One thing you wish you knew before you UCed - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

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#91 of 111 Old 06-21-2008, 06:52 PM
 
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That DD had a nuchal foot LOL! It resulted in a hospital transfer and emerg-C..but whatever. It all came out good. I loved UCing...very liberating and awesome. And I LOVED being at home with my hubby and awesome doula. I wouldn't change a thing. I was able to relax/walk/eat/drink whatever and do whatever I wanted. Had it been summer out I woulda had the birth pool in the yard .... however a northern British Columbia November prevents that. LOL.
Get as much info as you can from the ladies on here...it really is invaluable. And when the time comes...feel the power and enjoy it.
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#92 of 111 Old 06-21-2008, 07:17 PM
 
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re: waterbirth- i think it would be wise to see how your body feels with/ out water. i had 2 land births and one waterbirth and water didnt make much of a difference. i mean, for me, it didnt lessen the pain AT ALL. it was nice for clean up. there were also big drawbacks because i was freezing to death afterwards, even though the aquadoula was at the 'right' temp.

Hi, I'm Tabitha. I'm a homeschooling mother of four: ds (11) dd (9) ds (7) ds (5) And I'm expecting a fifth in 2014! Find me at http://www.omelay.blogspot.com
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#93 of 111 Old 06-22-2008, 12:36 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Collinsky View Post
With my first, I wish I'd known that even if I felt totally confident and prepared, I could still freak out during transition. I was totally unprepared to feel any worry, and completely ignorant of how a small worry can snowball out of control when you're in labor. snip....... That even women who know "everything" about birth and are completely confident can feel afraid and might need reassurance in transition. We were both totally unprepared for that....... snip.....
yes I could have written this statement myself- this was one of my most unsettling discoveries ---with our first home birth, I labored alone and caught our baby so was not expecting any fears at all-
with our 4th baby 1st UC at a certain point in labor I could not process what I was hearing with the fetalscope - so it was basically useless for me to use one but made that little bit of fear I did not need
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#94 of 111 Old 06-22-2008, 12:58 AM
 
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*

~ Colleen ~ Joyful Unschooling Pagan mama to hearts.gifenergy.gifsuperhero.gifjog.gif and babyf.gif
"When I'm sad, I stop being sad and be AWESOME instead."
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#95 of 111 Old 06-22-2008, 01:04 AM
 
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Originally Posted by mwherbs View Post
yes I could have written this statement myself- this was one of my most unsettling discoveries ---with our first home birth, I labored alone and caught our baby so was not expecting any fears at all-
with our 4th baby 1st UC at a certain point in labor I could not process what I was hearing with the fetalscope - so it was basically useless for me to use one but made that little bit of fear I did not need
That reminds me... I wish I had known not to decide to check my cervix in labor. I had not checked it during my pregnancy, so I had no idea what I was doing. Ended up contributing to my freak out. I say: resist the urge to "check" anything with anything! No monitoring of ANY kind. And cover all clocks with blankets. I'm going to go out on a limb and say do this even if you are a midwife with years of experience checking cervices and clock watching and the like... because with years of experience the one thing I hope you'd get is that none of that really tells you ANYTHING USEFUL. The more you learn, the more you find out you don't need to "know" anything at all.

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and considering I'm a grieving mother, appreciate every single scream, spit up, poop, sleepless nights. matter of perspective.

give your babies extra hugs for me.
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is it truly? I'm scared I'll tear because no one is there to massage me? is that true?
From what I've read, laboring and birthing in water helps reduce the likelihood of tearing.

Perineal massage has had mixed reviews in that respect. No experience with it, we never did massage - so again: it's just what I've read.

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#96 of 111 Old 06-22-2008, 09:06 AM
 
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is it truly? I'm scared I'll tear because no one is there to massage me? is that true?
My experience is that waterbirth helped me NOT tear both times ...
but like the other poster mentioned, it would be a good idea to have the water available but not necessarily count on it as the saving grace ... you may find it isn't helping or you don't want to be in water. I plan to have some other alternatives in addition to water as my pain relief ... last two times it was my liquid epidural (LOL) but my last birth I was almost too dependent on the water ... I didn't want to get out until I got out w/ babe in arms. I didn't have the urge to pee and had forgotten to have my DH or kids suggest it so I think that held things up ... plus his nuchal cord and hand slowed things a bit. Anyway, water can give such wonderful relief but for some women, it's just not what they want or need at the time. So have the option but don't plan for ONLY that option. KWIM?
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#97 of 111 Old 06-22-2008, 11:54 AM
 
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Ditto to the water birth idea. I had a lovely birthing pool set up for my first birth and pretty much couldn't stand being in the water! I was completely dismayed, as I had been envisioning for months my perfect waterbirth. It didn't happen that way at all.

However, I spent a fair amount of time in the shower and bathtub with baby #2 and it was wonderful. Just more encouragement to trust your body--each birth is different, even from moment-to-moment. Do what feels right at any given time.
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#98 of 111 Old 06-22-2008, 05:44 PM
 
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Water made a big difference for me btwn my first and second births. I was at the hospital with the first, and even though the m/w was massaging my perineum, I still ended up with a 2nd degree tear. That could have been partly due to pushing on command, not when I felt the need (I had an epidural). With my second, I birthed at home in a pool, and I ended up with only a skidmark. It was a super quick labor (2 hours) too.

Mom to DD#1 8/04, nursed 43 months, DD#2 8/06, nursed 21 months and DD#3 9/08, still nursing strong
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#99 of 111 Old 06-26-2008, 07:50 PM
 
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About waterbirth. I have not had one, but when I was younger, I had cramps - sometimes pretty bad - and the only thing that made them tolerable was to stay in a hot tub. So, I'm thinking that for me a water birth would be good. Or water labor. I've heard that water births reduce the chance of tearing. I've also heard gently breathing instead of pushing (the pushing you can control) lessens the chances of tearing. And taking oil supplements like fish oil or flaxseed oil couldn't hurt, I think. They make my skin more supple, etc. Only you can decide if that might work for you, though.

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is it truly? I'm scared I'll tear because no one is there to massage me? is that true?
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#100 of 111 Old 08-14-2008, 03:48 PM
 
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Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#101 of 111 Old 08-14-2008, 07:45 PM
 
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I wish I'd known that pushing works a lot better when you have something to push against. I pushed for a long time leaning on a pile of pillows because I was too exhausted to move. 'A long time' being *hours* btw. Someone came over to reassure h & got me to move to a different position & suggested that I pull on h's hands as I pushed. It went sooo much quicker & easier. I wish I'd been able to think to push differently, it wouldn't have taken nearly so long.

I wish I'd known to make sure h covered the *whole* bed with plastic, not just the place he thought I'd be. I ended up giving birth where there wasn't any plastic under me & everything was stained, right down to the mattress (no sad loss about the mattress, actually, it was falling apart & we just hadn't replaced it because of finances)

I wish I'd known sooner that practically doing a backbend would get my baby unstuck. Hands & knees actually made it worse, for us. I'm guessing he was stuck more towards the top of my pelvis, so gravity in hands & knees was just moving him even more into the wrong position.

I wish I'd known how exhausted all of us would be after & had something ready to just throw in the oven to eat. We ended up having microwaved canned chili about 3 hours after ds2 was born.

I wish I'd been ready for the birth earlier. I planned to buy my supplies about 38 weeks, because that would give me lots of time. Ds decided to come 5 days before we had the money for supplies, at 37 weeks. We didn't even have diapers. Kind of funny though, h & I have both considered buying diapers already this time.

I wish I'd let ds1 take more pictures. I got really annoyed with him & made him stop. I have a couple crowning pictures and one after ds2 is born. (yes, my almost 4 year old was my birth photographer he did awesome too, he was just distracting) I have no pictures of the either of my children at seconds old & it makes me kind of sad.

I'm sure there's more, but I can't think what right now.

mom to all boys B: 08/01ribboncesarean.gif,  C: 07/05 uc.jpg, N: 03/09 uc.jpg, M: 01/12 uc.jpg and far too many lost onesintactlact.gifsaynovax.gif

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#102 of 111 Old 08-14-2008, 10:15 PM
 
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I wish I had known how much I wanted my Mommy there
and how much I hated having my husband there :
I could have slapped the man on a few occasions!

I wish I had known to check to see if the baby was posterior. My labor was so long and I had a 5 hour long transition because I was laying on my side with a posterior baby. As soon as I figured that out and sat on the toilet, I started pushing about 10 minutes later. I don't EVER want 21 hours of back labor again!

And I wish I had remembered to breathe the baby out. I was so excited to see her and the pushing felt so wonderful that I heaved and heaved that child out as fast as I possibly could. I couldn't wait to hold her! I ended up with a bad 2nd degree tear that needed several stitches. Ouch!

Mama to a bright 5 y/o girl dust.gif and a beautiful boy born 03/10/12 fly-by-nursing1.gif Loving unschooling, 2xuc.jpgfamilybed2.gif ecbaby2.gifand natural living in Hawaii.rainbow1284.gif
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#103 of 111 Old 08-18-2008, 12:46 AM
 
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Here's my list:

I wish I'd done more not to tear. Like pushing inbetween contractions, and using some lubricating oil, something. I wish I'd known that it takes some time for the perineum to stretch, even in a 2nd time mom like me, and to not freak out and think that something is wrong because the baby won't come out. I wish I had known that the contractions won't magically stop hurting when it is time to push (I read this somewhere and believed it, it is not true). I wish I'd tried changing positions to push sooner. I wish I'd have told my DP not to call everyone in the family so they wouldn't have shown up while the baby and I were still attached and the placenta wasn't even out yet (I agree with Laura that this caused a delay in it detaching). I wish I'd had everything ready sooner, since this is my 2nd baby that arrived before his due date!

 nak.gif Mommy to fencing.gifKai 2/03, hammer.gifCaden 1/08, energy.gif Kara 10/09, angel1.gif 3/21/13, &

rainbow1284.gif baby.gif  Cole 2/3/14 ♡ Happily unmarried to geek.gif Papa since 2002 ♡

~We may not have it all together  but together we have it all~ uc.jpgsaynovax.gifgoorganic.jpgintactivist.giflactivist.gif 

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#104 of 111 Old 08-18-2008, 02:12 PM
 
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I wish I'd had a fishy net for my water birth.

And, I'm glad that I was told that birth could be painless...and that it was.

Christian, homeschooling, military wife.  luxlove.gif

Mommy to 5 wonderful girls and a super baby boy.  

Expecting another sweet energy.gif late August. 

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#105 of 111 Old 08-18-2008, 06:16 PM
 
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I wish I would have made sure my mom/husband knew how to use the camera, including how to turn it onto night vision (I couldn't stand the lights on). My mom couldn't figure out if the camera was recording or not and the few videos she did get were too black to see much of anything. We did get a few good pictures, but not the video of the birth that I had wanted.

Jessika, wife to Turbo, mommy to Codi (12/04), Kayce (8/08), Colten (10/10), and a new little stork-suprise.gif coming 12/13 .

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#106 of 111 Old 08-19-2008, 07:52 PM
 
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I know I've mentioned some of these on threads before, but I'll share again.

I didn't hit a "transition" stage. I threw up and started doubting myself about 32 hours into my labor, but I still didn't have the baby for another 12 hours- and after that half hour of doubt, I was back into labor like I was before. Maybe I was at transition, but I was scared and put off having the baby for 12 hours. I don't know. It was a crazy time.

I'll be more prepared to listen to my body.
I haven't shared this much- mostly because I knew my parents would read my birth story and I didn't want to freak them out (as if I hadn't already ). During my 45 minute pushing stage, I would sometimes push when I wasn't having a contraction- it would induce another contraction. In my head, dialog was sounding like this, "Why am I pushing so much? I'm not having a contraction. Push anyway. Why am I pushing? Push anyway. I'm going to tear! Who cares? PUSH! But...but...but...I guess I'll push, but why am I pushing? Push There's no contraction! Why am I doing this?" Wow. I sound crazy, huh?
However, when BabyBonnet was born, her cord was white (she was pink and breathed immediately, so no worries) and many clumps of clots came out with the placenta- which came out within 10 minutes of the birth. I think my placenta detached before she was born (I did have a 44 hour labor) and I *knew* I was supposed to get her out, even though I didn't really know.

I'm glad I listened to my body- I probably really did need to get her out quickly at the end there, but there were some consequences to this: I did tear and I hadn't prepared myself for that because I figured, "I'll listen to my body, push with my contractions, so the chances of tearing will be lessened." So I didn't prepare for tears. We called around to midwives, but none wanted to walk into an unfamiliar situation, so I went to the hospital for stitches- which I've since read about how to care for at home, so I'll do that in the future.

I am SO GLAD that BabyBonnet stayed with McKay and I went to the hospital with a friend- it shortened the length of my stay there. BabyBonnet and McKay came up to see me as visitors so I could nurse her. Best decision ever.

I'll eat and drink more. I was trying to stay hydrated, but I wasn't really doing that great of a job.

And I'll be more prepared to taking care of tears. I've got a copy of MamaMango's guide on my computer. I'll pay more attention to that part.

Also, this isn't necessarily UC related, but I was still bleeding at 10 weeks PP. Nothing was wrong, but I kind of felt like I wasn't as good as other women- I wasn't healed and being intimate with my husband at 6 weeks and I felt like I was a failure because I wasn't healing. With a lot of the UC stories, people kept on writing that they were fully healed by 2 weeks and stuff and I couldn't see why it was taking me longer. It may have been the placental issues. I don't know. I didn't tell many people about this because I was afraid that mainstream people would be, "Well, it's because you didn't do it in a hospital," and UC people would be like, "Well, you didn't drink your RRL and I healed in 2 hours, what's wrong with you?"

Ugh. Early motherhood can be a really vulnerable time.

But I love my UC. I did what my body said to do and that's what's great. I really felt like I had passed the test into womanhood- and I was elated. It's powerful to become a mother on your own accord.

Mommy to DD March 2008, DS July 2010
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#107 of 111 Old 08-20-2008, 01:12 PM
 
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I wish DH and I both knew infant recessitation... didn't need it but that is one of my fears during childbirth.
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#108 of 111 Old 09-08-2008, 07:21 AM
 
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Have stuff on hand to bake. Like cinnamon rolls, yum. Don't get in the birth tub until you can no longer bake the cinnamon rolls.
Too funny. I kind of did this. I hadn't planned a UC, but my first twin arrived as an unplanned UC. I was supposed to make dinner for a friend who had just had a baby, so when my water broke, I tried to hurry and make my friend's dinner. I got it all done just about the time my labor intensified, so it wasn't long after I needed to get into the tub. Unfortunately, I couldn't enjoy any of that yummy stuff myself.
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#109 of 111 Old 09-08-2008, 07:00 PM
 
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I wish I had known how important it was to exercise regularly during pregnancy. I kind of pooh-poohd it off because I've always been very thin without having to exercise. When it came time to labor, I was so out of shape and breathless and miserable.

#1 on my list next time is to work out every day during my pregnancy as much as is healthy for me to do so. I don't EVER want to do that again. It was like running a marathon after sitting on my but for 27 years.

Mama to a bright 5 y/o girl dust.gif and a beautiful boy born 03/10/12 fly-by-nursing1.gif Loving unschooling, 2xuc.jpgfamilybed2.gif ecbaby2.gifand natural living in Hawaii.rainbow1284.gif
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#110 of 111 Old 09-08-2008, 07:58 PM
 
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I haven't read this thread but have it bookmarked to read during my next pregnancy!

My UC was just about perfect. The only thing I wish I would have done differently is not squatted for the last entire 2 hours of labor- my legs were DEAD afterwards. Like, they wouldn't work at all- for hours! I couldn't even get up over the bowl to deliver the placenta. I had to crawl for more than 2 days. It was ridiculous. Next time, I'll change positions more, and not rely on my leg muscles to hold me up for hours!

North Idaho rural living  mama to: 23 yo DD, 16 yo DS, 8 yo DS, 6 yo DS, 4 yr old DS, 2 yo DD, and 1 yo DS. And someone new coming this Christmas!
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#111 of 111 Old 09-15-2008, 01:52 PM
 
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That I should've been reading up on stopping contractions not starting them.

If I'd been able to rest until 3-4cm dilation, might've had a UC.
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