We relocated and I just took him to a new dentist. After looking at his teeth and not using any tools determined that he needs 4 crowns and all but one tooth filled. He said it was my fault my breastmilk ruined my son's teeth. That he would require two hours of anesthesia in a hospital OR to fix my son's teeth.
I was shocked when I left his office. The next day I called to cancel this invasive dental work. The office called me three times asking me if I was sure I wanted to cancel his appointments??
We plan on taking him for a second opinion. I am not convinced he has cavities no xrays were taken. Quite frankly before 6 its dangerous to take xrays. But still I am truly disgusted by this.
First the dentist said its because you bottle fed him. No he was ebf. Then he said its because of using sippy cups. Again no ebf and he drank directly out of the cup. Excessive candy, no I do not allow him to eat hard, chewy etc candies. On occasion I allow dark chocolate. The next was its because of bread and peanut butter!?!? I purchase ground peanut butter or almond butter. The bread id whole wheat or sprouted wheat. At this point he became annoyed and said it was "my" fault. My breastmilk destroyed his teeth.
As a child I remember year after year of nonstop dental visits always the same fillings. The dental work that this "dentist" wants to do will as a fact cause nonstop problems. I refuse to subject my son to a lifetime of problems. I found a dentist I trust and will have him look at my toddlers teeth.
regardless of if your child needs dental work, you need a different dentist. Searching for a reason and placing blame regarding a 3 year olds teeth is crazy. Especially since you said his teeth were seen a year ago and were fine.
So, new dentist. Ask around your area for recommendations. 2 of my kids (and me) see a family dentist, one of mine sees a pediatric dentist due to his extensive issues. There are real, frustrating things that can happen to kids' teeth that need to be fixed. You'll want someone you trust doing the work, should it come to that.
Not your fault. There's this common misconception that if you just brush your teeth twice a day and floss, your teeth will be perfect, and if you get cavities its because you just didn't brush enough. That's simply not true. Cavities are caused by bacteria. Brushing helps, no doubt about it, but if the dominant bacteria strain your mouth is colonized with is the cavity causing variety, it will take a good bit of very deliberate effort to prevent decay. Still surprised that he needs so much work without you being able to see anything. Did the dentist explain that? Between teeth where its hard to see maybe?