Why did you decide UC over HB w/ Midwife? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 41 Old 07-24-2008, 07:26 PM - Thread Starter
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Thank you everyone for your input! I'm really enjoying reading everyone's responses and I myself am strongly considering an unassisted birth. I'm just curious as to what my midwife will think about that! (Not that it matters much)

Keep the thread going!

Erica, wife to Jason (March 2002) . Mama to Ava (June 2003) , Jason Jr. [AKA JJ] (August 2004) , Lila (January 2009) , Maura (October 2010) , and a new person in December 2012!
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#32 of 41 Old 07-24-2008, 08:15 PM
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With dd1 (failed uc..transfer for pain killer) it was due to nervousness. I have severe anxiety so the idea of having to get intimate with someone was horrible. Plus I didn't want to feel like a child by checking in and making sure I was doing things right. I was an adult and capable of caring for myself. Just because I was pregnant didn't mean that stopped being the case.

With dd2 a good part was to heal. After we transferred with dd1 things went downhill and left us freaking out basically. I needed to prove to myself I could do it. Another part was because we were part of a documemntary and I didn't want to suck. And again my anxeity/nervousness came into play. After her birth I was so emotionally raw that I considered a midwife if we have another. Then I got to thinking about it and the whole idea just doesn't work for me. I wouldn't allow her to do anything, why bother then?

I understand people get a lot emotionally/support wise from midwives but that's just not me. The idea of paying someone to tell me if I'm too big or too small, too early or too late, eating perfectly or eating horribly and then come into my home and essentially boss people around while fondling my girl bits seems horribly violating to me. I know not all midwives are like this (there is one here on MDC I would love come to a birth of mine! but she's a rarity) but I feel comfy assuming most are. Just because they are midwives doesn't mean they don't have rules/guidelines they don't ahve to follow. I'm glad those work for other people but that's not cool in my book. If I hire a midwife she's technically working for me. I should say what her rules/guidelines are and sadly that just isn't the case most of the time. You can see it in the way women talk as they get closer to term. I'm all about responsibily taking responsibility for myself. I'm not about passing the buck.

(I'm not saying having a midwife is passing the buck but having someone else there gives a lot of people a false sense of security in that regard. If a dr./midwife is there there is someone to step in and take charge and control of a situation and people who go that route know that. As a ucer I am the one who has to step up and take control of a situation. I understand for most people that's a scary thing. So for me, having that safety net is passing the buck.)

Give more**Expect Less
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#33 of 41 Old 07-26-2008, 03:32 PM
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I figure, in the event of a real emergency, all the midwife can really do anyways is call 911 for you, and we are perfectly capable of doing that ourselves without paying someone several thousand $ for that privilege.

Also, here midwives are legislated, meaning that when it comes down to it, their decisions and actions are based on LIABILITY, NOT whats best for mama and baby... Just like the hospital.

If theres any big clues that we need to take from nature, its that mamas need to birth alone and at peace, not being "helped", monitored, observed or fussed over.
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#34 of 41 Old 07-27-2008, 12:10 PM
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Wow. I had a very mainstream pregnancy with the clinic and high-risk OB and everything (blood pressure) and I never even considered a midwife much less an UC. I ended up with an unplanned caesarean and will probably never have another child.....but....

I SO IDENTIFY with the whole being watched/fussed over/"helped" thing, which is one reason I skipped the MW experience b/c I get very uncomfortable with too much personal attention---I prefer to fly under the radar. This made my lol hysterically:
Having my husband around while I was in labor was utterly infuriating. Every time he made noise or spoke, I would get so angry and kept telling him to "shut up!" He just wouldn't. Arrrggh!
because I can identify with that too. I most likely won't the chance to attempt this type of birth, but wanted to let you all know how eye-opening this thread was, and I feel a bit of a warm fuzzy whimsy feeling now knowing that maybe I could have performed this type of birth.

Cuddlebaby...I read your blog entry and I'm so sorry.
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#35 of 41 Old 07-27-2008, 12:36 PM
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I went into that a bit in my first UC birth story ... I have only had UC homebirths ... meaning my births were three hospital and two uc homebirths ... I had a CNM with my last hospital birth and found it to be a huge learning experience, very empowering ... but eventually when I got pregnant with #4 I needed something different. I didn't want another hospital birth and never saw myself having a midwife attended homebirth either ... just couldn't wrap my brain around that idea for some reason. Once I had my UP/UC I couldn't imagine any other way.

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#36 of 41 Old 07-29-2008, 07:21 AM
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I'm so bummed that so many of you had bad experiences with midwives. I've thought about UC, but not 100% sure about it. I did really enjoy my midwife's presence, but she was also very hands off and supports UC so maybe that vibe always rubbed off on me.

Mama to : '05, '08, '10 and expecting our 3rd homebirth.jpgJanuary '13

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#37 of 41 Old 07-29-2008, 12:16 PM
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I go into our reasons for "canceling" our midwife at 5 months pretty thoroughly in my birth story, which I'll just have to link to because it's long! Ummm, click on the link in my signature and then scroll all the way down to "Matrilineal Love" or just click on the "Birth" link under my categories.
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#38 of 41 Old 08-03-2008, 10:58 AM
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My second daughter was suspose to be a homebirth with a friend who was a midwife attending for me. She moved rather quickly leaving me with with no other options. Dh adn I talked and decided we could do it. I went to a OB for one U/S to make sure and saw I had previa. It ended up not moving and I had to have a C-section. I mourned her birth and dreamed of doing it "my way" for years. It was about 6 years later that I actually leanred that there was a term for what I wanted and other people who felt like I did. I am now TTC and again planning my second UC.

Super Crunchy natural birthing, extended breastfeeding, non-Circing, non vaxxing cloth diapering, Student midwife and Mama to Hannah 14 Abby 9 and Liam 1
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#39 of 41 Old 08-03-2008, 01:43 PM
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I too had a meddling MW with my first birth. She wouldn't let me birth or labour how I wanted to, I had to be on the couch so she could control babies entrance. (said baby would come too fast if I was standing But I actually had thought of having a UC during that pregnancy. My partner didn't want to do it alone the first time, so we went with the MW. (they are free here in BC)

So when I got pregnant again, I just followed my heart. I went to a doctor once or twice to hear the heartbeat and get weighed. That part of pregnancy is fun for me, getting the attention.

But even if I wanted care in that pregnancy it was easy to see that UC was the way for me to go. The doctor who delivers babies in that town is a really cool guy. BUT, he was my first boyfriends dad, so I didn't want him seeing my spread eagle. And I wanted to see a MW during the pregnancy instead of a doctor, but all the MWs in the area were totally booked up already. So UC it was, and it was wonderful and I completely trust my body in the event of another pregnancy to birth my baby safely and easily.
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#40 of 41 Old 08-05-2008, 11:28 PM
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I wanted to be able to listen to my baby, my body, and my G_d without having any machines or other people interfere. UC allowed me to do that. A HB midwife didn't.
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#41 of 41 Old 08-05-2008, 11:53 PM
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I just feel that pregnancy and delivery are very private actions. I couldn't DTD with a paid stranger standing in the room and I know I couldn't deliver a baby that way, either.

In fact, I'm worried because the idea of "making noise" and being heard by the neighbors is already inhibiting me. And I still have 3 months to go!

Mama to expecting Babe 2
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