First dental visit and what to expect - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 96 Old 07-30-2002, 11:10 PM
 
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Thanks guys! I didnt feel like it was so unusual until I got the negative reaction from the staff. I guess I'm going to continue my search for another dentist. I just didnt feel comfortable with how strongly they felt abt me being there. Nice to know I'm not the only one that goes back.
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#62 of 96 Old 07-31-2002, 12:45 AM
 
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Well, I'm not smilemomma (who I am in awe of as I've been lurking a bit and I'm a newish dentist), and I hope she doesn't mind me butting in...

The American Academy of Pediatric Dentists would like all children to be seen as soon as the first tooth comes in really, or at least by age one.

Most dentists like to see them at 3, but I personally like them to come in with mom for a peak occasionally after they start getting teeth, and then (unless there is a problem) we start actually seeing them at 3.

My personaly experience is don't trust your pediatrician when it comes to your child's teeth, they don't know much.

Mom to a 6 year old, a 3 year old, and a cuddly little newborn
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#63 of 96 Old 07-31-2002, 12:56 AM
 
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Well, I'll butt in again

It is generally true that kids are better behaved when they come back alone. But if you got the vibe that something was wrong you should trust your instincts and you should keep looking, you have to be comfortable not the hygienist..

I personally prefer most children to come back alone but we play it by ear and make that decision on a child to child basis as well, not automatically assuming that they'll be better alone. It is always discussed with the parents first. We are also set up so that the parents can pull up a chair right outside the room and outside the child's line of vision, but where they can see everything that's going on. I wouldn't have it any other way.

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#64 of 96 Old 07-31-2002, 02:04 AM
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The American Academy of Pediatric Dentists would like all children to be seen as soon as the first tooth comes in really, or at least by age one.
Sorry, but I am not going to take my one year old to a dentist to be freaked out. I will still wait until age three for the reasons stated above
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#65 of 96 Old 07-31-2002, 09:59 AM
 
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Originally posted by SomedayMom
Well, I'll butt in again

It is generally true that kids are better behaved when they come back alone.
IMO they are probably more scared without a parent and less likely to act that out because there's nobody familiar to act out too. That doesn't = better behaved to me. I'm sure there are some kids that are just trouble makers that give you a hard time, but I don't think most kids are that way. I've had bad dental experiences and there's no way I'm not going to be there for my children to make sure that doesn't happen to them. None of my kids have ever given the dentist any problems anyway.
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#66 of 96 Old 07-31-2002, 05:04 PM
 
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And as the parent DD, that's perfectly your judgement to make, but for those that would like to go earlier with a good ped. dentist, or just cooperative adult dentist, there may not be a need to be "freaked out"...they can sit on your lap while the dentist takes a peek, the kid plays with the equipment, and not do any routine cleanings etc., until they're older. I know a 3 yr old who had root canals and extractions, and had to have spacers to hold open the gaps for his permament teeth. He, now age 11, still has a slight speech impediment since he was missing his front teeth for so long while he was learning to talk. That was an awful experience I would like to avoid - starting with prevention at home of course! Most kids never have an experience like that. The parents, my friends, didn't think there was a problem until it was very far advanced since they believed the ped who told them to go at age 3.

I guess I'd rather have the dentist be a pleasant, non-scary, non-painful thing first, so it's not a scary new unfamiliar experience at the same time something more uncomfortable would need to be done. You know your own child best...mine loves new people and new situations, so I think she'd love the dentist! Hopefully, with prevention at home, we can avoid any owie stuff.
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#67 of 96 Old 07-31-2002, 06:14 PM
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They can sit on your lap? That would be cool. I am just worried we will get a jerk of a dentist and I'll have to knock some of HIS teeth out (j/k).

I do like the idea of the dentist being a normal nonscary part of life and going early on would make a big difference in that.

I don't think Kailey would mind seeing a dentist, but if he turned out to be a jerk I would be afraid of that experience ruining it.

My ped suggested 3 because of the wiggly issue and her being to young to understand what is going on. I love my PED and respect his advice. He is totally kid friendly and openminded to all things. In fact he was the one would suggested not getting some of our vaccines He is also pr bfing and pro anything else I want for Kailey. The guy is like putty
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#68 of 96 Old 07-31-2002, 06:33 PM
 
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The variation in dentists seem huge. Some won't even let you be in the room! I would NEVER do that. My dentist (adult) is very laidback and said they'd do it that way (lap) when she was really little. - how else would she stay still? no seatbelts! It's a small homey practice (1 receptionist, 1 hygenist, 1 asst and the dentist) and it looks not super-medical. I have friends who go to ped dentist where it's decorated in a kid -friendly way and they have toys, videos, special kid-flavored/scented stuff for procedures, etc. So I have *heard* that it's nicer with pediatric dentists. I would definitely interview them first. Some mamas here (particularly ones with state insurance) have had trouble finding a nice dentist. If my child needed something major and was going to be anesthetized, I would want to be there when they gave the medication and when they were finishing at the very least...but just a quick exam to make sure things are ok is all I'm anticipating.

Basically, a dentist who loves kids is a necessity. Kids are very curious, esp about themselves, and a lot of dental stuff is education. So a dentist who shows them pictures, stuff in the mirror, demonstrates, explains, etc. I definitely know 2 yo who would get something out of a visit when shown in an age-appropriate way....so I'd think of it as an expensive field trip. (but cheap in the long run!)
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#69 of 96 Old 07-31-2002, 06:51 PM
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Ok, now you got me wanting to take her to the dentist LOL!

She LOVES brushing her teeth and I think with the right dentist she would have a ball!

We can go to any dentist we choose and then my husbands company reembursts us.

I think I'll look in the phone book or call my ped for a reference.

THanks Clarity
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#70 of 96 Old 07-31-2002, 07:16 PM
 
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I start them before they are 2 so they are used to the setting and comfy with going there. Nice to be friends with dentist before he ever has to do any 'work'. Little ones lay on my lap and or sit and watch my teeth get checked first. The hygenist is very good with kids and always takes a polaroid of them to hold and look at and they can pick from some pretty crazy sunglasses to wear. The kids LOVE the cheap plastic toys and the floss they give out.
My 2 year old loves to floss and show off in the dentists' big mirror. It is a very positive experience for them. We have 4 and they get their teeth cleaned about every 8 months, so we are in that office enough the kids do not stress out a bit.
I however went in there last week to learn I need 2 crowns and a composite filling asap. Seems that I have not had MY teeth cleaned since I was last pregnant and there must be some truth to the old wives tale about losing a tooth for each preganancy.. we do not have dental insurance so I put off going myself because of the cost mostly.
I am anal about getting the kids in because my family history is rotten baby teeth and I have every back tooth almost filled. I am a queen now so many crowns lol
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#71 of 96 Old 07-31-2002, 07:53 PM
 
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That's exactly what I meant

We have the kids come in with mom, sit on her lap, make them giggle, take a looksee, and no more. It shouldn't be an experience where they get freaked out and it really doesn't matter if they are wiggly at all. Lets the kiddos get used to us, and lets us see if there might be something going on. We want the kids to be comfortable coming to us, even maybe think that it's fun... Most of us dentists who are willing to see a little one though, do it b/c we really love it, and are therefore usually pretty good with them. The other ones will usually tell you to wait or take them to a pediatric dds. We don't charge anything for these visits either, happy visits plain and simple

I really didn't mean to down your PED who sounds awesome. But even the best of them are not trained with teeth, and I don't agree with that particular piece of advice.

Mom to a 6 year old, a 3 year old, and a cuddly little newborn
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#72 of 96 Old 07-31-2002, 08:39 PM
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I didn't think you were putting down my PED, just ME! LOL!

I agree the PED should stick with what they know, or claim to know anyway, and leave the teeth to the pros
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#73 of 96 Old 07-31-2002, 08:43 PM
 
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Oh my, I'm so sorry you thought that I was putting you down Absolutely not. I truly apologize that that's how I came off

Mom to a 6 year old, a 3 year old, and a cuddly little newborn
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#74 of 96 Old 08-01-2002, 02:17 AM
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Oh NO, I was being sarcastic!
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#75 of 96 Old 08-01-2002, 10:25 AM
 
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Yeah, peds say co-sleeping is dangerous, always vax, give lousy breastfeeding advice, CIO, etc...so this is just one more area where I ignore them. *sigh* I plan to start trying some of the home treatment that this months mothering article on cavities suggested, too.

Oh, if you have any local mama friends that might be a good source for dentist referrals too!
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#76 of 96 Old 08-03-2002, 04:29 AM
 
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Your child is the customer. If s/he wants you there, or seems to (and who would be better able to interpret the signs than you), the hygienist will just have to deal with it. I, for one, would not feel comfy going into a strange room with a stranger 5 times my size, to do something that has been very scary in the past and that involves things that I usually have nothing to do with.

And what AnnMarie said. I would probably also "behave," but out of fear not calmness. Sounds like a Keep Looking Around situation to me!
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#77 of 96 Old 08-05-2002, 01:02 PM
 
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Our ped dentist *expects* parents to come back into the room. They have a bay, rather than individual rooms, so there are lots of people around. They also have video games like centipede, and a nintendo for when kids are gettings meds in prep for dental work. I have to say that he is wonderful. He sings to the kids during exams (winnie the pooh, barney, whatever), his motto is "whatever it takes" to keep them happy and positive about the experience. Ds had to have several cavities filled a couple of weeks ago under GA at the hospital; before hand, when he came to check on us, last minute info, etc he brought ds a stuffed animal. As the meds were taking effect, that kept his attn so that he didn't even notice when he was going down the hall for the gas and IV meds. He was just as happy ad content as could be.

We drive 2 1/2 hours to see this man, he is so good. He also does beautiful work, too. If you are near the Dallas, Ft. Worth area, I can get you his info

Carrie

edited to add: I have never in any of our visits seen a child act up or be scared, crying or nervous in the office. Despite the fact that he has a lot of special needs clients who have anxiety disorders, previous traumatic dental stuff, oral aversions, autism, etc. One time when ds tripped as he came in and cried a second or two, all the staff popped right up to make sure he was okay and not upset about coming in.
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#78 of 96 Old 08-05-2002, 03:58 PM
 
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DD goers to a ped dentist and has been since before her 3rd birthday due to decay. They do prefer the kids alone, although I have done both. A friend wants to bring her son their but said she wanted to be with him. I told her if the ytell you NO, the ycan be pushy, LEAVE. DD loves this dentist (I HATE much of the staff for other reasons) but she says she can't understand why some kids cry (and this day she had gotten 3 fillings!) She is 5 and we are very open. In the beginning I stood by the door and watched at a distance, as time went on I decided waiting was ok. But if they EVER denied me I'd be out.

Follow instincts, and if they say no way, then move on. But if the yexplain their reasons and you are still not in agrement, the yshould gladly let you stand by!!
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#79 of 96 Old 08-05-2002, 04:26 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by queencarr
rather than individual rooms, so there are lots of people around.

Ours is like this too. There are shelves and cabinets separating the "rooms", but you can see from one to the other. At first I thought it was odd, but now I think it adds a sense of security. If something should happen there are people all around that would hear you screaming for help. :LOL

Quote:
Ds had to have several cavities filled a couple of weeks ago under GA at the hospital; before hand, when he came to check on us, last minute info, etc he brought ds a stuffed animal. As the meds were taking effect, that kept his attn so that he didn't even notice when he was going down the hall for the gas and IV meds. He was just as happy ad content as could be.
Now THAT's a good dentist!
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#80 of 96 Old 08-05-2002, 04:54 PM
 
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I always go back with him. Once (maybe 9 mo. ago) he was particularly poorly behaved, and the hygentist told him if he didn't shape up I would have to leave. He did a little better after that. The next time we went I was with him the whole time and he did perfectly. BTW, we've been going there for almost 2 years now, so he really knows the routine by now.
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#81 of 96 Old 08-10-2002, 09:01 PM
 
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I don't know if this has been dealt with, but what I heard this week appalled me, so I wanted to share it. I am a child therapist. I was doing an intake with a mom and little girl. The mom told me a story about taking the little girl to the dentist for the first time when she was 4. The people working in the office discouraged her from accompanying the child back to the chair, and mom reluctantly stayed in the waiting room. After a few minutes, she decided that she felt too uncomfortable turning her little one over to strangers, so she just marched in the back. She found her four year old restrained in a chair in a staight-jacket-like device. The little girl was terrified, but too afraid to scream for her mom. The mom passed another exam room with a little boy restrained in a chair crying. I think this is nuts! No wonder they did not want her back there. I can't imagine how hard it is to work on a little one's teeth, but this is uncalled for. Don't ever let any medical professional tell you that you "can't" be with your child, unless he is unconscious and in surgery, then wait by the operating room door. People think it is ok to do things to kids that they would never dream of doing to adults.
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#82 of 96 Old 08-11-2002, 01:03 AM
 
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I have a friend who, as a kid, once started when the dentist's tool slid off her tooth into her gum--you know, jumped a little from the pain. And he slapped her for it. This was in the 70s.
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#83 of 96 Old 08-11-2002, 10:34 AM
 
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I think that any reputable dentist will allow or even encourage parents to stay with their child at all times. We have an excellent pediatric dentist that all of my kids love. He and his staff are friendly and kind. There is a small table w/chairs set up next to each examining chair for the parents. They treat the kids with respect at all times. The rooms are large with two examining areas in each and each has a TV suspended from the ceiling so the kids can watch a show or a tape to give them something else to think about.

I am appalled to think that there are such horrible things going on. How sad. I hope the mom reported the abuse to the ADA and even the police. No one should be restraining children like that!
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#84 of 96 Old 08-11-2002, 11:05 PM
 
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I couldn't imagine leaving my dd alone with a dentist, doctor, teacher, or any adult I don't already know, for that matter!
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#85 of 96 Old 08-20-2002, 12:12 AM
 
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That's incredible! My family dentist (who recently retired) gave my brother and I our check-ups and treatments while we sat in our mother's lap! He wouldn't have had it any other way. However, it was tricky for them to explain to me why, at the age of 5, I couldn't sit in my mom's lap while she was getting HER teeth cleaned.
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#86 of 96 Old 08-20-2002, 12:59 AM
 
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Oh, this brings back such horrible memories. When I was four years old (1982,) I was sent to a pediatric dentist to have a cavity filled. They took me in the back without my mom, strapped me down hand and foot, and all I remember after that is someone leaning over me saying, "Do you like Straw-berrr-eee?" and me saying, "N-n-n-no." Mom heard me screaming. I came out with marks on my wrists and ankles. I now have recurring nightmares about that trip to the dentist.

It gets better. Our regular dentist was a real quack. Ended up in a mental hospital after his wife AND his receptionist left him. But before that, he decided to pull my four front teeth on the top before they were even loose. Without anesthetic. He told me to pull on his right arm if it hurt. He was pulling my teeth out with his right hand. The logical consequences of pulling on his arm did not escape me. He was also pulling off insurance fraud by pretending to give fillings. He said my sister needed a filling, booked an appointment, took her in the back, gassed her, and she came out with no filling. Apparently, there was no cavity in the first place, but our insurance sure got the bill.

I still have problems going to the dentist. I haven't been in two years. When I was a teenager, there was an episode where I had some sort of flashback and wouldn't open my mouth at the dentist's office. It was really bad. But there are some good dentists out there. My brother-in-law is one, and his dad is another, but they live in another state, so I'm still half-heartedly looking for a gentle dentist.

Do go in the back with your child. If the dentist doesn't want you to, run like mad and don't look back. Haven't you all seen "Little Shop of Horrors?"
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#87 of 96 Old 11-03-2002, 10:51 PM
 
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My son is almost six years old and has never been to the dentist. His teeth have been looked at by dental assistants that came to visit his school. They say his teeth look good. I'm in the school of thought that if there is not a problem don't fix it. But I am starting to feel a sense of guilt by not having him see the dentist. Should I go ahead and do it? What is the recommended age a child should see the dentist? When do you recommend the first x-ray? How long can I postpone X-rays? Thanks...
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#88 of 96 Old 11-03-2002, 11:18 PM
 
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I think I'd go just to make sure there is no problem that needs to be fixed. Aside from the security, I think it'd be nice if his first impression of dentistry were a positive one

And I figure you can get away with no x-rays if his mouth looks healthy overall, but smilemomma will probably disagree
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#89 of 96 Old 11-10-2002, 06:44 AM
 
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[
Great I'll invite you to my next party, smilemomma. Halloween party, that is
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#90 of 96 Old 11-16-2002, 08:00 PM
 
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Thanks to everyone who replied to my thread. I am going to make an appointment with the dentist first thing on Monday morning.
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