how do you stay sane? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 10-01-2008, 02:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I feel totally insane sometimes with this allergy, intolerance stuff...
I really want to believe my dr when she says, oh, he wakes up all night long agitated and restless because he is constipated, if you only give him this laxative and let him cry for a long time he will be fine. It would be so simple.

I really need some support. My 27 month old I am sure has intolerances. He has since birth, but I can never trust my hunches enough to figure them out and always just feel I am somehow a bit crazy.After all-he is growing fine, happy during the day etc...
how do you all do it?
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#2 of 13 Old 10-01-2008, 02:32 PM
 
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It has become so much a part of our life to obsess over things. It is just like second nature. Now that ds is eating more solids, it is starting to become overwheming again as I think of all the new struggles in our future. Just the other day I said to DH "I am so tired of stressing about allergy stuff ALL THE TIME!" But what choice do I have? This is the hand I was given, I must play it, and play it well. My son's health relies upon it.

On another note, the other day I got a taco. After talking to the waitress about what was in in, on it, wrapped around it, and on and on and on, I never once said no cheese. I got my tacos and saw a piece of cheese on the plate. I couldnt believe I forgot. I felt so dumb! After all these months, and it just slipped my mind.
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#3 of 13 Old 10-01-2008, 02:54 PM
 
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I said to DH "I am so tired of stressing about allergy stuff ALL THE TIME!" But what choice do I have? This is the hand I was given, I must play it, and play it well. My son's health relies upon it.
This is us. (Except I have daughters. )

I just got off the phone with my MIL. I was telling her how I just don't know what to do anymore. All I can do is keep talking to new people and see if anyone has a new perspective.

Mama, is it possible for you to get a second opinion (i.e. see a different health care provider) to help fortify your resolve to get to the bottom of your son's problems? Chronic constipation can be a CLASSIC allergy symptom (often dairy).

Nessa, DD1 (5) DD2 (3) & expecting again in late February/early March!
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#4 of 13 Old 10-01-2008, 02:57 PM
 
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Who said we're sane?

Mom to DMI & Silly Apple
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#5 of 13 Old 10-01-2008, 04:26 PM
 
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Who said we're sane?
I agree. At the moment, I'm completely losing it.

Honestly, the stress for me comes in believing we can somehow heal and overcome all of this. If I just had to eliminate all the known allergens and stay that way forever, if I just believed the line that "allergies are genetic," if I'd never found this message board and a million endless sources of "research," I honestly think I'd be a lot happier.

But then, what can I do? It's just not in me to sit around, even if ignorance is bliss.
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#6 of 13 Old 10-01-2008, 04:48 PM
 
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I think it's pretty fair to say that I am no longer sane, if if fact I ever was, which is debatable.

But yeah, you just gotta play the hand you're dealt. One thing that has kept me from losing it altogether is the fact that many, many parents are facing far worse problems than allergies. I have to be grateful every day that my dd is basically happy and healthy. Things could really be a lot worse, you know? So don't take anything for granted - that's my advice.
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#7 of 13 Old 10-01-2008, 05:01 PM
 
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Who said we're sane?
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Originally Posted by Chinese Pistache View Post
I agree. At the moment, I'm completely losing it.
:

It goes off and on for me... some days I'm sane, some days I'm losing it (more often than not.)

Without this forum though, I definitely would have lost it completely by now.

Mom to DD1 (10/07) and DD2 (3/11)
geek.gif I blog about our life with food allergies and eosinophilic disorders.
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#8 of 13 Old 10-01-2008, 05:25 PM
 
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I'm much saner since I've found y'all. Before I thought it was just me against the world and no one else had kids like this. And when people say how healthy my kids look despite all their food intolerances, I know I'm doing a good job feeding them. And when I'm getting a good night's sleep because they are, then I know I'm doing a good job. It's been 8 years though....

Kathy, mother of 3, wife of 1. My new recipe blog: www.kathysrecipebox.wordpress.com (no longer searchable by allergen, but at least it doesn't have a virus!)
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#9 of 13 Old 10-02-2008, 01:40 AM
 
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I think all of us have our days when it seems too much...no matter how long we've been at this.

One of the things I think I am learning to do is to take breaks from it. That doesn't mean I feed him (or me) stuff I know is a problem. It means I forgive myself for giving him a potential "problem" food...forgetting he had something just last nite that could have caused a reaction. It isn't possible to remember everything all the time, or to figure it out completely, or to follow up on every potential diet/study/concept I am exposed to here online. I have had to take a couple hiatuses from reading and posting here...the sheer amount of info can just get to be crazy.

When I really get down, I remind myself that the professionals who went to medical school (and whose job it is to figure out what's wrong and what to do) weren't able to do as well as I did...and that makes me proud and a little more fortified/ stubborn. There have been very few who even respected my concerns, much less echoed them. But he has gotten so much better.
Doing this seriously requires going against everyone...even DP occasionally in my case. It is unbelievably hard. I have faced some tough things before, but this takes every cell of my being sometimes. And it's scary...what if I am wrong? What if I miss something? If it is me that does all the figuring, then I feel like the outcome is my responsibility.

Well, hope this post is sort of helpful at least.

And the previous posters saying we are sometimes not sane...well, they aren't kidding.

Momma to one small person I call Smoodgie :joy.gif
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#10 of 13 Old 10-02-2008, 06:16 AM
 
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Originally Posted by mommydancer View Post
I think all of us have our days when it seems too much...no matter how long we've been at this.

One of the things I think I am learning to do is to take breaks from it. That doesn't mean I feed him (or me) stuff I know is a problem. It means I forgive myself for giving him a potential "problem" food...forgetting he had something just last nite that could have caused a reaction. It isn't possible to remember everything all the time, or to figure it out completely, or to follow up on every potential diet/study/concept I am exposed to here online. I have had to take a couple hiatuses from reading and posting here...the sheer amount of info can just get to be crazy.

When I really get down, I remind myself that the professionals who went to medical school (and whose job it is to figure out what's wrong and what to do) weren't able to do as well as I did...and that makes me proud and a little more fortified/ stubborn. There have been very few who even respected my concerns, much less echoed them. But he has gotten so much better.
Doing this seriously requires going against everyone...even DP occasionally in my case. It is unbelievably hard. I have faced some tough things before, but this takes every cell of my being sometimes. And it's scary...what if I am wrong? What if I miss something? If it is me that does all the figuring, then I feel like the outcome is my responsibility.

Well, hope this post is sort of helpful at least.

And the previous posters saying we are sometimes not sane...well, they aren't kidding.
I agree totally with this! We do the best we can and move on, practice forgiveness. Beating myself up accomplishes nothng. For me the hardest part is having everyone, dr's included think I'm crazy, be dismissive. Like telling me they think he has some sort of "allergy" but not being interested in pursuing it to find out what it is.

However, some days I just have to not think about it and just do. I have spent months at a time completely absorbed and it isn't the healthiest thing for me, personally. I have other obligations. Life is busy enough as it is. I had times when I forget it completely, went in total denial. After the house burned down- had a baby 2 days later- I absolutely positively was on the brink of going crazy from the stress. After that experience I am much more laid back about it all (which is pathetic that this is me calmed down ) However, sometimes you have to just function, not analyze. Sometimes I go with the best information I have and work from there. There will always be somebody or something new coming to say- you need to try this or that or what have you.

For me I live it one day at a time. This is reality right now, what it will be 1 yr, 2 yrs from now I don't know you. Right now honestly I am still trying to get our eating completely back in order from the chaos that has been life for nearly the past 1.5 yrs. Life still isn't back to normal here. I make most foods homemade, try to get some nice healing foods in us; bone broth, clo etc. But I am sure there are many places I am lacking. That is what I am able to do right now. When I get some test results (finally in) we will go from there and change and modify and grow as we need.

Happily Married to my : 11 yrs- Mama to wild-eyed monkey boy 7-04, fiery little girl 4-07, and the happy smiley baby that sleeps 11-09!
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#11 of 13 Old 10-02-2008, 09:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
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It is great to have the support of these boards. I am just so sick of everyone else not believing me. I hate that feeling!
Thanks for your support-I am recharged and will plow on!
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#12 of 13 Old 10-02-2008, 12:23 PM
 
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It is great to have the support of these boards. I am just so sick of everyone else not believing me. I hate that feeling!
Thanks for your support-I am recharged and will plow on!
I'm with you. It's really hard to continue what you know is right if everyone else is telling you it's wrong, or you're crazy, it's all in your head...

Just keep hanging out here on the Allergy board and you'll get lots of support!! I don't know how I would have ever made it this far without these mamas- I really can't say that enough.

Mom to DD1 (10/07) and DD2 (3/11)
geek.gif I blog about our life with food allergies and eosinophilic disorders.
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#13 of 13 Old 10-02-2008, 12:41 PM
 
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Yep, I love this board. I feel like I know you all and I'm so grateful to have like-minded (and first-hand understanding) mamas as a sounding board.

Nessa, DD1 (5) DD2 (3) & expecting again in late February/early March!
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