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Old 01-26-2009, 04:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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DD, 3 years old, is getting to the point of noticing she looks different from us. She was adopted. So as I was reading her one book we pointed out that DH has green eyes and Mommy has blue eyes and I said DD your eyes are so dark they are almost black... Next day as I was dropping her off at daycare she tells her DCP "Daddy gives me black eyes" Yikes not quite what we talked about... Luckily she's a friend of our and she has also been helping her see how kids are different at day care.

Also when I pick her up at daycare to get to the car you have to walk up a flight of stairs and into her driveway. So I try and make it into a game saying its a race and can she beat me to the car. One day just as we were leaving, " Mommy are you going to beat me today?" I was so confused I was like what do you mean? She said you beat me to car? So now we "race" to the car.
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Old 01-26-2009, 04:41 PM
 
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Yikes. So funny!

My ds really likes the book Herschel and the Hannukah Goblins, and he loves to quote his favorite stories. We were in the grocery store a few weeks ago, and a table full of post-holiday sale items must have jogged his memory, because he suddenly yelled "I HATE Hannukah!"

I was mortified, of course. Everyone was staring. I thought about explaining that he was quoting a goblin, but thought that might have made things worse. I just moved on....
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Old 01-26-2009, 07:58 PM
 
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hahahaha!!!!!

I guess I am lucky my dd only says 'mama' thus far!

Oh the things I have to look forward to.

Cortney Mama to Lyra 1-20-08 and future midwife through Birthingway College of Midwifery
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Old 01-26-2009, 11:41 PM
 
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This wasn't said about my toddler, but about her by her older brothers.

When we were getting all ready for her to come, we had a crib set up. My younger dss kept talking about the 'cage' we were going to put her in when she slept. Needless to say, she never slept in it - she ended up cosleeping.
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Old 01-27-2009, 03:30 AM
 
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I'm cracking up at these!!

Danielle, wife to John, mama to Valley9.24.07
expecting our miracle babies around 5.12.10- praying that baby B grows healthy and strong!
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Old 01-27-2009, 03:47 AM
 
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Just this evening, my kids' dad was sitting on the couch and he had the baby on his lap. When Lil' Man started to fuss just a bit, dad lifted him up and plopped him in my lap, and I made a comment about how he just flipped him over to me.

Next thing I know, DD is yelling, "Daddy flipped off the baby! Don't you flip off my baby like that, Dad!!"



The kids also watched a Tom & Jerry cartoon during the holidays where Jerry Mouse took in a baby orphan mouse for Thanksgiving and the baby mouse was named Nibbles. Well, DD can't say Nibbles. And for some reason they really remember this episode, so DD (who is 3) often pipes up about Tom & Jerry's Nipples. "Nipples ate the whole pie!" she exclaimed yesterday. It always takes me a few minutes to figure out what she's talking about... Jerry put his Nipples on the table... Tom was chasing Nipples... Do you think Jerry's Nipples is cute, mom... etc. etc. Heaven help me if she ever starts yelling about this in Walmart or something.

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Old 01-27-2009, 04:38 PM
 
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dd has a book called "frog girl" that she really likes, but with her 2-year old pronunciation, it comes out as...

"I want f*#ck ewwl"

get the picture? My mom was looking after dd last week and was killing herself laughing but never could figure out what dd was trying to communicate!
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Old 01-27-2009, 05:41 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Jess_n'_the_bean View Post
dd has a book called "frog girl" that she really likes, but with her 2-year old pronunciation, it comes out as...

"I want f*#ck ewwl"

get the picture? My mom was looking after dd last week and was killing herself laughing but never could figure out what dd was trying to communicate!
I have a similar one. A few months ago, DD was going through a truck phase. We were walking down the street and she was riding on my shoulders. We passed a big truck. She eagerly starting waving at it and shouting at the top of her lungs, "Bye-bye big f*#ck! Bye-bye big f*#ck!"

Sarah, mama to Miriam 9/26/2006 and Isaac 2/12/2010
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Old 01-27-2009, 05:54 PM
 
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My nephew really liked dump trucks, but when he was 2, it soundes more like dumb F#!K.

Laura, Troy, Seth 6.24.06 , and Aaron 7.13.09
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Old 01-27-2009, 06:04 PM
 
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literaly wiping tears from my cheeks!

dust.gifmama to  ds2/03 ds2/05 dd4/07 and expecting someone new in the spring! chicken3.gif

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Old 01-27-2009, 06:16 PM
 
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From DD as she snuggled up to Daddy on an airplane, and loudly too.... "Daddy, you're the best. You're my lover."

Happy with my DH, 2 kids, dog, fish, and frogs
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Old 01-27-2009, 06:19 PM
 
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Not my story, but co-workers. Still very funny though...

Family has very hyper cocker spaniel named Elliot. Child goes to school and announces "Elliot liked my penis". CPS becomes involved. Took several weeks before CPS convinced that this was case of dog running amok at bathtime, not a molestation case.

Moral of story: careful what you name your pets, and ban them from the bathroom.
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Old 01-27-2009, 06:35 PM
 
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So far, my son doesn't say that much, but I have two good stories:

1. I was visiting a friend who married a German and has 5 kids. Her eldest daughter was in the living room and she called the play pen her younger twin brothers were in "das Baby-Gefangnis" - the Baby Jail. Made me decide not to have one at my house when I had children...

2. My supervisor was at the grocery store and saw our human resources person (who is a married lady) with her young daughter at the checkout line. He said hi to them, and super-loudly, the HR woman's daughter pointed at him and said, "Is THAT my daddy?" ...Uh, no, but you managed to embarrass your mom pretty good.

Doula, WOHM, wife to a super-fun papa, mama to the Monkey ('07), and his little brother, the Sea Monkey ('09).
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Old 01-27-2009, 07:31 PM
 
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: Holy crap these are funny.
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Old 01-27-2009, 07:35 PM
 
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2. My supervisor was at the grocery store and saw our human resources person (who is a married lady) with her young daughter at the checkout line. He said hi to them, and super-loudly, the HR woman's daughter pointed at him and said, "Is THAT my daddy?" ...Uh, no, but you managed to embarrass your mom pretty good.
That one reminds me of my cousin and my aunt in the grocery store when he was a preschooler. Nice little old lady in line starts chatting with him, how old are you? Are you helping Mommy? Is Daddy at work?" to which my cousin replied at top volume, and very proudly. "Nope. My Daddy is in JAIL!" (He worked as a guard at the local jail.)

Happy with my DH, 2 kids, dog, fish, and frogs
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Old 01-27-2009, 07:42 PM
 
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Earlier this summer, my daughter was eating orange slices. She picked up a slice that still had the rind on it and started loudly demanding that I "take the ass off!! I can't eat it, take the ass off!!"

I figured out later she was trying to say edge but it was still hilarious.

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Old 01-27-2009, 08:01 PM
 
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When I was three or four years old I fell while riding my trike and scraped one side of my face up really badly. Imagine skinning your knee on the side-walk...now picture it all over one side of your face! Anyway, my dad was the one that cleaned me up. There must have been lots of discussion about that Daddy wasn't hurting me while he washed the gravel and rocks out of my scrapes...because when the inevitable "Oh my goodness what happened to you??!!" came from a random stranger, my response was an emphatic "Daddy didn't do it!"

My poor mom. But I have to say, the scab was impressive! Right before Easter. My grandma made me take a picture with my face turned so only the bit of scab over my nose showed. And I have NEVER liked people that put those little troughs next to the sidewalk!!!
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Old 01-27-2009, 10:27 PM
 
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When dd was tiny, dh would bounce her to comfort her. One morning, younger dss (the same one who called dd's crib a cage), told me "daddy shook the baby!" Dd was about 2 weeks old at the time and I freaked out until he explained it to me.
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Old 01-27-2009, 11:50 PM
 
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DD, on the differences between mommy's, papa's, and her genitalia: "I have a tiny gina! Mommy have a big gina! Papa have a long gina!"
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Old 01-28-2009, 02:37 AM
 
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I have one about me When I was a toddler we took a long car trip to visit my Aunt. We went to pick up another Aunt, who asked all of us if we needed to use the restroom before heading to the other house. My Dad said no and I piped up "Daddy's don't have to pee so much because theirs are longer! They hold more."

What can I say? When I was 3, it must have made perfect sense

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Old 01-28-2009, 05:10 AM
 
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Well, we are frequently laughing about how we are always saying, things like, you can't touch your bottom then your food, your feet can't touch your food, and yes you do have to wear panties it is a rule. (we did the whole run around naked thing for a long time, but we really need to her to wear clothes sometimes!! It's cold!) Anyone else constantly saying don't due xyz gross thing, like its normal!!!

Mama to Clara 5/2/06, & Anna 11/4/08 and wife to Dan 6/8/02
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Old 01-28-2009, 11:39 AM
 
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when dd says ketchup it sounds like "cat shit" the first time she said it i was having breakfast with a friend at a small rest in my home town. a girl i graduated hs with was waiting on us. dd kept yelling "WANT CAT SHIT MAMA WANT CAT SHIT!!!!" it took us most of the meal to realize what she wanted. that was the beginning of her love affair with the condiment

Mama to Amelia - age 6

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Old 01-28-2009, 01:51 PM
 
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A few weeks ago, we were all snuggling in our bed in the morning, the girls in the middle. They like to climb over us and then slide down our legs onto the floor. So, Kate slithers over to Daddy and says "Daddy, I want to go down on you!" Hmm.

Betsy, mama to beautiful, strong MZ twins Lillian and Kate, born 11 weeks early on January 10, 2006.
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Old 01-28-2009, 02:54 PM
 
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GOOD moms let their kids lick the beaters. GREAT moms turn off the mixer first!
Humanist Woman Wife , & Friend Plus Mama to 6 (3 mos, 2, 9, 13, 17, 20)
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Old 01-28-2009, 04:58 PM
 
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Anyone else constantly saying don't due xyz gross thing, like its normal!!!
Only things like, "Don't let Baby suck on your nose!" and "No, you can't wipe her butt, let ME do that!!"

I also used to have to tell my son not to "chew his teeth." That's because he grinds, and has always done so, even before he had teeth. When he was between two and three, he'd grind while he was coloring or watching TV or even riding in the car, things like that. I tried to explain what he was doing and he didn't understand "grind." So I showed him: "this is what you're doing" (insert demonstration) "and you should try not to, it's bad for your teeth." He interpreted that as chewing, hence "don't chew your teeth." Anyone else hears that, and they look at me like I've lost my mind.

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Old 01-28-2009, 05:00 PM
 
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Originally Posted by OGirlieMama View Post
A few weeks ago, we were all snuggling in our bed in the morning, the girls in the middle. They like to climb over us and then slide down our legs onto the floor. So, Kate slithers over to Daddy and says "Daddy, I want to go down on you!" Hmm.
Oh my...

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Old 01-28-2009, 06:09 PM
 
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NAK These are hysterical!! Be back later to add mine lol!

namaste.gif Practicing medicine Mama to four beautiful children 
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Old 01-28-2009, 09:12 PM
 
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hysterical!

there have been a few with DD, but my favorite so far is when she pointed at a woman in the grocery store, and said (oh so very loudly) "POO POO SH*T!"

that's Ella-nese for "purple shirt." i'm not sure if the woman believed me though! (she was wearing a bright purple shirt though!)

also, DH taught DD to say "i know" when he says she's beautiful
it's sooooo embarrassing when a stranger tells her she's beautiful and she says "i know." *cringe*
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Old 01-28-2009, 09:26 PM
 
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My DD today noticed the testicles on my dad's dog. She asked what they were, although she knows quite well what they are because we are constantly telling her to leave our dog's alone. She then proceeds to tell my dad that Lance has testicles, but Julie (our other dog) has a vulva, she has a vulva and Daddy has testicles too. My dad had a look on his face like he was totally unsure where to go with all that. She also sings a song she made up, "My vulva, my butt! My vulva, my butt!" It has moves and everything. It's kinda embarrassing at church!

Erin, mom to Amelia Rose:, 6/15/06 and Lily Grace, 6/7/09; wife to Phil since 10/9/04
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Old 01-28-2009, 10:14 PM
 
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I am constantly telling ds, when he comes in the bathroom with me, "no that's okay, I can wipe myself, thank you!"
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