Things that sound bad out of context... Share yours - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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Old 02-01-2009, 01:16 AM
 
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: OMG I am dying here. This is great stuff.
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Old 02-01-2009, 01:16 AM
 
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This thread is great!! My DS1 also says pu$$y instead of Percy.
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Old 02-01-2009, 01:50 AM
 
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DS is really getting the hang of the "K" sound, but the "X" sound isn't happening yet. He has a fox in socks doll, which is, of course "fok". He was saying this today, and DH asked him "Is that your fox, buddy?" To which he replied "fok buddy".

SAHM to Declan (12/12/06) and Blythe (2/9/09)
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Old 02-01-2009, 01:52 AM
 
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oh!oh! I just thought of another doozy...

we're at DD1's (age 7) soccer practice, and DD2, then age 3, yells

"I love this team cause they're all WHITE KIDS!!"

i have no idea where it came from, but omg i wanted to die.

oh another DD2 story:
Me (jokingly): How come you been so naughty today?
Her: Cause I hate pants.
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Old 02-01-2009, 02:03 AM
 
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For a while my dd would spontaneously yell "gay bar! gay bar!!" My dh blamed my Queer as Folk watching. It took a long time for us to figure it out, because by the time we looked out the window the "skateboard" would be long gone!

mama to two DD's, 7 and 3 (3 rounds of IVF and more FET's than I can remember)
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Old 02-01-2009, 03:19 AM
 
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Originally Posted by 3pink1blue View Post

oh another DD2 story:
Me (jokingly): How come you been so naughty today?
Her: Cause I hate pants.
Hilarious and honest, I love it!

I'm going to remember that when people ask me why I'm moody...

Kas (24), Helpmeet to Stefan (25), Mom to Franklin Gaudelio 4/15/09, Jonathan Boswell 1/2/11
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Old 02-01-2009, 04:08 AM
 
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Oh, god... crying laughing... thank you!!!

--"Mama Bear" : to DD 8/06
Tree-hugging :, queer-loving , liberal, feminist hippie mom! :
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Old 02-02-2009, 03:22 AM
 
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Originally Posted by darien View Post
Today ds4 was pushing a picture of Pres. Obama across the kitchen floor by blowing on it (Who knows why!). I was in his path, so he decided to go under me, saying "Spread your legs for President Obama, Mommy!"
OMG! Can't. Breathe.

Betsy, mama to beautiful, strong MZ twins Lillian and Kate, born 11 weeks early on January 10, 2006.
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Old 02-02-2009, 02:27 PM
 
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I have been working on getting to DH tame down his potty mouth language around our 27 month DS. AND I do have to say DH is trying...however last night at our Super Bowl party DS started repeating "so and so is a DOUCHE BAG" changing the names to all the people at the party. Everyone at the party thought it was funny and were laughing so DS kept repeating it. Luckily it was a party where we were all friends so it wasn't a BIG deal THIS time.

I hope DH understands now why I am such a stickler about his language around the boy. DS is very verbal and can repeat most things we say so they are understandable.

DS is 4!
DD 8/10/10!
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Old 02-02-2009, 08:10 PM
 
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omg I am laughing so hard Lil Miss is mad at me (she's trying to rest in my lap cuz she's sick)

but here's one:

My eldest son was about 3 and he had discovered the joy of Disney movies on VHS. his current fave was "The Jungle Book" wherein one of the characters (Baloo the bear) is considered a "bum" by the other character (Bagheera the puma)

Well we were in a waiting room once and he was playing with all the toys that were there. Then another little girl came in and started playing too. At one point she got in the way of him on a trike and he got mad. So he pointed at her and yelled "you stupid jungle bum!"
The little girl was black and I just. about. died.

We had a little talk about calling people names. ANY names.
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Old 02-03-2009, 01:03 PM
 
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A few months ago at dinner, we were being silly and saying "this dinner tastes like... <whatever random noun>." I don't remember how it got started. However, I do know it ended when DD1 (3.5yo) started looking around the room and yelled "this dinner tastes like balls!".

This was the same week as the "fricken fricken fricken fricken damn it spoon!" (I do say fricken; my mother says damn it.)

Nessa, DD1 (5) DD2 (3) & expecting again in late February/early March!
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Old 02-03-2009, 01:25 PM
 
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this is not so much a "sounds bad out of context" kind of thing, more of a study in what you should do/not do around your kids!

when I was around 2.5 my mom and i were at a family dinner at western sizzlin or some place like that, and I of course was seated at the head of the table in my high chair. Mom says that I politely stood up in my chair and announced to the entire restaurant that "my daddy smokes p*t!" she said that she wanted to die.......lol

Alexas , Wife to Bobby , mama to Macie Quinn(6)dust.gif Emery Pearl (3)energy.gifand Baby Boy due in July belly.gif

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Old 02-03-2009, 03:16 PM
 
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Yeah, this not an "out of context" tale, but a friend knew exactly where her American toddler learned his first "bad word" because in her husband's British accent, the toddler got frustrated and shouted "BLOODY HELL!"

Happy with my DH, 2 kids, dog, fish, and frogs
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Old 02-03-2009, 04:18 PM
 
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OMG these are hilarious. "Spread your legs for Obama"... LMAO.

Not really out of context but toddler pronunciation issues... DS has a book with a peacock in it - he's nutty about the peacock. It is green and the picture is pretty big. He likes it when I sing and use the word "peacock" randomly in the song... like, Slient Night becomes Silent Peacock. Anyway, when we are out & about and he wants me to sing a silly peacock song he will yell "MAMA GREEN COCK!" or "MAMA BIG COCK!" Why it can't just be peacock, IDK.

And "flag" sound like "f*ck"... and he loves to point out flags when we're out... "more f*uck please! see f*uck??? good f*uck!! ohhh biiiig f*uck!"
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Old 02-03-2009, 08:33 PM
 
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Ela's toy Motorcycle broke and so I told her; "Nonno Renzo will fix it."

About an hour later she piped up; "F*ck it, f*ck it. Renzo. F*ck it!" I had no idea what she was talking about and where she got this word. (I was about to get really mad at DH. ) Then she follows with; "Moto, Renzo f*ck it!" OOoohhhh.

Honestly, I don't know how she gets some of her pronunciations.
The oddest one is "Pastis", which is how she says "Teletubbies".

-- Miss 1928 -- and Opera Singing Mamma to Eloisa -- 12 Feb 2007
-- Wife to a Wonderful Husband and Pianist -- 27 March 2003
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Old 02-04-2009, 12:48 PM
 
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These are making me laugh so loud I hope I don't wake the kids.. DD doesn't talk much yet (has absolutely no interest in talking most of the time) but heres the few i remember her doing over the last week.
We were in church and I forgot what I had told her but she repeated it as "f*ck" over and over. The people's faces were priceless.
My husband is away right now on a ship (hes a Marine) and when we were seeing him off I showed DD the ship he would be on. So, it had been 4 days and we were at the supermarket around a whole bunch of men in uniform and DD asked where Daddy was, I replyed on the ship remember. She repeated "Daddy sh*t, Daddy Sh*t" over and over again thoughout the whole store.

~Heather~ Mama to Miss E (1/07), Miss A (11/08), Mr.T (2/11) and Miss A (10/12) Expecting our newest blessing sometime late Sept/early Oct.. Wife to my Marine since 11/2005
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Old 02-04-2009, 05:51 PM
 
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My DD went through a phase where no matter what you talked about, she would say, "I like fill in the blank." I like carrots! I like the dining room chair! I like that tree!

A few days before New Years Day I took her with me to do several errands and one was picking up some champagne. She stood in the aisle of the liquor store and loudly said, "I like wine!"
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Old 02-05-2009, 02:07 PM
 
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Yesterday DH and I had dropped a car off to the mechanic and I jumped back into the car DH was driving with the kids in it and DS nods solemnly and says "mom... whore, mom... whore" repeatedly. I responded "Noooo mommy's not a whore sweetie" but he was very persistent! I realized much later that he meant store!
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Old 02-05-2009, 02:16 PM
 
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Originally Posted by darien View Post
Today ds4 was pushing a picture of Pres. Obama across the kitchen floor by blowing on it (Who knows why!). I was in his path, so he decided to go under me, saying "Spread your legs for President Obama, Mommy!"
laughup:: Possibly the funniest thing I've ever read on MDC!

thalia loves Jesus and DH wordyeight and DD#1 : 8/2007 and DD#2 9/2010
and remembering: little turtle 5/23/2006 and poppyseed 7/15/2009
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Old 02-06-2009, 02:05 PM
 
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These are funny.

My son is a Thomas the Tank Engine fan, BIG TIME. Only he pronounces Percy as "pussy." I hope that's okay to say... but anyway, Percy and Emily (the trains) are his favorites. We had an Emily (person) over visiting and my sister was trying to get him to say Emily, since it's one of his favorite words. Well, he wouldn't. "I want Percy!" instead Didn't come out well.

My son does the same thing! Why in the world would the Thomas people ever name a train Percy, I have no idea! So, I think this is great fun and I'm telling my son to tell daddy that he likes Percy. I'm laughing and my DH says how horrible that is and I ask DH if you'd rather hear about how much our son loves the clock....

Married to one of the last good guys left Jim
Mom to AJ 4/07 and Genevieve 5/09

And then: I'm really, really tired of making angels.

But wait, could it really be true?


The whole story at: www.xerxella.blogspot.com
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Old 02-06-2009, 03:10 PM
 
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again... I think I'm going into labor from laughing so hard!

j/k It's a bit too early for that.

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Old 02-06-2009, 04:25 PM
 
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DD is of course quite amused by talking about penises and vulvas. I get blow by blow accounts of random days (sometimes weeks ago) with what she was doing with her friend, and then her friend had a dirty diaper, and then the friend's mom cleaned it up, and then they played on the swings, and then ... Any day in the past is "yesterday" (and any day in the future is either tomorrow or Saturday).

So, one day I'm getting some crazy run down of what happened and she annouces "and Sig (a little toddler boy) had a penis yesterday"

Last week sitting on her potty with Daddy helping her, she announced out of the blue "Daddy has a big penis" Compared to the only other penises she's seen, those of her toddler friends, it's certainly true. Poor DH had no clue how to respond.

SAHM to flower.gif DD1 8/06 , loveeyes.gif DD2 8/09 , and bfinfant.gifDD3 9/12  married to geek.gif 6/99.  We homeschool.gif, cd.gif, homebirth.jpg, familybed2.gif, and lots of wash.gif and dishes.gif.

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Old 02-06-2009, 05:56 PM
 
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DD is on a chapstick kick right now. She calls it her "lip". So...we frequently get stares of confusion when she says "Mommy, gimme some lip please."

A while ago, when kisses were still the magical cure-all, she fell and hit her bottom pretty hard. So, she walks up to dh, puts her butt, diaper only, in his face and says "Kiss my butt, Daddy".

J A with DD1 7/06, lost twins 9/08
DD2 12/09 & DS1 12/09
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Old 02-06-2009, 07:06 PM
 
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My dad speaks German w/DD. DD is obsessed with numbers. For some reason, though, she only says 6 in German...and it's her favorite number.

A few days ago, in Target, DD is toddling up and down the aisles, getting out some energy, and she sees a tag on the floor. Of course it had a six on it, and of course she wants this filthy piece of paper.

DD: Sechs, Mommy, sechs! WANT SECHS! WANT IT NOW! PLEEEEEEASE!!!!

You know how "sechs" is pronounced, right? Needless to say, I ran down the aisle and got the tag for her.

It was SOOOOOO much worse b/c she was obviously speaking English, except for her incredibly embarrassing demand for sex.

Mommy to DD 5-07
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Old 02-08-2009, 02:05 AM
 
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HAHA this is a great thread, I need to sub.

Fortunately... I don't have anything to add yet... but DD is only 26 months, so I'm sure my time is coming.

Andrea , child of God, wife of Tim , mama of L, B, J, J

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Old 04-29-2009, 11:25 AM
 
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When I was in Kindergarden and my mom got unexpectedly pregnant with my brother, I was telling the class about the baby coming into my family. I told everyone, "And when my dad came home from work, my mom said, 'Honey, you're a silver bullet!'" Later when I was telling my mom about the story, she said, "You didn't say that did you?" I didn't learn till I was older what 'silver bullet' meant.

Single mama to S ~ 6/09

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Old 04-29-2009, 11:58 AM
 
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When my cousins and I were all still younger, our families would meet up for the Christmas holidays at my grandfather's condo, which was in the mountains, so we could go skiing. Well, my youngest brother went back to school in January one year and told his kindergarten teacher that he liked Grampa's condom!!! (She figured it out pretty fast when he elaborated, and she shared the joke with my mom when she came to pick up my brother.)
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Old 04-29-2009, 12:40 PM
 
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My SIL took my niece to the restroom at a walmart. The lady in the next stall was obviously having some tummy trouble. So my niece started singing "Diarhea, diarhea, cha cha cha..."

Mommy to (6-24-09)
Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.
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Old 04-29-2009, 03:19 PM
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These are hysterical!

My favorite DD story like this is from a while ago, when she was maybe 16 months old. The Jewish Community Center near us has a great playroom that we sometimes take her to. DH was there with her one day, and she was drinking some juice out of a sippy cup. She spilled some, and happened to be in a stage when she got very upset about things being too "dirty." She promptly started yelling, loudly, "dirty juice! dirty juice!" Needless to say, that's not exactly what it sounded like... As others parents looked over at him, DH, embarrassed, was clarifying "Yes, your juiCE is spilled and looks dirty..."
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Old 04-29-2009, 03:43 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamarootoo View Post
my favorite so far is when she pointed at a woman in the grocery store, and said (oh so very loudly) "POO POO SH*T!"

that's Ella-nese for "purple shirt." i'm not sure if the woman believed me though! (she was wearing a bright purple shirt though!)
This is where I would loudly reply, "yes, dd, that woman DOES have a purple shirt - pretty, huh?"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miasmamma View Post
She also sings a song she made up, "My vulva, my butt! My vulva, my butt!" It has moves and everything.
This made me laugh til I cried. And your dd is DARLING! (I clicked on the link in your sig)

Quote:
Originally Posted by darien View Post
Today ds4 was pushing a picture of Pres. Obama across the kitchen floor by blowing on it (Who knows why!). I was in his path, so he decided to go under me, saying "Spread your legs for President Obama, Mommy!"
I was still wiping my eyes from the vulva/butt song and dance above when I read this. Going to have to redo my eye makeup before going to work, people!

Quote:
Originally Posted by EviesMom View Post
Yeah, this not an "out of context" tale, but a friend knew exactly where her American toddler learned his first "bad word" because in her husband's British accent, the toddler got frustrated and shouted "BLOODY HELL!"
I think this is awesome! What a funny thing to hear a toddler say - especially perfect in context.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ihugtrees View Post
I didn't learn till I was older what 'silver bullet' meant.
Some of us still don't know. Explain?
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