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#1141 of 1157 Old 12-01-2009, 11:00 AM
 
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Okay whoMe, I will share some happy news! I don't feel like I have everything figured out, but I DO feel like I have a PLAN and we are on our way, and we are already seeing lots of great results. Even when we have setbacks it's okay, because it gives us new information!

I think I remember that you were skeptical about homeopathy, but let me just share some of my story. Like you, I am very much an analytical, science-minded thinker. I began seeing a doctor 10 years ago who was a homeopath, an MD, and did all kinds of nutritional stuff too. He gave me homeopathic remedies, and also prescribed a long list of nutritional stuff, and over time, the things always improved. But to be honest, I always credited it to the nutritional changes, because I had not seen any changes from the remedies in my child, and I had never seen anything acute really work.

Recently, I switched to a different doctor and we have had some really amazing results. Things that could not have changed from a placebo effect, and things that could not have been due to something else, or a coincidence. I am totally serious. Before, I always "wanted" homeopathy to work, and thought it sounded like a really nice "idea", but I think in the back of my mind I was always skeptical, like, does this really work? Umm, yes, it does. And it can be powerful if you have a good practitioner.

Now, I'm not trying to convince you or hound you about it, I just really want to share my story because it has made a big turnaround for us in several ways. And to be honest, I don't think I really believed it until I saw several very real things with my own eyes. Things that happened within hours. For example, an acute remedy that made a bright red, hot, inflamed, poison ivy rash change over the course of one hour. That is just a small detail. If you want more specific examples, PM me.

Get yourself to a really good homeopath, PM if you want to email my doctor and ask him if he'll do phone consults.

Also, if anyone is feeling really lost and in need of a plan, I cannot say enough wonderful things about Panserbjorne. She is an amazing and so knowledgeable healer, and she does health consultations over the phone. She is really really knowledgeable. Sometimes it just helps to talk this out with someone who can help you come up with a plan, and her health consultations over the phone are one hour and are very reasonably priced IMO. She has been really really helpful to us. PM me if you want her email or phone #.

It's okay ladies! We can do this! We are doing this! We are all going to be okay! Better than okay!

We also have to be gentle with ourselves and especially at times of drastic hormonal changes, like in pregnancy AND in PP periods. Things are just different. And the need for social supports is very real. If all you have is this chat, then use it. But if you can get any support IRL, then go for that too. I have a lot of interaction with others IRL, we homeschool, my kids are older, but I really don't have a whole lot of people who get any of this stuff. I have one friend I can talk to about it, but she doesn't have the same issues, so it is usually just me talking her ear off about it, and her listening, which is still very helpful and being a good friend. Have you checked the Finding your Tribe section?

But, then again, that is another thing that has really benefited me from talking to PB, is talking back and forth with someone who gets what I am talking about, has been through it, and can help me make a plan. I always feel better with a plan.

Another thing that really helps me is getting out and walking in the fresh open air. Can you take a walk before DH goes to work? After work? With DD in a stroller?

How about a gratitude journal? Put a notebook by your bed and write down 5 things that you are grateful for every day. Even if you write down the same 5 things every single day for a week, I bet it will help, just by focusing on what is positive once a day. That doesn't mean you can't vent about the negative here. I think it's fine! It helps to get it out! For me, I need to process things, and need to bounce stuff off of other people.

Hang in there mamas! You guys are so knowledgeable and are doing so much! Your LO's love you. They really do! Just hold them and cuddle because they will not be little for long. I am telling you, my oldest just turned 10, and he suddenly seems so grown up. I can't believe it. But I am trying to tell myself, wait, he is still a really just a little kid! Because I know he is going to be 18 in a blink of an eye, and I am going to look back to this day, and be sentimental for this time!

Okay, there's my cheerleading for the day! Love you all!
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#1142 of 1157 Old 12-01-2009, 12:54 PM
 
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WhoMe: I am sorry. I can hear your pain and frustration.

JR - Post your needs lists on the cabinet and the fridge. You are the number one priority because if you are falling apart, everyone else is. It doesn't take that long to meet your supplemental needs. You can get back there.
I just got off the phone with Panser and it was really lovely. I agree Momofmine, it is really nice to talk to someone who gets it - even if you have to pay them to listen. I am going to keep her in mind in the future about general consults. Especially since I can't seem to find someone in my area who knows anything.
We are getting special Australian FEs from her. I am seeing a difference for myself. I'm not sure about my oldest. Today's consult was for my youngest.

I'm trying to think of something else that is positive to say. ummmmm. I had a great day with my boys yesterday. It was nice to not think about food or allergies for a while, just regular stuff. We just stayed home and hung out together and they played and played. For us, the greatest gift we gave to our family is to have had our second son. He has added so much to our family. Too bad the pregnancy sucked so much. Really though, it is a blessing to have another child.

I have a three year old who only wants to be naked and now it is time to get him dressed. Wish me luck.

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#1143 of 1157 Old 12-01-2009, 01:39 PM
 
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Sulfoxidation/sulfur foods is the primary one for sals - mo, b6, and mag.

Have you looked at omega 3:6 ratios?
I've been adding epsom salts to his bath but it doesn't seem to help... so I guess it would be B6 and/or Mo. Any child-friendly supps for those?
I've barely looked past my own nose. Like I said, anytime I try to spend any time figuring out what to do for my kids, *I* end up falling apart but it seems like I'm at a point where I'm screwed if I don't and screwed if I do.
Maybe a thread would help.

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#1144 of 1157 Old 12-01-2009, 01:44 PM
 
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JR - Post your needs lists on the cabinet and the fridge. You are the number one priority because if you are falling apart, everyone else is. It doesn't take that long to meet your supplemental needs. You can get back there.
I know it doesn't but in the time it took me to go into the kitchen, get my (pre-readied) pills and water and take them this morning, DS2 moved the couch, climbed the bookcase, tore out all the books and games, dumped all the toys, and shredded a book. Not to mention mashing the play doh I'd "occupied" him with into one of my shoes.

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#1145 of 1157 Old 12-01-2009, 01:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I've been adding epsom salts to his bath but it doesn't seem to help... so I guess it would be B6 and/or Mo. Any child-friendly supps for those?
I've barely looked past my own nose. Like I said, anytime I try to spend any time figuring out what to do for my kids, *I* end up falling apart but it seems like I'm at a point where I'm screwed if I don't and screwed if I do.
Maybe a thread would help.
Or you need even more mag. Although I do epsom salt baths with the kids (sporadically, I admit), I have no idea how much that would be equivalent to consuming. So I just supp the kids.
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#1146 of 1157 Old 12-01-2009, 02:46 PM
 
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holy smokes. I just tested DH's TJ's raw milk cheddar cheese with my pendulum on a whim. It passed for all of us! I haven't had cheese in years. I am wary of dairy because of the way ds1 slowly started to react to dairy last year during a trial. I have been thinking about Mamafish though and what she has done. I have been really up on mag, so that might be what is it. I shouldn't get my hopes up, but cheese once in a while would be nice. I have a raw milk source also so I can test that soon - raw kefir.
I just ate a large chunk of cheese, so I will see how everything is going. I also tested my cell salts which contain lactose. In the past my boys really reacted to them and it was a really strong yes for them. We will see.

light bulb - slightly related. My mom always says that cheese makes her constipated. I also know she has histamine issues. Must be that the cheese is requiring a lot of mag from her. another connection.

thank you mamas - thank you mamafish.

thank you Tanya - My histamines went way down when I finally made the connection between my allergies and my needing a lot of B12. Maybe because all three of us have higher b12 levels, we are able to try the cheese.
Panser commented about people with mthfr needing lots of B12 - something about not absorbing it well. Anyone have any ideas about that?

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#1147 of 1157 Old 12-01-2009, 02:51 PM
 
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Originally Posted by JacquelineR View Post
I've been adding epsom salts to his bath but it doesn't seem to help... so I guess it would be B6 and/or Mo. Any child-friendly supps for those?
I've barely looked past my own nose. Like I said, anytime I try to spend any time figuring out what to do for my kids, *I* end up falling apart but it seems like I'm at a point where I'm screwed if I don't and screwed if I do.
Maybe a thread would help.
We used to use a source naturals sublingual b6, but stopped because of an allergen, probably corn but maybe gluten. That said my pendulum has always prefered thorne Bs over the source naturals, even for DH who doesn't have an allergy.

I would also up the mag. Can you put natural calm into anything?
I have used a tasty liquid Mo. I can't remember the name. Again, my pendulum prefers Thorne. I used to open up the capsule and pour it onto food.

I really want to get on top of sals issues. I want coconut in our lives. I am not sure if it is sals, but I know we have sulfate issues. Only recently has my pendulum been ok with very occasional msm supps for me.

I will be your cheerleader JR.

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#1148 of 1157 Old 12-01-2009, 03:51 PM
 
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Thanks everyone. The issue with homeopathy (and pretty much all alternative everything that I haven't researched till I go blind) is that dh flat out doesn't believe in it, thinks it's all placebo, it's hiding the issue (he's done all sorts of research into the history of things like psychic healers where people think they're getting better and then they drop dead cause it was all in their heads), and it's expensive to play with. And so he says if I really think it'll help, I can do it cause at this point he thinks it's all in my head anyways, but then going that route is like saying that yeah, I'm making it all up, AND it completely loses any support from him whatsoever, when he's the only person IRL I have to talk to.

Which basically makes me an outsider again, cause all of the stuff the alternative community talks about is how homeopathy is so great and how their pendulums give them all the answers. Which isn't meant to be a blow to anyone here, cause I really do think it works for you guys, and I wish I could at least try it myself, but how do you weigh that wanting to try against your relationship with dh?

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Originally Posted by JacquelineR View Post
I've been adding epsom salts to his bath but it doesn't seem to help... so I guess it would be B6 and/or Mo. Any child-friendly supps for those?
I've barely looked past my own nose. Like I said, anytime I try to spend any time figuring out what to do for my kids, *I* end up falling apart but it seems like I'm at a point where I'm screwed if I don't and screwed if I do.
Maybe a thread would help.
If epsoms aren't helping, it might not be a sulfate issue, and maybe the omegas are a good route too look at? I forget if you guys have done/do CLO?

allergy-nutrition mama, dh, 4yo dd, and March ds
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#1149 of 1157 Old 12-01-2009, 04:40 PM
 
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Thanks everyone. The issue with homeopathy (and pretty much all alternative everything that I haven't researched till I go blind) is that dh flat out doesn't believe in it, thinks it's all placebo, it's hiding the issue (he's done all sorts of research into the history of things like psychic healers where people think they're getting better and then they drop dead cause it was all in their heads), and it's expensive to play with. And so he says if I really think it'll help, I can do it cause at this point he thinks it's all in my head anyways, but then going that route is like saying that yeah, I'm making it all up, AND it completely loses any support from him whatsoever, when he's the only person IRL I have to talk to.

Which basically makes me an outsider again, cause all of the stuff the alternative community talks about is how homeopathy is so great and how their pendulums give them all the answers. Which isn't meant to be a blow to anyone here, cause I really do think it works for you guys, and I wish I could at least try it myself, but how do you weigh that wanting to try against your relationship with dh?
I really wish I could offer some great advice, but all I can say is I understand how you feel. In last week's counseling session with DH, he said he thinks I am obsessing over the allergies and I need to stop researching (which I have been doing little of because I don't have time and he complains whenever I'm on the computer). Instead I should just find a doctor I trust and can listen to (which as we all know is so easy to do). The counselor suggested I have mommy burnout and I need some support, and I am now going to counseling by myself the next few weeks. It will be interesting to hear what she has to say tonight. I'm hoping it will be helpful. With respect to homeopathy and alternatives, I'm not sure DH believes in it, but I do it anyway and don't ask for his permission. Sometimes he complains about the cost but I ignore it (well, sometimes it starts an argument). Originally I wanted him to help me research and figure out the puzzle, but now I just want him to not complain when I do it and to support me emotionally in what I am doing. But we aren't quite there yet. I wish I could be more helpful. If you ever want to chat, feel free to call me.
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#1150 of 1157 Old 12-01-2009, 04:52 PM
 
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Thanks everyone. The issue with homeopathy (and pretty much all alternative everything that I haven't researched till I go blind) is that dh flat out doesn't believe in it, thinks it's all placebo, it's hiding the issue (he's done all sorts of research into the history of things like psychic healers where people think they're getting better and then they drop dead cause it was all in their heads), and it's expensive to play with. And so he says if I really think it'll help, I can do it cause at this point he thinks it's all in my head anyways, but then going that route is like saying that yeah, I'm making it all up, AND it completely loses any support from him whatsoever, when he's the only person IRL I have to talk to.

Which basically makes me an outsider again, cause all of the stuff the alternative community talks about is how homeopathy is so great and how their pendulums give them all the answers. Which isn't meant to be a blow to anyone here, cause I really do think it works for you guys, and I wish I could at least try it myself, but how do you weigh that wanting to try against your relationship with dh?



If epsoms aren't helping, it might not be a sulfate issue, and maybe the omegas are a good route too look at? I forget if you guys have done/do CLO?
That's almost hysterical. DH is pretty much like this about vitamins- says I'm wasting money on "making expensive pee".

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#1151 of 1157 Old 12-01-2009, 05:04 PM
 
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That's almost hysterical. DH is pretty much like this about vitamins- says I'm wasting money on "making expensive pee".
Yeah, but does he basically wash his hands of you as a psych case to be humored for taking them anyway? Basically, I lose all credibility in his eyes as soon as I try something he thinks is unproven/has no merit. And then if I bring up anything related to any of this (so mood, reactions, menus, parenting...) it ends up in a fight.

And dd insists that the only way for me to be happy is for her to get milk and videos. If dh is home, even in the shower, she'll happily play on her own. But as soon as it's just her and me, it's all videos all the time. And I don't know how/have the energy to break it without her getting really really upset.

I'm reading the highly sensitive child book. Dh thinks I'm overanalyzing, that dd isn't sensitive, that I'm just seeing things that aren't there. HIS relationship with her is fine and mine is the one that's not working, so clearly I should be listening to him, not telling him what to do (when I'm trying to get him to help me with her)

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#1152 of 1157 Old 12-01-2009, 05:13 PM
 
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Yeah, but does he basically wash his hands of you as a psych case to be humored for taking them anyway? Basically, I lose all credibility in his eyes as soon as I try something he thinks is unproven/has no merit. And then if I bring up anything related to any of this (so mood, reactions, menus, parenting...) it ends up in a fight.

And dd insists that the only way for me to be happy is for her to get milk and videos. If dh is home, even in the shower, she'll happily play on her own. But as soon as it's just her and me, it's all videos all the time. And I don't know how/have the energy to break it without her getting really really upset.

I'm reading the highly sensitive child book. Dh thinks I'm overanalyzing, that dd isn't sensitive, that I'm just seeing things that aren't there. HIS relationship with her is fine and mine is the one that's not working, so clearly I should be listening to him, not telling him what to do (when I'm trying to get him to help me with her)
Would telling me that all I really need is counselling and taking up to 2 months to refill my vitamins (and up to 2 weeks for my thyroid med) count?
Sounds like we have almost exactly the same issues.
Believe me, what you saw with him taking the kids, actually being IN the house etc while you were here is so NOT the norm.

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#1153 of 1157 Old 12-01-2009, 05:30 PM
 
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I'm reading the highly sensitive child book. Dh thinks I'm overanalyzing, that dd isn't sensitive, that I'm just seeing things that aren't there. HIS relationship with her is fine and mine is the one that's not working, so clearly I should be listening to him, not telling him what to do (when I'm trying to get him to help me with her)
I should clarify that I mean him help me fix my relationship with dd. As it is, they spend plenty of time together and he helps with *her* a lot.
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Would telling me that all I really need is counselling and taking up to 2 months to refill my vitamins (and up to 2 weeks for my thyroid med) count?
Sounds like we have almost exactly the same issues.
Believe me, what you saw with him taking the kids, actually being IN the house etc while you were here is so NOT the norm.
Dh at least sees how much the vitamins do for me and believes in that, but it means he thinks I can just figure it all out with science rather than turning to alternative means.

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#1154 of 1157 Old 12-01-2009, 05:54 PM
 
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Just because he doesn't think it's science doesn't mean it's not science. Sorry, but plenty of people used to think the world was flat. Personally, my DH doesn't buy into any of it either, but I don't particularly care, because it is working. So I do it any way. And my proof is in what works. I have seen the most incredible things that could have in no way been placebo, etc. Because I wasn't even expecting it to work at first. Now, I haven't really had the luck with my pendulum that others have, but basically I believe that the pendulum is just tuning in to what your body already knows.

I wouldn't jump to conclusions about what your DH would do if you try homeopathy and it helps. I just try to not look to my DH for support on these matters, because he pretty much leaves these decisions up to me, and I am the mama and that is that.

Have you done a stool test for DD?

Have you done an organic acid urine test for DD?

Those are two non-invasive things that might give you some answers.
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#1155 of 1157 Old 12-01-2009, 05:55 PM
 
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And by the way, it's December!!!!!!
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#1156 of 1157 Old 12-01-2009, 06:06 PM
 
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Happy December!

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#1157 of 1157 Old 12-01-2009, 06:24 PM
 
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he thinks I am obsessing over the allergies and I need to stop researching (which I have been doing little of because I don't have time and he complains whenever I'm on the computer). Instead I should just find a doctor I trust and can listen to (which as we all know is so easy to do). The counselor suggested I have mommy burnout and I need some support, and I am now going to counseling by myself the next few weeks.
Wow, the planets must be aligned the same way for several of us cause I am struggling too. I just want to hand the burden off to someone else and fall into a pre-made bed of "what to do" rather than all this stressing, learning, research...some days that would be worth all the money I am saving on a do-it-yourself plan. I need some objectivity. I can't be objective anymore, my whole perspective is skewed, everything seems to be food allergy related, even in other peoples kids. At Thanksgiving, a little boy distantly related got really rosy cheeks after eating and I instantly thought he must be allergic to one of the foods. Maybe he was just HOT! There were a million people in there! Gah!

This has been a really hard year for me. I sooo wanted a baby with my new DH and yet its just not been what I imagined. I feel that so much of the magic of our babymoon and first year was overshadowed by this allergy mess. I was lying in a heap in baby DS's room last night as he screamed again for who knows why (teething? reaction? sick? silent reflux pain?) and just sobbing because in the end, nothing I do really cures him. I have tried elim diets, vitamins, supplements, whole foods, TF foods, teething necklace, teething tablets, babywearing, Tylenol, Motrin, herbal teas, co-sleeping, seperate sleeping, even CIO (horrible don't do it), have spend thousands of dollars on specialty foods, and thousands of hours of time on this, gone into extreme debt being home and not working and not able to work from home because DS is so high needs and all my work time is used up researching and NOTHING WORKS. I am still there, helpless, with a screaming baby who is clearly uncomfortable just like he was at 3 weeks old a year ago.

I don't really know what the problem is so how can I know the cure? And what if its not even an problem? Maybe it just IS. He is an erratic sleeper. He has a sensitive tummy sometimes. End of story. Its just what IS. Why can't I just accept that and chill out and not scrutininze every morsel that goes in or out? I have wondered if it IS all in my head - if this is a manifestation of some type of PP anxiety/OCD. Or is the PP anxiety part of the nutrition deficiencies in me that lead to his issues and see...on it goes! I envy the moms who are able to turn the blind eye and just dose out the Zantac and hand their kid the goldfish crackers and sippy of chocolate milk and get on with their day.

It may not be a popular choice, but I am strongly considering going on antidepressants just to see if the problem is ME rather than him. I am under a lot of stress anyway and I am prone to PPD and maybe that is just how my psyche is manifesting it - Anxiety/OCD re food. I want to be able to chill out and cope better. I don't want to freak out anymore when DS has a dot on his cheek after eating a banana or his poops get loose or he wakes up more after sleeping better for a few days and feel I have to go spend more $$$ on organic foods and supps and get us further in the hole. I just want to enjoy food and life again. If its just him, the way he is, and nothing to "fix", I can move on and find some peace in it, ways to cope with the issues rather than trying to fix them with diet.

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