Please help - DD WILL.JUST.NOT.EAT.ANYTHING.AT.ALL x-posted - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 14 Old 10-05-2011, 11:53 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Sorry - I want to scream soooo bad.

 

My DD 28 mos has NO interest whatsoever in eating ANYTHING. She has been this way since she started solids (very minimally at 10 mos and really substantially since 16 mos). She dry suckles me 2 times a day but I have no milk.

 

She has allergies - milk, wheat, eggs, pineapple, chocolate, corn, shellfish,nuts, maybe soy....

 

She will NOT drink any milk alternatives - rice, soy, coconut or hemp

 

She does NOT like any fruit - she sometimes eats a couple of bites of strawberry, grapes, blueberry, mango or papaya.

 

She does NOT like any vegetable - she will not eat any except a bite of broccoli now and then.

 

Every meal time is a one hour affair where I put the TV , distract her and feed her. I stopped working because of this.

 

I make some lamb meat and marrow broth which I mix with rice cooked with cut-up carrots, beans and spinach and feed her that for lunch and dinner. She likes this better than anything but making her eat a goodish amount is the biggest chore. I feed her lunch and my DH feeds her dinner.

 

Breakfast is the biggest nuisance. Because of her allergies I am stumped for ideas but I feed her Dosa (Indian crepe made of rice and lentils) most often, some rice noodles, pork sausage , some soy formula in turns.

 

For snack we feed her french fries, chicken (fried or sausage), and some more soy formula.

 

We work the hardest to feed her. What is discouraging is - she doesn't willingly seem to want to eat anything. She doesn't like sweet taste so working with that is out. She likes savory a bit but eats a couple of bites. She just seems to HATE eating. Popsicles, smoothies, juices nothing work on her.

 

What will happen when she is 3 and I want to put her in playschool? Or 5 and I want to put her in preschool? What is going to be her life like? I want to TTC for a second one but am so discouraged with her situation. I do not want to homeschool.

 

How can I get her interested in any food? PLEASE mamas - any help is appreciated.

 

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#2 of 14 Old 10-05-2011, 05:46 PM
 
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That sounds really hard...I'm so sorry :( Could there be more allergies/sensitivities you have not yet discovered? She obviously can't be sensitive to all the foods she doesn't eat but maybe she is still uncomfortable and not hungry because of that? Did she have reflux at all as a baby? That can be painful and sometimes make kids not want to eat...

 

My DS has food allergies/intolerances, but he also had feeding issues due to low muscle tone and torticollis he had as a baby. If you are in the U.S., have you contacted your state's Early Intervention program to have your DD evaluated? It's a free program for children up to age 3 run by the state that offers physical, speech and occupational therapy for those who qualify. I think your DD would definitely qualify for feeding issues, but I would start this ASAP as they age out at 3. You could also get her evaluated privately with an occupational therapist (feeding is usually occupational therapists or occasionally speech therapists). My DS had problems with chewing and swallowing foods, and he benefitted a lot from working with his therapist (though you still have to work a lot with them at home too).


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#3 of 14 Old 10-05-2011, 07:40 PM
 
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My bio son got feeding therapy from a clinically certified speech therapist.  He had problems with choking.  They don't age out at age 3, but the local school district picks up (by Federal law) and they generally only address issues that would affect their learning in a classroom.  Not being able to eat like every other kid is a gray area for that.

 

That being said, my daughter will be 3yo in November and I could've written your post.  Neither her doctor back home nor her doctor here are even the least bit concerned about it.  *I* hate it because she's on this hellaciously expensive allergenic formula that I could wrap my head around for a year, but THREE (or more?) years??  Now the idea of all that unnatural stuff being the building blocks of her life are killing me.  She's adopted and it was illegal for me to nurse (sorry, folks--I wasn't about to risk having her removed) and so here we are.

 

Someone with an adoptive daughter of similar heritage (central american Hispanic) noted that her child had mildly low tone in her mouth and pointed out my daughters pudgy cheeks--which she felt could be an indicator.  And mine had WICKED torticollis.  She was in therapy for a year and almost wound up in a neck brace, but they got her straightened out.  She couldn't even use her left arm because of it, and her little face was flat on one side (now it's normal and she even has a dimple :)  ).

 

But I was involved in another conversation somewhere that noted that eating can be a control issue, too.  I'm wondering if my daughter's issue is partially a control thing.  We've moved 5 times in 18mo.  That would certainly do it.

 

FTR, I sent her to preschool 2-3 days/week and they didn't love the bottle, but they dealt with it.  I told them she had some serious allergies and feeding issues.  They didn't ask for a note, but we had to follow the protocols & labeling for bottles in that facility.

 

Mine also doesn't sleep through the night yet, either.  I'm wondering if it's a calories thing.  *sigh*  At least I'm not alone.


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#4 of 14 Old 10-05-2011, 07:49 PM
 
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It's not your imagination that she doesn't want to eat.  After taking my daughter (then about 3 or so) to an eating therapist we learned (and confirmed my suspicions) that she didn't connect hunger with eating.  Eating to satisfy hunger is a learned response, albeit one learned very early.  In some infants, especially those with pain associated with eating like allergies or other physical pain, the two fail to connect.  So all those grandmothers saying so confidently "If she's hungry she'll eat"--they are wrong!

 

An eating therapist is looking for physical difficulties with eating.  He will look if the child's troubles come from not wanting to sit still long enough for eating, mouth irregularities, troubles swallowing.  Think of it as a physical therapist for food.  The child is brought in and will eat a few different things---crunchy food like corn chips and several other different foods so they can make their assessment.  Kids like my daughter only need one visit.  Others--those with more severe physical difficulties--have regular office visits.

 

Her assessment was what I described above--that she hadn't made the connection between hunger and food.  Though she was squirmy and distractible (al those cool toys to play with!) she showed no impediments to eating.  The therapist wanted me to feed her whatever she wanted.  Clearly that was not going to be much at first, but her point was that she needed to learn to associate eating with pleasure.  That was the first priority and the first step in connecting eating with satiation.  "Oreo's all day?"  I asked sarcastically.  "Yes," she said and she wasn't kidding.

 

About 1.5 years later my daughter was sitting at the table eating some lunch. She stopped, looked at her food and exclaimed, "Mama, eating lunch makes my tummy feel better."  I could see in her eyes that this truly was a revelation for her.  She was 4.5.

 

 

 

 

 


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#5 of 14 Old 10-06-2011, 11:57 AM
 
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Mine understands the food-hunger connection.  She did just recently switch from asking for a bottle to asking for a snack, although she doesn't really want anything you give her and will keep hunting the pantry for something she loves.  And I know there are some times that she's looking to the bottle for comfort.  I can nail those pretty well.  They're not the majority, though.

 

But thank you for that post because I have put things in our house that we would not normally eat (on principle or due to allergy) just to get her to eat.  I guess my problem isn't that she doesn't eat AT. ALL, but she doesn't take in enough calories to sustain life without her formula.  I need her to eat MORE.  And what she WILL eat is very varied.  She loves marshmallows, chocolate, olives and chicken.  Everything else depends on how she feels at the moment.

 

I just hate this formula.  Three years already.

 

SweetSilver--where did you find your eating therapist?  Because my experience with EI is that if we get a good one, it would be by sheer luck.  Was yours a SLP-CCC?  Or an OT with additional training?  Or something else?


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#6 of 14 Old 10-06-2011, 12:51 PM
 
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Agreed... get thee a feeding evaluation, preferably one who works with a nutritionist, too.

Mi vida loca: full-time WOHM, frugalista, foodie wannabe, 10+ years of TCOYF 

 

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#7 of 14 Old 10-06-2011, 09:01 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by heatherdeg View Post
But thank you for that post because I have put things in our house that we would not normally eat (on principle or due to allergy) just to get her to eat.  I guess my problem isn't that she doesn't eat AT. ALL, but she doesn't take in enough calories to sustain life without her formula.  I need her to eat MORE.  And what she WILL eat is very varied.  She loves marshmallows, chocolate, olives and chicken.  Everything else depends on how she feels at the moment.

 

I just hate this formula.  Three years already.

 

SweetSilver--where did you find your eating therapist?  Because my experience with EI is that if we get a good one, it would be by sheer luck.  Was yours a SLP-CCC?  Or an OT with additional training?  Or something else?

I will have to look that up.  I'm not sure what "SLP-CCC" is.  We found her through our nurse practitioner.  We only went once.  It was good information, but she was pretty annoyed that my daughter wouldn't sit still for the visit.  I mean, really---all those cool toys and a fun space and you want to get a kid who will not eat when hungry to sit still and eat?  So I can't say whether she would have been the best fit for ongoing therapy, but apparently they are hard to find.  Her information was extremely helpful, though.  I think--I *think* she might have been an OT, but I will have to find out for sure.

 

And I am so with you on the wretched food!  If it weren't for all the allergies I know we'd be eating better.  
 

 


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#8 of 14 Old 10-07-2011, 01:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by heatherdeg View Post

My bio son got feeding therapy from a clinically certified speech therapist.  He had problems with choking.  They don't age out at age 3, but the local school district picks up (by Federal law) and they generally only address issues that would affect their learning in a classroom.  Not being able to eat like every other kid is a gray area for that.

 

That being said, my daughter will be 3yo in November and I could've written your post.  Neither her doctor back home nor her doctor here are even the least bit concerned about it.  *I* hate it because she's on this hellaciously expensive allergenic formula that I could wrap my head around for a year, but THREE (or more?) years??  Now the idea of all that unnatural stuff being the building blocks of her life are killing me.  She's adopted and it was illegal for me to nurse (sorry, folks--I wasn't about to risk having her removed) and so here we are.

 

Someone with an adoptive daughter of similar heritage (central american Hispanic) noted that her child had mildly low tone in her mouth and pointed out my daughters pudgy cheeks--which she felt could be an indicator.  And mine had WICKED torticollis.  She was in therapy for a year and almost wound up in a neck brace, but they got her straightened out.  She couldn't even use her left arm because of it, and her little face was flat on one side (now it's normal and she even has a dimple :)  ).

 

But I was involved in another conversation somewhere that noted that eating can be a control issue, too.  I'm wondering if my daughter's issue is partially a control thing.  We've moved 5 times in 18mo.  That would certainly do it.

 

FTR, I sent her to preschool 2-3 days/week and they didn't love the bottle, but they dealt with it.  I told them she had some serious allergies and feeding issues.  They didn't ask for a note, but we had to follow the protocols & labeling for bottles in that facility.

 

Mine also doesn't sleep through the night yet, either.  I'm wondering if it's a calories thing.  *sigh*  At least I'm not alone.




Hi,

 

I am sorry you are having trouble with your DD too. I was curious. What is the name of that expensive formula and why does your DD need to be on it (seems like she can eat quite a few different foods - right?) Where do you get that formula? Thanks

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#9 of 14 Old 10-07-2011, 01:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I contacted the early intervention guys and they are going to call me back next week (Mon or Tue). Will keep you guys updated.

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#10 of 14 Old 10-07-2011, 01:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Actually I got a call from them already. The way they explained the program is - they will bill my insurance first for all expenses and only for the initial evaluation if the insurance won't pick up something - they will cover it but if my DD qualifies and going forward for therapy they will bill my insurance and even if the insurance won't pick up any costs then we are responsible for the costs. How is this "free" from 0-3? I am confused. It is just like any other doctors'

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#11 of 14 Old 10-07-2011, 03:54 PM
 
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I have no idea. headscratch.gif It was the exact opposite for us and everyone else I know. They attempt to bill insurance and if insurance doesn't cover then it is free. Our insurance doesn't pay a penny and we've never seen anything in the 11 months we've used EI.


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#12 of 14 Old 10-07-2011, 04:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hmmm..this gets curioser and curioser.

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#13 of 14 Old 10-07-2011, 07:20 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blessed_Mom View Post

Hi,

 

I am sorry you are having trouble with your DD too. I was curious. What is the name of that expensive formula and why does your DD need to be on it (seems like she can eat quite a few different foods - right?) Where do you get that formula? Thanks



She is on Neocate Junior (and as a newborn, it was Neocate).  We order it directly from the manufacturer.  You can sometimes get it at a drug store, but you'll pay $50/can vs. $32-ish/can.  No prescription needed but if you have Medicaid and a prescription, I think they cover it.  We tried to step down to a lesser allergenic formula twice and both times she reacted in a way that indicated neurological issues.  Problem is: she is otherwise growing & developing fine, so nobody really knows what the deal is.  We have very little info on her birthparents (don't even know the race of the birthfather) and her birthmother was positive for drugs at birth, but we don't know if she was a recurrent user (the circumstances around her birth were traumatic for birthmom--she may have been self-medicating).  So there's possibility that this affected dd neurologically.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Blessed_Mom View Post

Actually I got a call from them already. The way they explained the program is - they will bill my insurance first for all expenses and only for the initial evaluation if the insurance won't pick up something - they will cover it but if my DD qualifies and going forward for therapy they will bill my insurance and even if the insurance won't pick up any costs then we are responsible for the costs. How is this "free" from 0-3? I am confused. It is just like any other doctors'


I know that in NJ, it has become a "shared cost" program--although as of 2009, they were not billing insurance.  And it was quite the uproar that we were the only state (at the time) that had any cost associated with birth-to-three services (it was sliding scale based on income).  What state are you in?  I would ask your ped for the phone number for birth-to-three/Early Intervention intake because it doesn't sound like that's who you got.


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#14 of 14 Old 10-07-2011, 07:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am in Washington, around Bellevue and I asked them if they were who EI were and they said yes ...... but I will call my ped tomorrow and see if they can help. Thanks

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