on the bed. i was just going to have him in the bathroom!
and apparently they figured that out. :sigh:
it made it a lot more rough and painful than it needed to be, all the noise and fussing and forcing things. with my second, i was alone for the birth and had quiet when i needed it (contractions- i got my brother and son who were talking to me some (my son nursed and stuff right at the end as well.) to be quiet when i was having them, and was fine.) and was able to go inside myself to have my peace like i had been doing until they did what they did to me.

anyway..so thats why his birth wasnt a uc unfortunately.
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#15 of 22 Old 04-06-2008, 11:40 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I know that I want to UC and dp has said that he would love to as long as he had the time to educate himself as much as possible. My fear is that as a first-timer I wouldn't be able to recognize it if something was wrong. Or that something 'normal' would seem wrong to me and I'd rush to the hospital and end up being cut open for no good reason. At the same time, I trust my partner to be there for me as well as my body to know what to do. It really helps to read birth stories for first babies that went well.
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#16 of 22 Old 04-06-2008, 01:11 PM
 
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I had all three of my children at home and they were planned unattended births. I am so glad that I made the choice to UC from the start or I may never have known the joy of a safe, gentle birth. Since, two of my three children were born breech, I would have been sectioned every time with my history. Instead, they were all UCed during great birth experiences and safely. I always say that UC isn't just for the experienced or lucky, it is for first time moms, too.
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#17 of 22 Old 04-06-2008, 05:31 PM
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As saphy said, i'm going to UC my first this year! yay!

I know that I want to UC and dp has said that he would love to as long as he had the time to educate himself as much as possible.

how long does he feel that he needs? how long do you feel that you need? it's good to think in these terms.

people do need different amounts of time to figure things out. knowing how much time you need can help.

My fear is that as a first-timer I wouldn't be able to recognize it if something was wrong.

i think that this is a common fear. but, also notice that you wrote that you trust your body to know what to do. so, that goes with this. if your body needs help (something is wrong), then it will let you know, and you'll know what to do.

also, you might find that you're drawn to certain things to study. not just birth stories or what not, but that perhaps you find that you need to learn about a certain thing about birth--to learn a lot about it. i think that the spirit and body wisdom can guide this process.

so, you face your fear and you work through it. see what the fear is. see how it works. see what you need to know and think and feel to be secure.

and then you'll feel secure.

Or that something 'normal' would seem wrong to me and I'd rush to the hospital and end up being cut open for no good reason.

for a time, i noticed a large number of first time mothers who were also UCing make the rush to the hospital because they needed emotional support.

a lot of women on this thread have talked about this--how they needed a particular amount of support during their births.

for some people, this means medical support, for others, family members or friends are the right route. neither route is wrong or bad.

if you think/feel that you need more emotional support than you can provide yourself or that your partner can provide for you (for whatever reason), that's cool.

get the support you need.

many of the transfers where the birth is vaginal, basically intervention free for first-time mothers who tried to UC got the support that they needed. and it was a great birth for them.

and perhaps they UC later, or perhaps they have a midwife present, or perhaps they decide to invite friends and family.

everyone has their own way. UC isn't the end all and be all. so, you know, if you think you want or need that support, then there's nothing wrong with that.

and if you think you don't and discover that you do (could be me!), then there's no problem in seeking that support from someone.

At the same time, I trust my partner to be there for me as well as my body to know what to do.

i think you just have to find your balance. I often think of UC as a journey, not a destination. by simply engaging the ideas, and acting out of self knowledge rather than fear, you can make the right and best decision for yourself.

we can look at amazing women here, like Laurata who has said that she will not UC for personal reasons, and RMBZM who went through a lot of thought and struggle to avoid c-section and have a UC, but today has decided to 'go in' for help because of health reasons.

to me, the UC isn't as important as the procss of discovering--from the internal self, from the point of self-knowledge--what is absolutely right for you.

for many women on these boards they are taking these ideas of empowerment, self knowledge, and self reliance, and then applying those elements to their unique circumstances.

this may mean hiring a midwife, or inviting a trusted friend, or going to a hospital, or any number of combinations of things that are helpful and vibrant to you.

so, you are thinking about a UC and i encourage that. But for me, thinking about it, engaging the idea fully, that is where the success is. whether or not one has a UC, the success is in being self reliant and choosing exactly what is right and necessary for you.

that may be UC, it may not be. but it will be right.

It really helps to read birth stories for first babies that went well.

i agree. i think that there are a number of them on laura shanley's website: unassistedchildbirth.com. she has a lot of birth stories on there--all kinds.

personally, i also find it informative to read all kinds of birth stories, because then i get a good picture of all sorts of circumstnaces and, in a way, "what to expect." of course, that means "expect the unexpected!" a lot of the time!

but it helps me to read as many birth stories as i can, because i learn from the strength and diversity of mothers--all kinds.

though, i do find that, when i'm feeling a little nervous or scared or something, i look into that, but i also reassure myself with those stories that just went so well.
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#18 of 22 Old 04-07-2008, 05:43 PM
 
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I grew up believing hospitals are where babies are born end of story. I guess I probably had heard about crunchy hippy granola types (of which I'm now considered by many IRL lol) having homebirths w/MW's but never about UC unless it was an accident like in the car on the way to the hospital. When I got to college and started getting to know real people, normal people, that had actually homebirthed is when I guess I started realizing that was a better option for me since I was so anti western medical model by then. Then last year when my twin soul babies started showing up more regularly and told me their names, etc I started researching home birth for twins. I found out homebirth w/MW's is illegal where I live, but do know of a MW who does some underground work. At the same time, I started reading all the UC birth stories I could find and realized that I'm so healthy, trusting of the process and my body and my support people that I'd UC no matter what, well unless I got intuition that I needed outside help that is, but that's a given...
So I haven't had any babes yet, but when I do, they'll be UP/UC. I'm so glad I've been able to arrive here before any bad/traumatic experiences had to happen! And that I have the support of my best friend and my DP. They both know and trust in me, the process and my body too so it's great to not have to do any convincing there.
Cheers,
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#19 of 22 Old 04-07-2008, 05:52 PM
 
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i have not had a uc but just wanted to mention - (and i know a lot of moms on here would disagree) I personally would not be comfortable having a baby esp. a UC birth without at least ONE u/s. make sure there are no obvious defects (which was our problem) and to check placenta placement and for breech presentation.

now of course u/s can be wrong but that way you have some information to keep in mind for the birth and you have a heads up of something like a possible breech.

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#20 of 22 Old 04-07-2008, 06:37 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by onyxravnos View Post
just wanted to mention - (and i know a lot of moms on here would disagree) I personally would not be comfortable having a baby ...without at least ONE u/s...
Yep, stepping right up to disagree. I'd agree with you if even one study had shown a benefit to routine u/s, but every bit of good information we have to date says it doesn't have a benefit.

NON-routine ultrasound (for measuring big, or preterm labor, or bleeding, or another indication) has been shown to be beneficial. But not routine ultrasound.

eta: Placenta placement can be detected by palpation. Breech is normal.
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#21 of 22 Old 04-07-2008, 07:25 PM
 
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If I had known about UC when I had my first I would have gone for it without a doubt. I just thought that a UC was just something that happened by accident and you were taken to the hospital by ambulance after. There were no midwives in our area so I had no option but a doctor I thought. At least it wasn't bad as hospital birth can go and I got to have an awesome UC for my next DS. Only you know if a UC is right for you.

Wife to DH, Mom to my Intact Boys DS1: Born 02 Pain Med Free Hospital Birth, BF'ed for 9 Months, Partially Vax'd DS2: Born 06 via UC, BF'ed 3 years 10 months, and UnVax'd
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#22 of 22 Old 04-08-2008, 03:50 PM
 
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i uced my first recently. im gald i did, i wouldnt have it any other way. my family disagrees, lol, but it was the way my son needed to be born for many reasons.
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