Horrific appointment for 18 month old today. Happy update, post #12!! - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 09-29-2008, 12:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
Pumpkin_Pie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Vermont
Posts: 4,587
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I took my son to a dentist when he was 12 months to get his teeth checked, and because I have some unfilled cavities, they wanted to see him back in 6 months due to his increased risk. I am assuming it was because of the bacteria transfer that can happen between mama and child.

Anyway, I went to a new dentist with him today for his 18 month check. The new dentist was very close to my home, and a pediatric dentist, so I was hoping they would be gentle with us. Ummm yeah. Not.At.All....

As soon as we got into the room with the chair and the hygenist, DS asked to nurse. I tried to tell him that we could nurse in a bit, but he was tugging my shirt down, and starting to cry, so we nursed. The hygenist started to tell my that he really should have been weaned by 12 months, and that I was hurting his teeth by continuing to nurse. She also was horrified that I was still nursing him at night. I didn't say much at that point, but did keep right on nursing. He was obviously stressed out already, and I wasn't about to make it worse.

When she if I had any concerns about his teeth, I said that I really wanted help with figuring out how to brush them. She got very condescending at that point and said that I just had to do it. I tried to explain to her that I really didn't know how to pin him down to actually get in there, and she just kept repeating that I am the mama and I am much bigger and stronger than he is and I just need to do it. Yeah, thanks for that....Not helpful.

So then the dentist comes in. He had DS sit facing me straddling my lap and had him lay back onto my legs so he could look in his mouth. DS had yellow plaque and white spots on his teeth and his gums bled when they brushed his teeth. The dentist repeated that he needed to wean completely and should have at 12 months and that my continuing to harm my child by nursing would lead to his teeth rotting out of his head, needing to be put under anesthesia and all of his teeth being pulled.

I again tried to ask how to hold him down to brush his teeth and the dentist gave me the same condescending, "You just need to do it" line. He then said if I could get another person morning and night to help hold him like we just had that I could do that. Yeah thanks. I am a single mama...

After brushing his teeth, he said, "We need to apply some topical flouride to harden his teeth back up so they won't rot out" and proceeded to paint it on to them. I didn't want them to put it on, but I felt so overwhelmed at that point, that I let them. He then said after the fact "You have to make him wait 30 minutes before eating or drinking to let the flouride take effect." Um right. I am not going to nurse my screaming toddler....Thanks for that.

I finally said, "I need the actual physical mechanics of how to hold him to brush his teeth. I am sorry that I am an idiot, but I can't envision how to pin him down and still have a hand free to brush." He then did help me to get him pinned down on the floor and his mouth open in my lap, which was a huge help, but left me feeling like the absolute most idiotic person on the planet.

He then tried to talk to me about how my pediatrician should have talked to me at 12 months about weaning and how it was so damaging for him to be still nursing. I said, "I am not going to discuss weaning my son. He is way too young to wean and if he wants to nurse until he is 6, he is going to do so. I am not having this conversation."

The dentist then went and found some pictures of kids teeth that were getting the white spots and cavities to show me the damage that I was doing by not listening to them about weaning. At that point I just wanted to get out of there. I was in tears, DS was screaming and thrashing trying to nurse, and I was feeling about as big as a speck of dirt. They really, truly thought I was abusing my child by not weaning and that I was an absolute idiot for not knowing how to brush my child's teeth.

Needless to say, we are definitely not going back there ever again.

Does anyone have any ideas on how I can help my son's teeth? We are obviously going to be brushing twice a day with pinning him down from here on out (not that I am looking forward to that twice a day....), but any other ideas would be welcome. I don't want him to have cavities, but I am not willing to wean either. I am just in shock at what happened today. I wanted to kick their teeth in!

Formerly single Mama to the zaniest boy on the block, born on my birthday on 3/28/07. Soon to be Mama to a new little and can't wait to bfinfant.gif and femalesling.GIF and familybed1.gif again! 
Pumpkin_Pie is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 09-29-2008, 01:24 PM
 
tanyalynn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: TX, but anticipating one more move
Posts: 11,489
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Wow. after that visit! No advice on the dental stuff, though there are lots of great threads around. And wow--what, exactly, is your child supposed to be consuming, fluid-wise, if not human milk? Water's great, but do they really advocate only water after 12 months??? Guess they're not real big on evidence-based healthcare at that place.
tanyalynn is offline  
Old 09-29-2008, 01:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
Pumpkin_Pie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Vermont
Posts: 4,587
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have been digging around the dental forum here and am finding so much great info. I just tried joining alternativekidsteeth though, and was rejected.

I think I am going to get us both on raw dairy, and once DS wakes up from his nap, we are headed over to our local heath food store to find some Xylitol toothpaste/mints/etc. I am also going to cut raisins and dried apricots out of our diets. DS loves raisins, but I hadn't thought about how sticky they are on his teeth. We can definitely find other snacks that are just as healthy but lower sugar and not nearly as sticky for him.

Formerly single Mama to the zaniest boy on the block, born on my birthday on 3/28/07. Soon to be Mama to a new little and can't wait to bfinfant.gif and femalesling.GIF and familybed1.gif again! 
Pumpkin_Pie is offline  
Old 09-29-2008, 01:44 PM
 
rockportmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Beautiful Rockport, Texas
Posts: 703
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Learning & growing & changing everyday!
rockportmama is offline  
Old 09-29-2008, 01:50 PM
 
Amylcd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 3,808
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wow That sounds horrible. As for brushing, I just put a little toothpaste on the toothbrush and let my 17 month old chew on it.

knit.gifMom of Many  jumpers.gif

Amylcd is offline  
Old 09-29-2008, 03:46 PM
 
tanyalynn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: TX, but anticipating one more move
Posts: 11,489
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group...ec=group&slk=1

Check out veryyoungkidsteeth, a different yahoo group. I looked at the other one you mentioned, I'm wondering if it's affiliated with that magazine and you need a subscription to the magazine (which may be UK-based) first.
tanyalynn is offline  
Old 09-29-2008, 08:00 PM
 
milkybean's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: western washington
Posts: 1,594
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Definitely join veryyoungkidsteeth!

And check your "tribe" area asking for specific recommendations for dentists. MDC is how we found our WONDERFUL ped dentist! Now I'll admit that I don't think we ever actually TOLD him that DS still nurses (well he's almost weaned now but back when he started under Ben's care he was still voracious), but what DS eats has NEVER come up with him. He just wants to take care of DS's teeth in the best way possible!

And since when DS went to him, he had a BIG cavity behind his two front teeth (filled with NO medicine and NO holding DS down) and he had to have the teeth on either side of the upper middles extracted (no holding DS down and just a smidge of lidocaine), another dentist certainly could have commented on foods (and the guy we went to before Ben certainly did!). But I think Ben likes his time, and so he just got to the work we were paying him for.
milkybean is offline  
Old 09-29-2008, 09:22 PM
 
chaoticzenmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 4,666
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We had a similar thing happen (without the breastfeeding lecture) a month or so ago. I had a very condescending dr. and I was already so stressed for my daughter and wanting her to have a nice visit that I consented to the flouride treatments after I had already told him that I did not want to have them and that I buy non-flouridated products. I'm usually much more confrontational than that, but I wasn't that day. I found a holistic dentist that next day (by asking my tribe) and transerred all of my daughter's stuff to them. It felt good to call that office and tell them to cancel all her appts and the appts for the rest of my family because we had decided to use a different dentist.LOL The secretary's "uh, ok" confusion was nice and I'm sure (at least I hope) that she informed the dentist.

Actually, when I got to the holistic dentist, I was like "all my kids have the same cavity and I wonder if it was from breastfeeding lying down." She kind of brushed me off and said "breastfeeding doesn't cause cavities" She mentioned that it could be a "meridian" issue.LOL Apparently those meridian issues can be heriditary. So, really, the whole breastfeeding causing cavities is about as crazy as the meridian being unbalanced causing cavities. Whatever, she fixes my kids teeth with no meds, no metals or flourids and no pain, so she can be as holisticly crazy as she wants.

No stress, just keep looking. It's hard, I know. You might have to have those x-rays transfered a few times before you find that right one.

Lisa

Our children make a study of us in a way no one else ever will.  If we don't act according to our values, they will know.~Starhawk Rainbow.gif  New  User Agreement! http://www.mothering.com/community/wiki/user-agreement

chaoticzenmom is offline  
Old 09-29-2008, 09:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
Pumpkin_Pie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Vermont
Posts: 4,587
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
He didn't get any x-rays, so no worries about those. I really don't even want the records. They really just counted his teeth, painted on some flouride (which will not happen again), and brushed them.

I talked to a friend who is a LC this morning and she gave me a rec of a dentist near me who nursed all of her children until at least 3 and is totally ok with nursing beyond a year. I called her today and haven't heard back. I will try again tomorrow, hopefully she is taking clients on, or can recommend a dentist who is and who is bf'ing friendly.

Now that I have had a few hours to think rationally about it, I am so glad I spoke up for breast feeding the way that I did. I said I wouldn't even have a conversation about weaning him with the dentist, and I really didn't care what they had to say, I was not going to even entertain the idea. I made it extremely clear that it was not something that was even remotely appropriate to bring up with me.

I am also glad that they did show me how to pin DS down to quickly brush his teeth effectively. We did it tonight, and even though he got upset, he didn't completely lose it and it was over in a few seconds. I was so impressed with the way that I was able to hold him and how easy it was to get at all of his teeth without having him flailing around, hurting himself and me. At least some small good came out of the visit.

I did end up joining both Yahoo groups. I thought I was rejected by alternativekidsteeth, but apparently it was just a weird message that the mods send out at first to everyone. Both are a great resource. I can't wait to sit down and really read a bunch of the messages.

Thanks for the replies mamas. I know I can get through this.

Formerly single Mama to the zaniest boy on the block, born on my birthday on 3/28/07. Soon to be Mama to a new little and can't wait to bfinfant.gif and femalesling.GIF and familybed1.gif again! 
Pumpkin_Pie is offline  
Old 10-01-2008, 05:42 AM
 
milkybean's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: western washington
Posts: 1,594
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
He went into that withOUT taking xrays? And all he did was brush teeth? There was nothing wrong with your son's teeth??????

Do you live near Tacoma? Because if you do I would bet a million dollars you went to see the guy we saw before we found our great ped dentist. He's in Lakewood WA (the one we do NOT see).
milkybean is offline  
Old 10-01-2008, 10:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
Pumpkin_Pie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Vermont
Posts: 4,587
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by milkybean View Post
He went into that withOUT taking xrays? And all he did was brush teeth? There was nothing wrong with your son's teeth??????

Do you live near Tacoma? Because if you do I would bet a million dollars you went to see the guy we saw before we found our great ped dentist. He's in Lakewood WA (the one we do NOT see).
My son was seen at 12 months when he had only 6 teeth in the front and those looked great. The dentist we saw was pretty far away from home and not a pediatric dentist, although he does see children. I decided to go to this new dentist because he is about a mile from my home and he is a ped dentist. The previous dentist said DS was at higher risk for cavities because I have unrepaired decay, so he needed to be seen every 6 months. This was just a 6 month checkup. Do they usually do x-rays at a regular checkup for an 18 month old? I really have no idea what "normal" is. (learning on the fly here)

When the dentist looked in his mouth on Monday, he noticed yellow spots up near the gumline when he was just looking, and at that point wanted to show me how to brush his teeth (actual brushing, not holding, which I needed help with). He brushed them, counted them and then put the topical fluoride on. When the yellow plaque was brushed off, he saw the white spots that were underneath that he said was the pre-cursor to cavities.

Hope that helps!

As an update, I have been religiously brushing DS's teeth morning and night, and he is actually tolerating it MUCH better than I thought he would. I lay him on the couch with his head in my lap and my leg over his body and arms and just get in there and brush. I take my time to make sure we really get every surface, and although he protests, it isn't really hard crying, more of just frustration on his part. Never any tears, and I am not really holding him down all that firmly. After I brush his teeth, I sit him on my lap and he brushes for a few minutes too. He seems to really enjoy doing it himself, and I figured it was lessening the trauma of me doing it for him too, so that is our routine for now.

We cut out all dried fruit and fruit leathers, and in the evening after we brush, I don't let him have any solids at all, only breast milk. He is loving the raw milk we got on Monday, and I bought some Xylitol mints and gum for myself. I want to get some crystalized Xylitol for DS to mix into a toddler toothpaste as well. We will beat this and his teeth will not rot out and we will not wean! :

ETA: I live in Vermont, not anywhere near Tacoma, but I do want to get the word out about how anti-breast feeding this office was. I wonder if it is ok to post that in FYT?

Formerly single Mama to the zaniest boy on the block, born on my birthday on 3/28/07. Soon to be Mama to a new little and can't wait to bfinfant.gif and femalesling.GIF and familybed1.gif again! 
Pumpkin_Pie is offline  
Old 10-01-2008, 01:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
Pumpkin_Pie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Vermont
Posts: 4,587
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
So, DS went in for his 18 month WBV today and the dentist that we saw when he was 12 months old shares the reception area, so I went over to chat with them after his appointment. I asked them if they were ok with nursing beyond 12 months, and the receptionist gave me a funny look and said, "There are tons of kids who nurse to 3 or 4 or beyond, it is your parenting choice, and doesn't really have anything to do with their teeth." ::: I wanted to jump through the window and hug her!

I told them about my experience at the dentist on Monday and a few hygienists popped their heads in and agreed that it was completely out of line and that weaning shouldn't have even come up. They said that even if DS has decay, they would work with us to find a solution that I am ok with rather than simply ordering me to wean. They also said that white spots can be caused by fevers as teeth are breaking through and he actually might not have any signs of decay at all. We made an appointment for next April, and I can't wait!

Formerly single Mama to the zaniest boy on the block, born on my birthday on 3/28/07. Soon to be Mama to a new little and can't wait to bfinfant.gif and femalesling.GIF and familybed1.gif again! 
Pumpkin_Pie is offline  
Old 10-03-2008, 06:34 PM
 
beingmommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 496
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wow! I had a very similar experience just last week! I had noticed that my 15 month old DS's two top front teeth looked discolored and jagged at the bottom so I took him to a ped dentist. He was awful! Told me I had to wean, said I needed to find other ways to placate my son and all that. He said my son had cavities in his top teeth and would have to be put under GA when he was two and may have to have the teeth pulled!

I will be taking my son to a different dentist on Monday and have heard really good things about her. I talked to her receptionist when I made the appt and she was like, "You do not have to wean!" And she said this new dentist should be able to help me stop and possibly reverse some of the decay. My hope is we can hold it at bay until my son is old enough for conscious sedation or even very gentle fillings.

We have also started with the Xylitol brushing. My son still doesn't eat much solids so he has to nurse a lot and at night too.

So terrible that some dentists can be so misinformed!

Wife to DHguitar.gif, Mama to DS1 luxlove.gifribbonjigsaw.gif (06/2007) and DS2 baby.gif (06/2013), missing babies (mc 08/2006 @ 5 weeks) and (missed mc 06/2012 @ 11 weeks)

 

 

 

beingmommy is offline  
Old 10-03-2008, 06:47 PM
 
Vancouver Mommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 1,618
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm very sorry you had such a bad experience. Glad you got some better info though. I took my kids to a pediatric dentist a few weeks ago and he didn't say anything about night nursing, except to suggest that I try either wiping his teeth with a cloth when he's done or giving him a sip of water to rinse the milk off his teeth.

Diane, SAHM to DD (June 05) and DS (April 07).
::::
Vancouver Mommy is offline  
Old 02-13-2009, 12:00 AM
 
cloe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 168
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by TanyaLopez View Post
Wow. after that visit! No advice on the dental stuff, though there are lots of great threads around. And wow--what, exactly, is your child supposed to be consuming, fluid-wise, if not human milk? Water's great, but do they really advocate only water after 12 months??? Guess they're not real big on evidence-based healthcare at that place.
cloe is offline  
Old 02-13-2009, 03:53 AM
 
luv2bamommy2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 283
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
A great way to take care of little people' teeth is with Spiffies [ www.spiffies.com ]. My youngsters love the grape and apple-flavored ones, and there is no forcing. Because of the Xylitol they taste great yet they won't get cavities from them. Also read www.zellies.com, Dr Ellie says that if you bf all you need to do is wipe the inside of your little ones mouth with one of these wipes and they are safe.

I did/still do this with my little boy [now almost 4] and his sister 21 months. It is really simple and easy AND it protects little teeth [actually it protects big people teeth too!]

My mom gets them from www.dentist.net because it has always taken only 3 days from ordering to them being at the post office for pick-up.
luv2bamommy2 is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off