UC ruined by nosy neighbor *update #56, #74, #134, #160, #204, #219(long)* - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 305 Old 07-09-2008, 11:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Sunday night, at 6:08pm, I gave birth to a big beautiful baby girl with the help of my husband. She came out nice and pink, crying, kicking and hungry! She latched on about ten minutes after birth, and fed for almost 2 hours. She was sleeping in my arms and I felt tired, but very accomplished. We felt very proud of ourselves and how well everything turned out.

Then dh looked out the window.

He commented that there were some cops and an ambulance outside. It was for us. Someone had called them. DH let them in, and the paramedics rushed in like there was some big emergency. I was sitting on the bed with baby in arms, very relaxed. They were surprised I was so calm. I told them I had given birth over two hours ago, and I was fine and so was the baby. They said they wanted to take us to the hospital to get checked up and make sure we were ok. We went in the ambulance and went to the hospital. From there it just turned into a whole circus. Like..OMGZ you gave birth at home...what were you thinking? I got the whole line about how this was a "nonsterile" birth and how they would have to check the baby to make sure she was ok. I told them she was fine, and they could see for themselves. They measured her and took her prints, and saw that she was fine. The ped came down and also started the bs about unsterile birth and the baby could be septic and they would have to do tests and stuff. I asked her what they were going to do and she got pissy that I was asking questions. She said they were going to take her upstairs for tests and observation. So they took her upstairs.

After that, a social worker arrived from emergency services. He told me he was there because someone had called about us. They thought we were having a domestic dispute and that since I was pregnant, my "screaming" was my dh hurting me. Never mind that my husband was talking normally to me during birth, and my screaming was clearing a pregnant woman giving birth. So now my husband is a wife beater. He went and talked to my husband, then went up to see the baby.

Afterwards, I find out that they are going to leave the baby in the NICU for FIVE days for an antibiotic treatment and tests and other bs.

I'm so tired, angry, in pain, everything at once. Oh, did I mention that I don't have insurance, since I was denied by both the govt (while pregnant) and private insurance companies. So I'm supposed to pay a $1500 deposit for a hospitalization I never asked for plus whatever extra may come up, like my stay in the ER where I wasn't even examined by a doctor. This hospital is so incompetent, they don't even know how to fill out the papers for the b/c, since I gave birth at home and they don't know what to put in the information for me. I swear, you would think I'm the only woman to ever have given birth at home and walked into their hospital.

I'm going to talk to the Procurator for the Patient tomorrow. I talked to my chiro (who gave birth at home) and said this was all total bs and recommended me her lawyer if I didn't find one myself. I hope the procurator can help. I want my baby home, the way I planned to. I miss her so bad. :cry

Thanks for reading and letting me get this off my chest. Any suggestions would be nice, and hugs are greatly appreciated.

Equuskia in with Nodtveidt DD1 : DD2 :
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#2 of 305 Old 07-09-2008, 11:15 PM
 
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That sounds horribly traumatic I hope that things blow over soon and you can get back to snuggling and enjoying your little daughter. '

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ribboncesarean.gif vbac.gifhomebirth.jpg I have given birth a variety of ways and I am thankful for what each one has taught me.

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#3 of 305 Old 07-09-2008, 11:16 PM
 
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I'm sorry. i hope you get your baby back safe and sound in your arms soon.

congratulations on her birth!: :
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#4 of 305 Old 07-09-2008, 11:18 PM
 
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Oh my gosh, I'm so so sorry this happened to you

I have no advice, but I couldn't read this and not respond.

Congratulations on your sweet baby girl, and I'm so sorry you're not having a quiet, peaceful, private babymoon
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#5 of 305 Old 07-09-2008, 11:18 PM
 
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$hoot!

that is terrible! i'm so sorry you were abused that way.
can't you just take your baby and run?
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#6 of 305 Old 07-09-2008, 11:20 PM
 
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How awful for you and your sweet babe Are you able to nurse your little one during her forced confinement in the NICU? Any possibility of leaving AMA?
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#7 of 305 Old 07-09-2008, 11:34 PM
 
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Congrats on your UC!
I would've told the paramedics to get the hell out of my house but that's just me.

Mama to DS (3/7/06)om.gif, DSD  hearts.gif(11/17/02), DD (1/16/08 )energy.gif ,  DS2 (5/30/10) sleepytime.gif and Baby Quinn angel.gif (R.I.P 3/22/13)

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#8 of 305 Old 07-09-2008, 11:37 PM
 
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Can you go to the hospital and tell them that you do not consent to treatment and you want your baby back now. You are the parent and there is nothing wrong with your child.

I would do that right away and I think they have no legal grounds for keeping your child there. I'd go with your carseat and refuse to leave without your baby. You are not in any way threatened by child protective services, you have parental rights and so you should be able to have your baby discharged.

I think frankly you should have refused the ambulance. I am sorry that you are experiencing this. I think you should request a discharge immediately and ask to speak right away with any doctor who would attempt to prevent that. It may take an hour or more to get all the paperwork and stuff done for discharge, it takes a while but you should be able to go in and get that going and be able to leave with your baby within an hour or two. I'd call the NICU, tell them you are coming and you want your baby discharged and to start preparing for that.

I would get all the test results of anything they have done and find out what they say about your baby's health, but I'm going to assume that everything is perfectly fine. If they have no proof that your baby is in immediate danger, you go in and get your baby. I would contact your pediatrician and have them back you up, you can follow up with your pediatrician at an office visit.

Good luck and hugs. You are in my thoughts.
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#9 of 305 Old 07-09-2008, 11:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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How awful for you and your sweet babe Are you able to nurse your little one during her forced confinement in the NICU? Any possibility of leaving AMA?
The ped had said I couldn't nurse her because they were going to clean her stomach and couldn't consume liquids. I asked for a supervisor after she left, and demanded unlimited access to my baby because she was breastfed. The supervisor assured me there wouldn't be a problem, and there hasn't been. She apparently chewed the ped a new one, because now she's as sweet as pie to me. I breastfeed her and leave milk as well so I can come home and sort of rest, since there is no place to rest on the maternity floor. All the nurses begged me to leave her some milk and rest at home at least at night, because they didn't want me to get sick, since the hospital is so damn cold, especially at night and I'm still freshly postpartum and exhausted. My hips and pelvis hurt sooo bad. I desperately need to get to my chiro and haven't been able to because of this situation!

You have no idea how many times I've held my little girl in my arms and wondered how to disconnect her IV, bundle her up and just sneak out. I will talk to the procurator though, and see what rights I have in terms of her treatment, since the ped said I had no right to refuse her medical treatment, despite me claiming otherwise.

aaronsmom, my dh keeps saying he should have refused them at the door. However, on the other hand, since social services got involved (even though I didn't know at the moment), at least they can't say I denied my baby medical treatment, even though she didn't need it. However, the hospital has overreached and are just been abusive now. I mean, she's going to be in the NICU till Saturday. I'm getting desperate now.

Equuskia in with Nodtveidt DD1 : DD2 :
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#10 of 305 Old 07-09-2008, 11:46 PM
 
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I agree with everyone else, go get your baby. They have no right to hold her, much less treat her without your permission. I hope you can get her back without too much hassle, but pull out the lawyer card if you have to (even if you don't actually have one)

mom to all boys B: 08/01ribboncesarean.gif,  C: 07/05 uc.jpg, N: 03/09 uc.jpg, M: 01/12 uc.jpg and far too many lost onesintactlact.gifsaynovax.gif

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#11 of 305 Old 07-09-2008, 11:48 PM
 
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OMG, I am freaking out for you.
prayers and hugs
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#12 of 305 Old 07-09-2008, 11:56 PM
 
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In the absence of a life-threatening issue, I don't believe the hospital has any right to keep her against your wishes. And a homebirth not only isn't life-threatening, it is way more healthy than that germy place! They don't own the baby, you do. But you should have some backup....and they don't need to do testing on a healthy newborn! Jeez, what has this country come to??? Hope you get her back quickly...I do know of a couple other people who had this happen to them and they had to fight to get thier own baby back...Some would say playing nice would get better results sooner, but I don't think so. I think the hospitals do it to A: make money, B: cover thier hineys...even when they weren't asked for their professional opinion...C: pacify Socialist services....who shouldn't be in the picture to begin with, and D, set bad precedent for other potential homebirthers who have to transfer for one reason or another... Hope it all works out quickly. I think those nursery nurses know the scoop..
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#13 of 305 Old 07-10-2008, 12:01 AM
 
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Congratulations on your dd's birth!

If there is not more you are telling us, march up to that Hospital, sign an AMA and TAKE YOUR BABY HOME!

There is no way in hell, I could separate myself from my newborn child if there was no reason.

I feel for you so much. You are in my thoughts!
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#14 of 305 Old 07-10-2008, 12:43 AM
 
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I did not read any of the other replies because I am so angry! I am so sorry you are going through this.
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#15 of 305 Old 07-10-2008, 12:47 AM
 
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My heart goes out to you!

I am so sorry for the predicament you are in. I hope that there is a lawyer somewhere who can take your case and give you justice.

It's unfathomable that they would take away your baby when she's absolutely healthy and give her drugs. Just makes me :

It just shows you how much the doctors do not know. thy think it's unsterile in your own home!?! Holy cow. And do they think hospital beds are so clean, where people die on them and lay on when they have horrible illnesses?!?

****************************

Much love, mama. You will get your girl back, and live a beautiful life together.:
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#16 of 305 Old 07-10-2008, 01:03 AM
 
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Oh my gosh, how scary!! Are your other kids upset by it? Was there someone to care for them while you were being detained in that hospital? Ugh, they make me so mad they way they try to basically PUNISH for UC'ing. I mean, stomach cleaning? Who ever even HEARD of that and suddenly it's necessary because the birth was non-sterile??
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#17 of 305 Old 07-10-2008, 01:03 AM
 
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I agree with everyone eles. Go to the hospital, demand that they release your baby. Pull the lawyer card if nessesary. they are way overstepping boundries.

I'm sorry that you are experiancing this. It makes me angry beyond words. They have no right to do this. Yet I'm sure they are making it seem like you have no other choice but to cooperate. But you do know that you have a choice.

This is horrible.

What is it going to take for the medical system to reform their thinking?
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#18 of 305 Old 07-10-2008, 01:11 AM
 
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If you plan on leaving AMA with the baby, I would have a retained lawyer with you when you do it. You know and I know and all the other mamas here know that your baby is fine and UC does not mean septic or unsterile; however, mainstream societies don't know that and they don't care and this absolutely smacks of unwarranted CPS involvement. And as we all know CPS is not the most rational of agencies to deal with. Please do not just walk out of that hospital with your baby, not without getting a lawyer in there with you. I have no doubt that hospital will call social services on you and you'll have a CPS agent baning down your door within the hour. Good luck mama.

oh and BTW, congratulations.:

M : proud mama to B (16) : and G (8) and : x 2 :
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#19 of 305 Old 07-10-2008, 01:22 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Equuskia View Post
You have no idea how many times I've held my little girl in my arms and wondered how to disconnect her IV, bundle her up and just sneak out. I will talk to the procurator though, and see what rights I have in terms of her treatment, since the ped said I had no right to refuse her medical treatment, despite me claiming otherwise.
.
I think you need to re-challenge the ped on that and talk to the supervisor again. I would assume you have all rights, unless your baby is in immediate life threatening danger.

I'd suggest you stay calm, but be firm about the fact you want your daughter discharged that day. I would call the procurator in advance and tell him/her that you want him/her to assist with the discharge of your daughter at he time of your meeting, and to get the ball rolling now. If you get any pushback then yes, get that lawyer right away, maybe make a preliminary phone call to that lawyer to he/she is familiar with your situation and can give the procurator pressure if they are not cooperative.

Good luck!
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#20 of 305 Old 07-10-2008, 01:53 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Congratulations on your dd's birth!

If there is not more you are telling us, march up to that Hospital, sign an AMA and TAKE YOUR BABY HOME!

There is no way in hell, I could separate myself from my newborn child if there was no reason.

I feel for you so much. You are in my thoughts!
Oh boy, is there ever more! But it's along the same vein as the other bs they have been feeding us. And it's really hard because my mom is working on the other side of the island, and can't come over here because they are working on a federal grant project, my sister is in the states, and I don't trust anyone in this neighborhood to take care of my dd, especially now after what happened. Since dd can't be in the hospital (she's only 2.5) my husband has to stay with her, and my sleep-deprived, postpartum achey self has to deal with these idiots.

Precious gems I've been told in this hospital:
1) My daughter is ward of the state while in the hospital and I cannot refuse treatment for her, only for myself, told to me by the ped.

2) (told by the RN in NICU) If I had given birth at the hospital, they wouldn't have had to give her abx because she would have been born in a sterile environment. In other words, so that they wouldn't have had to shoot her up, I'd have had to be pumped with pitocin, lain on my back, have my genitals mutilated and sewn and be told when and how to push by some overpaid pompous male OB who's never given birth in his life, while my husband gets to just stand there in the delivery room. Lovely.

4) While I was in the ER, my baby was from 11pm to 9am without being able to breastfeed. They attempted to give her a bottle of formula, after looking for me in the maternity ward and not finding me. (the nurses thought I was admitted to maternity since I was postpartum, they didn't think to look in ER) Luckily, she didn't take it. I saw the bottle in the incubator, full. She was literally starving, devouring her hands and very upset.

4) The stomach flush was because she was vomiting fluid with "coffee grinds", which they believed was meconium. Funny though, how in the first five hours of her life, she didn't vomit once. In fact, she breastfed at home for about 2 hours, breastfed in the ambulance, and breastfed in the hospital too. Not one episode of vomiting during that time period. There was no way she could have swallowed any meconium anyways, since when I broke my bag of water, the fluid was clear. The baby's skin was clean. After the baby come out, my husband saw meconium come out afterwards. So how could have it gotten into her stomach? My husband says it could have been gastric erosion, as a result of something they may have injected in her. Hell, it could have been stress from being separated and traumatized. I don't know.

5) By the same RN as earlier, my 2.5 dd didn't need breast milk anymore. Children should stop breastfeeding when they get teeth because it hurts the breast. When I told her I would have had to stop feeding dd when she was 6 months, since she had 4 teeth by then, she said that I could put it in a bottle and give it to her. And that after 2.5, her immune system was working and bfing wouldn't make a difference.




The only good news I've had to far is when yesterday the hospital social worker told me that she was finally able to locate the case, and that they would follow up at home, but would not require any followup in the hospital, so the only thing holding the baby in the hospital is the clinical aspect. She said social services wasn't interfering and wouldn't hold the baby.

Equuskia in with Nodtveidt DD1 : DD2 :
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#21 of 305 Old 07-10-2008, 01:58 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I think you need to re-challenge the ped on that and talk to the supervisor again. I would assume you have all rights, unless your baby is in immediate life threatening danger.

I'd suggest you stay calm, but be firm about the fact you want your daughter discharged that day. I would call the procurator in advance and tell him/her that you want him/her to assist with the discharge of your daughter at he time of your meeting, and to get the ball rolling now. If you get any pushback then yes, get that lawyer right away, maybe make a preliminary phone call to that lawyer to he/she is familiar with your situation and can give the procurator pressure if they are not cooperative.

Good luck!
I plan to be at her door when they open. If they can't/won't help me, I plan on retaining the lawyer that my chiro recommended.

You know, everyone that I have told this odyssey to have all told me the same thing "but people back in the day (gma, ggma, etc) gave birth at home and nobody died. What's the big deal? They just wanted to take your money".

Equuskia in with Nodtveidt DD1 : DD2 :
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#22 of 305 Old 07-10-2008, 02:55 AM
 
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I am so sorry. I would be calling a lawyer now! In the middle of the night. I would skip over the entire hopital.

Best wishes to you and I hope this nightmare ends soon. I wont say any more as it makes me angry beyond anything i can describe right now.
keep us posted

(((hugs)))

Lisa~Was Aspiring Midwife~Now-AAMI Midwifery Student #2020~Mama to Zackery 3/29/96, Drake 9/22/01, and Selina 10/26/03...and here was the link to my new blog
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#23 of 305 Old 07-10-2008, 03:34 AM
 
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I have never heard of any more insane interference than that. I hope you get your sweet little baby back soon.
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#24 of 305 Old 07-10-2008, 11:16 AM
 
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They "cleaned" her stomach? Oh God, that makes me want to vomit. I don't understand how all this happened. It is absolutely terrifying. I could not imagine having my baby taken away, poked and prodded, forced "medicine" that was not needed, stomach cleaning?!?!

Oh Mama, why did you get in the ambulance? Ya know...I ask that question and realize that it doesn't matter why...getting in the ambulance does not automatically give the hospital the right to do this stuff to your baby.

I hope you get a good lawyer and get this awful situation taken care of. Your baby needs you, and the two of you need to be home.

Unsterile environment my ass. WTF. I just canNOT understand some people.

I'm so sorry, Mama.

Sprat , Certified Professional Midwife, loved very much by Sprig , the most open-minded, loving, gentle man in the world, little Sprout and now someone new! on begins with .
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#25 of 305 Old 07-10-2008, 11:21 AM
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as a PSA, it is important to remember that there is no requirement (legal) to allow the police or paramedics into your home.

in such a situation, you simply tell them that everything is fine, and that you do not need their help. do not let them in.

and if you do let them in, you are not required to go to the hospital or anywhere with them.
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#26 of 305 Old 07-10-2008, 11:28 AM
 
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OMG. I cannot believe this happened to you. You and that precious baby are in my heart and my thought.

And they are going to charge you for a forced admission and stay? I would say that you find out who called and send them the bill. I can understand their hearts were in the right place in their concern for your welfare. But maybe they should be the one that foots the bill for all this.
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#27 of 305 Old 07-10-2008, 12:06 PM
 
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zoebird, what's a PSA?

Sprat , Certified Professional Midwife, loved very much by Sprig , the most open-minded, loving, gentle man in the world, little Sprout and now someone new! on begins with .
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#28 of 305 Old 07-10-2008, 12:27 PM
 
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Congratulations on your beautiful birth but sorry for all the trauma to you and your family. Wishing you a speedy resolution to all of this!
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#29 of 305 Old 07-10-2008, 12:33 PM
 
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as far as I know in the usa you can take your baby AMA. i dont know about puerto rico though it is a usa territory right? I am so so sorry you are experiencing this awful set of events. my son was also in the nicu for 5 days unneccesarily and it was just wrenching. but he's fine now at almost 7 years old, he breastfed until age 5 and has always been ehalthy ever since the stupid hospital decided he needed antibiotics.
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#30 of 305 Old 07-10-2008, 12:41 PM
 
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