DS is anaphylactic to beef & possibly also cow's milk, very allergic to eggs, and has had suspected reactions (facial hives) to blueberries, sesame, chocolate, prunes, and celery. Not blackberries, but who knows if he might react to them in the future. And what if DS accidentally ingests something in the park, such as a sippy cup full of cow's milk?
I'm so angry, but don't know how to get across to DH that he has to have the Epipen with him always, especially when DS eats anything at all. I wonder if DH is in denial?
Sorry for venting. Any advice or suggestions welcome.
If it's just that he refuses (I hope not--I'd be beyond livid) can hubby talk to your son's allergist? I had found some good "denial busting" clips on youtube for a grandparent but I can't find them when I looked again. You can find articles online and I think the epi pen site has information as well about deaths, timing (immediate--ambulance is not fast enough, run home, etc...not fast enough...maybe hubby doesn't realize a child can suddenly go into shock or that even a minor delay in using an epi pen may not do enough to save the child), etc. Maybe he just doesn't have the information. If he read it "officially" vs. heard it from you maybe it would help.
If you can't work this out my son would go no where without me with his daddy if I couldn't trust him to take his epi pen. It's life threatening after all. Said grandparent above who I found clips for has never been alone with my son without one of us since the diagnosis. He doesn't take it seriously enough.
Rachelle, mommy to 8 year old boys!
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Vent here or to a trusted friend or relative to get it out first, then calm down and have a big heart to heart with your DH. Try to be understanding for now instead of angry and see how he responds. Denial is certainly a valid stage... it is like a grieving that your child's life is going to be so different and their life is in danger. But given that it's a life threatening condition, denial needs to stop and pronto.
Maybe he simply doesn't understand exactly what can happen b/c sometimes this information is hard to find. If you aren't looking for it, it's easy for the average person just not to know why anaphylaxis needs to be treated so specifically\
I would certainly try Rachelle's excellent suggestions. And if that doesn't work, then go straight to marriage counselling. It's hell to feel like the only parent who takes this seriously, the situation is hard enough.
I'm going to post a big sign on our door: no epi-pen, no exit
And I'm going to buy one of those belts with an epi-pen holder and make him wear it when he's with DS.
It feels good to vent!
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