Ds2 has a huge list of known food allergies, but his most severe is dairy. He's ana on contact--just takes one drop anywhere on his skin--and that was the final push we needed to homeschool. So, I spent the last year, my dd's final year in public school, getting to know the area, looking into the resources available, meeting people (not easy for me; I'm largely anti-social). Most people in our area's hs community now know us a little and they are very aware of ds2's allergies and their severity and so, when one of the moms was able to wrangle the use of a community center a couple days a month, we put together a few guidelines (all food kept in one room, no nuts, no peanuts, no dairy...) And, for one day, I felt safe.
Last time we went, a close friend met me at the door and warned me that someone had been eating cheetos, but she went after them and cleaned it up (this same friend baked a dairy-, soy-, egg-, wheat-, nut-free cake for her
son's b-day party so my
son could eat it--how cool is that?!). Then, someone had cheese goldfish, then someone else put pistachios on the table...we just removed the offending foods. But today, a new mom came and her kids had (AUGH!) pizza lunchables!! With shredded cheese! And yogurt!! My guess is there was probably a sippy of milk hidden somewhere, too, but we didn't stay long enough to find out. I know that the coordinator e-mails all new members to tell them about the restrictions and the severity of the allergies b/c another mom who joined has a baby with allergies and she said the tone of the e-mail was kind of apologetic (Geez, sorry we have to ask you to do this but...) so maybe people aren't taking it seriously. But that cheese can kill my son!
Oh, and then a few weeks ago the proposed activity was to drop eggs off the top of the slide. I finally pointed out that not only was I uncomfortable with flying allergens, it might be dangerous for another, more severely-egg-allergic child to come along after us and unknowingly run through our remaining egg protein.
In the spring, they'll probably want to have a water balloon fight.
I'm frustrated on so many different levels.
The friend I mentioned before has said that she hates seeing so much junk at these gatherings. A lot of these folks profess to AP and FNL lifestyles, and many of them do co-sleep or ebf. It's nothing to see a 3-yr-old nursing. But, cheetos?? And lunchables??? :Puke She's angry, too, that people can't seem to leave their dairy and nuts at home for one day. She'd love to see other people provide food that ds2 can actually eat, but, as much as I appreciate the sentiment, that would be pretty impossible. I just want to keep him safe.
She's said several times that we ought to start our own group, much more FNL-oriented, and set the food guidelines from the beginning. No dairy, no nuts, no peanuts.
Do you think it would work?? Would people actually be willing to give up dairy and nuts for a day if they understood it could kill my child?
I was so freaked out today. I want my little boy to have friends, to play, but it's so hard when other people seem so d*** obtuse!!!